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Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #6 - Page 31

post #601 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunRayeMomi


LeftField, you mentioned in another thread awhile back your dislike of the use of the word "gifted". I see you are posting here a lot, but you haven't really touched on this here. Have you changed your mind? I try not to take the term too seriously. But at least it's a term that is well-understood to mean something- maybe not something specific, but something prolific. Shall we turn your suggestion of "high IQ with asynchronous development" into the acronym H.I.Q.A.D. for simplicity? :

I dislike the word, "gifted", because it sets people off and it's not very descriptive of what it actually refers to. When people hear the word, "gifted", they think "gift" and then they think, "Hey, my child is a gift too." or "My child has gifts too.", both of which are true, of course. And then there are "gifted and talented programs", which sometimes are set up on achievement. Like, in my state, you just study and make a certain score on an achievement test and you get in. So, the "gifted" pull-out is something that competitive parents vie (sp?) for. So, I wish a new word could just be devised, because the old one is loaded and it's not very descriptive.
post #602 of 776
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post #603 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by freerangemama
He is sensitive. The problem? He is so very physical and his personality is so boisterous that people overlook his sensitive nature and constantly underestimate his abilities. We do it all the time and we are conscious of it, others do it even more and are oblivious.
I have the exact opposite problem with dd, because I keep forgetting that she is still a baby- well, 4.5- and sometimes I unconsciously expect more from her than is really appropriate (age-wise). Of course, since we are talking about children that aren't really on par comparitively in the age-wise sense, it's easy to understand why I would forget how young she is when she's so articulate and poised most of the time....

Quote:
I worry more for him than anyone because he is so young and already getting pinned into the role of "class clown".
I, on the other hand was(am) totally the class clown to make up for the fact that I was always the first to uncooly comment on academics in class discussions. I don't remember at the age of your son per se, but definitly in primary school. So I totally get what you're saying here.
post #604 of 776
LeftField, you are only too right.
post #605 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmypoonchkie
No need to respond to this (although it would make this the first post of mine in months that has actually been responded too) as I won't be checking back in.

Signing off!
Now, Jenn, I don't think this is entirely true and I don't know why it strikes such a nerve. Didn't we converse the other day about the sword thing? I could have sworn you had that Vietnam story. And I specifically remember commenting on Sam's beautiful ocean artwork. It's a fast-moving thread and I know I have a hard time commenting on everything that everyone says. Sometimes, people don't say very much about my posts and I just assume that it's because it's busy here. It moves too fast and there's so much information/anecodotes, etc.

It's not very nice to call people names either. Oh well, take care!
post #606 of 776
Quote:
As has been stated eloquently by others, the "bragging" (which I always thought was obvious that it is tongue-in-cheek) is simply stating ordinary events in our children's lives.


Sorry, I'm in agreement a lot here
post #607 of 776
Quote:
There is so much wallowing in "why does my kid have to be so gifted, it's so torturous, we're such freaks, why does the world hate us, we feel so alone" self pity it's made me want too on more than one occasion.
:LOL

Yah, life sucks. Poor me! I have to spend day after day with 3 wonderful children who delight and challenge me.

Parenting is hard. Sometimes I need to share the challenges that are unique to my situation with parents who understand and can offer some unique insights because they have experienced something similar. When I have issues regarding diet/allergies I post them in a thread about allergies. Would anyone post negative attitudes about that? (You people are always complaining how your kids will die if they eat this food or that, you can't go to restaraunts, you are always trying to one-up people "my child gets stomach pains" "my child vomits" "my child is anaphylactic", blah blah blah).

When we share the joys we are "bragging" and when we share the challenges we are wallowing in self pity :LOL Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
post #608 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by FreeRangeMama
When we share the joys we are "bragging" and when we share the challenges we are wallowing in self pity :LOL Damned if you do, damned if you don't.
post #609 of 776
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post #610 of 776
Lisa/Lckrause:
I'm over what you said. Thank you.

Teak'sMom:
Hi! I understand about it being busy here. I usually just lurked and occasionally posted, simply because it was so busy and I had a lot going on IRL. It's tough to follow this thread.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jkpmomtoboys
The thing about being gifted I think is that it really comes down to how a child thinks. And that's really tough to measure so people don't focus on that but on things that they can compare and contrast. That's why at first it's when the baby talked, how many words, then later it's letters, numbers, and on to reading and reading levels. But the problem with that is that when you talk about a kid being "gifted", people think you're just talking about those measurable things, when really you are talking about something larger--how your child thinks and processes and the bad and the good that goes along with that and how it makes your child more sensitive and how hard can be to protect them.
Yes!
post #611 of 776
Quote:
I have the exact opposite problem with dd, because I keep forgetting that she is still a baby- well, 4.5- and sometimes I unconsciously expect more from her than is really appropriate (age-wise). Of course, since we are talking about children that aren't really on par comparitively in the age-wise sense, it's easy to understand why I would forget how young she is when she's so articulate and poised most of the time....
I think that part of our problem is that our 4.5 yo acts like an adult most of the time, so by contrast the 2 yo comes off as even more boisterous when some of it is just normal 2 yo stuff (though he is in constant motion, he is always "ON", kind of like when you meet that really outgoing person and you wonder if they are always like that, he is!). It is hard not to be cast into rolls when they are so different.

Quote:
I, on the other hand was(am) totally the class clown to make up for the fact that I was always the first to uncooly comment on academics in class discussions. I don't remember at the age of your son per se, but definitly in primary school. So I totally get what you're saying here.
Was that a positive or a negative for you? How do you wish people may have reacted differently?
post #612 of 776
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post #613 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by luvmypoonchkie

I don't post here often and the reason is because of the support boards I've visited this is by far the least supportive, most one-uppy (if my kid can't beat your kid I'll tell you a story about myself that will) board I've been too. Maybe it's because this is a "crunchy" board, but man, you all take yourselfs and your kids way too seriously. There is so much wallowing in "why does my kid have to be so gifted, it's so torturous, we're such freaks, why does the world hate us, we feel so alone" self pity it's made me want too :Puke on more than one occasion.

No need to respond to this (although it would make this the first post of mine in months that has actually been responded too) as I won't be checking back in.

Signing off!
Funny, I lurk here a great deal and I don't see the one-upmanship you're talking about. Would you mind posting an example or two -- easy to do, right, since it happens often?

Anyway, it's a shame that other people sharing their challenges makes you want to puke. Do the other Special Needs boards make you feel the same way? If they don't, I wonder why you don't regard them as indulging in self-pity?

I have no doubt at all that parents of special-needs kids deal with their share and more of insensitive and callous people who fail to appreciate that any time you have a child who is markedly different from the norm, it's a challenge. One thing that's different for them (or at least I sincerely hope it's different for them) is that they probably have far fewer people implying -- or outright saying -- that they're somehow to blame for their child's difference.

They also, I would hope, are met with consideration and sympathy when they wish to speak to other people in the BTDT club about their child's successes and failures, challenges and triumphs, or the mundane "stuff" that makes up everyday life.

That's what this forum is for. Sorry if it's not to your taste.
post #614 of 776
Quote:
Was that a positive or a negative for you? How do you wish people may have reacted differently?
I had quite a hard time socializing up until about 7th grade because of my *ahem* differences. At that time, I started using the "class-clown" thing to gain attention using wit and humor (not to mention, yearning for a different "in-crowd" to associate with), which worked until high school, in which, thankfully, I was accepted more on an intellectual basis. Also, I think by that time I had begun to discover who I was comfortable being, regardless of popularity. But the years leading up to that were difficult. This has directly contributed to my awareness of RayeAnne's uniqueness, as I would give my right arm to protect her from such feelings of such inadequacy in a public school.
So I would say, negative at first, but later it became a positive.
I don't know how I would have had people rather react. I know that I had some teachers that wanted me in a box, and others that encouraged my thought processes, but as for peers, I can't blame them for their treatment of me. Overall I am feeling that homeschool is best for my daughter since I can't yet distinguish how ps would be a positive experience for her from my own experiences.
post #615 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
"6" and "9" are whichever number he has on his mind at the moment, if there's no line underneath them. "V" is always "A," and so on. He doesn't read things backwards; "E" is never "3," but "p" is often "d." It's only an up-down transposition. So what's up with that?! Is it a form of dyslexia? Is it perfectly normal for a child his age, or for emergent readers?
My son does this with p and d especially. For some reason, he doesn't with numbers... I remember from my child development course in uni that it's very normal and not related to dyslexia or other learning disabilities. When I was very young, I'd often write letters as mirror images. I can still read upside down and mirror image text as fast as regular text, but I generelly know which way is which nowadays.

Thank you teachma and eilonwy for the comments on ds' role play. It's helpful to hear others experiences. Eilonwy -- my son also does the role play when he has done something he knows he shouldn't.
post #616 of 776
Wallowing in self-pity over the slings and arrows of my children's outrageous fortune? Well, I don't know, maybe I do... but it certainly doesn't help that while the overwhemling majority of people (here at MDC and IRL) are fully aware and freely admit that a child with, say, cerebral palsy will have challenges to face and overcome, most people (again, online and IRL) don't understand that there *are* challenges associated with giftedness at all. It's hard not to look like you're wallowing in self-pity when other people can't see that there's any struggle involved; that's my problem with the word "gifted." It implies a gift, which is inherently and wholly good. There's no negative association with the word, which makes it difficult for people to understand that there could be (is!!) a negative association with giftedness.

Oh-- and I specifially addressed the problems that I had with the other thread... I thought that I was pretty clear, but I could be wrong. It's happened before, and it will happen again.

I will freely admit-- it takes me about a week to get to uploaded photos or scanned images online these days. I've got a crappy connection and an even crappier computer to use. We are hoping to get a new one with our tax refund, but finances are unbearably tight right now. I won't go into any more details to avoid "wallowing." Anyway, I can't get to images right away. I also can't check my email more often than once a week (and it's usually every other week... ) at my ILs. I'm not trying to ignore anyone, though. I am very open about the fact that I have frequent computer problems and no high speed connection, and on the other threads that I post to regularly people are very understanding...

I have to say, sometimes reading this thread I feel very privileged to have the children that I have. BeanBean especially is well adjusted and happy; he has no sensory issues to speak of, getting him to try new and different foods has never been a problem (BeanBean's diet is more varied than most people's, I'd wager!), he is socially adept and his physical development is on par with that of his age peers. He's inquisitive, open minded, and fun to talk with most of the time; he's got very interesting insights into the world, and I get a real kick out of him. He can be rambunctious at times, and even overwhelming for me in some ways, but overall, despite his high energy level, I'd say that he's rather easy to deal with most of the time. I've felt from the very beginning that I "lucked out" with him (in fact, I often felt that his extremely easy infancy was God's way of apologizing to me for the AGONY that was his pregnancy & birth). He's a great kid, and very easy to deal with. Reading over this thread and seeing some actual challenges, some of which I can relate to personally but very few of which apply to BeanBean just makes me more appreciative of how easy I have it in so many ways.

BooBah is an entirely different story-- it seems like every day she becomes more sensitive and more aware. While BeanBean will sleep if he's tired regardless of the surrounding environment (his only request is a blanket, but if he's tired enough he'll forego even that), BooBah is completely unable to sleep if the lights are on, there's too much noise, it's too warm, it's too cold, she's wearing too much clothing, she's got a blanket covering the wrong parts of her body, she doesn't have a good space, she's too far away from Mama/Daddy/BeanBean, she's too close to Mama/Daddy/BeanBean... I could go on and on like this. I can think of many people who wouldn't even notice such things, especially as first time parents, but with BeanBean around the differences are striking. She's a different child, and every day her differences (from her brother and her peers) are more apparent. So I'm glad that I stuck with this thread before she was born, and have seen other children go through these things and even grow out of some of them. I know that when it gets to the point where I'm losing my mind because I'm not doing the bedtime routine in the right order and things are making me crazy, there will be someone here who understands and can walk me through it all again...

CB-- I've been meaning to ask: how is Lou doing with her perfectionism issues? How are you guys coping these days?

FRM-- I count myself lucky that my older child is the more boisterous one. Seriously, though, I don't think that he's setting himself up to be the class clown; he's simply asserting, once and for all, that he is a unique individual, and that he's a different person from his brother. The things that he's doing are very normal for his age; I don't think that they say anything about his future intellect, education, or anything like that. Because you're home educating, I think you've probably got less to worry about than most parents do, and I think that because your older son has such a different personality you may have slightly unrealistic expectations about the way that little boys generally behave. Your second little man reminds me a lot of BeanBean.

SunRayeMomi-- Yes, they're all from Bishojo Senshi SAILORMOON. I'm a *huge* SailorMoon otaku. My goal in life is to one day own all five seasons of Bishojo Senshi Sailormoon on DVD; not the American translations (the early ones sucked, the later ones were better but they still skipped episodes, and the fifth season was never dubbed for American audiences at all and never will be ) but the original Japanese releases. They will be mine, oh yes! They will be mine! Oshioki-yo!
post #617 of 776
Quote:
SunRayeMomi-- Yes, they're all from Bishojo Senshi SAILORMOON. I'm a *huge* SailorMoon otaku. My goal in life is to one day own all five seasons of Bishojo Senshi Sailormoon on DVD; not the American translations (the early ones sucked, the later ones were better but they still skipped episodes, and the fifth season was never dubbed for American audiences at all and never will be ) but the original Japanese releases. They will be mine, oh yes! They will be mine! Oshioki-yo!
Awesome! I have the Japanese versions of SailorMoonR and SailorMoonS Movies on video...got it along time ago and it is sooooo overplayed. I also have a *few* oav episodes on the same tapes, so they are wearing thin as well. I would LOVE to get all the undubbed seasons on DVD as well, but I haven't found them yet seeing as I am not so obsessed with it as I used to be. Back then, I got the videos from people I met on the internet. For now, I stick to the untranslated Manga for the original storyline. I have quite a few graphic novels and I pick them up wherever I can find them. If you EVER do come across any of the DVDs, let me know!
post #618 of 776
Thread Starter 
Should we start a new thread soon? This one is over 650 posts. Just wonderin'.

About the reversing numbers/letters... Nan still has issues with confusing p/d/b/q and writing some numbers backwards sometimes, and she's 7. So I'm sure it's totally normal for a 3yo.

I don't really see people one-upping each other on here, but perhaps I am one of the guilty parties. I've always thought Jenn's son was a cool little guy and I believe I've mention that more than once, so . I hope she finds somewhere she feels more comfortable.

I think there have been a lot of excellent, insightful posts made here in the past few days. It's too bad MDC would sue our butts if we cut and pasted them, because they'd be great web page material. Oh well...
post #619 of 776
Quote:
Originally Posted by SunRayeMomi
Awesome! I have the Japanese versions of SailorMoonR and SailorMoonS Movies on video...got it along time ago and it is sooooo overplayed. I also have a *few* oav episodes on the same tapes, so they are wearing thin as well. I would LOVE to get all the undubbed seasons on DVD as well, but I haven't found them yet seeing as I am not so obsessed with it as I used to be. Back then, I got the videos from people I met on the internet. For now, I stick to the untranslated Manga for the original storyline. I have quite a few graphic novels and I pick them up wherever I can find them. If you EVER do come across any of the DVDs, let me know!
I currently own DVDs of the following:

SailormoonR Movie (Legend of the Rose, I think it's called)
SailormoonS Movie
Sailormoon SuperS Movie
Sailormoon Sailorstars (Season 5 of the series).

I've also got a tape that a friend picked up in Japan with a few episodes of, iirc, SailormoonS in Japanese, undubbed and unsubbed. I bought all my DVDs on eBay.
post #620 of 776
On one-upmanship here...I really don't feel it at all. And I tend to lack self-confidence at times, so I'd be more likely to perceive it where none exists than to ignore it if it's present.
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