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For those of us expecting boys (or surprises)

post #1 of 42
8/19/05 at 6:23pm
Thread Starter 
Since we are all so close to having our babies, I wanted to talk about something that is very important to your new little boy: circumcision. I don't know if you have thought about it or not, but if you haven't, you need to. Circumcision is an unnecessary, harmful and painful cosmetic surgery that your little boy does not need. There is a great forum here on MDC (http://www.mothering.com/discussions...splay.php?f=44) where you can go to get more information.

I know when I was pregnant with my first child I assumed we would have him circumcised - I didn't even know there was any other option. Luckily I stumbled across some information on the internet and we did not circumcise him. Now that I know what circumcision really is, I am so glad we did not. There are plenty of people who have testified in the circumcision forum about how much they regret circumcising their sons. Please, if you have not already, check it out.
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post #2 of 42
8/19/05 at 7:29pm
This is such an odd conversation to me because there was no question in my mind about circumcising DS1 or DS2 -- it just wasn't ever going to happen. (Fortunately, DH agreed with me, as he does on most of the important things.)

I don't know if the circ rate is lower in Canada but I do know that it's not a standard procedure here. They won't do it in the hospital unless you pay extra $$$ and often they make you bring in your own doctor to do it. And I don't think that the extra $$$ for the procedure is covered by medical insurance. (Might depend on the kind of extended coverage you have.)

So there are quite a few roadblocks here in this country, which means that the default seems to be not to get it done.
post #3 of 42
8/19/05 at 7:33pm
I totally agree with you!! I'm glad I had three girls before my boy so I didn't make a mistake that I would regret for a very long time. I'm so happy I didn't do it, and I imagine my son will be very happy I didn't either.
post #4 of 42
8/19/05 at 8:24pm
We're definately no-circers! DS1 is not circed, this one will not be either. (DH is...but we quickly shot down the "he won't look like his daddy" arguement).
post #5 of 42
8/19/05 at 8:38pm
No-circers here too. Just don't see any point in doing so! It took me a while to convince DH not to (he tried that whole "I want him to look like me" argument) but I showed him that Penn and Teller thing that was on Showtime a few months ago, and that sealed the deal with him. He had no clue how the procedure was actually done, and didn't want his little boy to go through that!
post #6 of 42
8/19/05 at 8:50pm
Not even a thought in this household. DH is not circ'd, : , he is European and none of my brothers, dad or uncles are since I am Puerto Rican and that is not routinely done in PR either.

My 2 long term relationships (DH & 1 other) were both intact men, I don't think I could have married a circ'd man, that's just me.

Let the decision be theirs, save yourself the trouble of having to deal with a wound (that you may later regret) in a newborn.

Thanks for posting this Galatea!
post #7 of 42
8/19/05 at 9:40pm
Neither of my boys are circ'd and this one won't be either. And we're Jewish. I don't think anyone should have the right to permanently alter someone's body without their consent. I mean, most people would agree that tatooing a baby is very wrong, but I think circumcision is worse because not only does it permanently alter what they look like, but it also affects the funtioning of what most men would consider their most important body part.
post #8 of 42
8/19/05 at 9:47pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by wenat
This is such an odd conversation to me because there was no question in my mind about circumcising DS1 or DS2 -- it just wasn't ever going to happen. (Fortunately, DH agreed with me, as he does on most of the important things.)

I don't know if the circ rate is lower in Canada but I do know that it's not a standard procedure here. They won't do it in the hospital unless you pay extra $$$ and often they make you bring in your own doctor to do it. And I don't think that the extra $$$ for the procedure is covered by medical insurance. (Might depend on the kind of extended coverage you have.)

So there are quite a few roadblocks here in this country, which means that the default seems to be not to get it done.
We are a little more backward about it here in the US. : I think we are the only country where it is routinely done for non-religious reasons. All my little nephews on my DP's side of the family are circumsized. And a coworker friend of mine said they were having it done to their son for "social reasons".

My DS was born in a hospital and several staff members very cavelierly said "okay, now you need to fill out the circ consent sheet," or "oh, you forgot to sign the circ consent sheet." They were fine with it when we declined, but a little surprised. When our midwife found out she said "Fortier (the OB she worked with) is going to love you--he hates doing that!" The fact that everyone at the hospital acted like circumsion was the norm made me so sad!!!!
post #9 of 42
8/19/05 at 10:05pm
Yeah, I was asked 3 times in the 24 hours we (ds2) spent in the hospital and then his ped offered to do it for at least 4 mos every time we saw him. But at least he didn't mess with it.

But on a brighter note, the hospital I had ds1 in was great! I didn't want it done, but his dad (jerk!) kept asking about it. Finally the ped came in when he was there and told him that he'd never find a ped to do it, it was unnecessary cosmetic surgery, and most of the peds in that town refused to do them. That shut xp up finally! LOL! I sure miss that town!
post #10 of 42
8/19/05 at 11:14pm
Thanks for bringing this up. Ds is intact and if this baby is a boy he will get to keep his whole penis too. Dh and I were clueless when we were expecting #1 and dh was all for circ. Once we did some research on circumcision we realized that it is nothing more than cosmetic surgery performed on a newborns genitals. How creepy! Not to mention the fact that it alters the way a healthy normal penis functions. So another family of intactivists was born.
post #11 of 42
8/20/05 at 1:04am
We came so close (the appointment day!!!). DH finally did the research I'd been begging him to do and he called to cancel. I was in tears. It freaks me out that we came so close, but he's 3 now and perfect.
post #12 of 42
8/20/05 at 1:39am
Probably not having a boy, but any boychildren in our future are going to be intact 'till they're old enough to decide to bodymod on their own.

My husband is uncirc'd, actually, and he's from this country. Of course, he was also a planned (though very illegal) midwife-attended homebirth. So he's totally supportive of all my plans for natural birth . Actually, he thinks it's a bit odd that we'll be birthing in a hospital; it's so much not the natural place for it to him.

Oh, also, for the record- he was never, ever, ever concerned about the fact that his penis looked different than his father's. He says, he only saw it when he was a little boy, and there were way more noticable differences than the foreskin thing.

Julia
post #13 of 42
8/20/05 at 2:01am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalirush
Oh, also, for the record- he was never, ever, ever concerned about the fact that his penis looked different than his father's.
My DH is also intact, and he's from the US. He said the same sort of thing about comparing himself. DH says there wasn't much opportunity to compare himself with his father, anyway, but it didn't occur to him. DH was a little uncomfortable around other boys in middle school (an awkward time anyway), but that was all over by the time he was in high school, and we're both grateful that he's intact.

Neither of us ever considered genital mutilation an option. If we have a son, he will definately be intact.

ATTENTION INTACTIVISTS:
I read some disturbing stories in the Case Against Circumcision forum about pediatricians forcing the foreskin back.... I had never heard of a doctor or nurse doing that. Intactivists, please arm yourself and protect your child with information from that forum!
post #14 of 42
8/20/05 at 10:05am
Quote:
Originally Posted by kalirush
Probably not having a boy, but any boychildren in our future are going to be intact 'till they're old enough to decide to bodymod on their own.
We have had a few people ask us why we didn't have DS circumsized (e.g. relatives standing around when we were changing his diaper) and that is the approach we take when answering--that we decided if he wants it done he can get it done himself.
post #15 of 42
8/20/05 at 12:45pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BennyPai
ATTENTION INTACTIVISTS:
I read some disturbing stories in the Case Against Circumcision forum about pediatricians forcing the foreskin back.... I had never heard of a doctor or nurse doing that. Intactivists, please arm yourself and protect your child with information from that forum!
Yes, this is very important! My first ds was forcibly retracted when me moved to another town when he was 13 mos old (first appt w/ new ped.) I had never heard of anyone doing this as our old peds were very informed and had even given us a sheet w/ proper care and that little blurb that no one should ever pull it back, with a little paragraph at the bottom on care of a circ'd penis that sounded awful--it was a sheet they handed out at the hospital--it mentioned bloody wounds and how to recognize infections caused by contact w/ feces--shudder. I didn't even know that circ was still the norm in other towns/parts of the country, so I had no idea a ped could be ignorant on the proper care. Anyway, she forcibly retracted it before I knew what she was doing and told me I needed to do this every day so "these adhesions don't reform." I was literally in tears, ds bled, and he cried for at least 3 hours AND refused to nurse, which told me this was the absolutel worst thing he'd ever been through b/c NOTHING was so bad he couldn't nurse, believe me!

ALWAYS make sure any doc who comes near your child knows not to pull it back. Luckily, that experience hasn't been repeated w/ either of my boys. The ped we have now is really great about it, even better than my first ped.
post #16 of 42
8/20/05 at 1:02pm
I am all for keeping my baby boy intact!

I just want to scream when ppl "routinely" circ their sons.
post #17 of 42
8/20/05 at 2:23pm
We aren't doing it. My husband still doesn't quite "get it" and still mildly fights me on it, but I'd rather fight with my husband about this issue for the rest of my life than have to deal with the guilt that I mutilated my son.
post #18 of 42
8/20/05 at 6:41pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by BennyPai

ATTENTION INTACTIVISTS:
I read some disturbing stories in the Case Against Circumcision forum about pediatricians forcing the foreskin back.... I had never heard of a doctor or nurse doing that. Intactivists, please arm yourself and protect your child with information from that forum!
My son was one...the doctor retracted him when he was about a year old. The poor thing wouldn't let anyone wipe him during a diaper change for several weeks (we had to use spray bottles and a lot of distraction), and he bled a lot from it. The doctor insisted he was right and I was wrong....until I brought him the AAP stance on care of the intact penis (he was a DO, not a ped, so he didn't have that info). He is now one less doctor who is uninformed...
post #19 of 42
8/20/05 at 7:46pm
Unfortunately my 2 boys are circed - I didn't know anything and unfortunately didnt do much research about it when pg with them and left the decision to dh, who just assumed he'd "be like him" and get circed - and I was sexually (and physically, mentally, emotionally) abused by an intact male and did not want to have that association with my baby boys. With my second ds it was a more difficult decision than with my first, because I was vaguely aware that it wasn't necessary, but was still so afraid of having that association and being repulsed by my son I've learned and grown a LOT since then and will NOT have Moonbaby circed if it's a boy.
post #20 of 42
8/20/05 at 9:17pm
No plans to circ here. If anyone ask me why I will just tell them it's not medically necessary. End of discussion
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