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For those of us expecting boys (or surprises) - Page 2

post #21 of 42
Intactivists here too. No way would we circ our babies! Thankfully, we have midwives who are intactivists as well, and a ped who supports our decision not to mutiliate and has respected DS1's penis. It's just nice to have that support from a professional perspective, b/c we are definitely the odd men out on this subject among our friends/family IRL.
post #22 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by mom2threenurslings
I was sexually (and physically, mentally, emotionally) abused
I am so sorry you had that experience. I hope you have gotten some good listening to help with this.
post #23 of 42
I just don't get how anyone can actually think about it logicaly and decide that cutting off part of your baby is a good thing. I guess most people just do it because in the US it is the "norm" and most dads had it done and want their kids to "look like them". What they don't realize is that as children they are going to look nothing like their fathers anyway, there are lots of other differences like size & hair & such that will make them look different and by the time they are old enough to look similar they will probably not be looking at dads penis anyway. Anyway, we did not circ our son and will not with these boys either. Showing dh a video of what they do took care of any thought he ever had about doing it and he is now very thankful that we did not do it and could not imagine taking one of our brand new babies in to get part of their penis cut off. If there are any of you that need to convince daddy not to do it just show them a video of what is done and I can not imagine them wanting to still do it.
post #24 of 42
The "aesthetic" reasons for circ'ing problably drive me up the wall the most. Our society can be pretty warped sometimes.
post #25 of 42
If ours is a boy we will not circumcise. Dh is European and intact.
post #26 of 42
Thanks for bringing this up Galatea.

My ds is intact (as is dh, luckily for both him and me! ), and if this new little one is a boy OR girl, both will (obviously) keep all of their body parts.

Mom2threenurslings - . My heart breaks when I read the stories in the Circumcision forum about moms who regret the decision to circumcise their sons. As Maya Angelo said, 'When you know better, you do better.'
post #27 of 42
We don't plan on circ either. DH was circumcised at 12, and he said it was the most painful experience of his life. He said he was getting his tonsils out and they decided they might as well do it while he was under the knife!

Very strange.

So he has no problems with not circing. It's strange though I have 2 friends that circumcised because of pressure from their dhs, and they regretted it so much. My best friend told me she'd never heard screams like that coming from her son before, even though they waited till he was over a month old. Her dh and the doc were just chatting and laughing while the doc was slicing away. I can't imagine.

If people ask me, I'll simply say "no and I don't plan on chopping his fingers off, or cutting off his eyelids either".
post #28 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by Music-mommy
We don't plan on circ either. DH was circumcised at 12, and he said it was the most painful experience of his life.

If people ask me, I'll simply say "no and I don't plan on chopping his fingers off, or cutting off his eyelids either".
My dh was circed at the same age. At that age they actually have to use stitches. Can you imagine? Thats like getting an episiotomy! I can't fathom, poor kids.

I like your response...I think I will use that!

Michelle
post #29 of 42
Quote:
At that age they actually have to use stitches
They had to use stiches on my ds, he was 8 months old when his was done. He had hypospadius, and it was repaird. I had consented to the circ if they were going to use the foreskin for the hypo. repair, but the doctor "couldn't find me" when he realized he didn't need anything skin to make the repair, and circ'd him anyway. Of course I did sign a consent form for a circ, I just wish it had been better understood that I would have prefered him come back out of the OR with his foreskin.

The recovery had to be awful for him, he finally peed about 6 hours after the procedure, when we were finally allowed to go home. Then he peed normally once we were at home, until he went to bed. He must have rolled over on his tummy, and it hurt so he wouldn't pee, but he didn't wake up. Finally at about 5 am, he woke up, we got him, and his diaper was dry, and the bandage was dry, and some blood had stuck to the diaper, so we had to use warm water to get the diaper off...then while I held him in a fresh diaper he felt relaxed enough to finally pee. After that we didn't have any problems thankfully. I'm still sad it was done.
post #30 of 42
Unfortunately ds is circed, I just didn't do my research. This whole pregnancy I've told my dh that if this baby is a boy we are not going to circ him. Now, just last night (with my mom also present) he said that it will make us look like indecisive parents to have one circed and one not. Who cares. And then my mom butted in with the whole, "it's gross", "he'll get made fun of in gym class", you can't do that to him with a dad and brother that are circed, etc. I can't believe my dh is now on the fence about it. I know that the rate is 50% and most of my friend's sons are still in tact. Thanks for bringing up this issue. I'll have to find some hard evidence to show my ds so that he still isn't weary.
post #31 of 42
sweetred: If this one is a boy, he'll be circed when our two boys are not. I don't think "indecisive" would describe it - I'd say instead that we grew and learned as parents and decided to learn from our mistakes and not make the same mistake again! I have many friends who have two or more boys with one circed and the other(s) not.

I was speaking with a mama recently about the circ "issue" and dh's reactions to us not wanting our boys' circed when they don't see a problem with it and she said, "I said to my dh that if he insisted on having our son circed that I insisted on him (dh) having his left index finger cut off so he's look just like *his* dad (who lost his finger due to an accident in a factory). " Her dh said that was ridiculous and she said, "But you don't think it's ridiculous to have a part of our baby's body cut off just so he'll look like you!" He never argued the point again and their son is intact!

Zeldasmom - Thanks! I've come a long way since the abuse ended 11 years ago.
post #32 of 42
ds is intact. as will this one if we are blessed with another another boy.

here's an interested side note in response to those talking about US hospitals making it the "norm"...

my niece lives in AZ, and she had a son last year. she had to pay out of pocket to have him circed (i tried to educate her but she is 17, knows everything, and shouldn't have been having a baby anywyay, but that's a different discussion) because her insurance didn't cover non-medically necessary procedures.

so maybe, just maybe, things are in starting change? let's cross our fingers!
post #33 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by spsmom
my niece lives in AZ, and she had a son last year. she had to pay out of pocket to have him circed (i tried to educate her but she is 17, knows everything, and shouldn't have been having a baby anywyay, but that's a different discussion) because her insurance didn't cover non-medically necessary procedures.
I am in CA and everyone that I know that did circ had to pay for it out of pocket also. Insurance Co's do not consider it medically necessary and usually don't pay. I am sure that some will pay, but it seems like most don't, but it is one thing people don't seem to mind paying out of pocket for. I know someone who just had it done to her son and I think she said it was $600. You would think cost alone would discourage more people, but it doesn't seem to.
post #34 of 42
Quote:
I know someone who just had it done to her son and I think she said it was $600
I know if we were considering it, that would keep us from doing it if we were uneducated about circ! We certianly can't afford that much for THAT!
post #35 of 42
Quote:
Originally Posted by DoulaMommy
They had to use stiches on my ds, he was 8 months old when his was done. He had hypospadius, and it was repaird. I had consented to the circ if they were going to use the foreskin for the hypo. repair, but the doctor "couldn't find me" when he realized he didn't need anything skin to make the repair, and circ'd him anyway. Of course I did sign a consent form for a circ, I just wish it had been better understood that I would have prefered him come back out of the OR with his foreskin.
Thats why dh had his done. Of course back in the day they couldn't do repairs like they do now. It could have turned out much worse than it already was so he didn't get his repaired and its worked just fine thankfully. They weren't sure if he'd be able to get a woman pg but obviously not a problem (with #6 on the way lol).

My mom couldn't afford to get the last of her boys circed so I have 1 brother in 5 that is intact. I think money is a great incentive.

Michelle
post #36 of 42
ya, hypo sucks! The urologist thought it was bad enough that he wouldn't pee standing up, and may have a difficult time getting it all in the bowl while sitting down...and it turned out, that sitting down he would have been fine, but he wouldn't have been taught to pee standing until he was 6 or 7 due to the 'side stream' effect LOL I hate cleaning up pee off the floor. Ya, it sucks that happend to him, and ya I still feel bad about it but there is nothing I can do now except to say I wouldn't circ again if given the choice
post #37 of 42
We're planning on leaving our baby intact. Don't know if its a boy or girl yet.
post #38 of 42

i need your help!

this babe's a surprise and while i try to bring the discussion of circ up with dh, he thinks it's a non-issue and that we're circ'ing no matter what. he is, ds is, every male in our close families are.

here's what i need...

evidence that it's not a social issue anymore, percentages, etc - i try to tell him that circ/uncirc rates are close to 50/50 now, he doesn't buy it

help with how do we deal with one son circ'd and one not

with ds - i was ambivalent, i hadn't found mdc yet and didn't really do my research : he said it was important to him to circ, so i went along with it - ds ended up needing stitches and i felt awful afterward.

can anyone help? i suppose i should cross-post this in the circ forum as well...

thanks!
post #39 of 42
imgr8ful - I would post in the circ forum and I am sure you will get tons of info. For me showing my dh a video of a circ is all that was needed to convince him. I borrowed it from my midwife, maybe you could try to get your hands on one. I don't know where to go for research as I never had to do any because the video worked great Also Galatea that started this thread has some links in her sig to circ info, I would look at those. Good luck with your hubby, it can be such a hard thing to come to an agreement on.
post #40 of 42
thanks sarah - unfortunately a video won't change his mind, he was with ds when it was done...

off to post in the circ forum
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