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Are you like your parents? - Page 2

Poll Results: Do you parent like your parents?

This is a multiple choice poll
  • 32% (56)
    Did your mom Breastfeed?
  • 29% (50)
    Did your parents vaxinate?
  • 5% (9)
    Did your parents use organic foods?
  • 1% (3)
    Did your parents homeschool?
  • 8% (14)
    Do you discipline like your parents?
  • 22% (39)
    Do your parents understand your style?
171 Total Votes  
post #21 of 34
I was breastfed and cloth diapered. We watched almost no television in our home - we had a very old black and white Zenith with rabbit ears so we could watch some PBS (Sesame Street) and the Olympics. Most of my toys were German-made wooden toys. I was forbidden to play with Barbies and never wanted them anyway. In some ways we were very sheltered - I never heard any Rock and Roll until I was in 4th grade, only classical music in our home. I had no idea who any cartoon characters were. I thought Barbie was "too hard and funny looking". I loved playing with my Kathe Kruse babydolls instead.

Discipline was another story. My father was adamantly opposed to spanking, but my Mom did it frequently. Maybe it's a German thing??? She says now she wishes she had done things differently with discipline.

She thouroughly agrees with AP now that she sees how wonderful it's been for my son though.

Kristina
post #22 of 34
Did your mom Breastfeed?
yes

Did your parents vaxinate?
no

Did your parents use organic foods?
when available - wasn't as easy back then

Did your parents homeschool?
no

Do you discipline like your parents? \
I try not to! But I find myself sounding like them all the time

Do your parents understand your style ?
I think that they don't but they know theirs was lacking and applaude that I am trying to do things differently. My Dad even gave me a book while pg with #1 called
"I Swore I Wouldn't Do That!"
about changing parenting behavior styles and not repeating bad skills.
post #23 of 34
Thread Starter 
Thanks for everyone's input - keep it coming. This is very interesting to learn how we are the same vs different from our parents. I do see that most of our moms BF though. Which is great considering the 60's & 70's.
The poll did not set up how I had invisoned it to be - so you may ignore it. Just answer the basic quesitons.
Some of us want to be like our parents and some don't. I think that is normal. for those of us that don't we are trying hard to change for the best for our kids - and isn't that what it is all about - the kids.
post #24 of 34

and 80s...

ok, guess I get to out my age now
Hey Mingber, you forgot a decade......
I was born in the 80s. 1981, actually, the day after the reagan assassination attempt.
But, you are right, BFing was more of a rarity in the 60s and 70s, and my mom was doing it then too.

I am curious, whether anyone here wanted to (or still wants) to have a birth experience similar to their mom's? or different? Seems to me alot of parenting ideals start there. I know my mom was a lucky one who birthed in the hospital but with no interventions in 1971, and again in 1981. Her last birth was actually the most interventive in 1986. And her being left alone was mostly an accident of the hospital not believing that she was in active labor until we were crowning. (She dilates fast). Guess the OB figured out her labor pattern by the time my bro came along, and managed that labor.

-Lau
post #25 of 34
Lau, good question about birth.... My opinions on the subject were formed early and firmly by hearing from my mom (first her telling other women, later her telling me directly) how she gave birth to me in a liberal college town and it was pretty much just how she wanted it, w/no drugs except the little bit SHE requested and very respectful treatment...and then we moved to a conservative Southern town where she had my brother and was shaved and given an epidural and episiotomy without her consent, and whenever she spoke up the dr. said things like "Don't worry your pretty head, sugarpie," and then he told my dad that when he stitched up the tear he "did an extra stitch to make her real nice for you." I'm determined not to let anything like her second experience happen to me!!! I'm not even pregnant yet (I think...any day now!) but I've already seen a midwife and studied how to make a birth plan.
post #26 of 34
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post #27 of 34
Thread Starter 
EnviroBecca - Yuor poor mother. My moms experiences were in the late 60-early 70s. All her birthing was done in a hospital, but all her labors were very fast. My older brother was about 3 hours (they knocked her out for that one and then she almost ODed on the self induced Morphine)(she didn't realize she kept hitting the button), with me, she went into the hospital to get induced and was told she was in active labor - 1 hour later I was born. My younger brother was also about 1 hour. She did have to have the enima thing and the shaving - no choice, but no drugs or anything else with me and my younger brother- she didn't need it.

Mine have been very similar - actually. All done in the hospital (RI doesn't allow homebirth) and NJ (for the second) my husband wasn't into the idea. My DD was born in RI - from start to finish 3 hours - 20 minutes. no drugs, but I did tear - she came shooting out. With DS I was 5 centimeters and not laboring at all, but they broke my water and then within 1 hour 45 minutes he was out. No drugs, no tearing. My husband pushed for breaking the water becuase DD was in the hospital with us and it was almost midnight and she needed to go to sleep.

I pray the next time that the baby doesn't fall out on the kitchen floor with how fast I go. Or that it doesn't happen while I am out shopping. DH says - no more, but I disagree - we will see what happens.
post #28 of 34
no to all

Come to think of it my parents have not a clue about AP. My mother still asks if I want a playpen for ds of 8 months
*visual of ds in playpen at grandmas* "Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

But they survive by thinking we are and we think they are: and sometimes we wish we could so as to invoke the holy and just but oh no! we just out loud and send them lots of and hope they eventaully see how ds is and how being a little more brings a lot of to everyone
Erich
post #29 of 34
theatredad, you're great!
post #30 of 34
I parent very much like my parents, and I even do the things my parents wished they had done (a little gentler.)
It was just the natual thing for me to do. I always ate healthy, so of course I would feed my children healthy foods. And the same with BFing, and Home Birth, and Non-Vaxing, and so-on!

Dh, however, parents completely differant from his parents - and not only because of me! He wants to be as different from his parents as possible, for good reason - kwim?
post #31 of 34
My mother was a good mother, I have an excellent relationship with her. For a long time though I did not think I was fit for parenthood, because I did not feel that I could "mother" the way she did, or be as patient or as devoted.

When I was pregnant I decided that since I was not giving birth to myself, I did not need to be my mother, I needed to be my baby's mother. And my baby chose me, so it was OK that I was not like my mother.

There are some things that I emulate, many things that I do differently by nature, others out of deliberate effort. But my mother says she is astounded at how patient I am (we took 20 minutes for Dd to put away a container of Thanksgiving leftovers in the refrigerator; it was really fun to see what she wanted to do with the container), and this AP stuff has her convinced my devotion is not a concern.

We are not at all like Dh's family.

My mother is very interested in AP and considers it a great advance from parenting in the 50's and 60's as she was instructed to practice (and she faults herself for listening). Dh's parents think we're overly indulgent and are not interested in learning more.
post #32 of 34
My mom is and was a drunk the entire time she was a mother and housewife.

She beat us.

She cussed at us like a drunken sailor.

One of us died. She said that the only good one of us died. The rest of us were no good.

The neighbors knew; the police knew; the schools knew; no one did anything.

No I do not have a relationship with her now.

No I am not like her.

I have made every effort humanly possible not to be like her and to be an excellent loving mother who treasures each moment of her children's life and to create wonderful fun memories for each of my children.

So far. So good.
post #33 of 34
Applejuice, your mom sounds like mine! "The good one" of us also died.

But, can you believe it, I was born at home, breastfed for several months, fed organic stuff, and my little bro was uncirced?

That seems to conflict with all the abuse and shame and humiliation. So hopefully I will not be like her in ways of discipline.
post #34 of 34

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