How old is too old? - Page 6

[New Moon]

I nursed my ds until 18 months...I was 5 months pg at the time and just had to stop. Sometimes I wish I had continued but...oh, well. Dd is 4 1/2 and still going, probably 1-3 times a day. Granted its a tiny snack, but she still tells me how much she loves it. I even went away for two weeks and when I came back she picked it right up again, lol Its lovely to find other 4/5 yr nursers here. I cant imagine forcing her to stop, so it just keeps going on. Which is fine with me.
Hugs,
New Moon

[Anna Trueblood]

News of the Weird?

At http://www.newsoftheweird.com/archive/index.html the folks at News of the Weird have apparently decided that extended bfing is weird.

Thanks, Chuck for stigmatizing the best food a mother can make for her child.

[Greaseball]

I'd be curious to know who voted for "anti-breastfeeding." Are there really those like that here on Mothering?

It was probably a troll. Maybe a teenage boy.

[mother_sunshine]

I think it was probably a troll. Luckily we don't get them here very often... They come around regularly on another EN/EB board.

[respondentmother01]

Wow--I made "News of the Weird" twice?? Can't find it this time, and I even did a keyword search...

Let's try to give this a positive spin--maybe Chuck thinks it's weird that the prosecutor has so much spare time on his hands that I can be dragged back to court a second time for breaking a law that doesn't even exist!

Lynn

[mother_sunshine]

I guess if we think about it Lynn, a woman wearing a bathing suit was once considered weird...or a woman showing skin at all...or a woman dancing or having other freedoms...or the thought of a woman voting, going to work, having only one child...the list goes on. Those are things that were once considered "weird" until the doors were opened and more women made their voices heard regardless of the social outcome (being shamed or mocked by the media etc).
My point is that you have helped open the heavy doors for a change in society's views regarding extended nursing and I can't help but thank you for that.

Aloha,

Michelle (w/my 5yo nursling)

[daisysmom]

This is a no-brainer. If they want it, give it to them. It has how many benefits...? Why do people even question how long to bf or even whether or not to even start?

I love nursing my daughter (12 mos) and so look forward to having another. I know tandem is hard, everyone has a different suck, but it is so worth it.

[Juana]

I just read some info. on this book The Nursing Mother's Guide to WeaningThe Nursing Mother's Guide to Weaning by Kathleen Huggins and Linda Ziedrich. They explain the history of nursing and the weaning age for children in different cultures. Seems like nursing has been interfered by physicians, social norms, and false information for a long time in the aspect of giving babies milk other than their mothers. This has been going on since like the Middle Ages. Anyhow, there is even mentioned weaning age up till 15 years. Wow! I voted that children should lead the weaning. But when there is change in routine, there may be a leading the child to weaning like going back to work or something. Something that can just happen.

[Loretta]

I'm presently nursing a 20 month old and will continue until we're ready to stop. I nursed 'til 5 1/2, 5 1/2 and 5 because they wanted to. At times, I found it frustrating but most of the time realized that it wasn't breastfeeding that was frustrating, it was being overwhelmed (as it sometimes can be with small children). I rarely talk about nursing a child of that age because (and perhaps it's unfounded) I have the fear that someone who doesn't understand it will report me to Child Services. I have heard stories of this and it sounds like a nightmare to me - one that I would prefer to avoid.

One of the things I do say, when the subject comes up, is that according to the UN, the average age of weaning, world-wide, is age 4 and someone's got to keep the average up there!

One of my lovely daughters, at age 8, once asked me if she could nurse. I took one look at her mouth, full of adult teeth, and gently said, "Not with those teeth" - she laughed and laughed. None of the older kids admit to remembering nursing which I find funny...

[LittlebitsMommy]

I am nursing a 35 month old and we don't plan on stopping anytime soon.I think nursing is wonderful.And as long as it is working for the baby(or child) and the mom that is all that matters.

[veganmamma]

I voted child led. Nursing to puberty is common amongst all primates.
Lauren

[Ruth]

I know I have posted before here. But, I am happy to say, my dd will be 5 Friday and we are still a nursing couple. She nurses mostly at night. Sometimes she will nurse in the day so "there will be milk for tomorrow!" (her words).

[Miss Kitty]

I just saw a mom on Dr. Phil nursing her 8 year old. I totally agreed with what he said to that mother - an 8 year old still demanding to be breastfed has not been taught limits.
IMO breast feeding into school age is not for nutrition factors, it is more of an emotional issue that probably should be addressed in other ways.

[mother_sunshine]

Miss Kitty,

Here's a good link that can help you understand that extended breastfeeding isn't all about nutrition...

http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...ebMar98p3.html

For many people it is difficult to understand true child-led or child-respectful weaning unless they have actually been there, but hopefully a little education can help open society's mind.


(edited because I felt that my original post was a bit too harsh for this forum, sorry everyone)

[Ruth]

I agree that an older nursling DEMANDING that the mother nurse her or him or the mother DEMANDING that the older child nurse is bad. But if it is mutual desire of the nursing couple, I think it is good, no, I think it is great.

[tessamami]

Originally posted by Precious
In the meantime, please encorage anyone who breastfeeds at all! no matter what the length. I know a few people who said they had no intention of BF at all. I'm saddened that, that kind of thinking still exists.

My original question that I came to this site to seek help with was "How much damage am I doing to my child by parent weaning her" I get the feeling though the concensus from the majority would be "Alot".

Yep, I agree we should be positive about any length of BF.

I don't personally think your desire for parent led weaning is wrong. I have said this to a previous poster on Mothering that sometimes even the most caring, patient mothers of older nurslings decide that the nursing relationship must end. We see this in the animal world AKA "natural world" where a cat or dog or monkey is "irritated" with an older nursling. I don't think that parent led weaning is wrong or "unnatural". Hey, it's a personal thing, ya know?

I have seen many other, similar posts where others also agree that there is a time to all things, including a time to wean.

[Greaseball]

Well, the mother nursing the 8-year-old (she is a member of this board, BTW) sure has my congratulations!

I think it's far worse to never bf a child, or to only bf them for a "socially acceptable" amount of time than to do it "too much."

In my current situation bf is rarely about nutrition. My dd has been eating solids several times a day since she was 5 months, and now she is 14 months and we only nurse twice a day. It stopped being the bulk of her diet and nutrition long ago, but that's no reason to wean!

She learned to walk as well, but that is no reason for me to stop carrying her...

Also, you don't have to worry that your child will be teased at school if you never send them to school...

[Firemom]

She's also an LC!

I practiced child led weaning and my dd weaned when she wanted at 5.8 years. I don't think at that age she was demanding, no one at school knew she even nursed, like the above poster mentioned.

The Dr Phil show didn't show to much of the 2 days he spent at this moms house with her children. I think Dr Phil wanted to make himself look good for the camera.

[TigerTail]

i couldn't vote, lol... y'all cut off off at 5
philosophically, i am sorta with the 'whenever, child-led weaning' pov- but frankly, by 7 (with my dd), I had had enough & gently discouraged it. i think by 7 that's not too cruel, do y'all?

suse

oh hey, lynn! i am so impressed- you have finally beaten my record here I think, lol. Good for you! (But I've got two more nurslings now. mwa ha ha... I don't know, those boys surely do love their 'do', we'll see in a few years!) Keep on sucklin'!

[zo's ma]

My ds turns 4 on Thursday and I'm also nursing dd who's 9m. About six months ago or so DS said he'd stop nursing when he turned 4, fast forwrd to a few weeks ago when we started talking about his b-day. He's decided he'll nurse until he's 10 ....I figure because 10 seems SO far away.

DH is pretty supportive although he does ask him when he's gonna quit drinking *ninnies* DH is very pro-bf tho so he's not really serious/or pushing it.

I think a big reason ds is not ready to quit is because it gives him special time with dd...kinda cheesy but I really believe it.

We don't talk about it but most people we *know* know that ds still nurses, some are very supportive and others just know to keep their mouths shut,