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Short tempered GD tribe?  

post #1 of 85
8/28/05 at 3:32pm
Thread Starter 
This is my first (I think) post in GD. I'm just wondering if there are any other short fused mamas out there.

I was raised in a home with a short fuse (my dad's) and I definitely inherited it. I can't stand commotion or chaos, screaming, whining, fighting, they all push me over the edge. My Dad was a screamer and while he never touched us or called us names or swore the sheer volume of his yelling felt like abuse. His moods ruled our house. I see so much of my dad in myself and I need to change it before I pass on the legacy.

Sometimes I feel like I don't really need to learn how to discipline my kids, I need to learn how to discipline myself.

Anyone else out there like me? Anyone have some good newbie resources?
post #2 of 85
8/28/05 at 5:08pm
I lack patience as well. I used to be very patient but am very pressured lately. Many different situations which makes me on edge all the time.
post #3 of 85
8/28/05 at 5:27pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sheena
This is my first (I think) post in GD. I'm just wondering if there are any other short fused mamas out there.

Sometimes I feel like I don't really need to learn how to discipline my kids, I need to learn how to discipline myself.
: I totally feel like I need to learn to discipline myself rather than my kids.
post #4 of 85
8/28/05 at 5:38pm
You're not alone. I grew up in the same type of home. We had a rough couple of years both financially and emotionally until this year. My dh is in a great job w/a future and my biz is booming. However, all the busyness can still render me short fused. I need to take time for MEMEME. I forget to do it, as I'm always looking after everyone else. That's what really saves me. Dh works 2 jobs=16+ hrs a day and so I'm simillar to a single mom for 5 days a week. It can be tough. I just reassure myself that it's only temporary. This time next year I will have replaced one of his incomes and we will be on an even better path. So, hang in there and remember to take time for YOU!
post #5 of 85
8/28/05 at 6:17pm
Ditto for my home environment as a kid, and for feeling like most good discipline moments come from a parent modeling conflict resolution in a positive way. That is, it starts with me. I really related with the book Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline, which talks about parental self-control and conflict resolution skills explicitly.
post #6 of 85
8/29/05 at 1:31am
Oh this is exactly what I needed today!!! I feel like a complete AP fraud lately. I was raised in a spanking, yelling household & though I never felt abused, I am now seeing the negative effects on me. Anytime DS does anything wrong my 1st reaction is to yell or swat at him : It makes me crazy. Plus it doesn't help that I do have a short fuse. I guess it is time to pull out some GD books & start reading again. It is nice to see that I am not the only one here. I hope we can keep this thread going. It would be nice to have a support system
post #7 of 85
8/29/05 at 1:33am
me too.....a little short on patience sometimes. I yell way more than I want to. I've really been trying to work on it. Sometimes. the kids make you so crazy though. Sometimes I wonder how anyone keeps their cool.
Amy
post #8 of 85
8/29/05 at 1:43am
Quote:
Originally Posted by maciascl
Oh this is exactly what I needed today!!! I feel like a complete AP fraud lately. I was raised in a spanking, yelling household & though I never felt abused, I am now seeing the negative effects on me. Anytime DS does anything wrong my 1st reaction is to yell or swat at him : It makes me crazy. Plus it doesn't help that I do have a short fuse.
This is me! I'm trying, though... does that count?!
post #9 of 85
8/29/05 at 1:50am
You have no idea how badly i needed to read this thread! I am 32 weeks preggy and have NO patience with my 22 month old DD. I was raised in a home where spanking was the rule and it has been lurking in my mind. It seems like the first thing i think to do these days is swat, which is NOT how i want to discipline my child!!! Counting to 10 seems to help, but i definately need to read some books on GD. Any suggestions, especially for 2 children? Thank you so much for being honest and opening up. It helps to know im not the only one who feels like a poser in regards to AP!!!
post #10 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:29am
Quote:
Originally Posted by roseselene
Sometimes I wonder how anyone keeps their cool.
Amy

Easy, there medicated :LOL : At least thats what I tell myself to make me feel better
post #11 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:40am
IM in!

Im an only child raised by a single dad. um can we say serenity? So raising 2 girls 21 months apart is constant chaos which drives me to the edge.
I pay then to be quiet.
now that they are 5 and 7 its alittle better but it used to be un bearable
post #12 of 85
8/29/05 at 11:20am
I have a short fuse with certain things, like when my dds are fighting, screaming or not cleaning up after HOURS of being told to clean their mess. I can feel myself getting upset and I try to separate myself when I feel that way. (time out for mommy) It's nice to know other mamas feel the same way. It helps knowing I'm not alone.
post #13 of 85
8/29/05 at 2:58pm
Yes, I definitely can be short tempered. Especially when it is bedtime or naptime, where I am looking forward to a bit of peace and quiet for a little while and so I just want them to go to sleep! My two year old is pinching and scratching and taking it out on our cat and her baby sister so, though I can be patient for a while with it, it gets hard the millionth time she has thrown a book at the cat and pinched the baby's feet and then spilled her water everywhere on purpose and kicked the cats water over! I do run out of GD ideas and end up exasperated and yelling!

So, yes, count me in!
post #14 of 85
8/29/05 at 3:00pm
Thread Starter 
Whew. I was afraid this thread would sit there like an albatross.

I'm not glad you all are having struggles but I am glad I'm not alone!

I need techniques, resources for anger management, KWIM? Oh, and some guilt counselling since I am always drowning in guilt.
post #15 of 85
8/29/05 at 3:30pm
You're definitely not alone. I seem to have a very short fuse, and when I get to the boiling-over point I don't know how to stop myself. I need tips and techniques too - I do not want to raise my DD with fear of mama's blow-ups.
post #16 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:07pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by phaeon
I'm trying, though... does that count?!
It better count or we are all in trouble
post #17 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:14pm
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aka mommy
...but i definately need to read some books on GD. Any suggestions, especially for 2 children?
I haven't read through the whole thing but here is a thread with a list of suggested books on GD http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=115037 I have not completely read any GD books, but I often skim through the Discpline Book by Dr Sears. It is quite helpful. I am also reading Raising Your Spirited Child which is excellent if anyone has spirited children
post #18 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:19pm
It must a bad time of the year. I am normally very patient--with kids at least. But lately I, too, have been more inclined to yell and shout.

The whining pushes me over the edge too. I can handle it for awhile, and then it just breaks me. Couple this with a PL setback, and we are all set my mom breakdown :LOL I am a single mom too so I do not even get a break around the evening witching hour--I have to keep plugging through to bedtime. Naptime is usually saving grace, but is quickly going the way of diapers.

Anyhow, you are not alone. I hope now that I have confronted this, I will be more committed to stopping it before it starts. I just need to head off getting irritated. Because it is normally my irritation that causes me to get frustrated and mad.

Something that has worked for me the last view days is the Playful Parenting type of reaction. When my son is whining, I try to immediately head it off with redirection or try to get us both laughing. The latter immediately changes my mood from pissed off and irritated to giggly and happy. For him, it is tickling. He is super ticklish, and loves to be chased (well, pretend chase really in this apt) and tickles, let go and redo. I found that once I found what worked for him, some situations got easier. Of course this is not fool proof.

I also find walking out of the room (if baby is safe alone for a minute) for a minute works nicely too as it allows me to refocus.

But then there are times when nothing seems to work, and I get awfully frustrated too. You are not alone. :

I definitely recommend Playful Parenting. I also love Marshall Rosenberg's Nonviolent Communication (an excellent read). I am reading How to Talk So Kids Will Listen know, and I have high hopes
post #19 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:38pm
Count me in!

I am NOT a morning person so I've started doing a yoga tape w/the kids every morning. YEA But, not this morning. : Back on the wagon tomorrow.
post #20 of 85
8/29/05 at 4:49pm
I'm working very, very hard at controlling my temper. I'm not always successful.
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