Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #6

[oldcrunchymom]

Time to put the 500-post monster to bed.

[mamaverdi]

Subscribing.

Sooo....what do you guys do when the child completely melts and starts being insane: biting, kicking, hitting, head-butting, calling names. And in front of government workers?

We just got word that the gifted-talented school here has 2 openings still for primary level AND any child that wants to come to their school and qualifies can come REGARDLESS of ability to pay!!!

We are taking ds1 to see the school today for an open house. And tomorrow we are having the evaluation to see if he qualifies and if he is a good fit for the school.

I know (now) that he's really smart, but I am SOOO nervous about this. I hope he will have a good rapport with the person evaluating him.

[CAmomto1]

I introduced myself on the last thread, but here I am again...

Question - has anyone here had to negotiate with their child's school for advancement in one subject while staying with their age-mates the rest of the day? DD has strengths in math, and is doing at least first grade level math, possibly second grade, depending on whose scope and sequence you look at. She'll be in a K class at a private school this fall, and they use Math Their Way. This curriculum is SO not what DD needs in order to move forward and be challenged. In talking with her future teacher last spring, she assured me that DD would be appropriately challenged, not to worry. (The issue of reading came up as well, as DD can read, too.) Her teacher seemed sincere, but I can't help but wonder if she figured I was just one of 'those' parents who thinks their child is brighter than everyone else's.

Honestly, if I had my way she'd be in a first grade class from the start, but last spring they didn't have any spots, so we accepted the K spot with our fingers crossed that we'd be able to work something out. Now I'm wondering if we've made a big mistake. I love the school in general, from what I've seen and heard about it, and I know that emotionally and socially it's likely a wonderful place for DD to be. But I can't help but also worry about her academic experiences.

Any advice? Do I wait a week, a month, into the year before registering concerns? I'm a worrier by nature and I know this is going to weigh heavily on my mind.

I'd planned on hs'ing, but right now school seems like a better choicce overall for DD. I hope it is - we're giving it a year to see how it goes.

Anyway, I'm rambling. TIA for any help or support.

[ChristaN]

We are going to be seeking grade advancement for specific subjects with my older dd this year, too. My plan is to inquire at the start of the year (they're just starting now) as to when they do assessments of children's abilities. I am then going to check back after said assessment and inquire as to what they are planning to do with dd in regard to reading instruction. Unless the teacher is a complete bozo, I am sure that she is going to notice that dd is functioning quite above grade level in that area.

She will be in second grade & is a little advanced in math, but not so much that staying in her regular classroom should be a problem. However, for reading, she is currently reading btwn 7th-8th grade books & I want her pulled out to a gifted reading group or sent to an older grade classroom for that subject (5th would be as high of a grade as she could go b/c that is the oldest grade in the school & I would be okay with that or 4th -- whatever the teachers think is appropriate).

I'm going to have to tread lightly here b/c I am sure that I have a reputation as a pain of a parent from last year (she had an awful teacher last year). None the less, I am not there to win friends for me, just to make sure that the environment is appropriate for dds. With our younger dd, she will be 5 at the end of Sept & is entering kg. She, too, can read a bit and has a pretty good understanding of math concepts, but she is young enough that I am fine with her staying in kg and just seeing what her strengths pan out to be over time.

[OTMomma]

Originally Posted by mamaverdi

Sooo....what do you guys do when the child completely melts and starts being insane: biting, kicking, hitting, head-butting, calling names. And in front of government workers?

My dd has some of those meltdowns. I've found for us the best solution is to remove her to somewhere she can be quiet (such as taking her out of group) and giving her a snack. For some reason, food really calms my dc down. I've also found that if I give her a snack before she gets all the way wound up, it nips it in the bud, so to speak. However, if she is all the way up to insane, I often have to actually give the food to her doll, and tell it to share with her, then I leave her alone with the doll and the food. She eats and is sane again. Although dd is normally a senstive child, being low blood sugar making her a sight from the exorcist! Good luck with the gifted school- thats awsome!

Peace,
Laura

[isisjade]

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[eilonwy]

Thank you for starting the new thread, Lisa!

Christa-- don't worry about being the PITA parent. Do what you have to do.

I'm in total agreement about food for meltdowns. BeanBean gets hysterical when his blood sugar is low! He's having a much better time dealing with everything though, now that he's getting an iron supplement regularly. I can't remember the last time he became irrational and I wasn't able to associate it directly with something that he'd seen/heard (Beauty and the Beast ) or with low blood sugar. I only wish that I'd taken diet and nutrition more seriously as a potential cause for such behavior in the past.

I feel like someone has hit me over the head with a two-by-four again. I"m totally exhausted. I guess I'll be having a first trimester ultrasound after all, because I'm so freaking tired that I can well believe that there are two in there. :yawn:

[luvmypoonchkie]

Sam's trigger food is yellow dye (studies show that as many as 75% of kids have a hyperactive reaction to either red or yellow dye). He seems okay with red, but yellow sends him over the edge, it's almost like he really can't control his actions and regain composure when he's had it. The annoying thing is that it's in EVERYTHING from cereal to vitamins and children's medicines. Blech....

Jenn

[CAmomto1]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

We are going to be seeking grade advancement for specific subjects with my older dd this year, too. My plan is to inquire at the start of the year (they're just starting now) as to when they do assessments of children's abilities. I am then going to check back after said assessment and inquire as to what they are planning to do with dd in regard to reading instruction. Unless the teacher is a complete bozo, I am sure that she is going to notice that dd is functioning quite above grade level in that area.

That makes sense.

Originally Posted by ChristaN

None the less, I am not there to win friends for me, just to make sure that the environment is appropriate for dds.

Exactly - that is my goal as well, and I hope that things will be cooperative and not confrontational or combative in nature.

[mamaverdi]

Originally Posted by luvmypoonchkie

Sam's trigger food is yellow dye

(Is there a smilie for slapping yourself in the head?)

This reminds me: he had just had a blue lollipop the speech therapist gave him!

ARG...and when I mentioned to the ECI coordinator that he was acting crazy because of the lollipop...she said "Oh he's just acting like a normal 5 year old, and you aren't consistent with him and this is the problem." Um, yeah lady, okay.

But I guess "normal" five year olds are fed Kool-Aid, so go figure.

mv

[OTMomma]

Originally Posted by mamaverdi

(Is there a smilie for slapping yourself in the head?)

Sure, Here you go

But I have to say at that awful woman for acusing you of bad parenting! I don't know why anyone thinks it is OK to do that!

[TiredX2]

Originally Posted by ChristaN

We are going to be seeking grade advancement for specific subjects with my older dd this year, too. My plan is to inquire at the start of the year (they're just starting now) as to when they do assessments of children's abilities. I am then going to check back after said assessment and inquire as to what they are planning to do with dd in regard to reading instruction. Unless the teacher is a complete bozo, I am sure that she is going to notice that dd is functioning quite above grade level in that area.

Please keep me updated on how this goes. I'm not concerned for DD but a good friend of her's was academically ready to skip at least a grade but didn't score high enough on the CogAT (by one point) to be put in the full time gifted program (and they don't want to grade skip). Her mom is looking into specific subject advancement for 1st grade and I'd love to know any one elses experiences.

[heythere heather]

Originally Posted by mamaverdi

Sooo....what do you guys do when the child completely melts and starts being insane: biting, kicking, hitting, head-butting, calling names. And in front of government workers?

I act like I'm completely in control whenever there's a fit in public. Calm, cool, collected. I talk calmly to Erik, and I don't react to his behaviors, or get upset just because there are people around. I play a mental tape in my head "all the people looking? Wow, they're so impressed with how calmly I'm handling this, and they're amazed at how well I can do it." LOL! It really does help take the pressure off, though.

[OTMomma]

I'm not usually big on parenting books, but I just read "How to talk so kids will listen and Listen so kids will talk" and I got a lot of insight and ideas for new ways to react to dd. I didn't feel like there was a huge revelation- but I really liked having lists of different ways to react, so now if she does A, I don't just have my usual list of ideas, I have 3 more from the book and I can find one that works.

[OTMomma]

I do know what you mean about the intensity! It takes a high level of creativity to deal with it!

[NoHiddenFees]

Dunno how applicable it might be, but I have a friend who recommends Living with the Active Alert Child by Linda S. Budd. Friend's DD is gifted... very creative and active, has always needed little sleep, intensely emotional reactions to frustration (much moreso than a typical 3yo). The first chapter is viewable on Amazon.

[Charles Baudelaire]

Hi! Just subscribin'...

[m&m]

Just wanted to say good luck to all of you who are dealing with the challenges of PS. I hope everything works out in the best way for your dc.

It is nice to know that there are some places where the schools try to accommodate the needs of the gifted student.

As for meltdowsn - yep they are common. And understandable since the brain doesn't even have time before the reaction gets out (like a minuscule fuse LOL ) Good meals, lots of rest, and no stress (deep breathing) can all do wonders.

[teachma]

Subscribing. We have been on vacation with my ILs for a week. It was a really trying time for my strong-willed ds, for whom everything with dh and grandpa are a power struggle. Nonetheless, we had some fun times...

Britishmum, we had a similar experience to your daugther's mint toothpaste situation whle on vacation. MIL bought ds a sweatshirt; she bought one for each of us. We accepted our sweatshirts and thanked her appropriately, but when she gave ds his shirt, he said, "I hate this sweatshirt" and threw it back at her. I'm not inclined to be embarrassed by my child's behavior, but don't most almost 5 year olds know how to graciously accept gifts...from their GRANDMA??? I understand the minty toothpaste thing more- my son truly can't stand mint and the way it feels in his mouth, so if your dd is like that, it makes sense. However, my son was being completely arbitrary from what I could see. He hadn't even tried the shirt on, so he couldn't have thought it was uncomfortable...

[Bearsmama]

Hi Mamas,
I haven't checked in here in months, but I was thrilled to see that there are still so many good discussions and support going on.

Here's a question that may have been answered before: Any good book reccommendations for dealing with a gifted child? Particularly a young one? Or one that includes resources/etc., for as they approach school age?

My oldest son is 3.7 years and incredibly challenging and incredibly bright. He starts preschool (3 hours/day) this September. I just saw an old neighbor today who said, after watching DS play and run around for a while (and really knowing nothing of our challenges in parenting him), "I have a book for you". And then proceeded to ask me about certain behaviors and whether or not he exhibits them. I said yes to all of them. She has a 12 year old gifted daughter who was incredibly similar as a child and is a gifted kid now.

I have to remind myself of his "specialness" and coming to this thread really, really helps. For some reason, I hate to label, but as the months and years go on, I know that I am dealing with a very gifted boy. BTW, he was talking to the neighbor about plate tectonics. I think that's what tipped her off.

Thanks again for this thread. And if anyone knows a good book, could you please post it? TIA