Thank you for not sending nuts to school

[Sneezykids]

I understand peanut butter will never be banned in the U.S. But I just wanted to write a genuine thank you to the moms who comply w/ the no nuts in the classroom policy. I was reading the 'snack' threads and saw alot of the moms mentioning the peanut/nut allergy.
Both my kids have peanut allergies. Dd is old enough for me to take a bit of a breather about it but I remember having to rush to her Montessori preschool at age 4 because the little girl next to her shared her sandwich and one bite put my dd in the hospital.
I think unless you live with life threatening allergies it can be hard to really grasp how serious and dangerous it is. Thankfully, my ds's preschool class is nut free, which gives me some peace of mind. Please know how much me and other parents of nut allergic kids appreciate your understanding!! I can't say it enough. Thank you!

[LiamnEmma]

I'm often shocked by people who are so insensitive to nut allergies--saying the parents should "educate" their children so that they can continue to send nuts to school (just in case this has come up recently, I have not seen it anywhere, I'm referring to things I've heard IRL over the years). We use sunflower seed butter instead of peanutbutter at school and I try really hard to avoid nuts at school. My ds is in first grade, and there are so many allergic kids that there is a designated class for them each year. Scary. And sad for them. But I'm really glad his school is so on top of it.

[kewb]

It always baffles me when paents get angry that a school adopts a no nut policy. I know of one woman who started a petition to get the child with the nut allergy banned from the pre-school so she could continue to send her child with peanut butter.

Right now my ds school does not ban nut products. I do send ds to school with peanut butter & jelly fo lunch. But in my odd little world-I always make sure the birthday cupcakes are nut free in case anyone in his class has the allergy. I once sent cupcakes to his pre-school with M & M's on it. I did not realize they had an allergy warning on them. I felt so bad because one little boy had to be removed from the room when they served them.

Where do you get sunflower seed butter? That sounds like a great alternative for my kids to try.

[UlrikeDG]

Try Sunbutter.com. It does NOT taste like peanut butter, and if you taste it expecting it to, it won't taste right. However, if you're expecting SUNbutter, it tastes ok. Gives me horrid gas.

My local grocery store actually carries it, which shocked me. They don't even carry whole wheat pretzles! LOL

[Sneezykids]

<I'm often shocked by people who are so insensitive to nut allergies--saying the parents should "educate" their children so that they can continue to send nuts to school >

Of course parents of food allergic kids educate their kids/warn them. My ds will not eat food unless he asks us, he will even ask 'does this have milk in it?' Once I was scanning a shampoo bottle for nut oils and it was okay, but ever since he saw me do that and I went to use that shampoo he would ask 'does it have peanuts in it?'

I do feel like some moms are very upset by a nut banning, but thankfully, kids with severe food allergies are protected under the disability amendment 504, which states public schools must do whatever it takes to protect food allergic children.

[CarrieMF]

When my oldest was in playschool it was a nut free school whether there were any kids with allergies currently in the school or not. ALL of the playschools were nut free. When she went into kindergarten I was surprised that the school was not nut free. She's in Grade 2 now and this year they have gone to nut free because there is at least 1 child in Kindergarten who has a peanut allergy. When the K kids go for a 1/2 day of class in May my friend whose dd is in K said the teachers went through all of the snack bags to make sure there were no nut products. In the newsletter they said there are a few kids with the allergies.

What strikes me odd is that the playschool my dd went to closed down and the teacher opened her own last fall. My younger girls go there now and the school is not nut free. The reason I find this so odd is that the teachers 2 boys were in the playschool last year and both have peanut allergies. 1 is bad enough to need the epi pen. Since it is her own school I had presumed it would have been a nut free school. The classes with kids with nut allergies are not allowed to bring nut products, but her kids were in the afternoon class and I know the toys, etc would not be scrubbed down between the morning and afternoon classes. The tables & dishes would be washed, but it doesn't take much for a kid to transfer peanut oil.

My kids don't have peanut allergies, but we do not send anything with nuts and when my dd who was in playschool went to school last year she wasn't allowed to eat pb for bkfast either.

What really gets me is some of the anti-nut free school parents reasoning for why they should not be put out.

1. My kid won't eat anything but pb. I know there's picky kids but come on now. I really doubt there is a single child out there who will only eat pb and nothing else.

2. The parents should homeschool then. Well not all parents can homeschool because they need to work. Homeschooling isn't the best fit for all kids either.

3. Why should I have to change what I send my kids because of 1 child. Stop being selfish and grow up.

4. The children should be taught to know to not eat those foods. Not all foods have clear peanut labels or have obvious signs that they have peanuts in them. Not all kids can read or know which foods they are supposed to avoid. Not all kids understand that they not supposed to have or it really understand the consequences. Food transfers or even those who react from a person breathing on them can't avoid those situations.

5. this one really gets me, do you take your kid out in public because they could come into contact with anything there too so why should the schools have this policy. Uh, the school is a controlled environment that the parents and teachers can control whether a child is exposed to the allergen or not.

It really blows my mind that there are so many people out there who really have no idea how serious allergies are to people, what little it can take for them to react; especially with peanut allergies.

[LiamnEmma]

Of course parents of food allergic kids educate their kids/warn them

Well of course you do, I thought it was apparent that I was agreeing with your first post, but maybe not.

Kewb, I get my sunflower butter at Trader Joes. And no, it doesn't taste like peanut butter, it tastes like sunflower butter (and it has sugar in it too, which is something I don't necessarily like but feel the pros outweigh the cons). I love sunflower seeds, so the taste is great to me.


eta;

My kid won't eat anything but pb.

Yeah, that one gets me too. Last year at back to school night I mentioned the sunflower butter when the allergies topic came up and a mother said that in response. pul-leaze. I've seen her kid. She eats more than that. I'll always secretly hold that against that mom. blech

[kewb]

Thanks, LiamnEmma. My dd dislikes peanut butter so sunflower seed butter sounds like something to try for a quick lunch.

It drives me batty when parents say pb is the only thing their child will eat. I find it hard to believe they feed their kid pb & j for every meal. A few parents I know complain about no nuts becasue pb is an inexpensive meal that their child will eat. There are plenty of other inexpensive meals.

[mumto2]

I have a child with a nut allergy, although not life threatening. At her last appointment, the speciallist warned me about being relaxed in "nut free" environments. Many foods which do not contain nuts themselves are processed on plant equipment which also processes nut containing products. She can have a reaction to these food products aswell.

It's a bit more difficult for me to explain that "nut free" provides no guarantee of no nuts at all. She is 4 and will only eat food from her own lunchbox.

[Sneezykids]

<<Well of course you do, I thought it was apparent that I was agreeing with your first post, but maybe not.>>>

Sorry, the pitfalls of communication in cyberspace...I meant 'of course' as just concurring w/ YOU too w/ concurring w/ ME (did that make sense?) :LOL
I wasn't being defensive at all, I meant it like oh, absolutely....sorry about that!
This is a good discussion.

I've tried the sunflower butters, they are okay. I think some of them may be peanunt contaminated though. ??
(for ds I mean to eat them)

Did I mention my dd can have tree nuts but not peanuts? But, it's dicey for her to eat them too because of the peanut contamination risk. And, obviously, since we don't eat nuts in our house.

We use Soynut butter. It has the consistency and look of regular PB and my kids eat it pretty well.

I also have heard the "my kid won't eat anything else" excuse :

[CarrieMF]

Did I mention my dd can have tree nuts but not peanuts?

Alot of people allergic to peanuts can have tree nuts because a peanut is not a nut, it's a legume.

There was an article in our paper about the province of Ontario passing an education bill making all public schools educated in severe alleriges and teaching the students & staff what that really means. It is going into effect in Jan 06. They are treating severe allergies the same as fire drills, you may never need to know what to do but JIC we're going to teach you what to do. The law is to safeguard children with life-threatening allergies. The law has been dubbed Sabrina's Law. 2 years ago a 13yo girl named Sabrina ate french fries in the cafeteria. She started to wheeze after lunch but thought it was her asthma so she was told to go to the office. Her EpiPen was in her unlocked locker but because she thought it was asthma she never got the epipen and used it. There was no EpiPen in the office. She collapsed when she got to the office, the article does not say if she died then or later. She had checked prior to having the fries to see if they were cooked in peanut oil and they weren't. She was also anaphylactic to milk products, they figure the tongs used to take the fries out had been cross-contaminated with tongs used for poutine which has cheese in it.

Sabrina's Law

[Ruthla]

My son's preschool has a "no peanut butter" policy but they do allow tree nuts. They suggested almond butter as an alternative My Mom offered to pay for hot lunch in school so I don't need to worry about it at all.

My daughter's school has no such policy, but they're a brand new school (they just opened up this past Thursday) and I don't know if there are any allergic kids currently in the school.

[TeaBag]

Another mother of a severely allergic child, jumping in to say "thanks" as well. And you know what just made my heart swell?

The other day, one of the mom's of my ds' classmate approached me. She asked if my ds has a nut allergy and I said he did. She said that she was asking her dd that morning if she wanted peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and honey for her lunch today and her dd, in this horrified voice "No, Mom, I can't take any peanut butter. ______(my ds) could DIE if I do, I don't want him to die, can you find me something else to eat?" I almost cried. The *kids* get it, and yet last year, he was in K, and there was this lady who brought cookies to the classroom and go so angry because I wouldn't let my ds have any. "But I made them from scratch!!" She was so offended. Okay, but do you have peanut/nut products in the house. Are you absolutely certain that there was no residual oils on the counter, cookie pan, spoon, bowl, hands, etc? No? Well, then he can't have it. And she just wanted to be offended....but the children, the ones who've been modeled compassion and concern for others, *they* get it......

So thanks to all of you who do honor it, even if the school doesn't have a no nuts policy. It makes me breathe somewhat easier when I take him to school.

[BelovedBird]

Originally Posted by APMom98

Another mother of a severely allergic child, jumping in to say "thanks" as well. And you know what just made my heart swell?

The other day, one of the mom's of my ds' classmate approached me. She asked if my ds has a nut allergy and I said he did. She said that she was asking her dd that morning if she wanted peanut butter and jelly or peanut butter and honey for her lunch today and her dd, in this horrified voice "No, Mom, I can't take any peanut butter. ______(my ds) could DIE if I do, I don't want him to die, can you find me something else to eat?" I almost cried. The *kids* get it, and yet last year, he was in K, and there was this lady who brought cookies to the classroom and go so angry because I wouldn't let my ds have any. "But I made them from scratch!!" She was so offended. Okay, but do you have peanut/nut products in the house. Are you absolutely certain that there was no residual oils on the counter, cookie pan, spoon, bowl, hands, etc? No? Well, then he can't have it. And she just wanted to be offended....but the children, the ones who've been modeled compassion and concern for others, *they* get it......

So thanks to all of you who do honor it, even if the school doesn't have a no nuts policy. It makes me breathe somewhat easier when I take him to school.

Your post made me tear up.
Kids can be so sweet and caring.

[PikkuMyy]

APMOM98 - I was one of those allergic children (and still am as an adult) - I cannot believe that she was offended?!?!?! Do you think she was just sad because she made them from scratch supposing he could have them? Or was she acting like you were crazy about it? It's just so un-adult-like! Whew!

i've heard all the excuses, too - but my biggest problem with thinking that it will be OK if the child in question is educated - I was plenty educated about my allergies - it was the adults and children I dealt with regarding food who weren't. And as a child, I didn't know how to interrogate someone as I can as an adult. I had anaphylaxis from sharing a pizza at camp with a friend who had made it at home and no, it didn't have any parmesan on it. But she didn't know that her mom had added some when she was done putting the cheese on it. Even now, as an adult, if I can't read the ingredients, I don't eat it. And I don't trust anyone to read them and tell me - I have to read them myself.

[wildmonkeys]

My older ds has no allergies and I never send peanut better so your welcome

I do have to say though that I might end up sending pb&j with ds2.... He has a life threatening allergy to dairy & eggs and has serious reactions to all the nightshade veggies. I am already not sure what else I will be able to send with him, ykwim? Anyway, I guess I will have to cross that bridge later since schools can & do ban nuts, but actually hand out milk & eggs as part of their school lunch program. The good news is that ds would never share his food :LOL :LOL :LOL No seriously, since almost everything has milk & eggs in it he is already pretty clear on the no food sharing thing.

Good luck managing the allergies - it is very difficult and scary isn't it? I once had to use the epi-pen on ds2 because somebody gave him one of those stupid goldfish crackers IN THE SLIDE at the park...

BJ
Barney & Ben

[Sneezykids]

Yep, I know peanuts are a legume. Ds was mildly allergic to soy as well but seems to tolerate it okay, but we don't push it, he just eats it on his cereal. He's allergic to rice too so no rice milk for him. Otherwise, we just stay away from all legumes as well.

I doubt he will ever be able to eat the school lunch for the same reasons, spatula contamination.

ITA, most kids are very compassionate about it. Perhaps the one mom who baked the from scratch cookies wasn't so much offended but just thought you were being overprotective...in that case, you are the mom and it's YOUR call, not hers.

Even now, after 8 years of dealing w/ food allergies, I still have to be a Food Cop around my extended family. Like the other week, MIL was making toast and even though she used ds's 'butter' she was about to cut his toast w/ the knife that was used in the real butter...I said Whhhooa... so even though she was being careful, unless it's your kid and living it, most people wouldn't think to switch utinsils, etc and watch all of that cutting board, cheese on hands stuff (and not washing them then touching his food) egh...gee I hope he outgrows it some before starting 'real' school.

[LiamnEmma]

Sorry, the pitfalls of communication in cyberspace...

I hear you! Last night after I posted I suddenly thought, "Man, now I sound pissy!" Sorry 'bout that.

[Sneezykids]

<Man, now I sound pissy!" Sorry 'bout that. > :LOL :LOL now here we are both laughing...I thought the same thing about mine, wondering how it sounded..LOL..

[TeaBag]

Originally Posted by PikkuMyy

APMOM98 - I Do you think she was just sad because she made them from scratch supposing he could have them? Or was she acting like you were crazy about it? It's just so un-adult-like! Whew!

I am pretty certain that she made them specifically because her child said my ds couldn't have peanuts and was upset because she felt like she went to extra trouble to include him and then I still wouldn't let him have any. I told her that I could understand her frustration and hurt feelings, but that I just couldn't let my guard down on this issue. Then there was the other mom who made some chocolate chip cookies with nuts (walnuts, which he's allergic to as well) and some without......and then put them all in the same tupperware container.

I try to be gentle about educating other parents (and in our case, the school when he first started going there), but sometimes I just get frustrated. I bring treats for him to keep in the classroom for just the instance that there's a party or someone's parent brings treats or whatever, and those are what he's to get. The teacher knows this, and for the most part, understands it. I did get the occasional phone call "So-n-so's mom made these treats and they look really, really cool, do you think he could have one?" Ummmm, no. But it's the other parents that I struggle with most of all. They think I'm overreacting or I get the "My kids will only eat PB&J, what am I supposed to feed them?" Let's see, you kid goes 7 hours without eating PB & J, or my kid dies....yeah, right, I'm overreacting. Ds knows he can't eat anything that hasn't been approved by myself or dh. My biggest fear is that kid who ate PB&J for lunch and then goes out on the playground without washing his hands. He touches my ds and the playground attendant, who has an Epi-Pen, doesn't recognize the reaction..........well, you get the idea. My imagination then just goes insane.............

Another reason, I wish, wish, wish, with all my heart that I could convince dh to let me homeschool. At least when he's older, he'll be able to carry his epi-pen himself, you know?