My 1 month old niece passed away this morning.

[BennyPai]

My one month old niece passed away this morning. My sister said baby Emma had a fever last night that was brought down by tylenol, and Emma wasn't breathing this morning.

My little sister is 20 years old and has a ds - 11 months old. She is going through this time without a lot of support. My family is trying to be there for her, but there is a lot of hardship in my family-- I don't know how able they are to help.

They are all in Maine and I am in NC. I have a 20 month dd and I'm pregnant (due 9/16) so I can't travel there. What can I/ my family do to help my little sister and ds cope? I don't want to say or do the "wrong thing."

I've never been through this, but can't imagine the horror... I keep thinking about the breast milk she is still producing, the car seat, all of Emma's things. How would I ever cope if it happened to my dc?

I need some help from someone who has experienced this.

[Lucky Charm]

I have never been through this, but didnt want to read and run.

I am so sorry to hear about your baby niece. How awful for all of you.

I would call as much as possible. I wish there was a way you could take a trip to be with her during this terrible time for her. Any chance you could make it for the funeral?

I couldnt imagine it. Try and take it easy yourself, and recommend the same for your sister.

[Red Sonja]

oh my, I'm so sorry for your family's loss. Many hugs to your sister.

[Irishmommy]

Didn't want to read and not post, though I have no suggestions.

I'm really sorry for your/her loss.

[Starr]

I am so sorry.

[Pam_and_Abigail]

s to you and your family, especially your sister. When I had my m/c I learned that the local children's hospital had two support groups; one for pregnancy loss and stillborn, and another for older babies and children (not that you were striclty un-welcome at either...) They had books to suggest for losses (I can't remember them right now).

wish I could be of more help

[Ruthla]

[FroNuff]

Didn't want to read and not post, though I have no suggestions.

Same here.

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

[darlindeliasmom]

My sister suffered such a loss; her Brendan died a few hours after birth after a relatively uneventful pregnancy...no hint of what was to come. I was out of the country when it happened, couldn't get back for his little funeral...I still remember hearing the news, and today would be Brendan's 19th birthday.

My advice: listen to her, listen to her...she needs to talk about Emma, and needs to know that her precious little one will not be forgotten. Plant a tree for Emma at your house...do something concrete if you need to, but let her talk. That is what my sister says is the best...just don't forget that she was.

to you on the loss of your niece.

[De-lovely]

Oh mama how awful.....(((hugs))) for your entire family. I def. would even check into support groups for her. Gather some numbers for her and make contact since I am sure she has a lot more on her plate at this moment. Call often and I would maybe invite her and her son to come out after the funeral and such. Stay connected and make sure she knows how much you love her.

(((deep deep breath....)))

[mzfern]

I'm so sorry for your family's loss. I agree with the advice to do something concrete in your home. In time, it'll mean so much to your sister.

[Autumnschild]

I am so sorry. I wish I had some wise advice for you.

[Altair]

so sorry

as to what you could do-- I would look into buying something to reflect on her life-- some kind of dedication. a park bench at a park in their town? a garden stone with her name engraved? a bracelet? something personal that would resonate with your sister.

i know it must be killing you not to be there.

[juicylucy]

how tragic.. I am so sorry

[mamaley]

I am so sorry for your family's loss.

My advice: listen to her, listen to her...she needs to talk about Emma, and needs to know that her precious little one will not be forgotten. Plant a tree for Emma at your house...do something concrete if you need to, but let her talk. That is what my sister says is the best...just don't forget that she was.

I think this is great advice.

[jessemoon]

I'm so sorry.

Listen to her. Call her often. Send her cards and notes. Remember Emma months and years from now when other people may act as if she never had a daughter. Emma was here and Emma is just as much her daughter as if she had lived to be 95.

Your poor sister.

[Kaitnbugsmom]

cuddling my own Emma, who is not feeling so good herself. She's also one month old this week, and I can't imagine the pain and horror your sister is going through... or maybe it's because I can only imagine it that it's terrifying me...

[BennyPai]

I appreciate all the kind words and advice.

I'm still so shocked. Emma was doing well, had gained a pound, seemed healthy to the rest of the family on Saturday.

It really is killing me not to be with Trish right now. Our older sister from NH is going there to be with her. I know she wants and needs to be around our family.

[mamadawg]

I'm so sorry.

[JessicaS]

What a tragedy.

I am terribly sorry for your loss..I cannot imagine how painful that must be for all of you.

We do have a resources thread in the pregnancy and birth loss forum. You may find some useful suggestions in there.