Worried about sibling age...reassurance?

[lunamay]

I was excited to get pregnant (I am only 5 weeks) but I am worried/anxious about my dd not getting enough of me after the baby is born and not being able to understand enough. She will be 2 yrs. 2 months in May, she is 18 mo. now. Anyone else have this age gap? I just love her so much and do not want this to be overly hard for her. Also worried about nursing...I planned on child-led weaning and plan on tandem nursing just worried how it will all go...

Any thoughts?

[Naughty Dingo]

That is our gap. There is 23 months between DD1 and DD2 and there will be 25 months between DD2 and this babe. I really like this gap, Though the extra month you are getting might even get you further in the going on the potty department. Anyway, I think it really depends on the kids' temperments but in my family's experience, 2 years apart is very nice.

[gabry]

My ds will be 32 months in May, but his beloved sitter had a baby when he was 22 months, and I think he is handling it beautifully. Not the same thing, of course, but it gave me a glimpse of what we might be looking forward to, and gave me courage for that phase in our family's life

[Rmeg]

........

[ksmommy]

That is the same age gap between my oldest two. I LOVE IT!!! Actually, we tried to get pregnant earlier, but nursing kept me infertile until 18 months. I am not gonna lie to you it was hard for the least 8 months, but once my dd turned one, it's been a lot easier.

[susannella]

I have some concerns, as my daughter will be just 20 mos. We do want close spacing for afew reasons, but it's really important to me that we maintain our nursing relationship. I feel like I've got to drink in the next 8 months alone with Ella...it's been really special this past year.

Tell me if I'm crazy, but I'm thinking that the first few months might not be so tough- I'm imagining a peaceful infant in a sling...Crazy, right?

[lunamay]

thanks everyone!

This is already making me feel better. Just wanted to hear that it wasn't totally crazy, that it could work out great! It does make sense that it could be easier on her emotionally being younger, before she can think too much about it. Yeah!

I have the same fantasy about the baby in the sling in the early months being not so bad...

I am also cherishing the next 8 months with just my daughter, but I remind myself that I can still cherish her afterwards and still have a close relationship and she will still know I love her.

[dharmama]

My DD is almost 15 mos. so our spacing will be about 22 1/2 mos. (My sister and I are 22 mos and my mom always raves about how great it was to have us this age apart. )

My biggest concern now is our nursing relationship. I am SO not ready for her to wean and I feel she is SO not ready to wean so I am just hoping that I will be able to continue nursing and hopefully....if DD wants to....to tandem nurse.

I'm expecting some major challenges as we transition from a family of three to a family of four....but I am SOOO excited too! DD loves other children and I think about how great it will be for DC#2 to have her big sister to play with!!

I remember my friend (whose kiddos are exactly 2 years apart) talking about how neat it was to watch the babies comminicate with each other. Her DD would sit and talk to the baby and the baby would babble back at her. She said it melted her heart!!

Tell me if I'm crazy, but I'm thinking that the first few months might not be so tough- I'm imagining a peaceful infant in a sling...Crazy, right?

I've kind of been thinking the same thing. But I do wonder about myself physically. I sat on the couch and nursed DD ALL DAY in the beginning. I won't be able to do that this time around.

But, then again. my friends with multiple children AMAZE me. It seems like they generate more energy with each child. We'll all me fine....and can support each other!!

~Erin

[Naughty Dingo]

Susanne and Erin, for me it was the scenario that Susanne described. My first was a colicky crazy baby, my second much more peaceful and happy to chill in the sling. I was kind of tied to nursing every two hours, but nursing the second one is so much easier. You don't have that learning curve to go through again. I actually think my second was so easy it was to her detriment. I just slung her wherever we went and she slept here and there, I think in the end not having a more defined routine kind of made her exhausted and have some sleep issues.

I was so happy to not have another screamer. But, she made up for it at about 6 months but we were fine

[Sydnee]

Rachel was 2 years and 2 months when Emma was born, and it really was pretty easy. Rachel was soooo independent, and potty trained 2 months after Emma was born. Now, if Emma had been my first one, I don't think it would have been so easy! :LOL Rachel is SUPER independent, and Emma is SUPER needy!! :LOL You will do just fine! And I remember having all those feelings too, but it all works out!!!

[Mamabeakley]

Lunamay - my DS is exactly the same age as your DD - the age difference for us will be the same. I am only 17 mos older than my brother - I felt that was great for him and me as kids, but hard on my mom. I am so glad to hear folks saying 26 months is a great gap! My mom was kinda hinting we should wait longer - but actually, I figure the BEST sign of the fact that DS is ready for a sibling is that we have ecologically nursed and my fertility returned at 15 mos.

Anyway, the only things I am REALLY worried about are:

a) getting through the next 8 weeks till I feel better without becoming a screaming mommy maniac

and

b) getting DS to sleep most of the night w/out nursing so that I'm not nursing an infant AND a toddler ALL night. I WANT DS to keep nursing, and I definitely can see nursing him to sleep and when he wakes up with a new one, but I CAN'T see how it's going to work to nurse him the 3 - 4 times (or more, if he's unhappy with teeth or something) a night along with a newborn.

I figure he's going to change a LOT in the next 8 months, though, so I probably shouldn't worry about it till about 7 months. If he hasn't "night-weaned" himself by then maybe we'll do something about it.

[tiffanyrk1786]

My son turned 2, 2 weeks before my dd was born and he loooves her most of the time. He is very sweet with her when he even notices shes there. The majority of the time, he could care less. At this age they are learning idependence and want to kind of test their waters to see how comfortable they are so they arent attached at the hip aalll of the time, although some are. Anyways im rambling

[ChattyCat]

My ds will be 19 months next week. If this babe comes on time (not early), they will be 2 years 3 months apart. Of course ds was 3 weeks early, so who knows? I think it will be a really good spacing. Old enough to be friends, but ds is already so independent, and I'm sure he'll be even more so by then.