What is wrong with these children?!?!? Vent!!!!

[oceanbaby]

They just won't eat anything but crap, even the 1yo! Ds1 has been bugging me for ice cream sandwiches (soy dream) since he woke up. I let him have one because we had talked about it yesterday, and now he just wants more. Won't eat anything for breakfast. I just lost my cool and told him I was throwing the box away if he kept bugging me about them.

The 1yo, I know he is hungry. I made brown rice cereal with maple syrup and bananas. Wouldn't even try it, either of them.

Of course, if they see the crackers sitting on the counter, they will eat the entire box.

If there is anything remotely sweet in the house, ds1 is all over it. And I'm not talking about sugar pop cereal and twinkies. I'm talking about maple syrup, jam, plain sugar, etc., so it's not a matter of just not keeping these things in the house. Forget about having anything around for an occasional treat.

I am just so fed up with trying to feed them. Constantly making food, constantly wasting food, constantly cleaning. All they want is anything made with white flour or sugar. I'm tired of arguing about eating sugar. I tried the whole "they can eat anything in the house" thing, and it just didn't work. Ds1 would want to eat bowls of jam and maple syrup. And crackers of course. AAAAAHHHH!!!!

[chfriend]

Growth spurt?

[captain optimism]

We had a ten page discussion of this issue in Gentle Discipline:

http://mothering.com/discussions/sho...highlight=food

People laid out a bunch of ideas, which I am summarizing this way:

1. You select a menu of healthful foods and your children can eat anything you have on the table at mealtime. You also offer snacks.

a. many people who do this successfully have their children help with shopping and menu planning
b. some do and some don't make sure that there are a mix of old and new foods on the table

2. You select a pantry/fridge of healthful foods and your children can eat anything you have in the house at mealtime.
a. ...or whenever else they like
b. you don't have anything in the house that you don't want your child to eat.

3. You let your child select what foods to eat and when to eat them.
a. you even let them pick which foods to have in the house
b. you trust the child not to starve himself or herself.

Obviously, we had a lot of disagreement about this. Some of us were most concerned with what food children ate and some were most concerned about our efforts cooking, or the budget we had to provide food.

For us, so far, choice 2 has worked the best. I do limit what's in the house to what I would be willing to see my son eat. I don't mind giving him a snack when he asks. He eats very well. He does like sweet things and crackers, but he also likes fruits and vegetables and eggs and cheese and tofu. So that's okay.

[chfriend]

Sorry, I didn't realize it was a question about how to handle food....thought you were trying to figure out why they were so hungry!

We use #2 in Cap'n O's summary. Both kids (4 and 1) will sometimes focus on one food exclusively for a bit, but over a few days time eat a really balanced diet. When they eat a whole box of crackers...are they transfat free, whole grain type crackers? Honestly, I'd be concerned only if they were leaving a big mess for me (that can make me cranky!).

There's alway food they can get, and I'm happy to prepare something if they ask. The 4 year old is a heck of a cook too!

[kimmysue2]

Yep I too have my son help make dinner. If there is just ONE food in the dinner we are making he will at least try it. Last night was haystacks and he normally doesn't like the vegie chili I make but because there was cheese and tomatoes (from grandpa's garden) on it he ate a decent portion.Plus he got to put his haystack together himself.

[oceanbaby]

The crackers are transfat free, and often (but not always) whole grain. And my kids have always been very involved in shopping and cooking with me, especially the 4yo. He will carefully select foods, help me prepare it, and then refuse to even try it.

We pretty much do the #2 scenario from above, but I just get really frustrated when the only choices he makes are maple syrup, ice cream sandwiches, and crackers. And then I slip into disallowing foods, which I always regret because I find myself playing the infuriating, ridiculous "one more bite" game. I guess I always forget that overall he probably does have a pretty good diet, albeit lacking in vegetables. (And because he cooks pretty much every meal with me, there is no sneaking veggies into anything.)

Dh says that I am expecting way too much. I end up feeling like a failure if they're not eating swiss chard and brown rice for lunch. I think dh is probably right (but don't tell him that!).

[octobermom]

consideer a possible allergy kids will often seek out inappropiate amounts of stuff there body is actualy allergic too..
Deanna

[chfriend]

Psst...dp was completely relieved to hear at an API meeting that everybody else kids are addicted to Annie's Mac and Cheese too (Well, ours were until we discovered that dd1 is sensitive to wheat so now we make rice alphabet pasta with organic american cheese, waaay too much salt, butter and parmesan so that it tastes exactly like Annie's Mac and Cheese.)

Don't tell though....

[MamaMonica]

If they're craving a lot of sugar/carbs- sometimes it's protein they need. Do they get enough good-tasting (to them) protein? This sometimes quiets the sugar monster!

[oceanbaby]

Ds1 used to eat a lot more protein - he used to love steak and chicken. Now he'll eat chicken, but not steak. He will also eat eggs and cheese, and very often beans.

I just made a bunch of hardboiled eggs, and I am going to try offering these to him first thing in the morning to see if it changes his cravings during the day.

[dharmamama]

Sugar tastes really good! It's an unfortunate fact of life that many of the things that taste really good aren't very healthy for us. I prefer sugar to brown rice, hands down. Luckily I am grown up enough to understand why I need to eat more brown rice than sugar! :LOL

I have also noticed with myself that I don't want to eat things that take effort to prepare/eat. Snacks are often easier than more nutritious food.

Can you offer your children a compromise? Jelly, yes, but it must be eaten in yogurt? Crackers, yes, but they must have some sort of nutritious spead on them? Ice cream sandwiches (MY FAVORITE!!) yes, but ONLY once per day until the box is gone? White rice, yes, but as rice pudding with some sort of protein booster in it?

In our house, I serve scheduled snacks. The kids are free to eat them or not. I also prepare several snacks every morning that I put in small tupperware-like containers on their shelf in the fridge. They can eat them whenever they want, but they are all something like cut-up fruit, cut up veggies, yogurt, raisins, peanuts, etc. All healthy stuff. If they won't eat that stuff either, I figure they aren't really hungry. I find that if I take care of making all (or most) of the snacks all at once (right after I have made lunch for my dh to take to work with him) it doesn't seem like I'm constantly bogged down making food.

Namaste!

[oceanbaby]

I also prepare several snacks every morning that I put in small tupperware-like containers on their shelf in the fridge. They can eat them whenever they want, but they are all something like cut-up fruit, cut up veggies, yogurt, raisins, peanuts, etc. All healthy stuff. If they won't eat that stuff either, I figure they aren't really hungry. I find that if I take care of making all (or most) of the snacks all at once (right after I have made lunch for my dh to take to work with him) it doesn't seem like I'm constantly bogged down making food.

I've got to start doing this.

[mommyofshmoo]

...from the dark side

Just one opinion...

I am probably the most lenient momma I know with regards to sugar intake and I would say that my 3 yo. dd is the least sugar obsessed kid amoung our group of friends. My dd loves to wear candy necklaces- but won't actually eat them. She loves lollipops- but almost never finishes them unless she's in an orally fixated mood and today I got her a cupcake and she took literally 3 bites. All in all I'd say she may eat more sugar than her friends- but we almost never argue about it- which to me is a way bigger deal.

That said- My dd is seldom sick, has tons of energy and is basically the picture of health. She is muscular and a healthy weight. I know all of 1 person whose kid prefers fruits and veggies to white bread and hamburgers and her kid had pneumonia three times this winter.

I think kids figure it out about what they need of you offer decent food choices. and by "offer" I mean put on a plate in front of their noses. Kids often think they want sugar, but if you put protein in front of them they'll prefer it. Tonight my dd ate armenian string cheese (trader joe's) and a hamburger on a bun with ketchup - mostly organic, but on a white bread bun. She knows she has cookies in the cupboard and sour altoid candies on the counter she could eat, but she ate the protein choices- because she saw them.

My dd has little idea when she is hungry and no idea what she really wants to eat 90% of the time. I have to figure this stuff out for her- but if offered the right foods, she eats pretty well. I'd say she only eats veggies once or twice a week, but she eats a bunch all at one time when she decides to- and those meals she shuns the other food on her plate. Go figure!

Most toddlers eat in a way that would be crazy as an adult. I'm always pleasantly suprised at restaurants to overhear other people negotiating with their kids over food most kids eat terribly.

Anyway- i guess my advice is to try not to worry and get caught up in the struggle. Most 1 year olds only eat 20 or so foods. A real favorite around our place is chicken, rice and carrots- cook PLAIN. Most kids'll eat it. Also spaghetti and meatballs.

Oh well- good luck. I thought I'd have my kid eating tofu and kale and whole grains 24/7 when she was born. So much for that.

[mommyofshmoo]

One idea may be to offer foods that are slightly more refined.

Like my daughter will eat pancakes without syrup if they are made with a mix that is fairly refined- even if I slip in some babanas and a little nut meal.

OTOH- when I make pancakes with whole grain mix, she drowns them in syrup.


I think you kinda have to choose your poison and weigh out the various choices.

[Mommiska]

Oceanbaby - I don't have a lot of good advice to add (you've gotten a lot!). I just wanted to tell you to not blame yourself!

I have three kids, who have all been fed the same way. They are all fairly good eaters, but definitely have different tastes.

And my oldest dd has a MAJOR sweet-tooth. I think she would eat candy all day long if she was allowed to.

The other two kids? They do like sweet things, but they seem able to take them or leave them (both of them have been known to take a couple of bites of a cookie and put it down or in the garbage - dd1 would NEVER leave even a crumb of cookie!).

Hang in there...food is such a difficult one...