Lonely/no friend mamas - Page 2

[~*max*~]

Hi mamas. This tribe describes me as well. I have one very dear friend, my best friend from growing up, but she lives about an hour away and I do not get to see her nearly enough. Then I have several friends who are more acquaintance type friends, who I met through my various activities w/the kids. But that closeness is just not there. I am an introvert at heart, and really need to work to be outgoing & social. I think people may view me as uptight, which I probably am. Also, dh & I are very family oriented, and do not have a lot of extra time. What free time we do have we prefer to spend w/family. Sometimes getting together w/others can be a lot of extra work - finding sitters, cooking, cleaning, juggling schedules. But usually when we do, we are very glad that we did. We just need to make ourselves do it.

Thanks for starting this tribe. It will be nice to talk w/others in the same boat.

[avivaelona]

I have a few really good friends but they all live far away now. I moved to MA four years ago but for various reasons I'm only just now getting out and trying to meet people. I have been meeting quite a few but I have a hard time making that leap from acquaintance to friend. I wish I knew why! Maybe I'm just too odd I swear though sometimes I just wish someone would be really mean and nasty and just TELL me what the problem is, everyone I've ever asked (mostly good friends) thinks I should have no problem making friends, apparently its all just coincidental? I sort of doubt that! Lol. Oh well, glad to meet all you friendless moms, its nice to know we aren't alone I guess.

[kbridi]

This is a tribe for me. I don't have any friends right now. Actually, I have one, but she's atleast an hour away and doesn't have any kids, so she can't relate. I have a lot of acquantiences (sp) and superficial relationships with people I meet at playdates, the park, moms groups, but no one I can really share with or call if I need a friend. It's not like I havent' been trying, either. I go out and meet people and attend tons of things for ds so I can meet other moms. I have some 'friends' from work who just had kids, but they are far away. It's depressing to sit here an write this, but I'm finally admitting it. I'm friendless.

I must say, I've met some wonderful moms from mdc IRL so, hopefully those relationships will amount to deeper friendships, but who knows. I also don't want these other women to think I'm pathetic or something....It's like dating and looking for a husband!

I would just love to have a girlfriend I could hang out with -- even just one!

Nice to meet you all. Thanks for starting the thread.

[reiterin]

Yep, this is just like me. I'm so shy that it's very hard to meet people. And I'm so bad at keeping in touch with the friends I do have, that I tend to lose them... I don't have any mommy friends IRL at all, which sux.

Good thread. Makes me feel... not so alone.

[frowningfrog]

avivaelona::::
I to live in Mass. I have lives here all my life i just lost touch with my pack.
we just moved to a new town and the neighbors look at us like we are freaks :LOL . I miss my old neighborhood, we knew everyone on the street, and they were all sad to see us go , but circumstances beyond our control moved us here.


elmama:::
great job on the stalking :LOL ..i bet she was totally unsuspecting. thats great you have made a friend..se it does pay off sometimes to be a "stalker"..
I wish your new friendship well.

[mercurysky]

i am in the same boat as well. I moved to be with my husband 13 hours away from family and friends. I am some what shy, and VERY opinionated? I guess that could be the word. And very selective with friends. I used to work retail, so a lot of the people I would encounter at work were big partiers down by the college. not my cup of tea. I did my fair share of drinking also, but at that stage in my life, i didnt want to hear about the weekends binge all week long. My husband is the "everyones best friend' type of person, so I kind of just adopted some of his friends. Then we transfered with work, and now its me, my son, and my husband. I volunteered about 30 hours a week at the local animal shelter hoping to find friends, but none of them wanted friends, just do what they had to do and leave. Now I am looking for new mom groups/play groups in my area to join. I have one friend in this town who is a mom also, but has TOTALLY diff mothering style than me, and she is pulling away lately. HI EVERYONE!! lets all PM each other or trade im names@!

[tyedyedeyes]

Greetings and salutations to all my lonely sistahs out there. Ah, woe is me...i'm in the same boat as all of you...you know, the one at the bottom of the lake? :LOL

Anywhoodle, I've had a couple of good friends throughout my life. I've had one BEST friend since I was oh, I think we were 11 or something. Met in Girl Scout Camp. My best friend actually introduced me to MDC, (THANK YOU!) and other than that, I have another girlfriend that I've known for about 4 years now, but she's off at college so I only get to see her once or twice a year. Other than that, all of my "friends" dissappeared when I became a mom and wife. My sister is my other closest friend, and her SO is a good guy too. I have a guy friend that all he wants to do is party on the weekends (single, no kids), so I usually just end up chatting with him on the phone once a week. Not a big partier anymore...that stage of my life has ended. I have a couple of acquaintences I talk to about every 6 or 8 months from my last job, but again, they just want to meet up and drink. So yeah, I know where all of you mamas are coming from!

Let's be lonely together.

~Kate

[oetien]

I have no friends....
Seems like I can't find anyone I can really relate to.
I used to have bestfriends until I moved, then quit school, then got married, then got pregnant..
I guess most people, especially my age, don't do what I do. I don't know!

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

Well all, I'm trying!!!

I had a best friend, I met her when we were about 6 or 7, and we were close up until last year, when I moved. My number had changed (area code change), and we were in the process of moving to a new apartment (moved 3000 miles away, then within a month moved to a different apartment), and in all the hub-bub, lost touch with her. I tried contacting her after things settled, but her number had changed too, and I lost her

Today is her birthday, and she is on my mind, so I'm tracking her down!! lol Or trying to anyway.

I called the place where she worked when I moved, and she no longer worked there. I then called the place she was considering trasferring to (same company), and she didn't work there either.

I have no personal number for her, but found a number listed for her parents (she lived with them last I talked to her, but was considering moving out). So, I called and left a message for her, and hope someone can give me some kind of info.

I know it's not a local friend I can hang out with, but it's someone I could call and talk to... A friend...

I'm trying slowly.... Wish me luck!!!

[burke-a-bee]

Okay, I couple of you are from Mass. You should get together!

[~*max*~]

Hi again Mamas. This may sound weird, but are any of you active w/religion? I am not. I was raised Catholic, rebelled against that, began going to a UU church, which I really liked, but then we moved away and I just let it all go. I am probably UU/pagan at heart, but currently not involved in anything. But, sometimes I really feel lonely in my soul, if that makes any sense. I am drawn to the aspect of organized religion, but I have yet to make a move. Can anyone else relate?

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

I'm atheist, but I've had thoughts from time to time that if I were religious, I could make friends at a church... It makes me feel bad, because, well, I don't wanna have to pretend to be religious just to make friends... But I feel desperate on some days

Please don't think badly of me...

[burke-a-bee]

I have a friend who has moved several times over the past few years. Her husband is a minister. Wherever they move they have an automatic built in community with the church. Sometimes I really wish I was religious so I could have that benefit but if it isn't in your heart it doesn't feel right.

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

I should probably add, I would never ever pretend to be religious, that's simply direspectful to me...

But, I do wonder if I could handle simply attending a church to meet friends... Then again, that seems disrespectful too Like I'd be somehow 'using' or taking advantage of the church

[oetien]

I won't go to church to meet ppl. Doesn't seem right to me

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

Originally Posted by oetien

I won't go to church to meet ppl. Doesn't seem right to me

That's pretty much what I'm saying too... But on those desperate days, it's a passing thought One I'm very sad over... Kinda like 'my god, am I THAT hard to be friends with that I'm even *thinking* that?!?!'... The thought passes, and I move on, feeling uncomfortable about the thought, but still lonely and desperate

[oetien]

Yeah, I just started to feel lonely this past couple of months. I'm usually a loner, but sometimes we do need somebody to talk to (other than our family)
Now, I really don't know how to start making friends, it seems really hard...

[MomBirthmomStepmom]

It just does seem so hard, doesn't it? On those really lonely days, I just feel so horrible, like okay, other people make and keep friends, why can't I??

I was a loner too. Was sooo happy for so long with just like 1 friend... But now, I dunno... Maybe it's because I had family there too, and here, I have just the people I live with... Sometimes it's nice to not talk about the same things everyday... I just feel like I have so much more to give... Friendship, an ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on when needed, a friend to go out with, someone to confide in etc... But, I dunno, it's just so hard

[frowningfrog]

Hello again lonely friends,
I am a MAss mommie, i will welcome personaly messages just check out my profile for information or just send me a message I will surly get back to you.

I am a non practicing Catholic, I do not believe in organized religion. to me there is something cultish about it and its scary to me :LOL
I do however feel at itne that there is something missing in that aspect. I have tried different religions like Baptist i found it very wonderful but again that cult thing took over :LOL ...
I do believe in the wicca faith althought i have not practiced but have many friends in the past and ones that i have lost touch with are wiccans.
I dunno, I do feel like i need something more but I am still searching that out.

For those mommies looking for a group to maybe meet some moms in your area
check out my sig i run a group for moms in the mortheast on yahoo..moms from all walks of like not just natural moms..
well have a great weekend all...
hope to get to know you al ...

[melissa_honeybee]

I was just thinking about this today...I am soo lonely. I moved to this area 4 years ago and really haven't made many friends. I have some friends with older kids, or no kids...it's really rough, especially without a car...There is a park we can walk to, but it is always heartbreaking to hear the disappoinment in my son's voice as he says, "There is no one to play with.."

I know what you other mamas are saying about joining a church just to find some sense of community... Luckily I have a UU relatively close by, so if our second car gets fixed, I could start going. I Have a few pagan friends that go, so I think I could stomach it...

This area is really conservative and drives me crazy. While i am in relatively liberal SE PA, I happen to live in a real PA dutch area, and most of the people here are just weird and it has a real "townie" atmosphere.

I guess I have always been selective about friends and disillusioned my mainstream society..kinda makes me an outcast...

I sometimes get jealous of my husband, we live in the area he grew up in, so he has contact with alot of HS buddies. I, however, went to 3 different high schools and really don't have anyone that I see from then..

Frowningfrog..that sounds like a terrifying experience you had, glad you have mostly recovered..