He and his girlfriend, also a friend of mine, were at a birthday party for xbf's best friend. Apparently he (J) and his gf (E) were sitting/standing on the edge of a bluff and he slipped. It was not a straight fall, more of a rocky slope, 70 feet down to where he landed. He was already dead when perimedics got there. J was 24.
E is having a hellava time. She doesn't remember exactly what happened. They had been drinking, but she wasn't sloppy drunk; she thinks she's supressing what exactly happened. She just remembers they were talking, and then he just wasn't there. She thought maybe he went back to the house, and the next thing she knows she's screaming for help. She doesn't remember seeing him fall. Her dad is giving her a hard time for not remembering exactly what happened, and a few people have insinuated that she's just not saying what happened because she doesn't want to be blamed. Like maybe they were playing around and she accidently bumped into him and he fell, or something like that. She's very playful so I can see something like that happening.
i just wish instead of the negativity from people they would help her understand that whatever happened they don't blame her. Maybe that would help her remember &start to accept what happened.
I'm taking this pretty hard too. J and I only dated for about 3 months, and I was not very careful of his feelings when we broke up. We dated during my 'year of fun' (20) and I am not proud of that year. I have felt the need to apologize to him recently, but I felt kind of silly bringing up. I mean, it wasn't THAT long ago that he's forgotten about it, but he's living with E and happy, I'm married and a mommy and happy. So I worried that he'd be like "You're still worried/ Think I'm still worried about that?! Geez, get over yourself!"
And I know I would have gotten the nerve to tell him before long. All I needed was to see him outside in his yard (we live on the same street) and I would have stopped and talked to him.
I told E since I can't tell J now. She said he would have appreciated it.
I guess I just needed to tell someone. I also wonder if anyone has any ideas for how to help E? I know she partly blames herself.
E is having a hellava time. She doesn't remember exactly what happened. They had been drinking, but she wasn't sloppy drunk; she thinks she's supressing what exactly happened. She just remembers they were talking, and then he just wasn't there. She thought maybe he went back to the house, and the next thing she knows she's screaming for help. She doesn't remember seeing him fall. Her dad is giving her a hard time for not remembering exactly what happened, and a few people have insinuated that she's just not saying what happened because she doesn't want to be blamed. Like maybe they were playing around and she accidently bumped into him and he fell, or something like that. She's very playful so I can see something like that happening.
i just wish instead of the negativity from people they would help her understand that whatever happened they don't blame her. Maybe that would help her remember &start to accept what happened.
I'm taking this pretty hard too. J and I only dated for about 3 months, and I was not very careful of his feelings when we broke up. We dated during my 'year of fun' (20) and I am not proud of that year. I have felt the need to apologize to him recently, but I felt kind of silly bringing up. I mean, it wasn't THAT long ago that he's forgotten about it, but he's living with E and happy, I'm married and a mommy and happy. So I worried that he'd be like "You're still worried/ Think I'm still worried about that?! Geez, get over yourself!"
And I know I would have gotten the nerve to tell him before long. All I needed was to see him outside in his yard (we live on the same street) and I would have stopped and talked to him.
I told E since I can't tell J now. She said he would have appreciated it.
I guess I just needed to tell someone. I also wonder if anyone has any ideas for how to help E? I know she partly blames herself.
How very sad! Sorry, I have no advice, but just wanted to give my condolences for your loss. 
