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The pagan misfit (yes I am refering to myself :-) )

post #1 of 42
Thread Starter 
Ok, your officially warned this is gonna be a ramble, lol.

Maybe it's just because I grew up in liberal CA?? Maybe it's because I'm facinated by history?? Maybe it's because I have too much info in my pea brain?? Maybe it's a product of the growing pains paganism is going through??

Anyway, I'm just feeling like such a spiritual misfit lately. I just can't seem to find my place. I am very liberal politically (surprise) and have heavy pacifist leanings. But I find the prayers and methods of worship in the past really important (ok I'm just following direction). But I can't deal with the new conservatives that dominate the traditionalist pagan groups. I love the wheel of the year. My Goddess doesn't have any festival days in the herotai. I've pretty much stopped posting at my favorite pagan place, because I'm not eclectic enough or conservative enough to really fit in.

anyway, not sure of this is just a vent. I'm not mad or anything. Just feeling a bit lonely I guess.
post #2 of 42

I AM CORNHOLIO!

Sorry, just had to respond to the Beavis and Butthead DDDDC line! :LOL

I know how ya feel chickie! Though I've always felt this way (spiritual explorer), this is my first Holiday Season out of the broom closet. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, but I know what I need will come to me. It may not look like or feel like what I'm asking for, but what I truly *need* spiritually will come my way and I'm sure it's true for you.

~diana
post #3 of 42
Thread Starter 
O/T Who's cornholio????? I've never watched Beevis and Butthead......DDDDC got me anyway, lol
post #4 of 42
T My favorite episode: B&B go to pick up a buddy before school, the mom leaves the room; Beavis goes thru the cupboards and ODs on sugar. The rest of the show he has his T-shirt pulled up so his face only is out the headhole and he talks in this freaky mexican voice screetching *I am Cornholio, I need olio for my bungholio* and other assorted funnies. This was the first cartoon I ever saw that dealt with Sugar as a drug :LOL

~diana ild
post #5 of 42
Thread Starter 
LOL
post #6 of 42
Arduinna,

I usually feel out of place in most pagan groups- I'm not Wiccan, not even sure what path, if any specific one I will eventually follow. My beliefs actually lean a lot towards Eastern philosophies like Taoism, so I guess I am a spiritual conglomoration of many things.

You're not alone in your lonelyness!
post #7 of 42
Thread Starter 
Thanks Khris :-)
post #8 of 42
Arduinna--

You seem like less of a misfit than me. You seem to have proper things you do, rituals, offerings etc.
Whereas I find the world of spirituality to be so broad and fascinating, how can I decide on one way to practice?
I feel I would be now just as comfortable and interested receiving communion in a catholic church right now ( now knowing that the Mithraites had the same sacrament), as I would be chanting and drumming in a Krishna Consciousness temple. And then, I get the same groovy feeling at an Other Ones concert (former members of the Dead), with a different kind of eucharist!

It's like when I was a kid, someone would ask me, what is your favorite color/movie, and I would know what to answer. Now I have lists, it depends on my mood which one stands out.

So I have started going to a UU church. well, it was dh and dd's idea, and I don't go every week. And it does seem almost too bland and non-denominational to me. But the people are very nice.
post #9 of 42
Thread Starter 
How are you liking UU?? I wish our local UU had a CUPPS chapter, but it doesn't.
post #10 of 42
I hear you. Do you think the whole point is to go it alone? I often think that.
post #11 of 42

Well you are not

alone in your loneliness!
I am so eclectic I don't even register! Dh is comfortable with the CUUPS group and I more comfortable with another group ( not cuups) but they are almost an hour away and they have something every fri night
However being down to one car by fri I am tired of going ( driving him to work and home because I need the car for whatever) and don't want to go out at night in the cold ...
sorry for the tangent LOL
but you are not alone in your loneliness too bad you are not closer by !
post #12 of 42
ooh ooh ooh, me too.

I am just beginning to wander down the pagan path. I agree that it is difficult to find a place to fit in.

Ladylee, I agree to a certain extent that going it alone is part of the journey and I find a lot of peace in that. However, it would be nice to have a little company once in a while. Then again I am just trying to work things out for myself so being alone is great. Ok I feel dizzy.

Adriunna, what exactly do you mean by conservative. My cousin is pagan of which path I have no idea. He is pretty conservative economically, but very liberal socially. Do you mean conservative poltically or conservative in spirtual practice.
post #13 of 42
Thread Starter 
Lee: Shoot I've always been going it alone. And I don't really mind going it alone, but it would be nice to talk to people who practice as I do sometimes.

CL thanks :-)

Greenfrogs I'm glad you asked. Because it is a bit confusing. I don't fit in with the political pagan conservatives at all. God and Country and all that. I just don't get the "warrior" mentality.

I also don't fit with the spiritual conservatives. Not completely anyway. They remind me of conservative christianity. I have the one true way and I own my pantheon.

if I say anthing more it would be offensive, so I will stop here.
post #14 of 42
Hopefully I will not offend.

I to have seen a "fundamentalist" movement within pagan movements. I believe to some extent it is means to become more accepted by the wider population. I understand the intent, but I think (based on my reading) that even historically paganism by difintion if free formed. At least one book I read discussed the openness of the greek and roman religion to various gods and religious practice. The only rule was that you had to pay some homage to the emperor's god.
post #15 of 42
Thread Starter 
Yes, good points.

Part of the problem with the "fundementalist pagans" is that paganism does and did not exist in a vaccuum. And it spanned wide ranges of time and place. And even if you limit to one community there is still the issue of time. Let alone the issue of not actually living there, having different knoweldge of the world ect.
post #16 of 42
Hmmmm interesting about the conservatism.
I certainly wouldn't fit in there, either.

I've been a solitary for a long time because I too am very eclectic.. and I primarily worship a Goddess many people haven't even heard of. Sometimes Asherah isn't even listed on Goddess sites. Plus most groups are just too dogmatic for me.

We have just started celebrating the Sabbats with a small, very eclectic group.. no dogma.. we alternate leading rituals, so they can have a Wiccan, Celtic, Kabbalistic.. even Santerian feel depending whose turn it is. We are all Polytheists of one sort or another and we all worship both Goddess and God.. that's what binds us together. And we are certainly not politically conservative.

I have only just now started to reach out via e-mail to other Pagans in my area.. and it is because of Ds. I want him to have community.. to have people to celebrate with.. to have friends who are also being raised around these traditions, so he doesn't feel left out or isolated during the holiday season.

I wish all of you lived near me so we could celebrate IRL!
post #17 of 42
Thread Starter 
O/T Asherah I'm glad your back darn board lost my post on your other thread.

Anyway, I agree I wish we all did live closer. I never would have thought it would be so hard to find like minded souls. Or maybe I'm just to picky, lol

Your group sounds great. I have a tendency to not play well with others
post #18 of 42
Asherah,

Great to see you back.

Your group sounds great. I have look for something similar in my area, but no luck. You would think in eclectic san francisco it would be easy.

I was thinking. There are a few here that I know are history nuts with too much information in the pea brains (sorry arduinna, I often feel this way myself) or a doing a lot of searching and researching. Would anyone be interested in an online book club research group with a pagan bias? I read a book or two lately that I would have loved to discuss with someone. I am open to just about any topic. Any takers?
post #19 of 42
Thread Starter 
I'm game :-)
post #20 of 42
Very cool...I will do some browsing this weekend and maybe I can stumble upon something interesting.
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