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When did you first learn about circ?

post #1 of 52
Thread Starter 
I don't mean the debate...I mean the actual idea of it.

I was 6 and my mom brought my newborn brother home from the hospital. During a diaper change I saw the bandage and the blood, and kind of freaked out.
I remember them saying "It's just a little piece of skin"
(Sure looked like the whole thing was messed up to me!)
And "It doesn't really do anything anyway".

I remember feeling very sorry for my poor baby brother. As a 6 year old I knew blood meant pain, and blood there was very scary.
I kind of think that on some level we all recoiled in horror when we first learned about circ as kids. Kids see scary, nightmarish stuff for what it is. It takes years to understand the concept of "necessary evil". (A concept that might or might not be total BS all aroud).

Do you remember when you first heard about circ?
post #2 of 52
I don't remember my age, but I was a kid. My mother said that circumcision was a horrible, barbaric act and that if she'd had any idea what it was she would have never consented to it for my brother (born in 1969). Apparently they took my brother into a little alcove right off the room where my mother was recovering in order to do it--my mother heard him screaming and asked what happened and was completely horrified to find out what circumcision was. She never had another son but she was adamantly against circumcision and regretted horribly that it happened to my brother.

Knowing how I sobbed and sobbed when my son got the minimally painful and IMO very necessary heel prick for newborn screening, it just baffles me that it doesn't rip every mother's heart out to even consider circumcision on their tiny baby boys. I guess it's not typically done in earshot, tho.
post #3 of 52
I was 19. Isn't that funny?

My first boyfriend, when I was sixteen, was intact, but I didn't really get what that meant-- I have two circed younger brothers, but you sure don't mentally compare your brothers' genitals with your boyfriend's. Ewww.

Anyways, my NEXT boyfriend, at 19, was circumcised, and I remember wondering what was wrong with his penis. I mean really, the circ does reduce the possibility for play IYKWIM.

So I ASKED what the deal was, because I am the queen of in the lovin' department. He was kinda pissed about it, but did explain. :LOL

The relationship was shortlived after that.
post #4 of 52
Well, I'm 50 years old, and I honestly don't remember when I first learned about circ.! :LOL

What I do remember, however, is a conversation I had with my brother when I was about 16 or 17 years old. I asked him if he was circ'ed, and he said "No, I'm not." He then said he was glad he wasn't. (He's 10 years older than I am). Well, that conversation was a big reason why I didn't circ. my son who was born 7 years later. Thanks, big brother!
post #5 of 52
My mom had an in home daycare and I used to change some of the kiddos diapers. Well, we watched this one little boy who was intact so that's what I thought they were supposed to look like (and they are!), but when I changed another little boys diaper and he was cut, I was in shock. I was disgusted. It looked so vulnerable to everything. I couldn't imagine why anyone in their right mind would cut off a perfectly useful normal piece of skin.

When I first started having relations with men, they were almost all circed. I always would spend a few minutes looking them over and mentally pointing out all the mess ups caused by circing. I saw at least 3 on every guy.
post #6 of 52
I was about 8 when I saw a circumstraint in the doc's office. I asked Mom what it was and she told me. I was shocked and said, "Does it hurt?" My mom said, "Well, yeah, of course it hurts, but what are you going to do? It has to be done!" That's when I decided I never wanted a son.(In defense of my mom, she was just repeating what the authoritarian doctor had told her. She's been extremely supportive in my decision not to circ and is awesome in general).

At 12, I babysat regularly for the kids across the street. A very sweet, devout family and the mom was an LLL leader. I noticed the boy's penis looked "weird" and wondered what was "wrong" with it (it was intact). Didn't put the pieces together until years later.

Fast forward to college. Spent a year in Europe. Noticed that all the sculptures and paintings in the art museums had pointy penises on the men. Thought it was some kind of modesty thing, like, the artists didn't want to go into too much detail down there. NEVER occured to me that they were intact. Also wondered why the other girls couldn't get enough of sex with French men. See, I'm still under the unconscious assumption that everyone has to be circed or....what? I don't know!

Also in college, I am privy to a conversation about what guys "use" while mastubating. One said soap, one said a tissue, one snobby pretentious guy said a silk handkerchief. Wondered why they had to "use" anything, but of couurse still did not connect the dots.

post #7 of 52
First time I heard the story of Abraham, I was about 6 or 7. With no visual to go with it, and having only seen little baby penises with healed circumcisions, I wondered what on earth it was that Jewish people cut off! :LOL

Didn't give it another thought until I got pregnant with #1 and found out it hurt like hell, reduced erogenous tissue, and was totally unnecessary. I didn't even agonize about it - I just thought, oh, well, that's good to hear! We won't do that! Eww!
post #8 of 52
I don't remember, but I do remember the first time I saw an intact penis. I was 15 and was babysitting for a family from South Africa and while changing their baby's diaper, I noticed there was something wrong (in my mind at the time) with his penis, but did not really connect what it was -- I just thought babies must grow into the head-exposed look. I even knew what circumcision was at the time (although I thought it was some painless procedure all baby boys went through) and I didn't connect the dots.

Just a few months after that, I was on a message board and witnessed a circumcision debate. I realized circ for what a horrible thing it was, and have not looked back ever since.
post #9 of 52
I have a brother who is circ, so I was pretty much raised thinking all boys were born w/ penises that looked like that(shared a bedroom until I was in 1st grade). I knew of the word circ and knew it happened to boys' penises, but that's it. When I was a teenager, I checked out a book at the library about our growing bodies. Boys and girls were in the same book. It had a pic of intact and circ'd. I thought the intact looked REALLY weird. I decided I preferred the circ'd pic.(I know...conditioning.)

Fast forward to 16 yrs old. My BF, that I LOVED dearly, informed me he was "not circumcised".(His parents came here from Bulgaria.) He was all nervous about it. I shrugged, OK. It never got in the way of anything romantic. I never gave it a 2nd thought. We were together for over 3 yrs.

Eventhough, I had first hand experience w/ foreskin, I thought it still "had" to be done to American boys. I honestly had NO idea what actually happened during a circ, what was removed. I still thought of it as a simple slice, like the cord and the necessary pain of a heel prick. : If I ever saw an intact baby penis(hosp baby pics or TV), I wouldn't have put 2 and 2 together.

Luckly, I happened upon a circ debate(after I had already had 2 DDs) and was shockingly informed about the truth of circ. HECK NO would I do something like that to my baby!!! It took me a matter of minutes to decide that. I don't need studies to tell me "excruciating, unnecessary pain = AIN'T gonna happen to my babe."
post #10 of 52
I have 2 younger brothers, so I knew what it was, thought it was just something that was just done. No questions (which is actually weird for me, I question everything! LOL!) Then when I was in college, I started working at a daycare. MOST of the boys were intact there and I changed PLENTY of diapers and wet (accidents) pants, believe me! LOL! (interestingly, I never changed a single girl diaper there. They were all potty trained! It was 2-6 year olds. I did help them change into a dry clothes a time or 2, but changing diapers is when you really see the parts.) By the time I got pg w/ ds1, just a few months after starting to work there, intact little boy penises had become the norm for me. And as soon as I found out it was a boy, the first thing those ladies at the daycare asked me was if I was going to circ. ANd they said it in a way that I knew they didn't like the idea. LOL! It also helped that I took the Bradley Method and was lent boxes and boxes of back issues of Mothering dating from about 1980 to 1989. Ds's dad gave me some grief over it, but we weren't married and he was an ass, so I felt no need to do anything for him. Especially hurt my precious baby! And very luckily, all the peds in that town were pretty against circ, so when he asked about having it done at the hospital and the ped came into the room to discuss it, as soon as she found out I was against it, she basically put him in his place. LOL!
post #11 of 52
I don't remember a time when I didn't know what it was, so maybe elementary school? I was raised to think that it was a necessary thing that all boys had done. The first time I actually thought about it was when a very closed-minded "friend" of mine was telling how she was disgusted to find out that the man she was dating had not been circ'd. That was when I was about 20. That was one of those light bulb moments, it had never occured to me that not everyone had it done. Then a few years later when I got pregnant I started researching
post #12 of 52
I first heard the term when I was 6. That's when my younger brother was born and he's intact. I had heard my parents talk about not having him circed but I didn't really know what it was. I did notice that my brothers penis looked different from my circed cousin but I never thought much about it. Didn't really hear about circ again until I was dating my first boyfriend. I had asked him why his penis looked so funny because my brothers was really the only other one I'd seen. He could not believe my brother wasn't circed and he didn't know anyone that wasn't. He told me all guys had to be circed so they could have sex when they were older. : I actually had to tell him that the foreskin does retract (I'd seen my brother pull his back a few times so I knew that much). He didn't even know that but he still felt that there must be a good reason for circ or people wouldn't do it. Didn't really think about it again until I was expecting my first. Dh didn't want to do it so I didn't really look into it. It wasn't until close friends circed their son and I saw them changin him a few weeks after it and saw how incredibly red it looked that I started my research.
post #13 of 52
I really started thinking about it when I was in college (in the US, I'm from Italy) and babysat for a baby boy...his penis was all red and I just had a hard time looking at it. Weird, I had been with intact guys (in Italy) and circ'd in the Us and never really stopped to think about it much.
post #14 of 52
In high school my best friend's boyfriend wasn't circ'd and I remember thinking how weird that was (I know, but I had never seen an intact one). Then I didn't give it much thought until my sis had a boy and circ'd him. I just want to cry when I see his penis. My mom told her all the it has to be done stories and I didn't know better cause I have a girl and never really looked into it. If I ever have a boy intact he will be.
post #15 of 52
with two little bros, all I had seen was circ'ed growing up. all but one of the guys I knew were circ'ed, so like ppers i just assumed it was the norm, one of those things you did, like cutting cord, etc. DH's was botched a bit, he has more foreskin left then he should, probably makes him a bit more "sensitive" then most at any rate, we looked into it for reals when we found out we were expecting ds, took me about 5 minutes on nocirc to decide it wasn't happening, another 5 to tell dh and him to agree, and that was that. our ped is a 3 dr practice, so whichever doc is in on your delivery date actually checks out baby and whatnot. dr bob asked if we wanted to, we said no way, he said fine, baby looks great and that was it at the hospital. first check up we saw my fave doc, i was a little nervous because i didn't know her opinion. she took a look, and said GOOD FOR YOU!! she hadn't done either of her boys and was proud of us for going against the norm for CO.
post #16 of 52
I vaguely remember my mother saying something about being glad that halfsister and I were girls because she didn't "have to" have us cut. It was in a context like all little boys needed it. And later she did have my little bro circed. The first guy I encountered who wasnt circed was my abuser but we'll leave that out of this. The next time I remember it mentioned was I had a friend in college who would tell me how disgusting it was that a boyfriend of hers hadn't been circed.

I have never encountered not circing in a positive contest until now.
post #17 of 52
i first heard the term circumcision when i was 12. a friend got a new baby brother. when he was a few days old, my friend comes to school saying that her baby brother will be circumcised. i asked what it was. she said that they take part of the penis away that he doesn't need, and then use it to make skin grafts. i thought that circumcision was the same thing as a vasectomy. i thought it was so wrong for parents to make decisions like that for their sons. then my mom told me that it wasn't the same thing as a vasectomy, but i still thought it was really strange to mess around with a baby's genitals.

then, when i was 19, i saw an intact penis for the first time. i went to switzerland to be a nanny for twins. one had hypospadia, and one was intact. the parents told me that one had a birth defect on his penis, and one was normal. i didn't know which was which. the hypospadias seemed more normal to me, because there was the hooded foreskin, an "extra flap of skin" and the glans was exposed. the intact one looked strange.
soon after that, i started having experience with adult men, and first experienced intact adult. months later, the first time i experienced a circed adult, i quite honestly didn't know what to do with it. i still don't. to me, a circed adult seems like half the fun parts are missing
post #18 of 52
Originally Posted by bremen
the first time i experienced a circed adult, i quite honestly didn't know what to do with it. i still don't. to me, a circed adult seems like half the fun parts are missing
:LOL I can imagine! I'm sure I would be thinking the same thing if I encountered a woman with no labia. "OK, what the heck do I do with this thing?" It would be like going to the grocery store on a motorcycle.

post #19 of 52
Originally Posted by Super Pickle

Fast forward to college. Spent a year in Europe. Noticed that all the sculptures and paintings in the art museums had pointy penises on the men. Thought it was some kind of modesty thing, like, the artists didn't want to go into too much detail down there. NEVER occured to me that they were intact.
Sorry, but :LOL

The first time I really thought about circ was the first time a saw a penis close-up. :LOL It was my first boyfriend. He had a massive scar and I asked about it. He said it was from circ. I didn't really think anything of it at the time. My next boyfriend, now dh has a similar scar. I learned of the controversy of male circ while looking at the NOW website. I was reading about FGM and saw some info about MGM. I started reading and was shocked that people continue to do that to their babies. Honestly, I can't imagine a new mama who is informed about circ sending her baby off to have it done.
post #20 of 52
My first little brother was born when I was almost 5 (four days before my birthday actually) and I probably heard about it then, but didn't see any bloody diaper changes or anything and I would probably remember since I was five. I do remember being really upset that he was a boy in the first place so I probably didn't pay any attention to any details about him... By middle school I had had another baby brother, though I don't remember any bloody penis with him either I think my Mother just changed his diapers till he was healed and I remember changing my sister (who was two when the youngest was born) a lot once my brother came. So I had no inclination to look at poopy diapers that weren't necessary for me to look at.

I thought it was normal and my parents told me it was (my Father was cut as well) and then in 7th grade my best friend told me that she was reading a book about our changing bodies (I don't remember which one...) but it talked about circumcision. The book said that circ was not necessary for cleanliness any more than perfume is necessary for cleanliness in girls. She then told me that her little brother (two years younger than us) was not circumcised. That threw me for a loop because I thought it was very necessary. However, I gave it no thought till I dated my first boyfriend (age 16) and couldn't figure out if he was circ'd or not and tried to find pictures online to help me out. We never got past the playing around stage (which is a very very GOOD thing because he turned out to be a jerk) and I never did figure out if he was or not...

Then when I started dating my dh (age 17), he mentioned to me that he could never be a porn star which puzzled me and I asked for more information. He told me that he wasn't circumcized and I told him that I knew next-to-nothing about it and didn't really care either way. Now I definitely love the fact that he's not and am very happy that his parents didn't mutilate him! I remember it seemed very difficult for him to tell me that he wasn't circ'd though probably because he knew it wasn't the norm.

I think that's all

love and peace.
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