Working Mothers - Page 4

[indiegirl]

Originally posted by teachma
I'm glad for the 2 week vacation I started at 12: 25 today! I hope others of you employed mamas wil have lots of time off to rest, too!

Here here! Mine started at 2: 15 today. All day I could feel a psychic stir among fellow school teachers-- it was like I could hear the collective yelps of joy all afternoon!

[somemama]

I'm also a teacher and SOOOOO glad for the break! It will go too fast, though! (And hopefully I'll actually manage to grade those essays I brought home with me!)

[attagirl]

i have a prolem maybe someone has experience with. My ds i s a little shy of four months old and has been staying with his grandmother or my soon to be ex-husband since i went back to work (for about two months now). Both my husband and my mother think that ap does not work with secondary caregivers, as my ds gets really upset when i am away and is easily consoled when i return. they think that cue-feeding and a lack of concrete schedule has led to a disorganized, spoiled baby (i know this is not true) who only wants his mommy, but they have both agreed to ap, for the most part ( although neither one will read any info on ap). my question is, how can i make it easier for both my baby and his caregivers? Should i try an imposed scdeule, or could it be that my baby is just very, very mommy-oriented. i dont really agree with strict scheduling but, i also dont want my little munchkin to scream for 6-8 hours while im away. any ideas?

[teachma]

IRT the concerns about her childcare voiced by attagirl, here's my experience with my now almost 2 1/2 year old. As I mentioned above, he's been in a home daycare since age 5 months. I practice AP and my care providers, because of the number of kids they care for, are not able to do so very easily. My child rather quickly (within 3 or 4 months) learned how to totally adapt to a feeding and napping schedule- at his care provider's home. Of course, he's still not on such a schedule with me, but he's been very adaptable for the 4 days a week at child care. And, there's been no negative impact from what I can see. He's an absolutely wonderful kid- exactly what I wouldv'e wished for, if not better. Many of these little ones are surprisingly flexible.

[comet]

Woohoo!!!! 3 weeks of vacation!

[Quirky]

So there are some teachers on this thread who are psyched about the vacation schedule, and some lawyers on this thread who (like me) don't think that the law is a family-friendly profession....

What does everyone do, and do you like it? Is it a family-friendly career choice? If you had to do it over, what would you do differently career-wise?

I'll start: I'm an attorney at an environmental non-profit called The Ocean Conservancy I switched out of litigation a couple of years ago to get away from the overwhelming workload and travel. I love love love my job - the subject matter, the people I work with, etc. - but a) it's not a real family-friendly organization (we have a policy against telecommuting, for example) and b) it's not really work that's conducive to part-time, because when an issue is hot it's hot and can't be put down and picked up again later. My boss just approved my request to go to a 4 day a week schedule on a trial basis of four months, for when I go back to work on 12/30.

I love my job, and for a lawyer I think I have a great working environment and the work is really interesting (although the pay SUCKS). In hindsight, though, from a parenting perspective I'm wondering whether I should have chosen a different career or a different area within the law that would be more amenable to a flexible schedule, working half time, etc. I don't really know what that would be, I'm just really second-guessing my choices now that I have a baby whom I don't want to leave.

[asherah]

I am a journalist.. and while my company is reasonably family friendly.. the profession certainly is not.

If there's a breaking story, I end up working all kinds of awful hours.
I'm in a job now where I don't get called in the middle of the night and put on a plane.. that used to happen.. and that means I am kind of mommy-tracked, which is actually fine with me.

But if there's a war with Iraq, for example, I will have be asked to work long nasty hours for an indefinite period of time, and I don't know what we will do.

Also, I have to deal with all kids of horrid, depressing information. And my skin is a lot thinner since I became a mom. I used to just shrug things off or even make jokes.. but now all I can think about is how these things are going to affect children. I stew over the kind of world our kids are living in. And it wreaks havoc on my ability to do my work sometimes.

I am the primary breadwinner, so I feel pretty stuck. I'd like to be in a more gentle profession, but I can't leave right now.

Luckily, I do have great, supportive bosses and co-workers, lots of vacation time.. and a good work environment. Lots of other parents to talk with.. and a company that really is more humane than most.

So I shouldn't complain.. but I do anyway.

[somemama]

There was a thread recently about what everyone does, career-wise, but I can't find it now.

I'm a teacher and it's great! (Not only for the time-schedule, but because I get to "mother" a lot of teenagers, too.)

But I wish I made more $$$$

[Marlena]

I"m a law school professor, specializing in health law issues.

I hear you, asherah, re being thinner-skinned now that one's a mama. Nothing used to phase me before dd was born; now, I find myself turning off the news or becoming quite upset when I hear reports of certain war crimes or other such issues, in particular.

[Betsy]

Its all about balance

I'm a working mom too and feel that as long as I can stay on the balance beam, things are wonderful this way. We have an au pair so my two children get consistent care in our own home. Its not cheap, but I've never understood the need to get cheap childcare. As long as I'm paying less than I can earn, then its what I will do. My kids know my co-workers, they know about what I do, they're proud of my accomplishments, and they like to travel with me when they can. I work 4 days a week so that I can manage my responsibilities at home and at work.

Its always a balancing act though and that's the challenge. But most of life seems to be that way. Eat a balanced diet, balance work and play, etc. etc.

Of course I had to use a breast pump at work, and I have learned to turn off the alarm clock before the kids hear it since we co-sleep, but it works for us. And my 3.5 yo ds is still nursing at night.

So keep the balance in your life whether you work outside the home, or not.

[teachma]

Betsy, you are fortunate to have never understood the need for "cheap childcare." Many mamas have to make a decision on their child care based on affordability; not all of us have the luxury of being as selective as you've been! My child care is not "cheap" -- I think that word denotes not just low cost but poor quality-- but I have had to pass up the au pair and nanny arrangements due to financial restrictions. Around this part of the country, my teacher's salary is less than that of many of my students' nannies!

[Peppamint]

Originally posted by teachma
Betsy, you are fortunate to have never understood the need for "cheap childcare." Many mamas have to make a decision on their child care based on affordability; not all of us have the luxury of being as selective as you've been! My child care is not "cheap" -- I think that word denotes not just low cost but poor quality-- but I have had to pass up the au pair and nanny arrangements due to financial restrictions. Around this part of the country, my teacher's salary is less than that of many of my students' nannies!

LOL What would you think if I told you I work for $8.39/hr and that actually helps our financial situation out? If dd wasn't staying with my mom (no charge) and I had to pay for daycare it wouldn't even be worth working unless I was full time and had benefits.

I'm quite sure your au pair makes more than dh and I will this year!

[rockergirrl]

I am an Internet Project Manager. I have been with the company for 6 1/2 years and they have been wonderful to work for. It is still a very young (age wise) company though and I have run into some problems since having a baby. They have been very supportive of me and have allowed me to keep my position but work just three days a week so for that I am very thankful. Most of the managers and directors are men and although they have children they also have wives who stay home. There are only a handful of female employees that are juggling both kids and their jobs. This year however there has been a baby boom with the female employees so I am hoping issues regarding part time/ flex time and family friendly policies will change. It was a struggle for me to be allowed to work part time but I am hoping that it will allow for others to do the same. It is the type of place though were people put in a lot of overtime and so it has been a struggle for me to have to leave every day at the same time to pick up DS. I still hear sly comments on my last day of the week that I am a slacker and have the next days off. I just ignore them now but they do get to me once in awhile.

[ebaby]

Just a note here. When I here comments about what a slacker I am, how I use to work so hard before ds, or how nice it must be nice to only work half days from the"peanut gallery" I use to let it go but now I respond with:
"my priorities are in balance and this lets me give my best to you while I am here and my best to my family while I am there. If more people would keep those two things in balance we would have a happier world!"
So far no one has disagreed with that.
I do affirmations each day that remind me I am in balance and all of the decisions I have made so far have gotten me exactly where I am.
We have to do what is right and lead by example, and always ask for what you want, may not get it the first hundred times but persistance pays off.
Regardless of how much someone makes, we all have so much in common. And I am thankful to have stumbled into this board!

K:BabyE'sMomma

[ebaby]

"When one door closes another one opens;
but we so often look so long
and so regretfully upon the closed door,
that we do not see the ones
which open for us."
- Alexander Graham Bell

[asherah]

Yeah, I get those little slacker comments too sometimes.

And what gets me is that we do all these reports on studies that show work-aholics are really not the best employees... people with healthy, happy balanced lives are!

UGH. We do all these reports on telecommuting, flex-time, job-sharing etc.. and yet its still all about "face time."

I'm GOOD at what I do. And I can do it faster than a lot of other people. I am NOT a slacker at work.. I am very focused and committed. The fact that I have a baby and a life that I am also committed to does NOT make me less valuable.

So much still needs to change in our work-culture!

[Lucky Charm]

I am an emergency room nurse.

I am back in school pursuing my degree with the hopes of becoming a nurse practitioner. I love being a nurse. i make good $$ i schedule myself. i work mostly weekends, but take today for instance. i will work a "princess shift" from 3p-7p for a friend who wants to leave early. i am home all day, i am still home for dinner and my teenager will watch her little brother while i am at work. i do the balancing act too, often working nights so i am at home during the day....this leads to severe sleep deprivation, often i am up 36 hrs in a row. but hey, a girls gotta do wat a girls gotta do. and after a stretch like that, with 3 kids a ahouse and 2 dogs,, it makes me seethe when my sah sil say shes "exhausted". i am so glad we have this forum!! now i have working moms who really understand the unique pressures and stressors we are under. unless you are doing it, its really hard to understand!!!

[Betsy]

teachma

Ouch - sorry for making it sound like I'm rolling in dough and can't understand those that make small salaries. That couldn't be further from the truth. All I meant to say is that "cheap" and "childcare" are two words that don't go together any better than "cheap" and "true love" do.

Au pairs make $139.05 per 45-hour week.

[Alenushka]

I alway worked or went to school. I am very lucky becuase I can change how I work as my kids grow. I can work at home when the baby is asleep, freelance when the baby is older and is at home with dad or occasinal sitter, and now that kids are in school and pre school, I work part time outside (and sometime at home)
I never felt guilty about school or work. What for ? I love to study and I love to work and love my kids! MY kids beniffeted form developing close relationships with someone elce besides me. I made some money and I did not feel traped at home. I always enjoyed that I can make my onw money and not rely 100% on my husband. One never know what life will bring.... Extra money I made allowed me to pay for my kids swimming and music lessons. My younger son attends great pre school jut like his older brother.
MY hsuband and I cooperate. When he has slow weeks, he pick up more slack at home and I try to get more work and vs vs.
I grew up in Russia and almost all women returned to work after 1.5 year paid leave. Of course, in Russia people have close extended familie and it helps/
Unfortunately, my my died, but the Russia nanny we found was like grandma to us!
I cam ware of working mom stress ont he day I work outside my home. IT is importnat to ahve a day care provider you are absolutely happy with! It is importnat to be oprganized. I get up 15 minutes before kids and take my shower. Noght before all the lucnhes are made, breakfast table is laid out, cofeemaker mahcine is stocked. I use lalarm function in my Palm pilot to remind myself things like: sahring obejct for younger one, pizza moneyfor the older. I prefer to get up a little early so we all can have nice hot breakfas together. Night before I remind my kids that tomorrow is my work day and we need to work together int he morning. Whne I pick them up after work and we get home, they both get 30 minutes to do anything they want while I am making dinner. MAke a fort out pillows, watch Arthur, anything. I also understand that they will be certian amount of misbehaving in the evening because after whoel day at shcool, they are in the safe place, where they can let themsleves go.
P.S. I think is gymboree is overrated! There are lovely and afforadable swimming classes and movement classes for mothers and babies at your local YMCA or JCC!

[Quirky]

Originally posted by Betsy

Au pairs make $139.05 per 45-hour week.

That's $3.09 an hour! I guess they're not in it for the money.