Hi all,
I was just browsing though MDC for a totally different topic and came across this forum by accident. I lost my dd to cancer 4 years ago when she was just 3 years old. I have read through some of the posts and while it is so sad to see everyone's pain, I do feel some comfort knowing I am not alone.
I have a terrrible time leading up to the spring months when she passed, even though it is my favorite time of year. My husband, on the other hand, has problems leading up to Christmas. He hates the holiday and wishes it would just go away. It is interesting how we grieve differently.
Tomorrow my now oldest dd starts Kindergarten. I can't help but think about our first dd Shawndra who would be starting 2nd grade tomorrow. She would have been such a help for Sierra right now. It stinks.
I heard a senator discussing how she lost her son in the war, and something she said killed me. She discussed how her other child said, "We didn't just lose our brother, we also lost our parents for two years." That is what grieving can do to you. First you can barely function at all, then you don't want to function, and finally you feel guilty for functioning. That is where I am at. I feel guilty for moving on, even though I know I have to.
I also had a miscarriage a few months ago, and I think that has brought so much of it to the forfront of my mind again. I remember so much pain, heartache, and depression. I can't believe I can get out of bed in the morning.
Anyway, I am rambling, but I was so excited to find a place to spill my guts. All my friends and family have pretty much forgotten, and don't even call on her birthday or anniversary any more. Sometimes I feel so alone.
Thanks for listening,
Kim Freeburg
I was just browsing though MDC for a totally different topic and came across this forum by accident. I lost my dd to cancer 4 years ago when she was just 3 years old. I have read through some of the posts and while it is so sad to see everyone's pain, I do feel some comfort knowing I am not alone.
I have a terrrible time leading up to the spring months when she passed, even though it is my favorite time of year. My husband, on the other hand, has problems leading up to Christmas. He hates the holiday and wishes it would just go away. It is interesting how we grieve differently.
Tomorrow my now oldest dd starts Kindergarten. I can't help but think about our first dd Shawndra who would be starting 2nd grade tomorrow. She would have been such a help for Sierra right now. It stinks.
I heard a senator discussing how she lost her son in the war, and something she said killed me. She discussed how her other child said, "We didn't just lose our brother, we also lost our parents for two years." That is what grieving can do to you. First you can barely function at all, then you don't want to function, and finally you feel guilty for functioning. That is where I am at. I feel guilty for moving on, even though I know I have to.
I also had a miscarriage a few months ago, and I think that has brought so much of it to the forfront of my mind again. I remember so much pain, heartache, and depression. I can't believe I can get out of bed in the morning.
Anyway, I am rambling, but I was so excited to find a place to spill my guts. All my friends and family have pretty much forgotten, and don't even call on her birthday or anniversary any more. Sometimes I feel so alone.
Thanks for listening,
Kim Freeburg
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