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Do you care what religion (or not) your children will choose? - Page 2

post #21 of 46
I hope that whatever spiritual path they each choose to walk teaches tolerance and love for others regardless of their differences.
post #22 of 46
Dearest Friends;

I have given my dc's a solid basis in a religious background w/ a strong sense of community and tradition. I hope they follow it.

If not, I hope they find happiness in the path they choose.

You can plant the seed and nurture the plant, but you need to let go after a while.
post #23 of 46
I am torn on this one:

I am very passionate about my faith (Wicca) and I have made sure to include my son in pretty much every celebration we've ever been at. I think that I would be lying if I said that a part of me wouldn't be disappointed if he were to become, say, Southern Baptist (yikes!).

That being said, I am very, very interested in world religions, and there are very few that I find truly disconcerting (to be polite). I wouldn't want my son to be a fundamentalist in any faith- I agree with those who said that it is not religion that divides us, but a lack of tolerance for others (that can sometimes be seen on this very board) beliefs.

I am proud of being a Pagan Parent- and I hope that I will raise a Pagan child. But as I converted away from the path that my parents raised ME in, I would be hypocritical to be upset with my child were he to do the same. I want him to seek after his own truth...but secretly, I hope his truth is the same as mine. :2
post #24 of 46
Thread Starter 
Meira:

"I hope that whatever spiritual path they each choose to walk teaches tolerance and love for others regardless of their differences."

Wow. I'm going to print that up and put it on my fridge door.

Lovebeads: "Anyway, I think it would be a tragedy for us to lose our cultures/religions/beliefs because that is what makes people so interesting."

I agree with this 100%. I'm not really talking, though, about forgoing differences, and diluting them down. But about tolerance, and understanding that each individual needs to come to his or her own 'truth', and needs to find his or her own way to make that journey.

As with our discussion about religious education, I wish that everyone could become thoroughly educated about cultures and beliefs other than their own. That they would celebrate differences, and not fear them.

If that were the case, surely we would not need to fear that our children might turn to another religion? Or even hope that they will not?
post #25 of 46
Quote:
If that were the case, surely we would not need to fear that our children might turn to another religion? Or even hope that they will not?
I think the problem in religion esp. for the US is the extremist views held by some groups. And the intolerance. Meira's comment is great. But there are groups who do not hold other's views with the same respect as their own and it would concern me if one of my kids decided to join that.
post #26 of 46
Absolutely Rene, ITA. Those are excellent points.
post #27 of 46
Thread Starter 
"But there are groups who do not hold other's views with the same respect as their own and it would concern me if one of my kids decided to join that."

You are right.

I"m also thinking hard today about the word 'tolerance'. Is tolerance of others' beliefs enough? I don't want my girls just to grow up to tolerate others who are different to themselves. I want them to be interested and excited by diversity and welcome it without fear or suspicion. I want them to do more than tolerate.

But of course, I don't want them to tolerate people who use their religion as an excuse to treat others badly or disrespectfully. Or worse. :
post #28 of 46
I guess I agree with a few other folks. I consider myself a Buddhist and I like the path. I was baptized a Lutheran, I went to church occasionally and the Christian-centered aspect of the society I was brought up in isn't lost on me. However, no one demanded I chose or reflect anything in particular and I was able to make my own choice. Which I'm very comfortable with. And I would do the same for my kids. I think I was presented with fine morals, whether I reflect them or not Hopefully being mindful as a parent I can reflect good values and demonstrate that they can make their own decisions and they will chose a path that makes sense to them. I figure we'll have more to talk about if we're on the same page, but we could still have plenty to discuss if they decide to be fundamental christians. My best friend is a devout christian, and I love her to bits. Although she's aparenty supposed to be setting a good example and showing me the light, she never tries to change my path and respects my choices. I'm grateful for that.

T
Britishmum - did you think my explanation of Merry Christmas vs Happy Holidays answered your question in that other thread? Aparently the use of the term politically correct wasn't well received. I stopped reading the thread, so maybe you answered the question there. Sorry to go off topic here, I just wasn't sure, wasn't going to ask, but, I'm here, what the heck - if it's not too detremental to this discussion...

Cheers!!

Lori

edit: But, sometimes I wish I had someone on the same path to talk to. I can discuss moral and theoretical issues, but when it comes to being a "good Buddhist", there's no one in my family to talk to. (I couldn't talk to them about being a good Lutheran, either for that matter). There's a Buddhist temple in my area, but I haven't had the nerve to talk to them, yet.
post #29 of 46
Thread Starter 
MysticHealerMom - I'll go back over there and see. It's been such a long thread, I need to go back over it. But first, I really must do some work. More later.
post #30 of 46
Sorry, don't work too hard I was the first one to reply on that thread... Cheers! Lori
post #31 of 46
Of course I care...and of course I hope that my example will inspire my child(ren) to choose the same path.

Religiously speaking, I see it as my duty to raise [them] to become devout Muslims.

Pragmatically speaking, as a convert myself, I see the need of the individual to find a version of Truth he/she best understands...and I also see the pain a parent can feel when a child turns toward a different path.

I have a long road ahead as a parent and as a child, and I am sure I will develop more coherent thoughts, and more graceful wisdom, on this subject.
post #32 of 46
this is probably an off-topic post to mystichealermom, but i don't know the protocol on the boards for uninvited pms, so i am posting to the thread and hoping that doesn't bother anyone too much...

lori, i also would love to have someone to talk to on the buddhist path, and i was excited to read your post. my dh listens well and can talk to me about some of the issues that come up in my practice or in my dharma readings, but he doesn't sit himself and i think an intellectual understanding of buddhism takes you only so far. eventually, you have to start experiencing/realizing the various truths that dharma teachers talk about or you kind of plateau in your understanding. at least that's how i interpret my husband's ability to go just so far with all this.
i do have a meditation group, but oddly enough, few of the women in it sit outside of our weekly meeting, so there's only so much i can bring up there before they start to look at me weirdly (not really, they're very nice, but they just don't have much input for me.)
feel free to pm me if you want to talk more. or perhaps we could start a buddhist thread...
susan
post #33 of 46
Hi Susan,

I think an initial, "hi there, wanna chat intro" pm is okey dokey, and I do it all the time. So far, no complaints. I welcome pm's

I'll pm about discussing Buddhism. I found another mamma on the threads from mentioning an interest in Buddhism, perhaps we can start a circle .

Cheers!!

Lori
post #34 of 46
We are raising our daughter catholic. And sadly because the public schools around here are not great and private is too expensive she will go to parochial(sp?) school. However, she is welcome to experiment and choose what feels good to her. We don't go to mass every Sunday. So hopefully in four years time private or home schooling will be an option.
post #35 of 46
I care very much what my children choose. I am Christian and the Bible says in many places that it is a parent's responsibility to teach their children about God, Jesus, salvation, the right way to live and follow God, etc.

Being Christian, I also believe that there is only one way to God. That is Jesus Christ, who died for our sins. Therefore, if my kids don't follow Christ, they aren't serving God.

I don't care what church they end up at, as long as it's Christian and they are growing in their walk with the Lord.
post #36 of 46
I really want to pass on my precious cultural heritage, which has a strong religious component, and...I would feel deep grief if my child decided to join another religious tradition.

But I don't know what my child's Judaism will look like, and I don't want to place any heavy expectations on it.

Once I was in the supermarket in my not-majority-Jewish neighborhood and I was behind a mom with her 3 or 4 year old. She was buying him a kind of cheesy looking plastic top, just because they saw it and she thought he might like it. (in matters of taste...) Suddenly, he began to sing at the top of his lungs in Hebrew: "sivivon, sov sov sov, Hanukah hu hag tov!" which is a Hanukah song about the dreidel, or traditional top. It was May or June! He was all smiles! It was so great!

That's what would make me happy, if this baby I'm having were fully delighted with the unique religion and culture we have to pass to her or him. It's not that I want my kid to do religion how I do it, I just want her to love it how I love it.
post #37 of 46
It matters to me more than anything else. I would feel as though I have failed if they turn from Christ. I consider it my up most responsibility as a parent to raise them in such a way that they would grow up loving the Lord Jesus Christ and following his teachings. How they choose to worship Him and serve Him is up to them as long as the worship Him and serve Him.

So just to clarify i don't care what denomination or not they are so long as they are Christians (and not just talkin' the talk Christians but walkin' the walk Christians)
post #38 of 46
I also care very much! I want my daughter to follow Christ, and I do care what denomination she follows under...sorry, I do.

That said, I will still love her nomatter what, I will continue to support her individuality...she has the right to make those decisions on her own.

While she lives in my house, I will request that she attends church with us (her family), but if she has decided to worship elswhere that is her choice.

although, she is small now...she doesn't have a choice as to where to go...she goes where mommy goes Until she can voice an opinion I will take it that she is a-ok with going to church with us
post #39 of 46
I care very much about my daughters' religious choices. It would kill me inside if they were to join any religion that doesn't treat them with total equality as women. (And by this, I mean any religion where there are offices that women are ineligible to hold.) I hope that they avoid fundamentalism of any flavor.

Having said all this, I recognize that this is one decision that I do not get to make. I had a particular religion shoved down my throat until I moved out of my parents house and I'm still resentful 20+ years later!
post #40 of 46
All of what we are saying is wonderful--but I have to add that I agree with Yammer on the groupthink issue. It is so easy to get wrapped up in the belonging, and to sit back and be told how to behave, and not examine there wherefores and whys...I think, and in great measure I hope that right here is where we modern faithful have a chance to change all that. I want my boy to grow up with faith and belief that he is a part of divine Creation, and I want that belief to inspire him to be his best. I also want it to spur him to think of all the rest of Creation as from God too--and I want that whisper to be at the back of his mind at all times. I want it to fill him with constant wonder, and I want him to feel free in his thoughts and in the world.
I obviously see great merit in the path I have chosen--but I want him to choose the path for its merit, and not out of fear of me, or his father, or society. He should choose because his thinking brain takes him there. Does that make sense?:
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