Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #6 - Page 35

[FreeSpiritMama]

Our DS also makes up his own languages, its never worried me ( I think its pretty imaginative and cute ) but it does seem to bother other adults at times ~sigh~ He is also very drawn to people speaking other languages and music in other languages.

mamaverdi, funny story. Luckily I know enough Spanish to avoid this issue but it obviously could be a worry!

[jkpmomtoboys]

Originally Posted by teachma

Quick "Jewish" story for anyone who might relate. Last Spring, I remember serving ds his dinner, and he kept saying, "Dayenu" after each scoop of mac and cheese I put on his plate. Finally, I asked, "Why doyou keep saying that?" and he explained, "Well, Dayenu means enough, and you already gave me enough food- I don't want anymore!" (Explanation: As part of the Passover seder readings, there's a part that talks about the miracles of G-d during Jewish enslavement in Egypt, and we say, "If G-d had done X,Y or Z but not A, B, or C, it would have been sufficient. The Hebrew for sufficient/ enough is dayenu). I guess he had learned it iin preschool and wanted to apply it to his life!

Very very funny! Thanks for sharing--it made me LOL!

Happy Thanksgiving all...

[catgirl]

Originally Posted by teachma

Funny story, but I have actually wondered before about the likeliness of this happening. Kind of scary. If we did a Spanish program with ds, though, I'd know enough of the language to understand whether there was any issue like this.

I read once about a Nike add in which a guy in full tribal regalia and Nikes was supposedly saying "just do it!" Only trouble was, someone who happened to know the very obscure African language the guy was speaking saw the ad and wrote to complain that the guy was actually saying, "I don't like these. Give me bigger shoes."

WRT math - we love Shiller math, which is also Montessori based. www.shillermath.com . Very cool manipulatives, and they do quite complicated stuff with them fairly early, so it's interesting and challenging, but manageable because it's concrete.

I never have time to post (I can barely keep up with reading!) but I'm so glad this thread is here. Ditto what everyone has said about bragging etc. I would ask to join the email list but I know I'd never have time to do more than skim. Thanks for being here, anyway!

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by mamaverdi

So a friend of mine in high school was good friends with a foreign exchange student from Israel. A fundamentalist Xian boy had a shirt on with Hebrew words. The Israeli boy says to the Xian boy: "Do you know what your shirt says?"
Xian boy says, "Sure it says 'Jesus is the lamb of G-d.'"
"Um no it doesn't," says the Israeli.
"Yes it does," insisted the xian boy. "We got it from a Xian company, and they should know."
The Israeli boy was then silent, and the other boy left. My friend, who has just witnessed this, asks, "So what did it say?"
Israeli boy responds, "I'm not going to tell you exactly, but it said something not very nice about what Jesus does with sheep."

: You know what's really funny? When you pull stunts like that with English words. I knew a guy who liked to tell people that they were looking "So smegmatic!" : He said that nobody ever picked up on it right away, they'd just say, "hey, thanks!" and go happily along their way.

However, this is why I absolutely refuse to wear t-shirts with languages on them that I do not understand.

Dayenu-- I had a roomate in my first apartment who was Jewish and who did not want to have children (for a variety of reasons; she was engaged and later married to a man from an Evangelical Christian family, had three different varieties of epileptic siezures and the drugs to match, etc, etc.). She said that if she ever did have a child, she'd have to name him "Dayenu Chaim," meaning, "We've had enough life."

[Tracy]

SENG and stuff--kind of that murky stuff with gifted children

Hi, All----

Well these last two weeks have been kind of murder for me as I navigate some bumpy waters at DS's school. Sigh.

DS has behaviors showing up at school that have teacher so frazzled that she asked us to get him a shadow. more sigh.

I finally found a theraputic companion (shadow) and she started last week and she kind of said, "shoot, his behaviors don't look that off to me. but I will do what I can to help".

In the meantime we brought in a child therapist who came to our house last week watched DS just do his life, she hung out with us for 2 hours and then gave us notes on ways we can change things here that will possibly help school. By the way there was plenty of things we were doing that was problematic!! I guess we got Nanny911'ed. ha! But we felt good about it all.

she also saw that DS had some sensory stuff...she was very loose about it, not a huge lable but she said we should get a big Yoga ball and put it in his room so he can roll his whole body on it. She said, kids like DS love to have the pressure on their body. We also are going to get him some ice skating lessons....my girlfriend was the one to recommend that. She said, "your son is like me, we have our antenna up so high it is hard to keep to earth, and it is sort of like 'we check in (our bodies) when we want to.' but if you put him in ice skates, he has to check into his body whether he wants to or not."
Something about that felt right and lo and behold when I mentioned to therapist that was the road we were thinking she said, "ice skating is wonderful for kids who have sensory issues. The weight of the skate feels good on their feet and it does force them to make their brain and body work together."

In the meantime we have also got an appointment scheduled in the books for a developmental pediatrician.

While all of this is going on I naturally am broadening my information and I picked up the book:


Misdiagnosis and Dual Diagnoses of Gifted Children and Adults: ADHD, Bipolar, OCD, Asperger's, Depression, and Other Disorders--


http://bookflash.com/media_room/grea...osis/Index.cfm

I'm sure most of you know about SENG. Supporting Emotional Needs of the Gifted.

I've started to read the book and I see so much of my son in it and when I go to the website for SENG-- again it supports so much of what is happening to my sweet very bright 4 year old son who is just like kids in many ways and so Not like kids in other ways.... big huge sigh.

http://www.sengifted.org/


The overlap of ADDHD and gifted is probably right now our biggest hurdle since some of the behaviors are looking add-ish to the school.......

This has been a ruff go.

I kind of feel bad that every time I post here I bring up the negative side of the Gifted issues.... but I'm new here and these are the things I kind of need help processing...there is plenty I want to brag about to about DS and will try to share more of that too.

bear with me...

hugs and happy thanksgiving.

[Tracy]

A new math item I got...

I just wanted to share I picked up a great new math item for DS.

It is from Lakeshore Learning

and it is See and Solve Manipulative kit.

it is awesome and DS loves it. Take a look:

http://www.lakeshorelearning.com/IWC...2s%3A454ms%3A+




See & Solve Manipulative Kit • WT203 39.95
Our hands-on kit gives students a concrete understanding of numbers and quantities—and makes problem solving a breeze! Students stack beads onto sturdy peg bases to create and solve equations…or use the 4 wooden boxes and laces we’ve included to sort and pattern. With 200 beads and 96 number and operation tiles.

Targets standards in these areas:
• Single digit addition & subtraction
• Simple open math sentences
• Creating & extending patterns
• Problem solving

[Callimom]

Originally Posted by Tracy

"ice skating is wonderful for kids who have sensory issues. The weight of the skate feels good on their feet and it does force them to make their brain and body work together."

Tracy

Swimming is also an excellent activity for sensory issues. It is rhythmic, involves whole body motion and is provides one all body tactile sensation essentially. It can also help with midline cross over issues.

Some other sensory things that can work - swinging (SID kids either seem to love or hate it), teaching kids to walk up the walls with their feet while standing on their heads or hands - again it pushes them 'down' into their bodies. Try white noise and weighted blankets to help him get a good night sleep which can alleviate some of the add type school behaviours.

Sorry you are struggling.

Karen

[mamaverdi]

Ha! Smegmatic.

Okay, having trouble remembering anything in the thread after that.

Oh, Tracy, ask in the special needs forum in particular. There are lots of parents with kids with sensory issues. I remember hearing hippotherapy mentioned: horseback riding with a therapist? Sounded cool. OT would still work with someone his age. Also, Biofeedback. There is a metranome system that works on the principle of biofeedback for AD/HD.

mv

[Tracy]

Thank you, Karenwith4 and mamaverdi--both great replies. The thing is that my own struggle is that when you go to SENG and you read about Gifted children they CAN have issues that can look like ADD etc...but are not necessarily ADD--- and if a child is labled such, and so much effort is made to squash those type of behaviors ---this can also squash the softer, gentler gifted stuff. As they say, "Imagine if Frank Lloyd Wright was not allowed to daydream?"

Personally, I don't think my son has ADD --nor does my family and friends who are around him a lot. but there is something going on with him at school...that sets him off. And the therapist said she can see he has some sensory stuff but she wasn't saying she felt it was SID. (we will get a full evaluation in the next month)

I'm just saying it is kind of hard to navigate these waters where I want my son to just be himself but if some of his school behaviors are signs of other stuff..I am so beaten up that I need to know. what was so striking to me is that his teacher said that Tuesday was a bad day and the shadow said, "Gee that's bad???--what's the deal?"

anyway, more will be revealed in the next few weeks.

[mamaverdi]

Tracy, It sounds like the Shadow will give you a lot of insight into what is going on. Maybe it's a problem with the teacher---sounds like it could be.

My dh has ADD. Very badly. But his mom who is a 4th grade teacher, when he told her of this diagnosis, said, "You do not." After that, I'm strangely leary of, well, non-professional diagnoses. This means teachers as well as relatives.

FWIW, my dh has been tested by 2 neurologists, and I think 4 psychiatrists.... plus one Social Worker. There is a screening test where they ask 100 questions; he scored 99 indicating ADD. But he doesn't have the HD component---though some impulsiveness.

I have to say, having lived with him before treatment and now during treatment, he is more engaged now than he was before. He is also MUCH easier to live with. For one thing, he becomes very depressed and immobilized by the inability to focus. It's not just daydreaming; it becomes paralyzing.

I have said before, and I will say it again, Disorder means Chaos, Lack of Order. When it impedes their ability (within reason) to feel good about themselves or get along with the people around them then something needs to be done about it.

If it's just the teacher that your ds isn't getting along with, well, I say, get a new teacher, change schools, change classrooms, help the teacher get a clue. But if it's most other children, most social situations, etc....something needs to be done earlier, rather than later.

My MIL still denies my dh has ADD. However, I know from listening to his story, had she helped him sooner, instead of living in denial, he would be in a much different place today---like be able to balance a checkbook or ya know, cross the street without getting hit by a car.

Not that you are ignoring your son... I hope you don't think I'm implying that. I'm saying, don't accept unofficial diagnoses; and don't accept official ones that have no proof.

mv

[eilonwy]

When my niece (the one with Asperger's) was younger, she used to strap herself into her carseat to relax. Her OT said that it was very common for children with sensory issues to appreciate that deep, steady pressure.

I've done a fair bit of reading on ADD and ADHD in children and adults (my best friend has severe ADD and has his whole life). It's like mamaverdi said; there's such a huge difference between a kid who's bored stiff (or wiggly!) and a kid who truly can't attend to anything, even when they desperately want to. I've met many, many people who were diagnosed (formally or informally) with ADD, myself included; of all of them, I can only say with confidence that two definately had the problem, and I'd give a third a maybe (but I'm not a liscened clinical shrinkydink or anything, just a geek ). Take my niece: at six she would chat in class, be distracted by little boys pulling her hair (first grade flirting ), shuffle her feet under her desk, tap her pencil, and generally feel uncomfortable in her seat. It all sounds very normal to me (and probably to most of you), but her teacher wanted her on Ritalin because "she's disrupting the class." No, she was bored and she was *six*. Unlike the other black girls in the class, she did not immediately defer to the will of the Big Scary White Lady, so she was dubbed "an issue" and the teacher kept fussing about it.

When she got home, my niece could sit and do the same thing for hours on end-- she would do puzzles with her sister, play games with BeanBean, read books and sing songs with both of them... she was fine! She could set up an imaginary house and develop an intense, thorough fantasy world and keep herself occupied without any fear that she might get bored and start throwing things out of a window or whatever. The problem wasn't that she was *unable* to attend to her teacher, but that she was, for various reasons, *unwilling* to do so. When I home schooled her the following year, I had no trouble at all getting her to complete assignments or helping her to learn things. I noticed that she is something of a kinesthetic learner, which suggests to me that by shuffling her feet and tapping her pencil she was actually making an effort to be *more* attentive to her teacher, but the words coming out of this woman's mouth were booooorrrriiiinnng and, in her six-year-old mind, totally not worth listening to (consciously).

My best friend, by contrast, is literally unable to focus on anything long enough to *talk* about it when he hasn't had his medication (and you can see the stuff wearing off for a full 30 minutes) recently enough. He'll be talking about something and before he's finished the sentence he's forgotten what he was saying and started to throw things out the window, or crack fart jokes, or whatever. Not only is his behavior not age appropriate (he's 26 now) but it's not appropriate for the time or place, nor is it consistant. He can't finish anything, not even a thought. It's horrible, it's truly painful to watch him bounce around when he desperately wants to *finish* something and he just can't. He also loses the ability to filter out what's important and what's not-- like, if someone in class is clicking a pen and the professor is talking and another classmate is periodically kicking their desk, each sound will cause my friend to jump/turn/shift his focus. He can't discriminate between important sounds (the professor talking) and unimportant ones (the sound that his chalk makes on the board). If he remembers anything coming out of the class, it's a bunch of white noise.

They're just totally different things, you know? A child who is bored in school might wiggle and shuffle or even become a loud, boisterous class clown sort but when they come home they're different; they might go into their room and read books for three hours until it's time for dinner. A child with ADD/ADHD may appear to behave the same way in class, but when they get home nothing changes-- they still can't focus on *anything*, even though they may want to very much.

[eilonwy]

Parenting Issues

I was thinking about starting a new thread in Parenting Issues, another spin-off, if you will. Then it occured to me that it might not be appropriate... so I was hoping to get some opinions on it here, first.

[post]
What are we *supposed* to do? (re: gifted infants/toddlers/children)

There have been some threads here discussing giftedness in very young children. Forgetting, for a moment, the highly charged nature of the word "gifted" and the problem of identification, what is the parent of a child who shows remarkable/exceptional abilities at a very young age supposed to do, in your own ideal world? I'll start with an example of a (hypothetical) child:

***
Child L: Despite her complicated, medicated birth, CL was awake and alert from her earlist moments. At two weeks of age, she rolled from her back to her belly and proceeded to wriggle to the edge of her mother's bed; she would have fallen off if her mother had not been paying attention. This was not an accident, and CL continued to roll over and wriggle about, mastering the army crawl ("creeping") by two months of age and finally crawling on hands and knees at four months.

Around the same time, CL uttered her first meaningful word-- her own name. She quickly followed with other important words ("nurzh," "poopy," "baby," etc) which were occasionally slurred but were still easily understandable, not only by her parents but by perfect strangers. By six months, she was stringing two and three words together; she shocked several people in a grocery store by hollering, "L nurzh NOW!"

At nine months, CL was constantly pulling up on furniture to walk around ("cruising") but refused to let go unless she was distracted by something interesting. Everything seemed fascinating, and she could often be found standing next to her toy box examining an object with particular interest. She could look at a picture book for 45 minutes, turning pages, tracing the giant letters, and chatting happily with the pictures. When her mother came in to tell her that it was time for dinner, she would often have a complete meltdown as the book or toy was taken away from her. In a matter of seconds she would change from a calm, relaxed, happy child into a screaming, flailing mass of arms and legs.

On her first birthday, she was walking well and easily, was able to blow out her candle on the first try, and applauded as she exclaimed, "Happy birthday, L!" She talked to her parents and grandparents and sang the alphabet song to them. When she finished opening her presents, she took the wrapping paper to the trash on her own and put it in. Then she played with her new toys and books, one at a time, for the rest of the afternoon, with only a minor meltdown when she was asked if she was ready to be changed and eat dinner.

By 15 months, CL was trying desperately to read but was unable to make the connections. Whenever her mother would sit down to read a book, CL would fly into her face, point to letters and words and demand, "What's this? Read it to me!" With any book at all, if her mother was not reading out loud CL would insist upon it. At 18 months, she asked her mother if the letter "b" always made the same sound in a word; after being told that it generally did, she went through all of her books one at a time pointing out the letter "b" wherever it appeared in words and asking her mother, "What's this one say?" When her mother became tired of this game after two hours, CL had a complete meltdown. Her mother guiltily gave her a dose of tylenol, changed her diaper and nursed her to sleep.

Still, CL learned quickly and easily the sounds that all of the letters made, and was reading phonetically regular words easily and fluently as well as many "sight words" at 22 months. By this time, she was also talking a blue streak to anyone who would stop to listen. By her second birthday, she was able to use the VCR and DVD player on her own. When asked what she wanted for her birthday, she was unable to choose between a princess theme and a space theme. Her parents ended up having a small, Princesses in Space party, which she loved.
***

I'll stop here because the question that I'm asking pertains to young/very young children and infants. What is CL's mother supposed to do? How should she have handled things differently? Would it be totally irrational or unnecessary in your mind to label this child as "gifted?" Perhaps she's just precocious, and her mother "coerced" her into reading so early just by having a lot of books in the house?

Do you really think that it would be fair to CL or her mother to say something like, "Don't worry, by the time she's 8 years old, she'll have evened out and she'll be just like everyone else?" Do you honestly believe that's true?
[/post]

I chose to use a hypothetical highly/profoundly gifted child to illustrate my point, but I could just as easily have done it with BeanBean or BooBah or myself or a family member; would that be better, or worse? I honestly do want opinions on this, I'm just not sure how to ask.

[oldcrunchymom]

Rynna, my guess is that yes, people really do believe that such a child is a little "precocious" and her development will plateau and even out so why call anyone "gifted." I think if you post that, the thread will just turn into one of those "Maybe SOME children MIGHT be called """"gifted"""" [is there a way to emphasize sarcastic quotation marks?], but it doesn't matter because ALL children are gifted, so don't go thinking your kid is special or needs anything different than any other kid, ur so eleetest, that gifted thread is just for parents to lie and brag, blah blah-dee-dah blah." :

I'm feeling cynical and grouchy today. Can you tell?

[UUMom]

My 'smaht' kids need more. Period. They could not manage on the standard american fare of 'regular' programming.

[LeftField]

I'm also cynical. I think that many people would question CL's mother's perception and integrity, asserting that children cannot do X at <insert age>. They would say that CL's mother was analyzing CL too much and focusing on it too much. It's very frustrating that so many people with zero exp with gifted toddlers are suddenly experts on them.

[Tracy]

Not that you are ignoring your son... I hope you don't think I'm implying that. I'm saying, don't accept unofficial diagnoses; and don't accept official ones that have no proof.

No offense taken.

FWIW, my dh has been tested by 2 neurologists, and I think 4 psychiatrists.... plus one Social Worker. There is a screening test where they ask 100 questions; he scored 99 indicating ADD. But he doesn't have the HD component---though some impulsiveness.

Yes, I agree, to make sure we have a proper diagnosis we chose not to go to some centers where they have their evaluators do their check off list. We have opted to go to developmental pedetrician who has an unbelieveably thorough procedure (spread over 3 appointments) --it is going to cost a lot more money but we think it is worth it.

And of course the child therapist has seen him and she was not bowled over by the school's opinion that ds has add-hd, but she bring up some sensory stuff. She'll be going to the school in the next couple of weeks and will be able to assess more. And then we have the shadow who is not as degree'd as the other two.. but she is currently getting her masters in therapy having spent a number of years as a elementary teacher and she said she thought DS's behaviors were not that wildly abnormal and said she felt ds looked bored. sigh. Anyway, as you can see there is all kinds of input coming in. But if indeed there is something more going on, there are a lot of experts to tell us such. And god knows I'm willing to hear it....

by the way---I'm so careful about all of this that my husband and I are not paying for it through our insurance because I want no record of this stuff on DS's record. I don't want any diagnosis attached to his name until I want it attached, if you know what I mean.

[Tracy]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I've done a fair bit of reading on ADD and ADHD in children and adults (my best friend has severe ADD and has his whole life). It's like mamaverdi said; there's such a huge difference between a kid who's bored stiff (or wiggly!) and a kid who truly can't attend to anything, even when they desperately want to. I've met many, many people who were diagnosed (formally or informally) with ADD, myself included; of all of them, I can only say with confidence that two definately had the problem, and I'd give a third a maybe (but I'm not a liscened clinical shrinkydink or anything, just a geek ). Take my niece: at six she would chat in class, be distracted by little boys pulling her hair (first grade flirting ), shuffle her feet under her desk, tap her pencil, and generally feel uncomfortable in her seat. It all sounds very normal to me (and probably to most of you), but her teacher wanted her on Ritalin because "she's disrupting the class." No, she was bored and she was *six*. Unlike the other black girls in the class, she did not immediately defer to the will of the Big Scary White Lady, so she was dubbed "an issue" and the teacher kept fussing about it.

When she got home, my niece could sit and do the same thing for hours on end-- she would do puzzles with her sister, play games with BeanBean, read books and sing songs with both of them... she was fine! She could set up an imaginary house and develop an intense, thorough fantasy world and keep herself occupied without any fear that she might get bored and start throwing things out of a window or whatever. The problem wasn't that she was *unable* to attend to her teacher, but that she was, for various reasons, *unwilling* to do so. When I home schooled her the following year, I had no trouble at all getting her to complete assignments or helping her to learn things. I noticed that she is something of a kinesthetic learner, which suggests to me that by shuffling her feet and tapping her pencil she was actually making an effort to be *more* attentive to her teacher, but the words coming out of this woman's mouth were booooorrrriiiinnng and, in her six-year-old mind, totally not worth listening to (consciously).



They're just totally different things, you know? A child who is bored in school might wiggle and shuffle or even become a loud, boisterous class clown sort but when they come home they're different; they might go into their room and read books for three hours until it's time for dinner. A child with ADD/ADHD may appear to behave the same way in class, but when they get home nothing changes-- they still can't focus on *anything*, even though they may want to very much.

yes, Eilony---my ds can focus quite well at home. Do puzzles, read, write, etc for long periods of time. but at school he is so excitable and his focus is not there. I was shocked when teacher told me it took him forever to do this one simple art project... it was stringing a construction papered cutouts together. a pumpkin, a cat and a bat. I was shocked because this was a boy who on a spontaneous trip to the kids art museum built the most compicated beaded necklace with about 50 small buttons that he picked out of a bin about 1000 buttons. It had the most beautiful pattern that he designed. My mother and I were amazed by his design and his dedication to it.... But at school it took him a long time to build the little construction paper necklace with about 10 cutouts? I was pretty stunned. Teacher would be shocked if I showed her the necklace he made at the museum. I"m positive she thinks he is incapable of that concentration.

your story about your neice is interesting. I'm assuming it is the same niece who was diagnosed with Aspargars who was also diagnosed with ADD who also could sit at home for hours with great concentration, correct?

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by Tracy

your story about your neice is interesting. I'm assuming it is the same niece who was diagnosed with Aspargars who was also diagnosed with ADD who also could sit at home for hours with great concentration, correct?

No, sorry about that! ChibiChibi is the one who's teacher wanted her on Ritalin; she's 8 and in third grade this year. BeastieBeast has Asperger's, she's 5 and in kindergarten. BeastieBeast is capable of focusing but incapable of doing *anything else* while she's focusing on something. Getting her to transition from one thing to another without a strict schedule is extremely difficult. It's not so much focusing with her as it is a complete inability to filter or be flexible... she'll be, say, putting a puzzle together and she'll just keep putting it together and taking it apart over and over and over again, pieces in the same order every time. If you remove a piece, she *FREAKS*; if you interrupt her and put a piece in out of order, she *FREAKS*, and so on and so forth. Talking to her is a lost cause; frequently while she's engaging in such a task, she talks to herself. It's usually a kind of under her breath sing-song thing, sometimes a song that she's heard somewhere and other times just a string of words.

[eilonwy]

Originally Posted by LeftField

I'm also cynical. I think that many people would question CL's mother's perception and integrity, asserting that children cannot do X at <insert age>. They would say that CL's mother was analyzing CL too much and focusing on it too much. It's very frustrating that so many people with zero exp with gifted toddlers are suddenly experts on them.

But I really do want to know-- what are we *supposed* to do? I mean, I thought that the whole point of being an attached parent was to be attuned to your own children and their needs. All of this negative feedback, because apparently just by discussing our kids on an online message board we're "hanging huge labels around their necks" and scarring them for life, we expect too much and we think too highly of our children and ourselves. What the heck? What's the *right* answer? I just want to know-- when my daughter throws a temper tantrum because I want to read my book on my own instead of out loud, and I want a few minutes without her fingers in there asking me to point out letters or pointing out letters on her own, what am I supposed to do? How should I take it? Is she not really interested in reading just because she happens to be 17 months old? Should I avoid reading in her presence, even though every parenting book/story/magazine article about parenting young children advises parents to do just that? Should I stop reading to her at all, even though I'm "supposed" to? I really want to hear someone *say it*. I want them to tell me what to do.

Of course, they shouldn't be terribly shocked when I don't actually take their advice. I'd just like to see it in print.

[loraxc]

Rynna, me too. Seriously, what am I SUPPOSED to do? Do you really want me to discourage my child from what she's interested in? When she asks me, "What does that say?" should I respond with, "You're too young to be asking me that"?

You could, I think, argue that one can respond to the needs of one's child without wondering about giftedness, reading about giftedness, using The Word, etc. And for a child my DD's age (not yet two) I think most of the time that would be okay--for now. Here's the thing, though: I'm a researcher. I'm a reader. I'm a ponderer. I'm a planner. I like to know what I'm dealing with and what I may be dealing with. When I was pregnant, I read 20 billion books about pregnancy and childbirth. I thought a lot about how I wanted my labor to go. I took Bradley clases. I know people who purposely avoided reading almost anything about pregnancy and labor, just as I know people who would not touch a parenting book if you paid them. That's not me, though. To expect me to just be able to sit back and cruise along without noticing or wondering about my child's unusual development (yes, it is unusual, or people wouldn't comment on it all the fricking time to the point where I don't always want to hear it) would be unrealistic. Do I need to decide where my child will go to school now? No, but does the fact that I am thinking about it now make me a pushy, labeling, freak parent? Ennh. I really don't think so.