WOW. where has the time gone?? 6 years ago today I found out i was carrying twins. I also found out they had TTTS MY girls were perfect to me. And I didnt know anything about this disease. I had a doctor who wouldnt answer any questions. ON AUg 31 my water broke, and just after midnight sept 1, I gave birth to my precious stillborn babies. Funny how the time goes on. FOr me it seems times get tougher every year and not better. I dont understand this. This year I am really struggling and i think it is because I will be out of town and unable to visit the cemetary on thier birthday. I also now explain to my other children ages 18 months to 4, that I had babies before i had them. When will this hurt stop?? I would give anything to be with them. I just want to hold them, and tell them I am sorry I didnt fight harder for them. We have had 3 living children and several miscarrages since then. We are ttc but that is not going well, and I wonder, was I just meant to have the 5 girls i have had? I want the day to day struggle to end. I want to celebrate the short 5 months I had with them in my womb, and not cry for them. I want to be able to move on.. Is that possible?? I cant beleive i could b e the mom of y6 year old twins. It amazes me. Rachel and Rebecca are so much apart of my family. even though me and hubby are the onl ones who recognize that
I will be spending the first anniversary of their birth/death with my inlaws who laready think I am nuts. I dotn know how i iwll handle this. I just am so mixed up.
I am sorry this is so scattereed. I havent written about them in a LONG time, and It seems to build.
If you read this thank you for lending me your shoulder for a few moments!!
I will be spending the first anniversary of their birth/death with my inlaws who laready think I am nuts. I dotn know how i iwll handle this. I just am so mixed up.
I am sorry this is so scattereed. I havent written about them in a LONG time, and It seems to build.
If you read this thank you for lending me your shoulder for a few moments!!
