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Cesarean Section Support Thread September 2005 - Page 6

post #101 of 122
I have one good friend who was terrific. She's never had kids, and probably never will. When I was pushing for a VBA2C, she asked me one day why I didn't want a repeat section. I spent fully half an hour on the phone going over everything I hate about the experience...and she listened. At the end, she just said, "I had no idea it was such a terrifying experience. I can see why you don't want another one". There was no judgment call - no "but it's best for your baby" - no comments on how lucky I am to be here...nothing.
post #102 of 122
I need to join you ladies. I had my beautiful daughter Maimuna by c-sec on the 13th after a failed induction due to high BP, and I'm now dealing with treating an *open* incision...is there a puke smiley somewhere? My baby was also in the NICU for a fever, and had to endure all manner of tests including a spinal tap! To top it off, our power was out for 4 days this week due to freak fall storms...talk about Murphy's Law. Anyway, I am obviously having some rotten feelings about the whole thing, although my daughter is a gorgeous kiddo, growing like a weed, and nursing like crazy.

Thanks in advance for your support.
post #103 of 122
Hello, I've not been here for a while. I just wanted to check in on everyone and update...

Lisa, I'm so sorry to read that you've been having a hard time with your c-section decision. I've read (somewhere...) that we are all born and all die exactly the way we are supposed to. Your babies were meant to be born just the way they were, and while it was very hard for you I hope you can find some comfort in the fact that all things happen as they are supposed to happen.
Okay this is about the time when, if someone said that to me, I'd pop them in the nose! :LOL
I actually loathe comments like that - you know - "everything happens for a reason..." But this one has helped me somewhat.

I had intended to labor for a VBAC (my due date was in August). I had a cyst on my ovary that was being monitored and in the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy it grew fist-sized, so I had the option of either going for a VBAC and then surgery at 6 weeks post-partem, which meant no BFing for several days, or removing it during a C-section. So I chose the C-section since I was concerned about trying to pump and bottlefeed for nearly a week so early on.

I went into labor on July 29, three weeks early, and labored naturally for 12 hours. It was wonderful to experience labor! My 1st dc was born via scheduled c-section so I had never felt a labor pain. I'm glad to have felt what it's like.

My contractions were about 3 mins apart when my OB made it in to perform the Csection (she had been delayed during her rounds). I was terrified that I was going to die and never see my dd again. This c-section was so much harder to go into because of that fear. I can't even really think about the birth of my son because I was so afraid; I truly wanted to just go home and crawl in bed with my dd. I'm crying right now as I write this - This is the first time I've tried to even think about it. I almost became hysterical and forced myself to "shut down" emotionally before my dh came into the OR to be with me during the surgery. I almost had no emotion when Miles was born. I didn't anticipate having such a hard time since my previous c-section was such a beautiful experience...

BUT! Thank goodness we did the c-section!!!

Had it not been for that cyst, I would have tried for a VBAC. And that may have been catastrophic - when my OB made her first incision she immediately said "I'm so glad we didn't VBAC!" I was shocked since she really wanted me to VBAC... I asked why, and she told me that my previous incision was beginning to open up on the right side. She felt that if I'd continued to labor much longer I would have ruptured!

The cyst turned out to be a benign teratoma (one of those weird tumors with hair and teeth cells) and was successfully removed without taking out my ovary. That's good - but the recovery has been extremely challenging. The region of that ovary was very painful - and my recovery in general has been much more difficult than the way I remember my previous c-section recovery.

Anyway, that's what's up with my situation... Miles is a beautiful, sweet, easy baby - thank goodness since I've had a hard time getting around til the past couple of weeks!

post #104 of 122
Alison - it sounds as though your gut was telling you the same thing your logic was telling you! I'm glad everything worked out for you. Having an ovarian cyst would be terrifying, I think.

I'm happy you got to experience labour, as well. I've had two sections with labour, and one without, and the one without felt all wrong to me. I love labour! DH & I might have one more baby, and even if I agree to a section, I'm going to insist on labouring first again.

And, I know exactly what you mean about sweet, easy babies. DD is a handful and a half, and Evan is sooo easy to deal with. My recovery was a bit rough, due to an infected incision and a move at 10 days pp. If Evan had been a difficult baby, it would have been hell. It's soooo much harder to recover when there's another little one running around...
post #105 of 122

forewarned..its long

:LOL Hi ladies, mind if i join in? i had both a vaginal birth and an emer c-section. i do feel like i'd been robbed of the ability to give birth vaginally. w/ my first dd, she was 3 days late and my water finally broke, just a trickle. i was in labor for 21hrs and 12 of those i labored on pit. i'd had an epidural and i progressed VERY slowly..but she finally decended into the birth canal and i only had to push for 10 min...

then w/ my second dd i started having ctxn'sat 32 wks and went to the emer. room and they stopped the labor w/ tributelene (sp?) i continued having ctxn's for the next 6wks, but my cervix never softened..so i had painful contractions w/ no progressing so my ob decided that we should induce me at 39wks. (hindsight i should have said no and just let nature take its course, but i didn't) i was given cervidil at 4:30pm on mon night. june 14th. by 5am i was progressing, i was at 3cm. they removed the cervidil since i was dilating and at 9am they started me on pit. by 9:30am they started watching her heartrate cuz it dropped w/ every ctxn. they stopped the pit but her heartrate was still dropping w/ every ctxn so they decided to do an emer. c-sec. carson was born at 10:55am tues june 15th. the cord was wrapped around her neck twice and w/ every ctxn it would tighten and not let her decend. i told them i wanted to bf right away and i was able to about 45 min after she was born. i wanted this birth, like we all do, to be magical. i wanted my older dd to see her little sister immediately after her birth and it was going to be this wonderous moment in time. but i missed that moment...my husband took our newest dd and introduced her to the rest of the family waiting...my oldest kya got to meet her little sister, carson, and i never saw it. i was still in the operating room. i've seen the pictures of that moment, but all i feel is dissappointment that i wasn't there to see it or share it w/ my husband...

now i want a 3rd but my state, mississippi, doesn't regularly do vbac's. i don't want another c-section. i don't know if my wanting another child is because i want another chance at a vaginal birth...and would i be comfortable having a vbac at home, which might be my only option. that scares me a bit...what if something went wrong...we have midwifes here and i would completely feel comfortable w/ a midwife, but i don't know about having my next at home...i wish we had birthing centers here!! :

sorry so long...it felt good to get that out and actually voice my dissappointments to women that understand....thank you
post #106 of 122
If something went wrong at home, a midwife would realize, I think. So, you'd probably be okay doing that.

It's ridiculous that you aren't "allowed" to VBAC in a hospital. You've only had one section, and you've given birth vaginally. That sounds about as low risk as it gets to me. Doctors and malpractice insurers are completely paranoid about VBAC...makes you wonder how they can justify doing that much damage to a woman's body in the first place, doesn't it?

I'm so sorry that you didn't get to see your little girl meet her sister. With my second and third, the older siblings didn't meet them until I was on the ward. So, I got to see it when they met, and I don't blame you for being upset at missing it.

As for wanting another vaginal birth, I can certainly understand that. Think about whether you want another baby, as well as another birth. If you do, I wish you the best in finding a caregiver to support you in that. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to have that birth!
post #107 of 122
I had an interesting conversation with my sister today. I was talking about my SIL's comments about how I'm "lucky you didn't have to push out a 10-pounder". My sister said that SIL has told her several times that she feels really badly for me and that even though my nephew (10lb., 1oz.) hurt a lot, she'd rather do that many times than have to have a c-section. She's also said several times that she feels terrible that I've never had the experience of giving birth.

I have to figure that the "you're lucky" comments are actually her way of trying to make me feel better about the sections...wow...
post #108 of 122
Thread Starter 
Wow! That's crazy Storm Bride. Well, its good that she doesn't really think that you are lucky to have had a c-sec. I wonder if her comments about family size are also her way of trying to make you feel better. At least she has your best intentions in mind even though they are comming out all wrong. I wonder if someone could tell her that the "you're lucky" comments aren't a good idea to tell someone that had a c-sec, so she won't do it in the future to you, or to anyone else.
post #109 of 122
Ammaarrah ~ I sorry that you have to join us here! Gosh, you and your poor baby have been through a lot already! I hope you are settling in. I'm so glad she is nursing well though. I'm sure you know that statistically, c-s baby are less likely to be bf so I'm always happy to see people beat those odds!!!

Kelly ~ Any possibility you could go somewhere more vbac-friendly to have another baby? I know that's a hard option but it makes me so mad when states take away a mother's right to birth the way she wants. I think you would be a good candidate for a home birth though, especially since you have already had a VB. I'm sure a midwife would know when to transfer you!
post #110 of 122
Oh, and Kelly, I just wanted to say that that is one of my biggest disappointments with my c-s experience - I wasn't there when everyone found out about our baby. My dh walked out with the baby and greeted my parents her were in the waiting room. He called everyone while I was in recovery. I never saw anyone's reactions. We didnt' know the sex of our baby and I was so excited for all of us to find out but I missed out on all that stuff.
post #111 of 122
Sandy - I don't think the comments will bother quite as much now that I know this. I can try to think about it the way she seems to mean it, instead of feeling as though she envies my surgery.

How are you doing?
post #112 of 122
Thread Starter 
Lisa - I'm glad that you can make peace with your sil's comments. It's crazy what people say when they're just trying to make you feel better.

I'm doing well on most days. I'm back at work now (at a different office) and have only had one encounter with a fellow employee (one I saw about once a week while I was pg). Apparently she hadn't heard the news and asked me how my little one was doing. I told her and she looked like she could have crawled in a hole and died. She felt so bad, I would have been ok except for the fact that she kept on saying "I'm sorry" over and over and over and over. Well, that did it. I ended up crying in the bathroom for half the morning. I'm training a new girl at work and she lost her 10yr old daughter 3 yrs ago. She ended up comming in the bathroom and consoling me. I'm so thankful that she is at our office for a few weeks. It helps to have someone there that knows what you are going thru.
On a brighter note - On monday I have my first appt with my new OB. I'm REALLY looking forward to meeting him. He is my sil's OB and I've heard REALLY good things about his practice. So on monday I get to find out when I get to ttc again. I've heard anything from 3 mo - 1yr! So, it'll be interesting to hear what his opinion is. I'm going to go with whatever he says since he will be the one seeing me thru my next pregnancy. But hopefully it will be closer to the 3 month mark.
Betcha didn't expect a novel when you asked how I was doing! :LOL
post #113 of 122
I'm always half expecting a novel. If someone asks me why I had a c-section, I end up feeling as though I've told them my life story.

It sounds as though you're coping okay. I can't imagine going through what you did. My miscarriages screwed me up enough...

Good luck with your OB. I've never found a solid answer to that one, either. If I have another, I think I'll wait for the 9-month mark, as most of what I've read suggests 18 months as the "magic number" where the risk decreases for VBAC. I'm looking forward to hearing how things go.
post #114 of 122
Originally Posted by Storm Bride

I have to figure that the "you're lucky" comments are actually her way of trying to make me feel better about the sections...wow...
I think probably she's trying to make herself feel better, too.

There were 2 women who I really appreciated after my c-sect. Both were women I had known a while, and had talked with about natural birth, c-sects, etc before I had dd. Both waited until after I had her to tell me about the injuries their children had during vag. birth. One had bruises on his forehead from her pubic bone. The other had a broken collarbone, "and he was really mad!" There wasn't any judgement, they just reminded me gently that vag birth can sometimes be traumatic for babies too.

I will always be grateful for these 2 women for knowing when NOT to tell me their stories, and then for knowing when to tell them to me.
post #115 of 122
i'm thankful this thread is here. i'm coming up on one year now, and the c-birth still affects me, physically and emotionally. thank you all for being here for each other.
post #116 of 122
Meli . I'm coming up on 2 years soon, and we're ttc#2 so I know where you are coming from.
post #117 of 122
Originally Posted by dlm194
=I'm sure you know that statistically, c-s baby are less likely to be bf so I'm always happy to see people beat those odds!!!

I have had 2 c/s and nused both babies. My first nursed for 2 1/2 years before he decided to wean. My second is still nursing and we are fast coming up on the 1 year mark.

I attribute nursing my first and sticking with it to pure stubborness. I had a terrible time at first.. nipple and ductal thrush..he was a terribly colicy baby.. and I think that had I had an "easy" vaginal birth... I might not have stuck with it, as embarrassing as it is to admit.. I do think that it is true.. But since I had a c/s and felt much failure in that dept.. I was determined not to "fail" again.....

With my second.. I knew I would nurse her.. I had with the first child and had made it through such a difficult time.. that I knew mostly anything that could happen would not be as bad. I was right, for me at least, it was much easier the second time around.. We had some thrush issues again.. but I knew what to look out for and how to proactivly treat it. So it was fine..

I never realized that c/s babies were less likely to be nursed.. I wonder why? Is it because of the trauma of the birth? The drugs affecting when the milk comes in? The high likely hood that the baby will need NICU care? PPD? Antibiotics?
I am curious to know...

post #118 of 122
Thread Starter 
Lisa - I had my appt with my new OB today. I am REALLY happy that I switched practices. My new OB is WONDERFUL! I am 3 months post c-sec and he said that there was no reason to wait to ttc, as long as WE were ready to. YEAH! I'm not getting any younger, and I do want at least 2 children if not 3. I will have a repeat c-sec (b/c of the circumstances surrounding the last delivery) so there will be no extra waiting time as there might be for a VBAC. I'm currently at the tail end of AF so we can start ttc REALLY soon!
post #119 of 122
bens mommy~im so happy to hear your ob appt went so well!! sounds like you guys can ttc soon

chantald~i nursed my baby 45 min after my c-sec. i nursed my first too and she was vaginal. my second was actually easier but im positive it was cuz she was my second and i already knew what to expect. but those first 3 weeks w/ my first were the hardest thing i ever did. and i too was soooo stubborn about it and im glad i did

dlm194 and stormbride~thanks so much for the reassurance that a vaginal birth might still be an option for me. i would really like to have a third and i think if my dh finallly caves, we can start ttc soon. my youngest is 16 mos now so i think that would make it ok for a vbac. im going to really research it and see if a vbac is possible in a hospital here or if not im going to go for the homebirth. its not like i live in a very rural area so if i needed to be transferred for any reason to a hospital, they are close by...
post #120 of 122
I suspect the lower breastfeeding success rate for c/s moms is caused by two factors:

1) the milk takes longer to come in for some women (me, with my second), so it's hard to believe that it's going to work out in the end, and your baby isn't being satisfied at the breast; and
2) it's so hard to get comfortable at all, and having to sit still to nurse is very difficult.

I persisted with my first out of sheer bloodymindedness. I didn't have any of the "real" problems - no thrush, no mastitis, no plugged ducts...nothing like that. But, my nipples were one big mass of scabs and cracks for the first three weeks or a month. It hurt to feed him - it hurt to pump - it hurt to take a shower or a bath - it hurt to breathe, almost! But, I was absolutely determined - I figured that millions and millions of women had breastfed their babies, and there was no reason to believe that I couldn't. And, eventually, it was blissful.

My second was tough, too, but that's because dd was kind of...squirrelly. My milk didn't come in well, and she was a very inattentive nurser - she'd latch on about 10 times in the course of a 5 minute feeding.

DS2 is a treat. I never knew getting breastfeeding established could be this easy!
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