OT: Somewhat new addition to the family

[wagodog]

Although I was SURE that this was going to be a boy, and that I'd be able to show my brother how much better it would've been to leave his son intact, we ended up having another baby girl. Born on August 2, I am slowly coming out of my haze. (Wife is still in the midst of round-the-clock feedings and so it'll be a while for her.) Anyway, as this is one of the two forums in which I post, I figured I'd share the news and for anyone interested, the links to some photos:

http://home.earthlink.net/~emma_p/

For anyone interested in how she'll probably turn out, you can check out her sister's page (link on the site) since at similar ages, they're looking almost identical.

chuong (who can't believe that he's now a papa to TWO girls)

[njeb]

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl!!! Best wishes to all of you.

[Mommiska]

Congratulations! Your new daughter (as well as your older one!) is adorable!

[PuppyFluffer]

Congratulations! You have amazingly beautiful children!

[Quirky]

Congratulations! Your family is just beautiful! Hope you're enjoying your babymoon!

[jenP]

Congratulations!

Jen

[wagodog]

Thanks everyone! Last night was another low sleep part of our "babymoon".

[MonicaS]

Congratulations!! You have gorgeous family.

I'm sure my DH hears you on the "another girl" thing.

[Paddington]

really cute! congrats! i haven't even gotten pregnant with my second yet and am already preparing myself to NOT have a girl. no one around me i having girls, all boys! but, very true, as long as baby is happy and healthy and WHOLE, does it really matter if it is XX or XY?

[jenP]

Originally Posted by wagodog

Thanks everyone! Last night was another low sleep part of our "babymoon".

I hear you! Sometimes it is more like "baby boot camp" rather than a "babymoon!"
re: a boy or a girl, I really thought I wanted a girl, and DD really wanted a sister, and though I didn't have any idea what I was carrying I was seriously afraid that if it was a boy that I would be disappointed, and that would be so unfair to him. But as soon as he was born, all worries were gone, there was not a trace of feeling disappointed like I was afraid I might. I am so glad to have a boy, this boy!
And though when I was pregnant I actually said to DH, "well, one good thing about if it's a boy is we will have an intact boy," I underestimated just how GOOD this would feel. I swear, every day I feel so good knowing that he is whole and has never been harmed and so GLAD I found the information before I had kids. It feels like my maternal instincts are so fulfilled, knowing I didn't let anyone harm him. Of course, I didn't let anyone harm DD either, but then again there wasn't a vast social conspiracy out to try to make me harm her, so there wasn't that same sense of feeling that I successfully PROTECTED her, since no one was trying to hurt her in the first place, kwim?
So, Wagodog, a daughter can be just as good an advert for intactness. YOu could just keep saying to your brother, "I am so glad we decided not to circumcise (or infibulate) DD!" and when he says, "well, duh, of course you didn't, why would you circ a girl?" you can say, "well, why on earth would you circ a boy???"

[wagodog]

I joked about the whole "another girl" thing, but then my wife started wondering if I would be disappointed about having a girl. The truth is, I would've been ecstatic either way and nothing's changed since the birth. While it would be nice to have a little boy in the mix, there's never been any sort of "need" for a boy.

To me, what would've been great about having a boy are:

1) It would've made it really easy to not have any more kids since we would've experienced raising children of both sexes. As is, we'll discuss having another child in a year and a half or so and see where we're at.

2) As mentioned before, it would've been really great to sort of put my money where my mouth was and leave the little boy alone, exactly as he was born.

Originally Posted by jenP

a daughter can be just as good an advert for intactness. YOu could just keep saying to your brother, "I am so glad we decided not to circumcise (or infibulate) DD!" and when he says, "well, duh, of course you didn't, why would you circ a girl?" you can say, "well, why on earth would you circ a boy???"

I already discussed that one with him. Sadly, he couldn't see that it didn't matter whether it was a boy or a girl - that circumcision is just plain wrong. I don't know if you remember or not, but it seemed that the extent of his "research," his entire basis for circumcising his son was that a few female coworkers expressed their preference for circumcised men and that brings me to reason

3) Oh how I wished for a son just to shatter every single myth he had come across regarding circumcision.

Oh well. For now, we'll just have to take care of our own and when the time comes, make sure that these two girls know better.

[PuppyFluffer]

well, you can tell him that you talked to some women who much prefer an intact man. If you post that question, you'll get all the info you want.

[jenP]

Originally Posted by wagodog

I joked about the whole "another girl" thing, but then my wife started wondering if I would be disappointed about having a girl. The truth is, I would've been ecstatic either way and nothing's changed since the birth. While it would be nice to have a little boy in the mix, there's never been any sort of "need" for a boy.

Yes, my DH felt the same way. But everyone we knew just assumed that he must really really want a boy. I'm not sure why.

Originally Posted by wagodog

To me, what would've been great about having a boy are:

1) It would've made it really easy to not have any more kids since we would've experienced raising children of both sexes. As is, we'll discuss having another child in a year and a half or so and see where we're at.

2) As mentioned before, it would've been really great to sort of put my money where my mouth was and leave the little boy alone, exactly as he was born.

True, true, having an intact by DOES put you in an easier position to educate about it. I'm loving showing people how EASY it is to just wipe off the outside of the penis if it gets any poop on it. (It's that darn scrotum that is so difficult to clean! You try to wipe it off and it just moves, it's like trying to clean jello.)

Originally Posted by wagodog

I already discussed that one with him. Sadly, he couldn't see that it didn't matter whether it was a boy or a girl - that circumcision is just plain wrong. I don't know if you remember or not, but it seemed that the extent of his "research," his entire basis for circumcising his son was that a few female coworkers expressed their preference for circumcised men and that brings me to reason

Sigh. And I prefer men with armband tattoos and pierced nipples...

Originally Posted by wagodog

3) Oh how I wished for a son just to shatter every single myth he had come across regarding circumcision.

True. But he would probably not be convinced until his nephew grew up uti- and phimosis-free and had lots of women clamoring to date him and married and didn't give his wife cervical cancer and fathered children and never got penile cancer or an std and lived to be very old and in a nursing home and yet still had a clean penis...
by that time it would be too late to sparre your nephews the procedure...

Originally Posted by wagodog

Oh well. For now, we'll just have to take care of our own and when the time comes, make sure that these two girls know better.

That's right!
Enjoy those wonderful girls!

Jen

[Terpatude]

Congrats on both your beautiful children

[Paddington]

Originally Posted by jenP

True, true, having an intact by DOES put you in an easier position to educate about it. I'm loving showing people how EASY it is to just wipe off the outside of the penis if it gets any poop on it. (It's that darn scrotum that is so difficult to clean! You try to wipe it off and it just moves, it's like trying to clean jello.)
Jen

When I read this I could immediately picture scrubing that scrotum down... :LOL

[wagodog]

Originally Posted by PuppyFluffer

well, you can tell him that you talked to some women who much prefer an intact man. If you post that question, you'll get all the info you want.

Sorry, but that didn't work either. He needed to look no further than my wife for that point of view. Somehow, though, he can see that it's the man that women fall in love with and not the penis, but then turn around and feel the need to have his son circumcised.

Originally Posted by jenP

But he would probably not be convinced until his nephew grew up uti- and phimosis-free and had lots of women clamoring to date him and married and didn't give his wife cervical cancer and fathered children and never got penile cancer or an std and lived to be very old and in a nursing home and yet still had a clean penis...by that time it would be too late to sparre your nephews the procedure...

I now realize that it was pointless to discuss it with him from the get-go. While I haven't reached old age just yet, and women weren't beating down my door, my brother had a clear example of all the other things in ME, but yep ... it wasn't good enough. My poor little nephew. It was just the first of many other mistakes they've made and will continue to make.

Oh well. For now, I can focus on the positives on this end!! Woohoo!! Well, at least until my girls start dating! :


chuong

[susienjay]

Congrats on your new little girl!

I wanted a boy when I was pregnant with #3 for similar reasons. It wasn't that I didn't want another little girl (actually wound up with another one of those too :LOL ) I wanted to show that ds wouldn't have any problems being left intact. My dh's best friend who circed his son and predicted all sorts of problems didn't come around or change his mind about circ at all even though he could obviously see that our ds was fine. Infact he acted kind of smug like he knew he'd done something "great" for his son and acted like our son was going to be upset with us for not doing it. So it really didn't make a bit of difference anyway.

[Paddington]

that's so sad. sometimes it's like when you talk to some of these people. logic just doesn't come into it. just patiently (well, maybe not so patiently) awaiting the day they finally suceed in making this illegal or at least, the day when intactness is the norm in the u.s.

and being thankful that we don't circ our girls as well.... and maybe, also, wishing girls on all those circ crazy people :

[wagodog]

Originally Posted by errejasu

My dh's best friend who circed his son and predicted all sorts of problems didn't come around or change his mind about circ at all even though he could obviously see that our ds was fine. Infact he acted kind of smug like he knew he'd done something "great" for his son and acted like our son was going to be upset with us for not doing it.

You know? I can sort of relate to the whole being smug thing. I always imagined a time, somewhere down the road (sorry, I'm a Barry Manilow fan), where I would have a chat w/ my son and he'd acknowledge to me just how great it was that we spared him unnecessary pain, guaranteed him all the protection and sensation that he was supposed to have, and maybe even lessened his chances of ED.


Now, as for the wishing girls upon circ crazy people, I hate the fact that I've wished that too. As they were my much-too-diplomatic wife's friends, I wasn't even able to badger them as I'd normally do. The end result is that they circumcised their boy but "oddly" left their little girl alone, and since they've never seen the light, I'm guessing that when they become grandparents they'll try to sway their children's decision as well. Yeah. They're like that - opinionated but without any basis for their opinions.