Extremely Depressed - Page 2

[bleeglaser]

Update!

Well there is no longer any need to worry about the midwife and mom disagreeing. Midwife came up with the excuse that because of family history I have to deliver in the hospital. (Which I have my own doctor who knows that I'm having a homebirth and didn't show any concern about it, I'm sure that if I needed to be in the hospital he would have told me.) Needless to say I am now really ticked off. Not only is this lady trying to control who is at my birth but now she is trying to take away any control that I would have. And me being me, told her I didn't need her anymore. I'd rather deliver at home by myself than have this lady who #1 has no tact with concerns, #2 doesn't believe in a woman's ability to birth, and #3 doesn't give me choices. I don't understand why she is deliverey at home if she herself doesn't believe or uphold homebirth values. I mean am I wrong? The way I see it is that homebirth gives a woman a way to choose how to birth. I want my mom at my birth, I want to have my baby at home, I want my husband to catch our baby, I want to be in the water, I want a great experience, I want to peacefully and painlessly bring my child into this world. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that. Am I wrong? I'm just so frustrated.

[WinterBaby]

No, you're not wrong, and how absolutely upsetting and frustrating. It does sound like an excuse of your midwife's, rather than just saying she's not comfortable being your birth attendent. Which she should have decided and informed you some time OTHER than around your due date if that's the case. I feel for you and hope you can have the birth you want in spite of these set backs. You can do this, sending you positive thoughts )

[alegna]

I'm glad that you've made peace with a decision. I would have chosen UC probably too (though I would have had no problems kicking my mom out)

good luck!

-Angela

[Music-mommy]

wow that sure is strange! I seem to remember you saying that you had this mw for your first birth? (I'm editing this because I just read your signature and realized this is your first birth). Anyhow, it is very odd that she'd react so drastically after meeting your mom.

Anyhow, it's great that you fired her and are going UC rather than listening to her and being convinced you *need* a hospital birth. I would do the same. I'm sure everything will be fine. Just trust that your body knows what to do. Trust your intuition, and you'll have a great birth.

I just gave birth for the 2nd time at home, and could totally have gone unassisted. My mw is very hands off, but I feel I could just as easily have done it without her. (though it was nice to have her there to clean up :LOL )

[ZeldasMom]

Originally Posted by bleeglaser

Midwife came up with the excuse that because of family history I have to deliver in the hospital.

I think you sound totally right on and like a strong birthin' mama!

I am sorry you are having to deal with this situation though.

Just curious, did your midwife give any specific reason for recommending a hospital birth at the last minute?

[Peppamint]

Keep us updated!

PS- I would recommend doing some reading up on UC since you mentioned this is new territory for you and your dh.

[bleeglaser]

Update

Hooray! I have found another midwife that is just amazing! I am so relieved to be in her care. She is hands off and believes in women. Just talking to her has made me more relaxed. DH and I were determined to have a homebirth assisted or not. Of course we would prefer someone there just for our own peace of mind. And so we researched and made calls and asked advice in the local midwifery community. And here we are with a great lady willing to be there even this late in the game. I want to thank everyone who has responded to my depressed cry for help. Knowing that the old midwife shouldn't be controlling the birth gave me alot of courage. With your reassurance I was able to really stick to my guns and make the decisions that I really wanted. I will have my homebirth with a supportive midwife and with my supportive mom at my side. Mom may not support homebirth exactly but she supports me and my abilities to birth. It will be an awesome experience, and I can't wait to have it. Thanks again everyone.

[applejuice]

Good luck, and you still have the option of telling your mom to leave.

[flapjack]

Good luck, and I'm glad things are working out for you. If it's any help, my mum is a huge homebirth advocate since Alex's birth and she will happily chat to anyone and everyone about it so, if you think talking to someone who has been in her position might help, let me know and I'll pass her email address along.
The depression, strangely enough, could be a good sign- it sounds like you're starting to prepare emotionally as well as physically for your birth I always did a week or so beforehand. Happy birthing!

[Peppamint]

Hurray! Keep us posted and happy birthing!

[ZeldasMom]

Have a wonderful birth!

[Music-mommy]

congratulations! and kudos to you for sticking to your guns.

Happy birthing!

[WinterBaby]

Welcome to your new baby! I hope everything is going beautifully =)

[applejuice]

I see from your signature that your son has arrived.

Well begun is half done!

Good luck with your 2005 model with 18 year payments!

[Ms.Doula]

Yes, wheres the update/Birthstory???

[bleeglaser]

Update

We had a beautiful baby boy! I had my homebirth with my mother there. She did well, she was very supportive and I was glad she was there. She did worry about some things as far as sanitary issues(gloves etc). The midwife was amazing. I'm so glad she decided not to be retired for a day or two. She was an angel. It was a 9 hour and 45 min labor. I was 7cms dialated 45mins before Zavien was born. My body(not me) pushed him out in two pushes in the same contraction. I had three tears(two deep). And it all really hurt. But I am already living God's blessing and forgetting the pain. I am reconsidering my no more kids statement . He weighed 9lbs even and was 22.5 inches long with a 13.5 head circumferance. We love him He is this amazing little(big) guy. So glad to have experienced what I did and so glad taht it's over. Good luck to you all and thank you for all your support.

[Ms.Doula]

: : WOW!! CONGRATS MAMA!!! : :

[Peppamint]

Congrats!!!!