I hope this is the appropriate place to post this. This is a touchy subject. I don't have time to post the whole story here, as there is of course a lot to it, but I will give my best summation.
My best friend of 11 years has been suffering from anxiety and emotional problems since I've known her. She has always been unstable and unpredictable, as well as self-destructive, and very premiscuous. I (according to her) have been her sole grounding force. Unfortunately, what she is now going through is something I don't know how to fully support.
Last December she started sleeping with another man she had only just met, and got pregnant. She has always said that she is completely against abortion and would never do it. For two months she told everyone how happy she was to be pregnant. Meanwhile, I couldn't help thinking that this baby would set her into a downward spiral and she would take the helpless child with it. On the otherhand, she is a loving giving person. But the fact that she is emotionally unstable (not to mention financially) made me worry for the child's wellbeing. I once was in a position to think about abortion, but quickly knew that I would keep my DD because I knew I could take care of her well, despite my age and situation. This is not something my friend, having no job, family or real home, would be successful at at this time in her life. These are my thoughts, that I tried not to push onto her. I do not approve of abortion as a means of birth control, in fact the thought of actually having one brings me to tears. But I know that I was strong enough to overcome these kinds of obstacles, and did not have to have one. She ended up coming to the same conclusion that she could not care for this baby, and went through with an abortion.
Fast-forward six months and she is incredibly torn up over this still. This is very understanding, and I give her the most support I possibly can. This is not the problem, the problem is her boyfriend. They stayed together after the abortion, much to everyone's suprise. But he refuses to comfort her about it. She regrets her decision everyday. In fact, she has recently been fantasizing about getting pregnant again. I strongly advised her against this. I know he does not want a baby. They aren't a strong couple. Tonight she called crying again. He does not listen to her. She needs him to hold her and tell her that it was the right decision, even if it wasn't. She believes it wasn't. I can sympathise with that. She feels God is punishing her for all the horrible decisions she has made. I told her that is not true, that God is forgiving. But she needs her boyfriend to support her in this. Instead he tells her that "it wasn't even a baby yet anyway" and other incredibly insensitive things.
The four of us (he, I, she and my BF) are close. I have an urge to have an intimate conversation with him, to plead with him to open up. Would this be wise? After all the mistakes she has made in the past, it still will do no one good to let her kill herself inside over this.
Thanks,
My best friend of 11 years has been suffering from anxiety and emotional problems since I've known her. She has always been unstable and unpredictable, as well as self-destructive, and very premiscuous. I (according to her) have been her sole grounding force. Unfortunately, what she is now going through is something I don't know how to fully support.
Last December she started sleeping with another man she had only just met, and got pregnant. She has always said that she is completely against abortion and would never do it. For two months she told everyone how happy she was to be pregnant. Meanwhile, I couldn't help thinking that this baby would set her into a downward spiral and she would take the helpless child with it. On the otherhand, she is a loving giving person. But the fact that she is emotionally unstable (not to mention financially) made me worry for the child's wellbeing. I once was in a position to think about abortion, but quickly knew that I would keep my DD because I knew I could take care of her well, despite my age and situation. This is not something my friend, having no job, family or real home, would be successful at at this time in her life. These are my thoughts, that I tried not to push onto her. I do not approve of abortion as a means of birth control, in fact the thought of actually having one brings me to tears. But I know that I was strong enough to overcome these kinds of obstacles, and did not have to have one. She ended up coming to the same conclusion that she could not care for this baby, and went through with an abortion.
Fast-forward six months and she is incredibly torn up over this still. This is very understanding, and I give her the most support I possibly can. This is not the problem, the problem is her boyfriend. They stayed together after the abortion, much to everyone's suprise. But he refuses to comfort her about it. She regrets her decision everyday. In fact, she has recently been fantasizing about getting pregnant again. I strongly advised her against this. I know he does not want a baby. They aren't a strong couple. Tonight she called crying again. He does not listen to her. She needs him to hold her and tell her that it was the right decision, even if it wasn't. She believes it wasn't. I can sympathise with that. She feels God is punishing her for all the horrible decisions she has made. I told her that is not true, that God is forgiving. But she needs her boyfriend to support her in this. Instead he tells her that "it wasn't even a baby yet anyway" and other incredibly insensitive things.
The four of us (he, I, she and my BF) are close. I have an urge to have an intimate conversation with him, to plead with him to open up. Would this be wise? After all the mistakes she has made in the past, it still will do no one good to let her kill herself inside over this.
Thanks,
:
her so much? She always makes me worry about her. It's not fair... I feel like everyone's mama...no one takes care of me or rubs my belly... maybe this should be a new post. I'm sure a lot of us can relate.
for you mama.
