She's starting to whine

[Jasmyn's Mum]

I know it's a normal stage that they go through. I'm just not sure how to deal with it. Do I ignore? Do I give it attention? I don't want to reinforce the behaviour but I'm not sure how to go about it. Distraction sometimes works, sometimes not. She's only 20 mos so I don't think reasoning is the answer.

Help, anyone?

[peaceful_mama]

how about ignoring the whining but giving lots of attention when she's not? A *few* kids at 20 mos (the few who are sentence-speaking verbal) might even understand 'mama doesn't hear whiny voices' but likely not(that seems more like something a preschooler would get)....a better alternative might be to just take it as a sign she needs more attention and give it. Reasoning can wait until later, like you already said. Keep teaching her other ways to get your attention, she'll eventually 'get it.' The best advice I have ever gotten is to teach them what TO do, not tell them what NOT to do.

[P-chan]

I agree with everything the PP wrote, and I would add that before you try the "mama doesn't hear whiny voices" thing, make sure your child knows what whining is! It took me a few days to realize that my 26-month-old didn't connect the word "whine" with his tone of voice. So sometimes I echo back what he says to me and label it whining, and we whine at each other for a bit, and it turns into a giggle-fest. Then I demonstrate the nice way to ask for something (easy, such as "cracker, please!") and we move on.

[johub]

When it comes to whining, the statement that the important thing is to show them what to do, rather than what not to do is very true.
I dont know how verbal your child is. WHen my child whines something that they want, I do not respond to the whining directly. But I first try to translate.
"You want some water?" and then if I get a nod I then prompt them "can you say 'water please'?" The whine disappers and is replaced by an understandable request that I now very happily fill.
This has worked remarkably well for me.
Joline

[Jasmyn's Mum]

Thanks Mamas. THat's great advice. I'll try my best.

[katallen]

My daughter was very verbal and would respond well when I said please use your nice voice and modeled how she should phrase her request in a nice voice, but only if she was well rested, well fed, and had a lot of positive attention and play time with me. She is 2 3/4 now but she still whines and I think it is sometimes. We sometimes both are in a whiney or grumpy mood on the same day and I try to get us out to a park or the pool on our those days so we don't feel so cooped up and usually we come back all happy and ready to have a nice afternoon. If you find yourself whining when you don't get something you want try to stop because that will only teach her that whining is how we communicate.

[Jasmyn's Mum]

I think she gets frustrated cause she's not talking yet. We've been teaching her to sign but her vocab is still limited. Can't say I blame her. Just don't want to reinforce it.