My dad has lost his voice

[LoveBeads]

I don't feel worthy of being in this forum. My father has ALS and has gone through so many stages. He is not able to move anything anymore except his right hand for a few hours in the early morning, then he can't do it anymore. I called him this morning and he wasn't able to speak, he gasped out the words "I can't" and then the nurse took the phone away. I am so sad but I read the other posts in this forum and I see women who have lost their husbands and their children, I don't feel like my loss can possibly compare.

Sorry, I'm rambling. I think I can handle the death of my father, I just can't handle the suffering that he is enduring.

[Breathless Wonder]

I'm sorry LoveBeads.

[Cajunmomma]

This is just my opinion, okay? I think that your loss, though different perhaps than what the forum was originally intended to focus on, is as great as that of any other on the board.

I lost my father years ago, six months after I got married. Right before my wedding, my father, to whom I had been close than almost anyone else in family, told me that he was sure that I was a nice girl, but since we were not related, he couldn't pay for my wedding. He had (probably medication induced) dementia. It got worse and worse until he died.

After he died, I missed his physical presence. But I had missed him for a couple of years before that. In a way, I had pretty much finished my grieving before he was gone.

I think your grief belongs here. And I also think that your grief is entirely reasonable.

[mamadawg]

I lost my father almost 9 years ago and watching him deteriorate (from diabetes, nothing like ALS) was harder than him dying.

Your loss is very real now. Let yourself grieve.

I'm so sorry. ALS is a terrible disease.

[Mylittlevowels]

It's really hard watching a parent deteriorate. My father has Parkinson's disease. He has slowed down so much it's scary. In a way it might be easier if he went quickly - he most likely has many years ahead (he's 60) and he'll only get worse

[rachelle-a-tron]

((((LoveBeads))))

[LoveBeads]

Thanks for all of your kind words.

[kama'aina mama]

I'm so sorry about your dad... and for you and your family. It's hard to see someone you love suffering.

[BumbleBena]

LoveBeads, you and your dad are in my thoughts.

[bobica]

Oh lovebeads, that is so hard! ALS is such a devastating disease. Losing speech/voice abilities must make him feel powerless. Does he have any augmentative communication systems in place? please pm me if you want/need to ask any questions (i'm a speech & language path & specialize in alternative forms of communication).

to you!!!

[Jane]

I lost my father to Altzheimers disease in '99. Although I grieved during the whole time he was ill and after his death, it was a year later that I truly missed the real him. It had been about 4 years since I "knew" him and it all hit one day.
This dying thing comes in too many nasty awful forms - how can leaving this place twist the knife is so many ways?

[Ahappymel]

Allow yourself your grief.
I watched my mother dying piece by piece for years from diabetes...heart disease, renal failure/dialysis, blindness and then amputations. It is a loss every step of the way and the grief is real.

Love to you.