Sad Visit at the RE

[kelly]

Well, friends, I don't know how much longer I'll be here at the MDC boards.

Went to the RE again this morning after 9 failed IUI attempts, four of them on Clomid, and still not pg.

RE advised laparoscopy , then injectable hormones .

The laparoscopy I can handle - it's kind of scary, but I might have endo or something that she could fix. It will also likely be covered by my insurance.

BUT.........If she finds nothing obviously wrong, she will say "do the injectables". There is no way that I can do injectables. The cost of the hormones alone she told me is around $1000 per month, and is *not* covered by my insurance. On top of the already $500 or so I spend per month on IUI and bloodwork this is impossible. I'm not made of money. I already work a second job just to support my ttc habit!!

Soooooooo....... I will probably have the lap done next month sometime (assuming, and it's a safe assumption, that the IUI I have done this Thursday doesn't work). If my doctor still finds nothing wrong, I think I am going to have to stop ttc and seek other means of having children in my life. This is heartbreaking for me. One of my friends has been saving baby clothes for me for a year now.

It hurts me too much to continue to come here as much as I have been this past year, now that I have so little hope left. Best of luck to all of you in your ttc adventures - may all your dreams come true!

Kelly

[Arduinna]

I am so sorry HUGE (((HUGS)) to you.

[AdinaL]

OH honey. I am so sorry. You can have all of my baby vibes for this month!!! I will pull for this to be your month!!!
lots of love and hugs to you!!!

[Annais]

((((kelly))))

I'm so sorry,
But please don't give up hope.

I had a laparoscopy in October, so if you have any questions, I'd be glad to tell you about my experience.
Take care of yourself

[Jish]

So sorry to hear your news. I hope everything goes well next month. You will be in our thoughts.

[OceanMomma]

Oh Kelly that is so sad for you if you do end up having a laproscopy (sp?) make sure you have a few hot water bottles on hand as you get icky pains in your shoulders afterwards for a few days.

If there is nothing wrong, may I suggest acupuncture & also checking to see if you have any mild bacterial infections. Do a google search on Atila Toth & read some of his stuff. He can be a bit wacky at times but worth a shot.

I have no tubes left so have to have IVF. My RE is always enthusing about my fertility rate. I actually reckon it's acupuncture. Before acupuncture I had 6 failed attempts ( 1 chemical & 5 thaws ), 1 ectopic pregnancy & one late loss. I remember full well how stressful all those drugs & injections & daily blood tests are when you just don't get pregnant. Makes you feel totally on the edge & so depressed.

After I discovered acupuncture. I have had 1 baby & am currently 12 weeks pregnant with #2 from the thawed embryo from the chemical cycle which gave me Saffron. I felt far more positive during the whole process as I was taking a bit of control myself. I'll be 38 in april so I didn't have time on my side. I am also very careful with my nutrition whilst ttc.

Best of luck with your IUI this thursday

[Aurora]

Oh Kelly! I am so sorry! You are in my prayers sister!

[Wooby]

Kelly,
I am so sorry. It is a very difficult journey you are on. Please keep coming to the boards to seek support, whatever road you take. My thoughts are with you...:better

[naturegirl]

Kellt,
Don't give up girl! I am sorry to hear that you are having such a hard time conceiving. Have you tried chiropractic, acupuncture or massage. We've had a few "surprise" pregnancies in our office. (chiro)
And..."alternative" healthcare is much more affordable than medical care!
Sending you all my love and prayers.

[mommybritt]

Oh, Kelly, I'm sorry you're feeling so down. I remember the feeling all too well. I had a lap in November 1999 and they found that my tubes were blocked (although my HSG had been fine) and unblocked them and that solved the problem! I hope you have a similar experience.

Do have the lap, it's well worth it but I need to let you know that you will feel absolutely awful afterwards for at least 3-5 days. I felt like I was going to die when I woke up from that surgery and I had no idea that it was going to be that bad. Apparently gyno surgeries are the hardest and leave people in pretty bad shape. Make sure you have someone to stay with you for the first few days and book time off work, etc.

Good luck to you.

[karenpl]

{{{ KELLY }}}

So sorry that it wasn't a more positive visit for you. I am sprinkling you with lots of extra sticky baby dust, and will send conceiving and fertility thoughts your way!

Karen

[Benjismom]

Kelly:

I'm sorry to hear about everything you've been through. I know how demoralizing this whole process can be.

I realize you may decide against injectibles for other reasons, but I may be able to help if the meds are the main stumbling block. I don't know what the policy is here regarding discussing medication donation (which is technically illegal) so I'm a little nervous even mentioning this. I have a supply of Gonal-F and Ovidrel (a trigger drug) which I ended up not needing when I got pregnant right before I was supposed to start an injectibles cycle. Please PM me if you're interested; the meds have been refrigerated since I received them and do not expire until the end of next year. I have been wanting to donate them to someone who doesn't have insurance coverage, which I was lucky enough to have.

[Viola]

[PumpkinSeeds]

[MamaSoleil]

Will be thinking about you!!!!

Mamasoleil

[kelly]

Thanks Everyone - your support sure helps me when I'm down. I am going in for my 10th IUI this afternoon. I had 3 follicles yesterday when I got my trigger shot, so here's to keeping my fingers crossed!!

I am scheduled for laparoscopy on Jan 29th. I sure hope it could be something as fixable as blocked tubes or adhesions. MilkfaceMama - your story was inspiring, with your normal HSG like I had. Thanks for the heads-up on the aftercare... I figured I'd be sore, but didn't realize it would take so much out of me.

So far I haven't looked into acupuncture or chiro, but I will probably do so if the doc can't find anything wrong internally. I already have lower back issues that I've been intending on addressing with chiro anyway.

So, I'm hanging in there.

Kelly

[Annais]

Good luck today, kelly!

Not to diminish MilkfaceMama's experience with the lap, but I had one and a recession ( I think that's what they called it) in October, and felt a lot better afterwards than I thought I would. They gave me percocet and I only ended up taking one the first day, the rest are in my medicine cabinet.
So, you never know!

[coolermama]

Kelly,

I dropped out for a while. I couldn't handle the stress of ttc.

I am back on now. Any chance of some low tech sperm and a sterile syringe once you exhaust the other options you can afford barely).

A single Lesbian Mum I know recently adopted a Baby Girl From china, so there
is that road.

I just tried again after a 6 month hiatus ( the old fashioned syringe (no clomid, no nothing). Then we are goin on to higher tech.

Take care, Love and be in touch if you want.

Love Anne