Need to vent at about others ignorance

[Aka mommy]

So i just got home from a baby shower for a sweet girl I know. I usually cannot stand these things anyways as having all that estrogen in one room always intimidates me (you think i'd be use to it with 5 sister lol). But i went and of course came home boiling.

A few of the people who were there know that im doing a homebirth (i only tell im having a homebirth when asked where ill be delivering) and have known for months. Of course they put up the usual 'Are you crazy?' "you're so brave" and all the other uninformed argument/ remarks. Which i was able to politely refute with facts and statistics and personal experience. I thought they had dealt with it as it hasnt come up. Well every single one of them came up to me and asked "Are you still planning on a homebirth???" What in the world??? UGHHHH. I would never go up to someone and say " Are you still planning on having a repeat c section?"

And to top all of this off, my sister who hasnt called me in over a month called as i walked in the door. We talked a bit and then she asked me "So are you still planning on trying a homebirth?" Why is it such a hard concept for others to grasp?? There is no trying and there is no changing of my mind. And it irratates the crap out of me that my own sister would dare to have the gall to try to plant a seed of doubt in my mind about suceeding at something my body is perfectly capable of donig. I suppose i should count my blessings that i didnt have to hear her for the hundreth time say "I have to have an epi when i give birth, i want to enjoy my labors and deliveries"

Maybe its just these preggy hormones or the 100 degree heat while being 32 weeks. But i had to vent because if i dont i'll just stew about it and get stressed out and neither me nor jellybean need that. Thanx for listening.

[taosmom]

Send them any of Sheila Kitzinger's books and hopefully their eyes will be opened! I'm so sorry you're going through this-I don't even know you and I know you have a homebirth! Strange, huh? Sometimes the brainwashing is too deep and you just can't be the one to reach them...you don't need to take on their fear, just remember-you're the one who knows what's really going on and when they're ready, they'll turn to you for advice on where to find a midwife for their next baby!!! Oh, and here's a hug:

[amanda2b2]

Doesn't it frive you crazy!!!!
my grandmother came today and I told her. I didn't come right out and say it was what I wanted but more or less told her that since the birth center was so far my midwife thought it would be much safer to just stay here. lol She was fine with it. She was a little nervous about the fact that the birth center was an hour away but i told her if there was an emergency we wouldn't go there but to the local hospital anyway. I expected a LOT worse and the conversation went ptretty easy <phew>


OT- When is your baby due I have an Oct 2003 baby, he was born ob the 23rd and another due in on OCt 15. I haven't seen you on the DIO board have I? You should come join us.

[Aka mommy]

OT- When is your baby due I have an Oct 2003 baby, he was born ob the 23rd and another due in on OCt 15. I haven't seen you on the DIO board have I? You should come join us.[/QUOTE]



I am due the 24th of october. And that is so trippy cuz my dd was born on October 15 (her due date had been oct 11)!! Which board is the DIO? Im soooo new to MDC im still exploring. If you're referring to the due in october 05 board i've been keeping up with it for the last few weeks, but only posting occassionaly. Im on the list for due dates i believe. Thanks for the invite & the response.

[Sagesgirl]

Next time someone asks you that, tell them you changed your mind, you're now going to go out to the country and squat in a field to give birth. Bonus points if you can say it with a perfectly straight face.

I think since I started this whole (UC) homebirth thing by telling everyone I was going to squat out in my backyard to give birth, no one's too bothered by the idea of a homebirth. Either that, or they know me well enough by now to keep their mouths shut. I'll take either one. (But I haven't told them I do fully intend to give birth outside, preferably in a pool on the back porch.)

[shelley4]

i feel your pain.. when i was pg with DS, i swear, every single time i saw my MIL, she'd ask, 'are you sure you don't want to go to the hospital?' in her icky oh so concerned voice... grrr argh!

[taosmom]

Originally Posted by Sagesgirl

Next time someone asks you that, tell them you changed your mind, you're now going to go out to the country and squat in a field to give birth. Bonus points if you can say it with a perfectly straight face.

I think since I started this whole (UC) homebirth thing by telling everyone I was going to squat out in my backyard to give birth, no one's too bothered by the idea of a homebirth. Either that, or they know me well enough by now to keep their mouths shut. I'll take either one. (But I haven't told them I do fully intend to give birth outside, preferably in a pool on the back porch.)

Hilarious and Amazing!

[Aka mommy]

Im still laughing. Thank you so much for the much needed laugh. I may just start telling people im going to go up to Tahoe (as i live near lake tahoe) and try to birth in Emerald Cove. Hee hee. They'd probably believe me. We just told our BIL last night that we would be birthing at home and the first thing he said? "Are you going to eat the placenta too?" Lol!!!!!! Thanks for letting me vent and for turning this into something that im going to laugh at the next time someone asks me about birthing at home

[taosmom]

YOU ROCK!!! And maybe you should tell your BIL about lotus birth!!!

[SunRayeMomi]

I am sooooo glad I didn't have to deal with any relatives asking me insincere questions about having a HB! But I tend to be a little overzealous about being "different", so I would tell anyone that would listen about it. And of course I caught a lot of flack from som people. There was a man at work that overheard me telling a friend aoubt HB, and he came over to tell me that he would "never" let his wife do that. I told him that if I was his wife (yeah, right) I would have left him by now. Sometimes i think I seek out the confrontation, but then that gives me a chance to spread the truth, I guess!! Of course I do it for everything.. my tattoos, peircings. People always ask me what's up with my lip ring, and I excaim "I dunno! I just woke up this morning and it was there!" teeheee

[wek524]

Sometimes I'm just amazed by how insensitive people can be. Last night I made the mistake of telling a friend/acquaintance that we are planning a homebirth. Her immediate response was to launch into this story about her cousin who gave birth at home and the baby was breech so she ended up bleeding like crazy and almost died before they made it to the hospital.
I just stood there dumbfounded for like a minute and then changed the subject. This woman seemed like the kind of person who would be open and supportive of the idea. But I guess I just need to be more careful about who I tell. I get so excited about it and just want to tell everyone. But then I expect everyone to be as excited as I am and that's just not realistic. So anyway, I guess I've learned my lesson.

[writermommy]

Women have been programmed for years to believe they need a doctor or a hospital to deliver a baby. This probably started when doctors decided to take over birthing children and spent a lot of time and money discrediting midwives and promoting themselves as being the only safe way to have a baby. The mamas here are smart enough to see through the rhetoric and take back control of their birth experiences. Unfortunately, the brainwashing is pervasive in society, which is why others feel they "must" warn us of the dangers.