I guess I just need "listening eyes" from understanding friends right now. In a world so full of hate and greed, I'm feeling so disillusioned for my kids right now. My 5 yr old started Kinder this year. It's really, really bad for him. He is basically being persecuted for being "different". ALL of the boys in his class pick on him. Even some of the girls are calling him names now. It's so hard for him (and me) to understand. He is a cute boy - always clean and well dressed, so it's definately not a hygeine issue or anything like that. It seems to merely be the fact that he doesn't enjoy violent play or speech. Even our neighbor boy that rides to school with us and plays with Jonah on the weekends has been bullying him around the other boys. He says he has NO friends at school. The boys take every opportunity to do things like choke him when he's getting a drink from the fountain, punch him in the bathroom, at recess and at lunch and verbally abuse him. One day he looked under the table and a boy at his table kicked him in the face. He came home with a swollen SHOE PRINT by his eye.
I have had a couple of conversations with his teacher and she is trying to help. I've spoken with him several times and instructed him to never hit back, but to make eye contact with the child(ren) and firmly say "DO NOT HIT ME", then to tell an adult. He has done that and they just laugh. He is a pretty mild kid, so I imagine that he doesn't say it very loudly or firmly. Knowing he feels bullied is just feeding the meanness of the other boys.
Jonah is the type of kid that has never owned a toy gun, never (with my permission) watched violent television (or hardly ANY TV at all for that matter). He likes puzzles, dinosaurs and art. They like Power Rangers, Sponge Bob and hitting. Today, the neighbor kid came over to play for a bit. When he walked in the door, he grabbed one of Jonah's toys and said to Jonah that he was going in the back yard to play by himself. I told him no, that it had been raining all day and the mosquitos were bad. He looked at Jonah, raised his voice and said "Well, I wanted to play with this BY MYSELF not with YOU!" (nasty, disdainful inflection on the "you"). I told him to go home if wanted to play alone. Later, they were having a snack and Jonah told the other child that his favorite cartoon character is "Bob the Builder". Th other kid literally sneered at him and said "I don't watch that ". I like Sponge Bob. Jonah said "Sponge Bob has bad manners.". Part of wanted to laugh because it was cute, but part of me knows that these are the things that are encouraging my son the be victimized.
Have I failed my son by making him tender? Oh, this is the hardest parenting thing I think I've dealt with. He's had chronic diarrhea since day 2 of school (4 weeks ago!) and his belly hurts every morning. He says he wants to homeschool. I kind of feel like, although I would love to swoop down and rip my baby out of the lion's den, I would be making things worse. If I remove him now, won't that have a negative effect on how he learns to deal with adversity?
If you've gotten this far, thank you.
I have had a couple of conversations with his teacher and she is trying to help. I've spoken with him several times and instructed him to never hit back, but to make eye contact with the child(ren) and firmly say "DO NOT HIT ME", then to tell an adult. He has done that and they just laugh. He is a pretty mild kid, so I imagine that he doesn't say it very loudly or firmly. Knowing he feels bullied is just feeding the meanness of the other boys.
Jonah is the type of kid that has never owned a toy gun, never (with my permission) watched violent television (or hardly ANY TV at all for that matter). He likes puzzles, dinosaurs and art. They like Power Rangers, Sponge Bob and hitting. Today, the neighbor kid came over to play for a bit. When he walked in the door, he grabbed one of Jonah's toys and said to Jonah that he was going in the back yard to play by himself. I told him no, that it had been raining all day and the mosquitos were bad. He looked at Jonah, raised his voice and said "Well, I wanted to play with this BY MYSELF not with YOU!" (nasty, disdainful inflection on the "you"). I told him to go home if wanted to play alone. Later, they were having a snack and Jonah told the other child that his favorite cartoon character is "Bob the Builder". Th other kid literally sneered at him and said "I don't watch that ". I like Sponge Bob. Jonah said "Sponge Bob has bad manners.". Part of wanted to laugh because it was cute, but part of me knows that these are the things that are encouraging my son the be victimized.
Have I failed my son by making him tender? Oh, this is the hardest parenting thing I think I've dealt with. He's had chronic diarrhea since day 2 of school (4 weeks ago!) and his belly hurts every morning. He says he wants to homeschool. I kind of feel like, although I would love to swoop down and rip my baby out of the lion's den, I would be making things worse. If I remove him now, won't that have a negative effect on how he learns to deal with adversity?
If you've gotten this far, thank you.
I am so so sorry your son (and your family) are going through this. It stuns me to read it, even though I'm aware of just how sadly common this is.
: All of that up there! I can't add anything that hasn't already been said! Hugs to you and your great little guy! 
Don't let the behavior of others' kids make you doubt yourself for a second!
