Hello, I've not been here for a while. I just wanted to check in on everyone and update...
Lisa, I'm so sorry to read that you've been having a hard time with your c-section decision. I've read (somewhere...) that we are all born and all die exactly the way we are supposed to. Your babies were meant to be born just the way they were, and while it was very hard for you I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that all things happen as they are supposed to happen.
Okay this is about the time when, if someone said that to me, I'd pop them in the nose! :LOL
I actually loathe comments like that - you know - "everything happens for a reason..." But this one has helped me somewhat.
I had intended to labor for a VBAC (my due date was in August). I had a cyst on my ovary that was being monitored and in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy it grew fist-sized, so I had the option of either going for a VBAC and then surgery at 6 weeks post-partem, which meant no BFing for several days, or removing it during a C-section. So I chose the C-section since I was concerned about trying to pump and bottlefeed for nearly a week so early on.
I went into labor on July 29, three weeks early, and labored naturally for 12 hours. It was wonderful to experience labor! My 1st dc was born via scheduled c-section so I had never felt a labor pain. I'm glad to have felt what it's like.
My contractions were about 3 mins apart when my OB made it in to perform the Csection (she had been delayed during her rounds). I was terrified that I was going to die and never see my dd again. This c-section was so much harder to go into because of that fear. I can't even really think about the birth of my son because I was so afraid; I truly wanted to just go home and crawl in bed with my dd. I'm crying right now as I write this - This is the first time I've tried to even think about it. I almost became hysterical and forced myself to "shut down" emotionally before my dh came into the OR to be with me during the surgery. I almost had no emotion when Miles was born. I didn't anticipate having such a hard time since my previous c-section was such a beautiful experience...
BUT! Thank goodness we did the c-section!!!
Had it not been for that cyst, I would have tried for a VBAC. And that may have been catastrophic - when my OB made her first incision she immediately said "I'm so glad we didn't VBAC!" I was shocked since she really wanted me to VBAC... I asked why, and she told me that my previous incision was beginning to open up on the right side. She felt that if I'd continued to labor much longer I would have ruptured!
The cyst turned out to be a benign teratoma (one of those weird tumors with hair and teeth cells) and was successfully removed without taking out my ovary. That's good - but the recovery has been extremely challenging. The region of that ovary was very painful - and my recovery in general has been much more difficult than the way I remember my previous c-section recovery.
Anyway, that's what's up with my situation... Miles is a beautiful, sweet, easy baby - thank goodness since I've had a hard time getting around til the past couple of weeks!