Hello other mamas. I didn't read the entire thread but thought that I would offer some of my advice.
I have moved at least a half dozen times and each of those moves was over 2,000 miles. I know what it is like to come into a brand new town and know no one. It does take time to find others to connect with. I would suggest trying to get a playgroup together. It is an easy way to try and meet some new people. Also, the UU church is a wonderful way of meeting others and they usually have a lot of kid-friendly activities. Also, if they do offer activities that is just for adults they usually offer some sort of childcare. I would highly suggest it. I loved my UU church in Bellingham and am so sad there isn't one very close to the place we just moved in Ohio. I did find one that was only 45 minutes away and will have to check it out.
I would also try hooking up with others via MDC and the tribal areas. I have had great success with this. It is a good way to start a playgroup. I would suggest meeting in a mutual public destination the first time in case they are crazy or something. If you aren't getting much of a response then try posting a flyer in a library, community food co-op, natural foods store, etc. to advertise your playgroup. Hang your flyers in areas that you like to be in and chances are you will find others who like to be there too and at least you will have that in common.
I would also suggest getting involved in some volunteer work WITHOUT the children if possible. Focus in on something that you are passionate about. It could open the doorway for others to see you as something other than mommy and be able to utilize your passions to find others who share it.
I would try and go to the library for story time, the park, or other places in your town where mothers/babies congregate and actually talk to the other mothers. I am not shy and will try and strike up a conversation with any of the other mamas. I have noticed that many other mamas do not speak up. Many are really shy and are just waiting for someone to introduce themselves. Most of the time it will be a positive experience and if you happen to run into a b*tch then you can use that to break the ice with another mama. Or you can just stick your tongue out at her and call her a name like "Pumpkin butt breath" :LOL
I noticed that I had a much harder time finding friends once I became a mama. Plus, it depends upon the region. In California, the people seemed much more approachable and pleasanter than say in Washington (probably because of the amount of sunshine or something :LOL ). The midwest is just awful when you are a dreadhead hippie freak that doesn't shave her pits or legs. I have to wait until people get past how I look and realize that I am just a person underneath the freaky exterior. :LOL But, I am still trying and I know there has to be other freaks out there as well. In fact, I just met someone online today who just moved here from Seattle through MDC and we will try and meet up soon. It takes time, patience, and a lot of getting through the fear of rejection. If you can overcome that fear then you will find that you can be much more open with others and then others will slowly start coming into your lives.
When my daughter was only a year old and my son was three it was almost impossible to find time and energy to be able to meet others. I found myself consumed by the mothering of those two children and no time to actually do something about my loneliness. There were times when I would feel so lonely that it was almost a physical hurt and felt as though it might consume me. I would bemoan my situation thinking why did I have to move so far away again but inevitably it would work itself out. It is all about trust and faith in yourself to be worthy enough to have others like you.
But, as my children have gotten older and become more involved in school/ preschool and other social activities it has become easier. I have had much more exposure to other mommies and I have been much more forward and it has definitely helped.
I bid all of you lonely mamas much luck. Get out there and find yourselves some friends. YOU CAN DO IT YOU ARE A MOTHER AFTER ALL AND MAMAS CAN DO ANYTHING!!!!!!
Peace,
Shelbi
It's like I'm afraid to get a good friend again and bang they are half way across country. I do have quite a few good online buddies but thats not the same. I already know Aviva! (well we never meet) too bad we are on opposite ends of the state.
