Addressing the Special Needs of Gifted Children, #6 - Page 5

[EXOLAX]

Hi Ladies! I kind of introduced myself in an earlier message on labels. We have two DD's, our eldest is 4 and our youngest is 15 months. They are both so unique and special it's pretty incredible. It's fun to have a place where one can go and actually post about our children's advacements w/o people looking at us like we are putting on airs.

I've loved looking at the artwork some of your kids have done. I'm fascinated by children's art! I think children's art can be so expressive. I do have some questions for you all though. Our eldest is challenging in that she has the memory of an elaphant. She seems to have a bit of an eidetic memory. Now I think a lot of kids have this, but boy, it seems pretty pronounced in our little girl. So far it seems sound based, if she hears something once it's in her head forever. She's always been that way, making crazy connections since before she could talk (at 14 months old she went over to a fire-hydrant and signed water, though we never could figure out how she knew that. She didn't watch TV and we had never seen on in action in real life, maybe from a book?). But, all parents think their kids are really smart. I did though read somewhere that children can start to loose their capacity for memory around age 5. Does anyone have an references on that?

But, I digress. We recently have begun having some issues with artwork around our house. Our DD sees things in her head one way and tries to draw it, while she has exceptional fine motor skills she can't get it out exactly as it is in her head and this is incredibly frustrating for her. So frustrating in fact that she doesn't want to draw. She's become a perfectionist about it. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to best help her work through this? We've been going to museums with her for years and we talk about how everyone draws, paints, works with clay etc. differently and how all art is unique and seen through different etc.... nothing seems to work though. I feel very sad for her about it because it seems to effect her so deeply.

I don't have anything recent to share as far as her art goes because I do not have much need to scan it in, but here are some from just a few weeks after she turned 3; http://iraq.roothat.com/taji5/tajimywall2.jpg. She was big into writing (still is). And http://iraq.roothat.com/taji5/tajimywall3.jpg (This one has a picture she drew of her Daddy with a bucket, I can't remember what was in and going in the bucket though). She is still big into pottery as well.

I also find how kids obsess on things fascinating. Our eldest is currently obsessed with astronomy. She's big into following the phases of the moon and the earth's shadow and constellations. She looks to the sky almost every night to see if it is clear enough to get out our old telescope. She's also into vowels and 'silly silent e' and likes to find that silly e in the words of books we read. She learned about it last year when she was 3 and we were eating dinner at the 'Life Cafe'. She wanted to read the sign and we sounded out LIFE together and she told me I forgot a letter, the letter e, so I was sitting there having a conversation with our 3 year old about silent e. It was then I started worrying that I couldn't keep up with her. But, she has an imagination that blows my mind away. She went around the rest of the week saying she was a silent e and tried changing the sounds of words around.

Her younger sister has been _obsessed_ with books since just after she turned 1. You can read to her for hours and it still isn't enough. It's about the only time she will sit still too!

I'm interested to hear how others have handled these types of things.

Xaloxe

[LeftField]

Xaloxe,

That is wonderful artwork! Wrt to the perfectionism, I had to go in the other room when ds drew. If I were there, he'd either feel crowded or he'd express frustration that he couldn't do things, etc. I found that if I quietly went off in the other room, that he'd draw and draw. Most of the pictures I posted were drawn when I was in the other room; I had no idea he was doing it. I wonder if that would help?

As for obsessions, my oldest's outer space obsession isn't as strong as it used to be, but it's still present. He's getting into geography, so he loves GoogleEarth and maps. He also loves NASA's interactive planet setup.

He had a body obsession when he was 3. It started out as a bones obsession. We go to the chiropractor's and she was very kind to him, letting him hold her authentic human skull and showing him things on the spine model. Then, he learned about blood vessels and he became very interested in hearts and blood vessels. He drew lots of skeleton pictures and many of people with blood vessels. The most graphic one he drew was of a man with a hole in his torso, his skeleton laying next to him. He was mentally trying to process how they get a real human spine to make chiropractic models on. He still doesn't know about death, but he reasoned that they got it from a person who "doesn't talk anymore". The weird thing with this obession is that he gets incredibly freaked out by human body exhibits and books, even though he's obsessed with it. We once had to leave one, because they put a cowboy hat on their skeleton and it greatly upset him.

He still hasn't gone back to drawing. However, he's really into building toys right now and I think he has a hard time doing both. He really throws himself into things and lives/eats/breathes it, and so I think he has to drop art to do construction. He was very upset at bedtime last night, because he was hoping to make an excavator with his Meccano set. As soon as his little feet hit the floor this morning, he went to the Meccano set and began busily building. He's been there for over an hour. I'm not sure if he's even had breakfast.

[oldcrunchymom]

Xaloxe, about the art frustrations, when my daughter was going through that I showed her studies of some of the art on our walls (Waterhouse). It helped her to see that even great artists don't get it perfect the first time and have to practice first before they make something. It wasn't a cure-all but it did help.

[oldcrunchymom]

Cool, Britishmum! I printed out a certificate for Hollis.

[m&m]

Xaloxe

My oldest dd sounds a lot like yours. Huge memory, early talker and reader, excellent fine motor skills, etc. And she too has a passion for art but gets frustrated with her attempts for it to come out right.

What has helped her is for me and others we know to show her our early works (kid art) as well as to attempt a very complex drawing only to have it not turn out right. Then I would explain to her that with every skill there is a learning curve, and even though gifted people can skip some parts of the curve to jump ahead, they still have to start near the bottom or middle before they can get to the top. There are many books on "How to teach your child to draw" and these show wonderful examples of kid art and its stages. My dd discovered that even though hers aren't where SHE wants them to be - they are well above the norm and she is improving all the time.

The other book my dd loves is called "Ish" by Peter Reynolds. It is about a boy who gives up drawing because his brother critisizes it. By the end he learns that things do not need to look perfect. It doesn't need to look like a vase of flowers, it only needs to be vase-ish.

After all art is an interpretation of your mood, the lighting, etc. not only realism.

I've given my dd many "assignments" from dot drawings, line drawings, tracing, digital photography, etc. She loves all of these. Even playdough has its art days and its just smoosh it days. After all some of these art materials are just FUN.

[jordmoder]

Hello, everyone

I've been lurking off and on for a while. We have two boys, Noah who is 5 and 11/12s, thank you very much and Nathaniel 3 1/3. I've always known that they are bright kids, inquisitive, perceptive, aware ... Noah is an aural learner and will remember EVERYTHING you tell him (and he has a voluminous memory!) and Nathaniel is so quick with his wit.

I guess by way of introduction I'll share some of Noah and my bedtime ramblings. This one last week. Noah: "Mom, what's A-OK mean?" Me: a somewhat long-winded explanation of where the OK came from and that basically A-OK meant in some sense, the best. Noah: "then, Z-NotOK must be the worst." Me: "I suppose you could say so." Noah: "Then, A-NotOk and Z-OK must be the same" Me: "Oh, yeah!" He's in Grade Zero, which is what he calls Kindergarten. Preschool is Negative One (or Negative Two, in the case of his brother) He has refused to stand up for the pledge of allegience (public school public school public school) because he says it's not important, but really it's because he's being told to do something en masse and he is just not a group guy.

Last week Nathaniel and I were in the parking lot at the Farmer's Market and ran into an aquaintance. She commented on his "3-2-1 Blast-off!" T shirt, and shared that when she was a child she had a teacher named Mrs. Rocket, and that her hair was cone shaped. Without a seconds pause, Nathaniel states: "I had a teacher named Mrs. Car and she had wheels on her head!" and then, because we were standing next to a bin of corn he went on to "Mrs. Corn who had bumps (kernals) all over her body"

We moved back to the small town where Noah was born so he could "start" school here - although it's small (5000+) there is a goodly population of enlightened people. I had always thought that we would homeschool - I've agonized for years over what his experience in public school would be like - but he and I are so much alike that I haven't been convinced I would be able to be his best teacher. And his kindergarten teacher is a friend of mine, and AWESOME and yet and yet and yet I already know that he is going to be sooooooo bored and I don't know what quite to do.

Whew! this was a book, sorry! but when I tell people about the conversations Noah and I have they look at me like I have three not just two heads and it's good to share with people who will just laugh knowingly.

Oh, yeah - Noah is 3 1/2 and just self-toilet trained. He is fascinated by the availability of his penis. We're driving on the highway and a convertible goes by. He says: "A convertible is something that changes, right?" "Yes" I acknowledge. He says with GREAT glee "My penis is a convertible!!" I just about ran off the road I was laughing so hard.

thanks for listening

Barbara, tired, but exceptionally grateful mama

[mcsarahb]

*

[CAmomto1]

Originally Posted by m&m

The other book my dd loves is called "Ish" by Peter Reynolds. It is about a boy who gives up drawing because his brother critisizes it. By the end he learns that things do not need to look perfect. It doesn't need to look like a vase of flowers, it only needs to be vase-ish.

Thanks for the book suggestion - my DD has a pretty strong perfectionism streak in her (three guesses if anyone else in her family has it too ), and this sounds like something that might be good for me to look for in the library.

[supervee]

oh, bless your hearts for commiseration and the recommendation for the book called Ish. I will find this book. We were just in tears here this morning over this.

[BoyGirlTwinsAPMama]

Originally Posted by jordmoder

"A convertible is something that changes, right?" "Yes" I acknowledge. He says with GREAT glee "My penis is a convertible!!"
Barbara,

Absolutely adorable stories about your boys! Thanks for sharing!

About the mother whose dd is a perfectionist and can't draw what she wants to, I just want to say that soooo many artists are the same way as adults too. Picasso threw away more paintings than what he showed b/c they weren't good enough in his opinion, and there are many other masters who did the same thing. Perhaps after much practice and sketches and trials she will be able to put what is in her mind onto the paper/board/canvas/whatever medium she wants to work in, and perhaps not. But is there any way she can accept her limitations as such and then work with what talent she has now? The process of art is just as important as the final piece. Are you able to teach your dd that the *process* is important, not just the finished product or the accolades from same? I feel that if an artist can enjoy the process and not *judge* the product, then she will learn a great lesson for her lifetime and enjoy her creativitymore. Living with and growing up in a family of and being a tortured artist, I share with you my personal life's lesson.

[eilonwy]

I just finished reading a book called Gifted Children: Myths and Realities by Ellen Winner (maybe Eilleen, but I think it was Ellen). I really enjoyed it, although I think some of it was totally outrageous. For example: it's been widely found that "gifted children are either first-born or only children." I really have to take issue with that-- I've met way too many gifted children who had lots of siblings or who weren't first-borns. I've also met lots of gifted siblings, and heard tell of even more. It really makes me wonder what criteria these studies are using for "gifted," and whether or not they bothered to test siblings. It's either entirely wrong, regardless of all the studies "proving" it to be true, or my family and every other family I've ever met is entirely anomalous-- which leads me to another line of thought: is there, perhaps, something about the gene package that certain people carry relating to giftedness which predicts heritability or lack thereof? Maybe my mother just has a particularly "heritable" sort of giftedness, which would cause her to have five children, every one of whom would qualify as gifted in the overwhelming majority of those studies? Who knows? What I know is this: I might count as a first-born for those studies, but I probably wouldn't because my next sibling is only ten months younger than I am (thus, I didn't recieve any of the benefits of being a first-born, because my mother was pregnant from the time I was 5 weeks old). It just seems totally crazy to me.

It was a fun read, though. They talked about craziness and stressful childhoods, and she brought up a really fascinating theory about testosterone exposure in utero and spatial abilities. Of course it was one more way in which I, personally, am anomalous, but it's all good-- I'm used to being a freak. :LOL

[EXOLAX]

Art and Constellations: books

Thanks so much for all of the replies regarding our DD's perfectionism toward her art. This board has proven to be a great resource! I'm so excited! There were so many responses I'm just going to touch on a couple here.

Someone suggested to have DD do art alone. As soon as I read that it rang so many bells in my head it made my ears ring! DD loves to draw in the car and we don't have the issues then. This had not even dawned on me! We are going to try working on that in the house, with us quietly leaving the room when she begins to work on an art project of any kind. The implications are a little unsettling though.

We have come up with a few other ideas as well. We've been taking DD to our local art museum since she was one and we plan to go back this weekend but we will focus on looking at the differences of specific items (say a tree) from painting to painting, and artist to artist. We've also been talking about putting on our own children's art show with some of her friends here at the house. This was her idea and I was a little concerned at first because I thought she might put too much pressure on herself, but she seems to be too excited by the idea to care. We'll have to see.

Ok, who suggested the book "Ish"? (I'm too busy typing to go back and look ) DH picked this up today and I must say that independently of each other this book made both of us weepy! DH read it to DD tonight and when I came into the room later she said "Mom, I learned something new from this book. You can draw something the same, but different, and it's still beautiful". I can't tell you how many times we have told her that same thing (not near as simplistically mind you) but just reading it once spurred this comment.

DH also took his time at the book store and read another book by the same author called "The Dot" and he brought it home as well. This is such a sweet book and fits right in theme! It's about a little girl in an art class who at the end of the day still has a blank canvas because she doesn't feel her art would be 'good enough'. The teacher tells her to just make a mark on the paper and the girl makes a dot, then the teacher tells her to sign it. The next class the girl walks in and sees her 'dot' framed up on the wall and decides she could make a better dot. In the end she has all kind of dot and dot free paintings on display and a little boy tells her he wishes he could be an artist too but he can't even draw a straight line. The little girl tells him to try and he makes a squiggly line on a piece of paper, she then tells him to sign it. So beautiful!!!

On another note for those constellations junkies out there DH also picked up a copy of "The Zoo in the Sky" which is all about animal constellations.

Just yesterday DD came up to me and asked me to draw a tree for her because (and here is what she said to me): "My tree wouldn't be good enough, and that would break my heart. I don't want my heart to break.". Later DH told me they were in the same room together and she kept drawing trees. She showed one to him and asked him to help her because she wanted to draw a tree for me and "it just wasn't right". She told him "I want it to be beautiful for mama, and my tree isn't beautiful". After hearing this I asked her later if I could see the tree she originally drew for me. She went and got it. It had a big trunk, and a bushy green top, but right in the middle of the trunk was a big heart all colored in red. It was so "beautiful", it about broke my heart.

[LeftField]

Rynna,

I read that book a few months back, rather I read parts of it. I also had some issues with it. My big issue with it was that she seems to say that precocious art ability demonstrates advanced spatial reasoning, but is completely independent of intelligence, because some "savants" draw incredibly well. Early studies on IQ did not reveal advanced artistic abilities, so she seems to conclude that artistic giftedness has nothing to do with intelliegence at all. I hashed some of this out on another list and got some wonderful insight from other people.

I still can't swallow that, that a person who understood perspective and occlusion et al at a very young age is likely a person of average IQ. Of course, it makes you think about what IQ is and if it actually represents intelligence well. Traditionally, visual-spatial children don't usually excel in school and many famous VS types (Edison) were thought to be "stupid". I think that the advanced spatial reasoning that is invoked in art and construction must be a facet of intelligence, but perhaps one that is not as valued in society or one that is not tested well.

I was a bit biased, close to the issue, because my son is a stereotypical VS learner and he was demonstrating artistic concepts at 3 that a typical 9 yo discovers (or so says the art analysis articles I read). He doesn't read or demonstrated some of the common gifted academic traits, but that was his area. So I felt like she was suggesting he could have an IQ of 100 or something, when his spatial abilities were way out there. I just couldn't reconcile what she was suggesting with what we've experienced. It's not that I'm so invested in "giftedness"; we homeschool and we'll never be dealing with gifted programs or recognition. But it didn't jive with what I was seeing.

I think that the general conclusion that most people on that other list came to was that precocious artistic ability can be independent of IQ, but often goes along with high IQ. It was like a chicken and egg question. Where does the art ability come from? Does it come first, i.e. exist on its own, like a talent? Or is it an expression of advanced mental reasoning? In the case of the latter, the precocious drawer may not come to be unusually artistic as an adult or older child, but as a small child, it appears that way due to the advanced spatial reasoning. In other words, it can often just be a "sympton" on giftedness that stands out at an early age, but then other kids catch up at a later age.

Anyway, apparently Winner is married to Howard Gardener, the 7 intelligences guy.

Her thing about first children and giftedness, that is thought-provoking. I'm thinking of the informal study by Linda Silverman (did I read it here?) about second children. They asked the parents of gifted first-borns (first-borns are most commonly identified at a much higher rate) to bring in their "non-gifted" second-borns. Apparently, the "non-gifted" siblings were within 5 IQ points of their gifted older sibling. Based on birth order issues, first-borns and onlies seem to shine more and do things that command attention and lead to accurate identification. But second-borns et al are not as attention-seeking in the same way as the oldest and perhaps the parents don't have as much time with the younger children.

The other thing that seemed weird about that book was that her examples were way out there in many cases. Like, in the art section, I was really wowed by this one series of art by a young child. That young child was Picasso! Sure, great, relevant example in the artistic gifted section. :LOL

[LeftField]

Originally Posted by xaloxe

Someone suggested to have DD do art alone. As soon as I read that it rang so many bells in my head it made my ears ring! DD loves to draw in the car and we don't have the issues then. This had not even dawned on me! We are going to try working on that in the house, with us quietly leaving the room when she begins to work on an art project of any kind. The implications are a little unsettling though.

*hugs* I don't think the implications have to be unsettling. Here are two separate examples of company affecting my son's drawing. In the first example, just me being in the room somehow crowds him. I don't say much to him or try to direct him in anyway, so I'm not sure why he needs to be alone. But then I think of how I like to be in my own space when I read or even when I do housework. For some reason, I cannot concentrate on decluttering when dh is around, even though he's not talking to me or bugging me. I just feel like I need to be alone. So that's the analogy I made wrt my son, although I do admit that I sometimes commented on what he was doing, to which he might huffily say that he wasn't done yet.

The second example is one from my ILs. When we stayed with them recently, they were so excited about ds1's love of art. MIL works in an elementary school and FIL loves to do watercolors. So they would give ds1 blank paper and sit down with him and ask him what he would make, give suggestions, draw things for him, etc. I didn't really see this going on and figure it out until later, when no one could figure out why ds1 was boycotting drawing. One day, I asked him if he wanted to draw and I suggested he go in the other room and close the door. He said something along the lines of people were talking to him when he drew and "bugging" him and that I would have to tell them to leave him alone. So, that's a different kind of example.

It doesn't have to be example number 2. It can simply be a case of example 1, that being in the company of others (even silent others) makes her feel a bit inhibited. I'm not an artist, but I do my best work when I can lock myself up somewhere and be completely away from people.

I take ds1 to the art museum too, although I've only been taking him since he was 3. We really enjoy it and it's fun to see all the different things that constitute art.

Wrt to the art show, we made an online "art gallery" for the grandparents and general family, because ds1 loved the museum so much and wanted to be an artist for a while (now, he wants to work in Home Depot :LOL ). He was very upset at the thought of the museum keeping his art, even for money, so I thought it would be fun to make a virtual museum for him. Like you, I was a bit worried that it would be looming pressure or something, but it hasn't done that. He gets a kick out of his "art gallery" and when I recently started one for ds2, he was very pleased that someone else had one too.

I think Susan Striker is the one who suggested framing and hanging some of your child's artwork. I bought a larger frame and I've been meaning to have hm pick out his favorite large drawing for us to hang. I need to get some smaller frames too. Normally, I might worry that this would also come across as pressure, but she insists that it's good for their self-esteem. Plus, ds1 kept asking to hang his drawings on our wall, picking out spots on various walls and asking how he could decorate our house.

Uh oh. I need to go check on the kids.

[luvmypoonchkie]

Originally Posted by LeftField

Rynna,

I read that book a few months back, rather I read parts of it. I also had some issues with it. My big issue with it was that she seems to say that precocious art ability demonstrates advanced spatial reasoning, but is completely independent of intelligence, because some "savants" draw incredibly well. Early studies on IQ did not reveal advanced artistic abilities, so she seems to conclude that artistic giftedness has nothing to do with intelliegence at all.

Her reasoning doesn't make much sense. Sure some savants draw well, some savants also have an incredible mind for math, dates or music, which are all possible signs of giftedness in young children as well. If we begin to rule out the areas that savants have shown affinity for then we'd have to rule out many of the "indicators" on the lists. I read a book called "To Be Young and Gifted" which actually cited several studies that concluded advanced spatial reasoning abilities (puzzles, early ability to draw) among the most reliable and common traits of giftedness in early children. I do think if the ability to draw at a young age is the ONLY indication of possible giftedness, then it may just be a talent, not neccesarily an indicator of giftedness.

Jenn

[Daffodil]

Originally Posted by eilonwy

I might count as a first-born for those studies, but I probably wouldn't because my next sibling is only ten months younger than I am (thus, I didn't recieve any of the benefits of being a first-born, because my mother was pregnant from the time I was 5 weeks old).

Actually, there's one possible benefit you might have gotten - more essential fatty acids from your mother. A while back I came across this web page, which has this to say:

So during pregnancy and breastfeeding the mother gets depleted of essential fatty acids, especially the omega-3 fatty acids. Each child gets less EFAs than the previous child, depleting the mother even further, UNLESS the mother augments her diet with EFAs, like flax oil and oily fish.

This depletion of the mother's EFA stores for baby's brain building can explain why younger children have more developmental and behavioral problems than older children, especially if the chilren are born close together.

I have no idea whether this statement is backed up at all by any scientific evidence, but it does seem to make sense. There were four kids in my family, all of whom would be considered gifted. The first 3 of us had IQ tests in 3rd grade, and as I recall, the oldest (me) had the highest score, the second was slightly lower, and the third was slightly lower still (but all were really pretty close.) EFA's, attention from our mother, random chance - who knows?

[OTMomma]

The birth order thing is interesting. When we were in school- my younger brother (by 2 years) was identified as gifted. I wasn't even tested at all. Though I will say I never felt less intelligent than he was- it was weird.

Just wondering- How much do you support/encourage/push your gifted child?
I've struggled with this question in my own home a lot. My dh was pushed very hard as a child and I think it contributed to him developing depression as a small child. As a result we don't Push at all, to the point where i wonder if I encourage my dd enough. We have puzzels, games and books. I read to dd all she wants, if she wants to learn more about something, we go to the library and get books on it. But I rarely offer instruction on something unless she shows interest first. I guess I"m unschooling, sort of. Wondering what other parents do.

Laura

[ChristaN]

Originally Posted by Daffodil

I have no idea whether this statement is backed up at all by any scientific evidence, but it does seem to make sense. There were four kids in my family, all of whom would be considered gifted. The first 3 of us had IQ tests in 3rd grade, and as I recall, the oldest (me) had the highest score, the second was slightly lower, and the third was slightly lower still (but all were really pretty close.) EFA's, attention from our mother, random chance - who knows?

I have wondered about the nutrition thing. I am very good about eating well now -- no hydrogenated oils, flax seeds, whole grains, organic, etc. However, I had been suffering from an eating disorder for 10 years prior to conceiving dd #1. I had been recovered for maybe a year when I got pg with her and would have to imagine that my reserves were depleted. I ate reasonably well during pregnancy (lots of veggies and legumes) however, not nearly as well as I eat now.

I got pg w/ dd#2 when dd#1 was 16 months old & I nursed throughout most of my pregnancy and took no prenatal vitamins . I don't know if they would have been super scary geniuses if I had done more nutritionally, but something must have been enough b/c the are both really bright. Dd#1 in particular exhibits so many signs of "giftedness" that I have no doubt about it (that and confirmation from her school).

Not to discount the theory b/c it really does make sense; I just wonder if there are other things that play a strong role in determining a child's IQ and may be even more important than nutrition (I know that genes are part of it).

[EXOLAX]

Giftedness in siblings

Giftedness in siblings:

I haven't read any studies on giftedness in families or the likelihood of siblings being gifted. But I did read an interesting piece in another book on critical thinking traits in siblings. In "Why People Believe Weird Things" the author discusses how birth order effects ones tendencies toward critical thinking. He cites studies that have determined that 2nd and subesequent children have a predisposition toward thinking critically (not that first borns can't be critical thinkers, but that birth order environment has an effect on it). The assumption here is that first borns get more individualised attention before their siblings are born, and subsequent children have a tendency to be more independent because of the divided attention. The independence opens them up to more experiences where they can learn through trial and error and on their own w/o direct influence from a parent. They also have the added benefit of an older sibling to watch and learn from. So, there's one way in which 2nd+ borns may have an advantage (so we aren't all looking pityingly at our second+ children ).

Also in defense of birth order and subsequent children: I think 2nd+ borns are thrown into a different world then first borns. This is true for us atleast. Our 15 month old has entirely unique experiences then her sister did and in part because of her. She witnesses lots of different activites and at a young age has been exposed to more counting, writing, reading activities then her sister was, but also because of her. I have an older sister and in school I had to be given different reading assignments because I had read all of the books already because my older sister had them around. The environment changes with birth order and so does exposure. I choose to see this as a benefit.

I really don't want to get caught in a comparison game with our kids (not that anyone here is doing that, I just get a sense one could easily fall into that with all of these cited studies). Every family and child is and will be unique. I like to embrace our children's differences. I am sure our youngest will be a smart child and will offer different challenges. This is in part why I hate labels. I don't think I've ever vocalised that our oldest is 'gifted' partially because I don't want her stuck in a label with random expectations (No, she's not composing symphonies at age 4).

[EXOLAX]

Originally Posted by OTMomma

Just wondering- How much do you support/encourage/push your gifted child?
I've struggled with this question in my own home a lot. My dh was pushed very hard as a child and I think it contributed to him developing depression as a small child. As a result we don't Push at all, to the point where i wonder if I encourage my dd enough. We have puzzels, games and books. I read to dd all she wants, if she wants to learn more about something, we go to the library and get books on it. But I rarely offer instruction on something unless she shows interest first. I guess I"m unschooling, sort of. Wondering what other parents do.

We don't push our children at all. One could say we 'unschool' but we do a more Interest-initiated learning approach (akin to RE method of educating). We don't flash-card or do anything of that sort but we talk a lot about what we are doing and what's happening and why (though as I've said before DH laughs at me when she was little and I would put on her shoes telling her which foot and what color the shoes were etc. - he'd do his trademark "*cough* *flashcards*"). We question our DD to come up with answers on her own and we basically follow her lead. If she is interested in something, we run with it until she doesn't show an interest anymore.

Not sure how old your children are but when she was younger and obsessed with the museum we'd print out art we saw in the museum and put it up on her wall in her room. She was into colors and mixing so we'd collect fruits and plants and mix them up in pots to see what we got etc., we'd do the same with finger paints. Now she's 4 and we can get more indepth with her just following her lead. She's into vowels so we made up a vowel song, we look at words and pick out the vowels, we change the vowels in words to see how different they sound etc. But these are all games and things she wants to do. I'm sure soon she will move onto the next thing and we will just go with that.