How can I help ds?

[seren]

Dh started a second job in the evenings. Ds is a very big daddy's boy. He's ok until bedtime. Dh used to do the bedtime routine. Ds now cries and cries. It doesn't matter what I do, he is still upset. Dh calls to say good night and by this time ds is already crying. We thought him calling would help, but it doesn't. What can I do to help him adjust? All I've been doing so far is holding while he cries himself to sleep.

[niblet]

That's tough on everyone

Can DH leave a note under DS's pillow?

What about taping DH reading DS's favorite bedtime story?

Can he leave a series of notes and/or clues about something fun the two of them can do together on a DH's day off? (Similar to Blue's Clues?)

Could you drive him to DH's work, all pajama-ed and bathed as a once in a while treat? Just for a kiss and a hug?

What *new* ritual could the 2 of you develop? My dad used to put me to bed. I hated it when mom tried to do the exact things dad did. What bedtime rituals could you create just for the two of you?

[2much2luv]

Could you blow up and frame a picture of daddy for him to sleep with?

Poor little guy. That's tough, but it'll pass and he'll get used to the new routine you establish soon.

[InfoisPower]

Hey, instead of a photo, why not make a daddy doll.
If you're talented you could make a cloth doll and either embroider or paint your husband's face on it.

[Zaxmama]

what about a teddybear or something with one of daddy's shirts or a spritz of daddy's cologne on it....poor lil guy...I know if I can't be home for DS to go to bed I always give him my nightshirt to snuggle....good luck..

[ebethmom]

I like the idea of a taped story. There are fancy books that have the recording chips in them, but I think a plain old tape of something familiar would be better.

My kids have a hard time when I'm away at bedtime. My symphony rehearsals are far away and late at night, so I'm away 5 - 9 nights a month. Once ds got older (maybe 2 1/2), we figured out a good-bye routine where we talked about bedtime. He would tell me his "plan" - first I'll take a bath, then I'll read a book with Daddy, then we'll go to sleep in the Mommydaddy bed. Then ds would say "I'll see you when we snuggle." I started off saying "I'll see you in the morning" but of course we never made it that long. Ds would come in for a snuggle in the night.

I know your ds misses his daddy! It takes a while to break in a new routine. Can he pick something special for you two to do at bedtime? I know that for my ds, we would need to plan something like that *way* before the meltdown time. Then we would need to start the new routine *before* his usual bedtime. And then he would still have a meltdown for the first few nights!

[seren]

Oh you ladies are wonderful! I had better get cracking (or I suppose get dh cracking) on the tape.

I'm kinda crafty, but not enough to paint dh's face. But I think I can come up with something.

And I think I might let him sleep in one of dh's shirts with some cologne on it. Sounds good to me.

[ashleyhaugh]

well, instead of painting, maybe try using an iron on transfer if you like the doll idea. get that iron on paper for the printer, and print a pic of daddys face to iron on to a doll

[mama23k]

's, girl. That's really tough. I had the same problem with Ally when Tommy started back on nights. I agree with letting him sleep in one of daddy's shirts with some cologne spritzed on it. I had to start a different bedtime ritual that was JUST for her. I asked what she wanted to do to help me before bed "because mommy's can't do it all by themselves 'cuz it's such a big job", and then what did SHE want done for her that was special. Believe it or not, she wanted to help me wash dishes before bed (I can't get lucky enough for THAT one to last--she's only 3! :LOL ) and then take a bath in the sink like when she was a baby(with clean water of course!) If I let her help every night (and gush about what a big help she was to mommy) and then take a "baby bath", we wouldn't have a meltdown. I had to be careful that both her brothers didn't see though--ever tried lifting a 7 year old into the sink? :LOL :LOL :LOL

Good Luck!

Laura

[seren]

Laura, I can just see you having to bath all four of them in the sink. Well, maybe Lena wouldn' t insist since she's so little. Dh got the tape recorder and will be making a tape before tomorrow night. I'm hoping things go more smoothly, but probably won't since daddy's been home for two nights.