Mothering › Forums › Education › Learning at School › Ew, Homework = Frustration !!!!!!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Ew, Homework = Frustration !!!!!!  

post #1 of 6
Thread Starter 
Am I the only mama who gets frustrated doing homework with dd?! What makes it worse is that I am a children's librarian but I seem to have zero patience with my own child. She does not try as hard as I know she can and acts as if she has zero interest in learning. I was always an over-achiever as a student and loved to learn. How do I instill this in her? Why do I get angry when she won't cooperate? Lot's of times I suggest that we just take a break for a few minutes so we can both regroup, but I sometimes feel that showing any dissapointment in her will result in less self-confidence and therefore less desire to learn or work hard. Also, let me add that I do not have all night to do homework with dd, I am in my last year of my Masters and work as a librarian during the day and am a single mom. I feel horrible that at work I have patience for children in the library but little for my own. I go to school and work so my dd can have a better life but am I hurting her at the same time?
post #2 of 6
I'm not sure how old she is or what kind of homework she has but I would suggest letting her do it on her own, without your help unless she requests it. I know when my dd1 was in kindergarten and 1st grade, we could both get really frustrated during homework time. It worked better for us to have a quiet time at the formal dining room table when she did her homework and I was at the other end paying bills or writing letters or something else that was quiet paperwork. Then she could ask me if she had a question but she was not relying on me every step of the way. If she asked for a break, she got one. Our frustration was also really reduced when we gave it plenty of time, not the night before it was due to be turned in...

In 2nd and 3rd grade, it was much easier for her to do it on her own and we had less frustration. I also never corrected mistakes or showed her where they were. I want the teacher to know what SHE knows, not what I know.
post #3 of 6
I agree with Kirsten, it has been more successful not to really try to part of the homework situation. My dd is pretty motivated, but about every 4th day she just seems to like to pretend she can't do things she's assigned. It seems to be just a way to hook me somehow (or else that's what I seem to let it do on a bad day!!) When I work at giving her space and letting it be between her and her teacher it seems to go better.

I agree, though, it is a pain.
post #4 of 6
We have not had the homework issue yet but we've done workbooks and, I've found that ds surprises me with what he can accomplish all by himself. If I'm sitting there with him, he constantly looks at me for reassurance, but if I leave the table and let him work alone he can rip right through it in record time and it's usually correct when I check it. Just a thought.
post #5 of 6
I quickly scanned the first response, but didn't really read any of them. I opened your post because I had the same issue with my ds last year (and am anticipating it again when school starts this week). He is so bright and learning comes so easily to him and he is a royal PIA when it comes to homework. I learned two things--one, he is far far better with only one parent around and without his sibling nearby. Two, he is best in his room with me coming by periodically but not actually acknowledging him--i.e., I walk past his open doorway, thus, making myself available but not asking him how he's doing or if he needs help. When tantrums arose, I simply said, "You need to do your homework, let me know if you need help." When I actually tried to help, all hell broke loose. I felt weird, probably similarly to you, because I also work with children for a living and have lots and lots of patience for other people's children. My own, not so much. My ds got a weekly packet last year (we have yet to see how the current year will go, but so far I am not encouraged by the neighborhood parents) and I often let him do as much as he wanted (two to three days worth) and then let him choose from amongst the leftover tasks. Hang in there. Try to remove yourself as much as possible from the equation. I also remember being a kid and not wanting my parents around while I did my homework. It irritated me.
post #6 of 6
Thread Starter 
hey girls, thanks for all your input. DD is 7 and going into 2nd grade and just letting her do it on her own and being available if she needs help is a great idea. Maybe everything backfires because I am sitting there and she feels like I am breathing down her neck. Sometimes the best solutions are the simplest ones - like removing myself from the situation. I don't know why I never thought of that. I'll let you know how it goes tonight. Today is her first day back to school.....
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Learning at School
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Education › Learning at School › Ew, Homework = Frustration !!!!!!