The term 'Happy Holidays"

[Britishmum]

In the UK, we don't use the term 'Happy Holidays'. We would say 'Merry Christmas', or be specific if we meant Hannukah, Eid or any other celebration. But the term 'Merry Christmas' tends to be said as a general seasonal greeting, without worrying whether or not the person being greeted actually celebrates Christmas. I have friends in the UK who aren't Christian, yet happily use and respond to 'Merry Christmas'.

In schools, children learn the Christmas story the way they learn about Diwali and other festivals. Of course, there is no separation of church and state and religious education is part of the curriculum, although parents do have the right to remove their children if they wish. In fact, very very few parents do so. (The only ones I have known have been Johovah's Witness families)

Maybe we are just very backwards and politically incorrect, but I am curious about this terminology and way of thinking. Since I came to the US I have missed the feeling that Christmas is Christmas - the holidays seem to be lumped in together with little attention to the details of differences. The commercialism is bad in the UK, but ten times greater here.

Am I just backwards? What is the history of the 'holiday' term? Has it always been used, or is it relatively new?

I"m rambling, so I'll stop before I get myself into hot water! Apologies if I'm just being very politically incorrect. Dh tells me that non-Christians here would be offended by Christmas greetings so I don't use them here, I want to respect the culture here and would hate to offend people, but it's a cultural difference that right now I don't get. And I miss being wished a 'Merry Christmas'! (Although we tend to follow the US and so maybe 'Happy Holidays' will catch on soon in the UK too
)

[MysticHealerMom]

welcome to the melting pot. I think Brits tend to be more dogmatic or traditional with their terms.My don't ya'll love your traditions. The word here is "change" and fast. Heck, in the UK they've got all those terribly old buildings that they don't just tear down and put up something safe, warm and gleaming. (teasing ).

Yes, I believe this is a politically correct term, and boy do we try to be as politically correct as we can.

It's relatively new in that I remember when we started using it, but as a child we said Merry Christmas. (I'm 35). So, maybe not so new At least in California. In other parts of the country, they probably still say Merry Christmas and don't get the Happy Holidays thing either.

Sort of to the point of terminology, I had a conversation with some Brits about the use of "man" for referring to a specific job that is no longer necessarily gender specific. And they thought it was too far a length to go to, changing terminology. I didn't agree. I think that using the term "mailman" to refer to a job that isn't a man, confuses the issue. For example, doctor or nurse, neither of which is gender specific, but we tend to stereotype those jobs by gender. Incidentally, the term is "postal carrier" or "mail person". And actor is gender neutral, no need for actress, but it does limit confusion at the academy awards :LOL

I prefer the term Happy Holidays, and have since it was adopted, and I don't feel it's lessoning Christmas at all. But, I'm not an authority on Christmas...

I think this issue is one of those fundamental differences between our cultures and I understand your issue, but I think we (if I can speak for other American-types) like it this way. We are conscious of it

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, Britishmum!!

Lori

[1jooj]

I use it...

I use Happy Holidays--for me, it's a personal reaction thing. I was never deeply invested in Christmas, and now I don't celebrate it myself. Since I like having the differences noticed, respectfully, I prefer the term. There are too many different holidays, with too many varied meanings, for me to be comfortable with wishing Christmas (or in my case, Eid) to others. I see it as a more outside-looking greeting. I actually find it a little uncomfortable to hear nothing but "Merry Christmas." Not offensive, but less wonderful than the more generic term.:

[asherah]

Well I have to say I really have come to hate the term "politically correct" as it belittles and dismisses attempts to be sensitive to others. It implies an inner eye-rolling, like "isn't it ridiculous that we have to do this just because THOSE PEOPLE would make a fuss?!"

I am not Christian, don't want to be Christian, feel annoyed by all the Christmas commercialism that is in my face for three months out of the year, and no.. I really don't want to be wished a Merry Christmas.

Now, will I freak out if someone says Merry Christmas to me? No..
I will probably just smile and say "same to you."

But yes.. I guess I find it somewhat annoying that Christians inwardly roll their eyes and accuse me of being "politically correct" because I don't want to be lumped in with them. It's like.. gee we're the majority in this country and we mean well, so why can't everyone else just get over it??

The attitude really makes me glad for the "political correctness" that preserves my rights as a minority.

[merebear]

If someone wishes me "Happy Holidays" I respond with "Merry Christmas" partly out of a desire not to be politically correct. I'm sorry, asherah, but I'm one of those who secretly rolls her eyes at everyone's need to tiptoe on eggshells lest they inadvertantly offend someone.

I say Merry Christmas because that is the holiday that I celebrate and I hope that the other person finds that day to be full of peace and joy... however they spend it. I don't follow it up with "And make sure you go to church that day!".

I would not be offended if a Jewish person wished me a Happy Hanukkah or an African-American a Happy Kwanzaa or a Pgan a Joyous Winter Solstice. I would be touched that they hope that that day is a special one for me... regardless of if I observe it the way they do. It makes me feel included.

Merry Christmas, to those who aren't offended by such sentiments.


(goodness, I've edited this thing so many times that I don't think it makes any sort of coherent thought... so I will not be surprised if my words are misinterpreted... I'm not sure I follow what I'm trying to say!)

[asherah]

Well, you will be offending me. That attitude by the majority DOES offend me.
But obviously that is not important to you.. much more important NOT to be "politically correct" ooooh shiver.

This is an attitude of such stubbprn majority priviledge that it astonishes me.

And I guess I'd better just check out of this thread so happy American Christians don't have to be "politically correct" and worry about the feelings/needs/religious sentiments of others.

And you wonder why people get offended by this insistance on Merry Christmas???

[asherah]

sorry for all the bad spelling. I shouldn't type when I am infuriated.

[Arduinna]

I have no idea what the history is behind the term Happy Holidays. I don't use it that frequently myself. When I am greeting someone and want to wish them well during a holiday time I usually use whatever term is appropriate to the holiday THEY celebrate. If I know they are Jewish I don't wish them Merry Christmas or Solstice Blessings. I personally find it self centered to wish someone well for a holiday I celebrate and they don't. If someone says Merry Christmas to me, I usually say it back though out of curtesy.

Having said that the term Happy Holidays doesn't bother me, and I've been known to use it when I am unsure of what specific holiday to use for a seasonal greeting.

[Greenfrogs]

I use happy holidays and so do most people around me (and nobody is rolling their eyes). To me it is not a matter of political correctness it is a matter of practicality. What I like is that in my area we seem to have shifted from a wide eyed politicality correct/curiousity/naivete to more of a celebration of all spirtual practice.

[gossamer]

For me it depends upon if I know the person well enough to know how they worship. My friends that I know are jewish, I wish them a Happy Hanukah, My friends that are Hindu, I wish them a happy Diwali, my friends that are CHristian, I wish them a Merry Christmas. If I do not know the person very well, (checker at the grocery store, bank teller etc...) I wish them a Merry CHristmas because that is what I celebrate. I am not fond of Happy Holidays and do not use it.

[Lil'M]

Just wanted to throw my two cents in:

I'm Jewish and while I am not offended if I am in public and a stranger says Merry Christmas and would probably either reply same to you or Happy Holidays, it IS annoying that others assume everyone celebrates Christmas. I think generally the greeting is meant to be polite, kind of like "have a nice day." But to really be a considerate greeting, one should greet a person with what is appropriate to THEM! Because I usually don't know what holiday a person celebrates (when at a store, etc), I just say Happy Holidays because I of all people am not going to assume everyone is Christian! When I see or talk to Christian friends on or near Dec. 25, I wish them Merry Christmas. For Jewish friends I wish them Happy Hannukah on Hannukah, and so on...

I think wishing someone a Merry Christmas who you KNOW or suspect does not celebrate it is not a considerate greeting. Happy Holidays is more all-purpose and less likely to offend. And isn't that the point of a greeting? To make someone feel comfortable? Not to proselytize them as though they ought to be celebrating what you celebrate?

[forestma]

boy, haven't been aroundhere in a while, but just want to say I really like what lilM wrote. This was also a topic of heated discussion at my dads house last year.

My dh is jewish, and now I, we go to my folks on Christmas to be with family on their holiday. It makes my dh uncomfortable to say "merry christmas" because of his conservative upbringing and this really insulted my stepmom, who always wishes us a happy hanukah. It was good we cleared the air about it.

I agree folks should not just say Merry Christmas to everyone without knowing if they celebrate it...I always just reply "merry christmas to you"

btw, I thought everyone said "happy christmas" in England!

[merebear]

And isn't that the point of a greeting? To make someone feel comfortable? Not to proselytize them as though they ought to be celebrating what you celebrate?

Oh, I agree completely! I should have made it clear that if I know what the person celebrates then I will wish them a joyous one of those.

Asherah, I'm trying to be sensitive, but I get the feeling that you are approaching the topic with a chip already on your shoulder, rather than a desire to hear different perspectives. For me, this has nothing to do with some perceived "majority privilege". I maintain that when someone wishes you a "Merry Christmas" they are simply hoping that you find December the 25th to be full of joy. Just like if someone were to wish me a "Happy Hanukah" I would not suspect them of asking me to renounce Christ.

[asherah]

Here is my last post.. in this thread and on Mothering.com.

NM- I have no objection whatsoever to Christians celebrating Christmas. I do not dispute your right to celebrate it however you see fit. Heck, I'd probably wish YOU a merry one.

What I object to is the insistance that it's perfectly fine to wish ME one.. or to use it as a default greeting to perfect strangers.
And I don't understand how someone as sensitive as you can't see what a slap that could be to those of minority religions.. particularly ones who might have issues with Christianity?
How does it spread any joy to wish people a Merry Christmas if they aren't celebrating it?
To some of us.. it feels oppressive, whether you MEAN it to be or not. And it seems to me that a caring, concerned person would rather err on the side of not making others uncomfortable instead of insisting on your right to wish everyone else a Merry Christmas, simply because you celebrate it.

MereBear-
Sorry, but I don't think you are trying to be sensitive at all. In fact,
you made it quite clear that you think being sensitive is just a form of "political correctness."
And that the only thing that matters is that YOU celebrate it.. so greeting others during this season is ALL ABOUT YOU.

And exactly what is it in the phrase Merry Christmas that means have a Joyous December 25-th to you? Christ-mas. Gee I always thought that had something to do with the day Jesus was supposedly born on. If it doesn't, why the heck should December 25-th be any more joyous than any other day? Why shouldn't we all go around wishing eachother Merry July 30-th or Merry March 12th? CAUSE ITS CHRISTMAS... when Christians celebrate the birth of the man they believe is the son of G-D and their savior.
For you to say otherwise is just a disingenuous crock.
And, no, I am not being gentle or mincing words anymore. IT IS A CROCK of Christian hegemony.

No need to admonish me, Cynthia, cause I'm already gone.

NM- I have always really watched my words about Christianity.. and mostly because of you. Because I know you love your religion and because you are a true seeker and believer and I always bit back any hostile words about Christianity because I never never wanted to hurt you or insult your beliefs.

But the truth is.. I do find it.. and many of its tenets.. oppressive. And the insistance that Merry CHRISTmas is somehow fine and appropriate as a generic greeting no matter what the religion/feelings of the one being greeted just really really sticks in my craw.

Asherah

[Super Pickle]

Britishmum, I'm with you on the term Happy Holidays. In some instances it is very appropriate; for instance, when you are addressing someone whom you know is Jewish, but you aren't informed enough to know if Hannukah has started yet or even if it's over :LOL. Otherwise wish them a happy Hannukah!

It's not the inclusiveness that gets me about the term HH, it's that it dilutes the significance of the season. The season is not supposed to be all about parties and shopping and eating sweets. It's supposed to be about something sacred.

Anyway, when it comes to Christmas cards, the only HH or "Season's Greetings" ones I send are to people whom I know conscientiously avoid Christmas, for one reason or another. Everyone else, whether committed Christian, cultural Chrisitan, nonreligious, or international "other" (my Japanese friends, especially, love to be included in American stuff) gets "Merry Christmas," because that's what I'm celebrating, and because the gift of the first Christmas was offered to everyone.

Asherah, I really hope you'll come back. I'd like to see you around again. I know sometimes we all need a break though.

[LoveBeads]

Hmmmmm, I'm almost afraid to respond but I'll bite....

I am Jewish and must say that when you are Jewish, you get used to being a minority in this country. I am not "offended" when someone wishes me a Merry Christmas but I do prefer that someone instead wishes me a Happy Holiday. I will admit that there have been times where I've gotten a bit testy - example I was at a counter in a store and the sales woman was very chatty and kept asking me if I had done all my Christmas shopping yet. I politely said, "yes" and left it at that. Then she wanted to know more details - did you have to buy a lot of gifts this year? Haven't the crowds been crazy? Were we going to be celebrating here or out of town? etc. I finally said, "we don't celebrate Christmas in our house" and she looked absolutely horrified. It was kind of surprising actually considering that I live in an area with an enormous Jewish population. Anyway, I didn't offer any other explanation and she recovered from her horror and started rattling off with "oh, I have cousins that don't give gifts at Christmas, they think it's so commercial, blah blah blah..." and I said "I didn't say I don't give gifts, I said I don't celebrate Christmas" and again I got the horrified look.

So, I guess it's hard for someone to understand unless they have been a minority. You get used to it but you also are thankful when people have a bit more sensitivity. It's not that we are going home every night seething with anger that people have wished us a Merry Christmas, we just would appreciate a bit of acknowledgement that not all of us celebrate the same way.

Peace and Happy Holidays to all,
LoveBeads

[merebear]

LoveBeads, your story about your experience at the store has me chuckling. :LOL Honestly, what was with that woman? I would have loved to have seen her expression... lol!

I do understand the feeling of not wanting to go into any lengthy and/or personal explanations of why you do things a certain way. Sometimes it takes too much energy and it's really none of their business anyway.

I hope that you had a very peace-filled and happy Hanukah. (I wish there was a candle icon!)

[hahamommy]

It's funny, as an American, to hear the term *political correctness* regarding a religious holiday :LOL (the ol' separation of church and state and all....)

I personally love to hear Merry Christmas and I'm sad I don't hear it more often. We all get the day off work (well not us moms but that's a different thread ), and it's usually filled with comfort food, whether we celebrate Jesus' birth or not, and that makes for a merry day in my book! It cracks me up to hear Santa proclaim Happy Holidays, when we *all* know which day he works on! It's a watered down, *I don't want to offend anyone* kind of statement, when in fact, if you're shopping these next two weeks and your purchases are splattered with *Christmas symbols* greeting you with *Merry Christmas* shouldn't be offensive.

Now for me, as a fledgling Pagan, we talk about Jesus' birth at our house. We talk about the lessons he brought to earth from the Creator. No, not that *he's* the end all be all, but that he came to teach us of our own godly conception, that we're *all* made in the image of who he called *Father* (whom we call other names in our home). We'll do tree decorating on Solstice (though we can't burn a log ) and talk of the origins of the X-mas tree; we did candle lighting for Hannukah and talked of the grace of God; I don't know Kwaanza, but I'm sure we'll learn about that, too; we talk of the traditional 12 days of Christmas and we celebrate Epiphany as the original gift-giving day (and MILs birthday).

We should not be afraid to be who we are and to express that. If Merry Christmas works for you, say it! If it's said to you, respond with whatever works for you! Geez, at this time of the year, more so than any other, we should listen to the lessons of the holidays and love each other!

~diana ild

[merebear]

>>>>BIGGGG SNIFFFF<<<<<

That's me gratefully taking in the breath of fresh air that hahamommy just brought in.

Diana, I hope that your family has a lot of fun decorating your tree on Solstice Day. I look forward to that day, too... to me it means that more daylight is on it's way. And that is always cause for celebration around here!!

[tara]

I never say 'Merry Christmas' to anyone. Honestly. I'm not Christian and not comfortable assuming that anyone else is. I do celebrate Christmas as a family day. It isn't a religious day for me, NM. Sorry if you resent that, but I can celebrate it anyway I like. I wouldn't ask you to stop celebrating it as a religious day. I don't care how anybody else celebrates it, as long as that celebration doesn't include ideas about what I should do.

I'm not offended by others saying "Merry Christmas" to me. Heck, even Asherah in her first post on this thread said

Now, will I freak out if someone says Merry Christmas to me? No.. I will probably just smile and say "same to you."

Lovebeads put it well, too:

So, I guess it's hard for someone to understand unless they have been a minority. You get used to it but you also are thankful when people have a bit more sensitivity. It's not that we are going home every night seething with anger that people have wished us a Merry Christmas, we just would appreciate a bit of acknowledgement that not all of us celebrate the same way.

Not all of us celebrate the same way. It is sensitive and appreciated for those in the majority to behave out of that awareness.