Switching Gears

[gratefulbambina]

This is our 2nd pregnancy. I did not have the birth that I wanted last time for several reasons. I had a hospital birth last time with an OB that would blow off all my desires & wants during the birth of our daughter. This time around I looked for a midwife group & changed hospitals. I was feeling pretty good about my decision & actually really like my midwives & the MD that is on staff has the same beliefs as his midwives on staff.

Last week we toured the hospital & all the feelings of upsetness came rushing back through & I have been having small panic attacks this week because of it. I had half joked with my husband during this pregnancy that this would be our last one in a hospital & that I wanted to do a homebirth next time after I had the assurance that I could do this without meds since the first time I had an epidural.

The more I think about it the more I think I want a homebirth this time & my fears for not wanting one like the meds or something happening to the baby are less than the fears that I have of a hospital birth. So now the only thing that is stopping us in the money. The wonderful state of GA is very strict on only MDs to deliver babies. My insurance will not cover Midwives or Doulas. The midwife group that I use now has to bill under the MD they work for.

We will be having an interview with a homebirth midwife this week though just to see if this is possible.

Those of you that have had homebirths do you mind giving me an insight on anything you think I should know. Any questions to ask the midwife or any of your fears or regrets?

Thanks so much!!

[Patchfire]

Another Georgia gal here, and yeah, the money is a BIG issue. We were able to use FSA money because of when I conceived and was due, but I know our midwife would have been willing to work out a payment plan if we'd needed to.

I think you'll find suggested question lists on a lot of websites, previous posts in this forum, books, et cetera. I picked out a few questions but also went in and wanted to just hear what each midwife thought of as her role, what she typically would and would not do during a birth, and that sort of thing. In the end, I think it's just who you 'click' with and not, because I interviewed two midwifes, both would have provided excellent care, but in the end I just clicked a little better with one than the other.

And no, NO regrets here! Dd was a hospital birth that wasn't 'bad' but there's just really no comparison in my mind!

[WinterBaby]

I always figured I'd have to have a baby at the hospital for drugs for the pain... And then I thought I'd try a birth center when I just couldn't handle the idea of the hospital - I mean, at least they have stadol if I needed it, right? But finally the idea of home won out, desire to be at home overcame any desire to be rescued from labor pain. And it would happen that through a 30-some hour home labor and birth, many hours of which I'd categorize as quite painful... never did the idea of drugs even cross my mind. They weren't there, ya know? Even if someone had promised me we could go get some, I don't think that would have budged me at the point where they might have been attractive. I was pretty entrenched birthing by then, heh. But if I have to birth in a hospital I don't think I could handle laboring and birthing there unmedicated. So I definately don't think you need some sort of test case of wether you can labor naturally in a hospital before doing it as home. They're 2 whole different enviornments. It's a heck of a lot harder to birth naturally in the hospital, imo. If the IDEA of the hospital is giving you anxiety attacks, I don't know what the reality of being there is going to be. Strongly consider trying to work out some sort of payment arrangement with a midwife to stay home. Is it just birth your insurance won't cover a midwife for or any maternity care? Some midwives can bill the birth essentially broken up as prenatal care billing, since many have a single fee for all prenatal + birth. Best wishes for the outcome of your birth whereever it might be

[crunchymomof2]

Yet another Ga mommy. The money was a problem for us and then dh lost his job and was out of work for a while. So even though I had my baby 3 months ago, I am just going to be able to pay her off next month. It was SOO worth all the scrimping to pay for a homebirth. I have no regrets whatsoever.

[gratefulbambina]

Ty Im so looking forward to meeting with the midwife on Weds. The more I think about a homebirth the more relaxing & comforting I feel. The money issue is hard because even if its payments its creating another bill, but I think in the end that will not be what matters.

I agree with you as I was speaking to the midwife on the phone I said I wanted to do a hospital birth to see if I can handle the pain & then I said then again having it at home just takes that out of the picture as an option & would prob make it better anyways.

[alegna]

I had a homebirth for my first (and only so far...) NO regrets. I'd do it a thousand times over. I'd find the money.

good luck!

-Angela

[MelissaEvans]

I went to the hospital with DS because of the money issue. It sounds like you had a less than pleasant experience, so this will hopefully make sense. DS's birth was horrible for me on many many levels. It took me about 2 1/2 years to heal from it emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. $3K to avoid what I went through is nothing, I honestly can't consider any other route. It seems that when you want something bad enough, the universe moves to provide it. Family may help (we told ours we don't want clothes or stuff, we need help with our midwife fees), MW may use a sliding scale (espeically since she didn't do some of the prental work), she may accept services you can provide as payment... Good luck!

[writermommy]

I agree with pps. I had 3 in a hospital, but the last was by far the worst. Not so much the birth itself, but after. They took her to the nursery, which I didn't want and kept her there for 5 hours. I requested that she be brought to me numerous times, but they only brought her after I pitched a MAJOR FIT. When I got her, she didn't want to nurse. I swear I could smell formula on her breath, even though they denied giving her any. After about 2 hrs she was hungry and nursed. A coincidence? I don't think so.

DD is now about to turn 3 and I still haven't gotten over it. DH and I are at an impasse right now about ttc #4. I will only do it if he will agree to a homebirth. He's worried about the safety aspect, but I think he's coming around.

I don't know if my insurance will cover it and I don't care. I'll find a way to pay for it before I'll ever go through an experience like that again. If there's one thing I learned it's that they will do whatever they want with no thought to what's best for mom or baby.

[LoveChild421]

reading your post takes me back so much...I switched to homebirth midwives at 22 weeks after having panic attacks, nightmares, etc about birthing in a hospital- I thank God every day that I did- it was well worth the $2,250- that experience was priceless- I drained my savings and don't regret it at all. I would take out a loan for that experience if I had to or run up credit card debt even!

Don't be scared about not being able to do it without meds- that's the great thing about homebirth- you don't have the option unless you want to transport- so it doesn't really enter your mind as much and you find strength within yourself you never knew was there. I would have had an epi had I been in the hospital no doubt- but since I was at home the car ride seemed like it would be worse than just pushing him out.

I'm not sure who you're interviewing with but if you want the name of my awesome midwife just pm me!