Tell me how your challenging, high-energy, imaginative child did/does at Montessori.

[Bearsmama]

Hi Mamas,

DS (3.7 yo) is set to start at a Montessori school in about a month. He will be going 5 mornings/week.

DS is incredibly challenging, high-energy, smart, and likes to do a lot of pretend-play. I am a bit worried about the "real" vs. pretend thing, and I don't want school to take this vibrant part of his play away from him. On the other hand, DS has little structure to his play, and I am anxious to see him thrive (hopefully!) in a Montessori environment.

What has your experience been? Do you have a spirited child who is now attending Montessori? Is your DC into a lot of pretend play? And if so, how did this play out in the more "practical" Montessori environment?

TIA

[flyingspaghettimama]

First of all, do you know if your school is AMI or AMS? Sometimes it makes a difference, sometimes not. What's your vibe on the teacher?

My very sensitive, social, and imaginative daughter did very well her first couple of years due to great teachers. I really think it comes down to teachers and their understanding of children. Montessori will NOT take away their imagination - mine is as imaginative as they come and spent today being Charlie from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, when not producing puppet shows. However, they do learn that different places tend to have different rules; so at school perhaps one thing will be expected to behave one way while at home another...I think it's normal. I act differently (better, I'd LIKE to think ) at work than with my friends or family. She actually had a hard time at camps this summer where the behavioral expectations are very different.

The teachers really don't always interfere in imaginative play, despite the rumors. At least ours didn't. I think most teachers have realized the advances in behavioral psychology regarding children's imaginary worlds. Just because there's no dramatic play area doesn't mean they won't still be playing nail salon with the color boards...I think there will be adjustment, but a lot is socialization differences (i.e. not being forced to share; the idea of choice and responsibility in their "work"; control over voices and feet; empathy instead of forced "say you're sorry"; taking guidance from older children and helping younger ones...etc).

[addax]

Welcome, we're going through this together! My challenging just-four year old boy will be starting up in a VERY SMALL Montessori next month. There are only 12 kids 2-5, with an AMI accredited teacher and a teacher's assistant. We are hoping for the best! His first experience of any group activity was quite rigid swimming lessons this past summer, and those did NOT go well: we pulled him out.

[ebethmom]

My *spirited* ds just turned four, and also just started at a Montessori preschool. So far, so good. At least as far as I know. I've been to observe, and dh has been to observe. When I was standing behind the mirrored windows, I watched him squirm through singing a song with the group then cooperate beautifully in a circle activity.

When it was time to choose their work, his buddy beat him to the easel. So ds wandered around the room making monster faces. He wasn't disrupting anyone's work, so his teacher let him roam. I just about cracked up when he stopped at the mirrored window and used it as a mirror for some gruesome faces!

I really like the supportive discipline plan. I looked for a Montessori school with this in mind. I knew that if ds went to the church-run preschool down the road, he would spend a good deal of time in the time-out chair.

We've had a minor issue with dismissal. My ds insists that he is big enough to walk across the parking lot without holding Miss Kelly's hand. But that's the rule. Kids *have* to hold an adult's hand when they cross the alley. After several days of struggling and raging, ds agreed to cooperate with Miss Kelly in exchange for a special treat. I'm not sure how I feel about that kind of reward, but for the time being it worked.

[mamaley]

. I am a bit worried about the "real" vs. pretend thing, and I don't want school to take this vibrant part of his play away from him.

I'm not sure what you mean by this exactly, but I hear things like this from other parents about montessori here. I just wanted to say that we have never had an issue with play at his school...on the playground (and there is lots of play time) kids play whatever they want. Lots of pretend play going on, etc.