Weekly chat, September 5-11

[HoneyTree]

Hello, ladies! Hope everyone is having a lovely labor day. Amazingly, there was a slight breeze today that could *almost* be called cool. I spent an hour and a half in the garden this morning -- it felt so nice to be outside!

We spent the weekend at my husband's 10-year high school reunion. The reunion itself was fun, but time spent with MIL and step-FIL was strained to say the least; she had a cigarette in her hand the whole weekend and made snippy comments about people who thought that her smoke was infecting them, and they both tried to talk us into buying a gun to protect ourselves from anti-white thugs, made numerous references to stories they had seen on Fox News, and reminded us that if our Doberman did not take to the baby right away, that he'd have to be destroyed "because it only takes one bite." Sometimes I think it is amazing how much we are willing to put up with in order to keep social situations placid.

My baby is not even close to being settled yet -- I feel big shifts and kicks at all corners of my belly and all throughout the day. I'm feeling a little anxious for her to get into position, even though I know there's still a little time left for that.

Other than that, things are swimming along. How is everyone else?

[trmpetplaya]

Really tired... I wake up tired and have trouble falling asleep if there's the slightest noise. I don't have trouble with getting comfortable amazingly enough, but noises drive me nuts. The cat meows over and over at the crack of dawn (which is getting later and later, thank goodness!).

Work is getting really obnoxious now. I would have quit already if they didn't pay my insurance and since we can't afford insurance right now (especially if I quit...) I better just suck it up for the 40 or so more days I have to work. There's a consultant micro-managing my department and stressing everyone out. I'm not stressed personally because I'm a really good, fast worker, but being around so many stressed people is really stressful :

Our room is almost straightened out! It was a royal mess before and now it actually looks semi-decent. The furniture is all set up where we want it and it looks somewhat liveable again. My midwife is coming over tomorrow so we're getting the house straightened up today. I'm procrastinating about it because it's not that bad... and I'm still really tired so I don't feel like doing much right now.

Anyhow... I guess that's about it. I haven't been around too much online lately and I think I've missed a few of the weekly chats, but I hope everyone's doing well this week!

love and peace.

[dziejen]

I don't usually join the weekly chats because I join too late and have to scan through too many posts but I caught it early this week!! We had a small gathering today -- all family -- and had a nice time. The girls had fun with their cousin and the adults all chatted and ate. Now I am so tired and the baby is feeling like she is poking right out of my belly at times! I was planning on going to get my glucose test done tomorrow but I think I am going to put it off til Friday or Monday of next week -- too lazy!! Plus I have to get my Rhogam shot the same day and I am not ready for that yet either. Dd #2 goes back to preschool Friday so I am planning on getting lots of organizing done -- I have lots to freecycle, post on the TP and send to the LLL safe house for those affected by the hurricane -- I just need to get it all together. Plus I want to get a head start on getting my fall decorations out and the kids warmer clothes out of storage before I lose all my energy!! And I agree today was a beautiful Labor Day -- the weather was gorgeous -- hope all you November mamas had a great day too!!

[Belleweather]

School starts tomorrow, so I guess I wasn't successful in lobbying for the calender people to add another three weeks in august so I could feel caught up. I'm still not looking forward to starting classes again at all... I think it would be better if I didn't feel like the whole place was out to get me. It's mainly just because there's no parking and I have to walk up a gignormous hill to get to classes when even walking on flat ground gives me an asthma attack and makes me light headed.

We tried to see a movie this afternoon, but chose poorly -- the Constant Gardener is a fantastic movie, but the way the film is cut and shot gave me SUCH awful motion sickness. Plus, the kiddo was punching at my stomach the whole time. I actually had to go stand in the aisle and sway my hips around to try to calm him. I can tell he's getting bigger because those kicks are starting to hurt!

[BensMom]

Well, I posted my big scare today in the other thread, might as well save this space for good stuff.

DS and I went to our towns annual craft fair/carnival. We got there at 10am, thinking we would beat the heat, ride a few rides and be home by lunchtime. Well, the rides did not start til 12noon, so I had to kill time in the heat with a 4yo for 2 hours. Ugh. We made it. We ate lots of junky carnival food, but all in all, he did great. One kids ride scared the bejessus out of him, poor little guy, and he was a tad traumatized from it. We went on the carosel next and he didnt even want to get on a horse, we sat on the bench for the whole ride.

We leave for vacation Weds and I feel like I have so much to get ready before then. I will be skipping the gym tomorrow and hopefully will get it all done while DS is in school. And then there is the laundry, the packing, the cleaning so we dont leave the house a disaster for the petsitter.

DS is actually really looking forward to the trip, the first time he could anticipate a trip like this. Its exciting. He is excited about sleeping in a new house, playing at the ocean and...having a TV in the car! :LOL (We got one specially for this trip.)

Its still hot, hot hot, but hopefully it will start to calm down soon.

Our area is getting a lot of Katrina refugees and I hope to come up with some tangible way to help next week when we get back from vacation. I feel so moved by this tragedy, I hope there is someway I can help.

[bec]

I haven't been on for a while, but thought I would check in with everyone and see how everybody's doing! I've been having a harder pregnancy than with my other two. Probably because I'm chasing around the other two! :LOL I've basically been dragging for the past 7 months. I have also had a bunch of back pain, but weekly chiropracter visits have been helping to manage it. I my chiro!

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!


Bec

[Kavita]

I've been having a good week so far. The weekend has been very relaxing. Both of us get labor day off with pay, so it's been great to have a long weekend. We originally had ideas of doing major work around the house (we have one bedroom that needs painting and baseboards installed) but then we decided that it would be better just to rest and relax a little, which we don't get much time to do in the past couple of months, and certainly not together.

DH had brought home from work the first of the TV series "24" and was watching it Friday night. I got into it, and we ended up doing a "24" marathon weekend! We have 8 episodes to go . . . ! It was pretty gripping for the first 10 hours or so. Now we're getting a little tired, but it's still interesting enough that we are planning on watching another episode or two tonight. We'll slow down, though!

Other than that, no news is good news! Had a good MW appointment Saturday, and just enjoying hanging out for a change. We've still been doing a bit of housework and laundry here and there, but on breaks from TV! Started hypnobabies too, and that seems good so far.

[RainCoastMama]

*

[Gunter]

Mother's Blessing

Originally Posted by Belleweather

We tried to see a movie this afternoon, but chose poorly -- the Constant Gardener is a fantastic movie, but the way the film is cut and shot gave me SUCH awful motion sickness.

Sorry to hear about the motion sickness...DH keeps talking about this film. He really wants to see it. From one preggo to another, do ya think that I should pass?

I am expecting a better week! Last week was really tough.

My Mother's Blessing is on Friday. I planned it for the same weekend that DH goes on his annual guy rafting trip. We never do gender based stuff other than his rafting trip and my spa slumber party in Sept. This year it's still a spa slumber party with all my gal pals, a massage therapist, pedicures, wine and snacks but we'll also string a beaded necklace as people say the blessing, henna my belly and tie dye onsies and dipes.

My MIL is coming early on Friday to help me set up...my own mom and I aren't close and she's not coming. No surprise though...she has never been to visit DH and I in seven years we've been married and she has lived one southern state over for most of that time. My sister isn't coming either. I did weep and cry about this one morning about a month ago then sent out e-vite later that day! Woo hoo!

My best friend got engaged two weeks ago so she's been in her own world, too. Anyone else throwing themselves a mother's blessing and struggling not to feel like a loser about it? :LOL Honestly, I am such a controlling person that maybe it's for the best. The time spent with friends that night will erase all the lack of etiquette, etc...

[AmyGirl28]

Hello everyone. I hope you all had a nice Labor Day weekend. Mine sucked. We took a family trip to Oregon. DD did not sleep at all... neither did I. She was cranky and pulling at her ears. I think she has another ear infection. So, we came home early and finally got a good night's sleep. I am going to take her to the doctor tomorrow. My feet are starting to swell a little bit. I spent most of the day on the sofa with my feet propped up. Thank goodness I am 3/4 of the way there. Now the complaining starts. Hopefully the rest of the week goes better.

[flapjack]

Day two of maternity leave, day one of the new school term- it's 10am and already I'm bored...and hot, sticky and very very tired.
My adorable, darling ex-husband took the boys away for the weekend. I wrote a long soliloquy about it, but deleted it to say
:

Which pretty much covers my feelings neatly.
Hmm. Other than that, life is good, baby is growing by the second, my bump is growing by the nanosecond... my baby shower isn't until the end of October, but we had a communal trip to the pub yesterday, which was highly entertaining, and got to spend the whole weekend doing couple-y stuff (it's never happened before, really, because of the boys, but it's quite nice in a way.)

[3for3hb]

Originally Posted by Kavita

DH had brought home from work the first of the TV series "24" and was watching it Friday night. I got into it, and we ended up doing a "24" marathon weekend!

:LOL We watched seasons 1-3 a few weeks ago too!!! It's really an addiction. I couldn't stop watching! I did get my baby blanket mostly knitted during it though.

We had a pretty good weekend. Dh made up for all the pissiness and inconsiderate things he said by serving me breakfast in bed (fresh farm market cantaloupe, oat bran with sucanat and apples, and pregnancy tea)yesterday and letting me sleep until 9:30. No insomnia here... guess I had enough last time. I wake up at around 4:30 to 5:00 am for my nightly water and pee and usually get online because it's my only true alone time but ds gets up soon after and our day starts so sleeping in was a treat. Ds didn't take a nap on Saturday when we went to the cousins' birthday party so he was so overtired he cried basically all night long and I didn't get a wink of sleep. Then he was pretty fussy the night after but dh took care of him for the first half of the night and then let me sleep in. So I'm still not quite caught up on sleep.

We went to my BIL's house (apartment) yesterday and went swimming in the pool (I just soaked me feet). I had a hot dog and ewww burped it up the rest of the evening. Spent lots of my time with almost due SIL telling her little tidbits about labor and having a newborn. I told her about my spell with PPD and how it was about a year after giving birth to Willem that I finally started feeling like I was alive again. I think that kind of scared her a little. I'm gonna have to call her and make sure I didn't say something senseless to make her expect the same thing.

I'm definitely in the "have so much to do" category but I lack the $$$ and the energy to really do much about it.

Pregnant wise I have burning hot palms and soles, am pretty tired, have an achy back, itchy stretch marks going through some restretching and a thirst and a sweet tooth that can't be quenched. No complaints here :LOL

My goal for this week is to go register and get my MIL to come to a kids cosignment sale on Saturday (maybe she'll bring some $$ to help us out)!

hope everyone has a good week!

[*Amy*]

she had a cigarette in her hand the whole weekend and made snippy comments about people who thought that her smoke was infecting them, and they both tried to talk us into buying a gun to protect ourselves from anti-white thugs, made numerous references to stories they had seen on Fox News, and reminded us that if our Doberman did not take to the baby right away, that he'd have to be destroyed "because it only takes one bite."

Good GAWD, BTE, I would have gone insane. I thought my MIL was bad because she keeps harping on us that gentle discipline = spoiled, unruly child. How annoying!

We had a really nice weekend, doing little projects around the house. And we got the baby's room painted a pale lavender, and I absolutely LOOOOOVE it! Now I'm chomping at the bit to get everything else done, but we're going to wait about one more month to lay out the serious cash for the stuff we still need. We haven't bought diapers yet, and we're trying to decide if we want to get the Amby. I think we are for sure going to get the Humanity Family Bed, so I'm excited about that. A friend loaned us her bassinet yesterday, so that will be a big help since we have upstairs/downstairs, and we'll need a couple of "stations" on both floors.

Interesting that y'all mentioned the Constant Gardener. We were thinking about seeing it yesterday but DH decided he would rather read, which was fine with me. I'm on the 3rd book of the Outlander series now; just started so I am excited for Claire to get back to Jamie ASAP!!!

We leave for my Dad's house in Oregon tomorrow - Yay!! It's going to feel like a real vacation, especially for DH because my dad has all kinds of fun guy stuff planned, like river rafting and fishing. My older brother will also be there, so I think that he and DH are going to go hiking together, since I am totally not up for hiking Table Rock. We are all going to Crater Lake together on Thursday, and then to another lake to spend two nights in a cabin over the weekend. I am SO excited!! The only time DH has been home with me was Christmas of 2003, so we really couldn't do a lot of outdoorsy stuff. I hope he falls in love with it and wants to move back there eventually. It just feels so good to go home.

I've been having trouble sleeping too, especially the past week or so. It's been so hard to get comfortable, and my breasts are back to their first trimester state of constant paint to temporary agony. I can only imagine what it's going to be like when my milk comes in.

Bensmom, I hope you have a great time on your trip!!

[bec]

Originally Posted by *Amy*

Good GAWD, BTE, I would have gone insane. I thought my MIL was bad because she keeps harping on us that gentle discipline = spoiled, unruly child. How annoying!

I always hate comments like this, because they're just not true. I was at a neighbor's birthday party for her son with my two girls. I was chatting with another mother who has two kids as well. One of them (a 2 year old) started crying while the mother was involved with something and couldn't pick him up right away. So, I did. He settled down and I brought him over by his mom, who was able to take him by that point. Anyway, she smiled at me, and said, "So, you're a softy on the crying, huh?" I decided to not get snippy and just smiled, and said, "Yep. I hate seeing them cry without being held." Anyway, she says, "But your kids are so well behaved." Like my holding them when they are upset would cause them to be brats or something.

Anyway, a long story to tell you that GD does work and certainly doesn't mean that you will have spoiled, unruly children.


Bec

[BensMom]

So true, Bec. I really wonder why people persist in thinking that responding to your childrens cries will make them spoiled? It is so frustrating. Now my son is definitely not one of those mythical, well bahaved, polite, kind AP raised children :LOL so I do feel a little more defensive in my parenting. But I can see from my SILs kids that the "threaten to spank for every infraction" method doesnt work either. Those kids are the wost behaved kids I have seen! So to me, the issue is less spanking vs. non-spanking as more of an "overall parenting" kind of thing.

Anyway...on 24, we have been avid 24 watchers since it debuted. Season 1 was awesome! Seasons 2-3 were still good, but IMHO Season 4 was a joke. DH and I kept watching because we were committed, but it was as if the show became a charicature of itself. It was like a drinking game...when Jack or CTU did something completely rediculous...drink!

Today is my day to pack, clean the car, do laundry, get the house ready...ugh. At least I have some nesting energy to help get it done. And then after vacation, we will finally finish the floor in the nursery/play room so I can start moving stuff in there. Which means I can start setting up for baby and clear some things out of DS' room to make it less cluttered for him. I can't wait!

Have a wonderful week everyone!

[Gunter]

Originally Posted by bec

Anyway, she says, "But your kids are so well behaved." Like my holding them when they are upset would cause them to be brats or something.
Anyway, a long story to tell you that GD does work and certainly doesn't mean that you will have spoiled, unruly children.Bec

This reminds me of Merdith Small's book, "Our Babies, Ourselves" which I am reading now. Babes all over the world all held for the majority of the day as a necessity for parents to go about their daily activities. It's not like the Kung people drop the babes off at Kindercare on their drive to work. They sling them in some fashion and get to cooking, visiting, living, etc...

Anybody else read Small?

[*Amy*]

I would really like to read that book; it's on my list, but I haven't gotten down to it yet! I'm still reading the book about children's vaccines.

OK, just had to tell y'all about our major SCORE of the day. I've been going back and forth about what kind of chair to get for the baby's room. I hate gliders (they make me feel kind of sea-sick) and I thought I would just want a regular old wooden rocker, but they are kind of uncomfortable and I don't have a sewing machine to make a cushion. Aaaanyway, last week I went into this furniture store and found a chair like this (except in a netural fabric) but they wanted $600 - $700 for it in the two stores in our area that carry it. So I was pretty bummed because it was like my dream chair (and so comfortable!), and finally DH said that if I really wanted it, we would make it happen. So this past weekend we went to several stores to see if we could find it cheaper than $600, and we found out that Ashley furniture did carry it up until last week, but it wasn't a popular style, so it's been discontinued. Well come to find out, they sent it back to their warehouse to be sold at this furniture clearance center about 5 minutes from our house!! They are only open once a month (and it so happens that DH and I will be out of town for the next sale), but I managed to talk to one of the managers who has agreed to let us buy it today, and pick it up tonight. And best of all, it's only $250!!!!!!! It's even the right color (from what they say; it's supposed to be pale yellow, which will look great with the pale lavender walls in the baby room). So I feel like the Furniture Gods are smiling upon me today. Yay for bargains!!

:

[spughy]

Gunter: Yes, I love that book! I bought it fairly early on in my pregnancy and read it a couple of times. I lent it to my midwives because I thought they should have it in their repetoire of "books to recommend".

BTE: You are so way more patient with people like that than me! I don't think I could have done the "smile and nod" thing if someone was smoking AND making comments like that. Even (maybe especially?) if she was my MIL.

I had a great long weekend. Puttered, mostly. I read a book that was a really great book but totally triggered the crying hormones and I had a good cleansing cry in the bathtub while DH was out Sunday afternoon. It's odd, but that felt like such an indulgence. (BTW the book was "Case Histories" by Kate Atkinson and I highly recommend it.) Then yesterday I went to the museum in the morning to see the new exhibit on Tibet (very interesting, but none of the photos had any children in them which I thought was a bit odd... and the Tibetans "do like their bling" as my friend Cory put it!). In the afternoon DH and I went out fishing with DH's PhD supervisor, Frank, and Frank's son. We spent a delightful 5 hours or so out on Juan de Fuca Strait - it was perfectly calm, clear and warm, and the sea lion colony on Race Rocks was audible for literally miles and miles. Ark ark ark!!! Stirling had a salmon on but it got away just as it neared the boat, but Frank landed one and his son caught a couple of greenling, which are little bottom fish that are tasty when steamed with ginger and green onion. So we are having one of those for dinner tonight, and I am smoking the salmon for Frank and his wife. Frank's wife thought I was insane for wanting to go out fishing when I'm 7 months pregnant, but I am still not sure why. Even if it had been rough out, it's still not exactly strenuous or even really uncomfortable (unless you get seasick, which I don't.) Blobby found it entertaining (I think) and wiggled and squirmed and kicked all afternoon. I thought things like rolling motion and boat motors were supposed to lull babies to sleep!

Hope everyone's week goes well!

[Awaken]

Gosh, so much to say already!

*Amy*- me too, on the outlander book! I am 3/4 of the way through that one You are going to surpass me soon!

Gunter- Yes, the Small book is one of my favorites- I recommend it to all pregnant women/new parents/anyone who keeps yapping about sleep training and complaining about not wanting to hold thier babies too much of they'll be spoiled. And let us know how the mother's blessing goes- sounds nice

Also on books- just finally finished Ina May's Guide to Childbirth- truly THE BEST pregnancy/birth book out there. I am equally inspired, empowered, educated, and ENRAGED at the same time! Definitely a must read if any of you haven't yet. I'm now sending it on to my sis who is pg with her first.

BTE- OMG about your IL's!! Isn't it funny how people like that can spout off about anything they want, and you're expected to keep quiet and smile, but if you said anything about what YOU believe, you'd be seen as rude and pushy and wacko!! That always gets to me.

RainCoastMama- ugh, so sorry Totally BTDT, and it totally sucks.

Flapjack- WOO HOO about your weekend! Sounds incredible! I still would've liked to have read your soliloquoy!

to all of us feeling heavy/sick/hot/exhausted/sick of work- I'm right there with you!

Yay to all who did some good home organizing and fixing up of the baby's room!

As for us: Didn't do much for Labor Day. Ds is getting molars, and he usually gets an icky snotty cold and doesn't sleep, so we were all totally off schedule and tired. HOWEVER, inexplicably, he has behaved better the past few days than he has in weeks! He is usually totally anti-social and has a million tantrums anywhere we go, but he has been GREAT lately! We went out to eat and got a babysitter and he was totally fine, then he went to his new Sunday School class and they said he was wonderfully behaved, we went to a friend's bbq and he played nicely with the other kids and had his first popcicle (loved it!), and today I stayed home from work w/ him and we have been doing errands and he has been so good, such a nice little companion I am so proud

[bec]

Originally Posted by BensMom

Now my son is definitely not one of those mythical, well bahaved, polite, kind AP raised children :LOL so I do feel a little more defensive in my parenting.

Oh, my girls are certainly far from perfect, but they have obviously thrived in an AP environment (particularly my more challenging toddler. ). I think people equate being sensitive to a child's cry and not yelling/screaming/spanking, to not setting limits and not having discipline. I honestly think that people don't realize there are other methods of discipline out there.

An example. At this same party, Emily (the toddler) got rough with a little boy around her age. She was shoving him so he wouldn't come into the bouncy thing they had set up. Rather than spank her, yell at her or whatever, we removed her from the toy. We told her we don't hit, use gentle touches, etc. She (on her own) said she was sorry to the boy, and that was that. This is how most conflicts are handled with us. Sometimes we have more tantrums and struggle a bit more than others. But I'm coming from the place that I truly believe my kids are good people. I don't think a lot of people do that.


Bec