Dads and Birth Trauma - Page 2

[tootpapa]

Hey, I'm glad you posted here. This thread does not have to be just about my situation. I would hope that others would use it, too. I invite you to talk as much as you like about your situation here. I think knowing that you are not alone in your grief, even though other people have different experiences, seems to help in getting along. I am glad you guys have found some comfort and ways to process the feelings.

Germany is great in some ways for sure. We are in the east, so Pilsner is big here. We are very close to the Czech republic, where Pilsner is from (there is an actual town named Pilsen, as well as one called Budweiser). I must say I enjoy the excellent, cheap beer, perhaps a little too often.

[tootpapa]

Jenney,

Thanks for your posting. It is good to hear other stories, even when they are also difficult. I did not know about the fundal pressure so I have nothing to compare it to. It just seems like it was very forceful, as though she was trying to push the baby out. But it may have been properly done. My wife and I are coming to see where the problems in the birth were more specifically. A lot of it has to do with invalidating behaviour of the midwives and the fact that she was not allowed to stand up and walk around. They did this for a reason and I still don't know if it was a good one. The birth probably would have been difficult anyway, I think. This process can be very physically and emotionally trying, as I am sure you know. And if the partner is present, he experiences all of that, too and feels very helpless. My wife says that she thinks it was worse for me than for her because I had to watch her be in so much pain. I don't know if that is true; I guess it is possible.

I, too, was reassured by the baby's heartbeat, which was always fine. I was very worried about my wife, though. It sounds like you guys had a similar experience with such a long, long labor. I know what it feels like to want to do something, to step in, to feel responsible when in fact one isn't. I hope your husband gets a chance to deal with his pain and fear somehow.

Good luck and thanks,

brian

[rmzbm]

Originally Posted by papapoochie

Wow 45 hrs of labor! They don't do that in America anymore. They would have c-sectioned her within 24 hrs.

Don't be so sure...with my second son I was in labor for FOUR DAYS and I had to BEG for a c-section that they very reluctantly gave me!!