Sneaky little teen

[curious_04]

Hi I'm a newbie here!
I was wondering what you all do with nosey little teens. I keep my bedroom door locked because we keep all the household medication in the bathroom off of my bedroom. Yesterday my daughter decided to break in to my ked: bedroom : and of course succeeded. Now I'm worried about her doing it again. Any suggestions?

[alegna]

How is locking everything up teaching her responsibility?

-Angela

[Doodlebugsmom]

Do you really thing she'd get into medication? I mean, I can see a little kid who doesn't know better doing that, but a teen? I was a sneaky little rebellious teen myself, but I never would've considered getting into any medication.

[UnschoolnMa]

Why do you think the medicine needs to be locked up from a teen is my first question? Has she had a drug problem or something? Are you locking it because of just her or are there younger children that concern you?

If having the door locked is important to you I would have an honest and open conversation about just that...why it's important to you, and respect. If she locked her door or her diary or something else would she want you to respect that boundary or would breaking in be acceptable? Did you ask her what she needed/why she was breaking in?

In my opinion, the place to start is conversation. Good luck

[irinam]

Well, maybe I am not an expert since my teen is not "little" and not "nosey".

But if for some reason I would not want him to get to the medicine cabinet, I would talk to him about that reason.

I guess I am not fully understanding your predicament...

[anj119]

i think i might understand the predicament but i don't think you'll like my advice,

the predicament is that you have some 'items' that you 1) don't want to be found by anyone or 2) don't want to be found by her, if im wrong on this just tell me. My advice to you is to rethink the importance of having those things in your life, if you decide you absolutely cannot live without whatever it is you rather she not find, youre gonna have to get real creative about hiding places. I'll tell you this, whatever you do, do not let your protectiveness about your privacy come in between you and your daughter -it will be something you will hugely regret, i promise. its not fair to her to be treated as if she is not welcomed in your room or in your life. there is a difference in my opinion between teaching her about everyones need for privacy and leading her by your own good example and straight locking her out of your life or your heart. if you got something to hide, thats on you thats not on her, and its not fair for you to treat her as if it was.

like i said, if i'm wrong on this just tell me .... but if im not, please think about what i said. or just think about the possibility of opening yourself to your daughter again... she needs you more now than she can tell you. mabey you know that already,

-anj119

[Marsupialmom]

oops

[curious_04]

Geez,

I feel liked I've been attacked. Yes, I do have reasons I don't want my daughter in a medicine cabinet. She is bipolar and has some med's she takes that could be very dangerous if abused. Obviously, I have come to the wrong place for advice.

[Ruthla]

I think that part of the "problem" is the way you're approaching this: I would never consider my child to be a "sneaky little" anything! I trust my children not to abuse medications- not that they take any at the moment, but I don't have any fear of them intentionally overdosing or anything like that.

If this is truly something that needs to be kept out of her reach, for her own safety, then consider putting the meds in a cabinet with a combination lock.

[irinam]

Originally Posted by curious_04

Geez,

I feel liked I've been attacked. Yes, I do have reasons I don't want my daughter in a medicine cabinet. She is bipolar and has some med's she takes that could be very dangerous if abused. Obviously, I have come to the wrong place for advice.

I guess if the post was "Bipolar teen - need help" - that would have triggered different replies than "sneaky little teen" and "nosey little teen". Nothing in your OP indicated the condition of your daughter, nor the reasons for you wanting to keep the medicine cabinet locked.

In this situation I personally would get a separate container for the dangerous mediation and install a combination lock on it.

You said she is bipolar - does she understand the danger of the above mentioned medicine? Why does she want to get it?

[cottonwood]

I think that if you had put it in those terms to begin with, people would have been more sympathetic (but probably would have offered the same advice.) Referring to a child in derogatory and antagonistic ways (sneaky little teen, nosey little teen) is really not in keeping with the respectful AP parenting philosophy that these boards (and Mothering mag) are based on.

[AladdinsLamp]

Bipolar teenager with meds would be a particularly difficult issue. I would probably keep those meds locked up too. But just the meds, not the room or the bathroom.

If my mom had locked me out of her room and bathroom I would have felt very hurt. I would not say that the meds are locked up to keep her out of them, but for younger kids, strangers, etc.

I would have probably tried to break in to the room too...

I'm sorry you felt attacked. A diagnosed bp teen with powerful meds is much different situation.

[Satori]

Here's an idea, buy a locking meds cabinet, I know all foster parents are required to have one. That way the meds are locked up but she's not locked out of you room which brings serious trust issues in itself. Also, I do believe your NOT supposed to store meds in the bathroom due to high temps and humidity.

[johub]

Curious,
I second (or third) the suggestion of a locking meds box.
I also wanted to voice my support for you in this diffiuclt time. You did not deserve the reception you got.
If you feel your teen is being sneaky, you have the right to voice that feeling and not be attacked. After all, you are commisserating with other mamas who may very well have felt the same way on occasion.
It is nobodys business why you need your medicatoins locked. It is not a bad idea altogether.
Joline

[KateMary]

Originally Posted by johub

Curious,
I second (or third) the suggestion of a locking meds box.
I also wanted to voice my support for you in this diffiuclt time. You did not deserve the reception you got.
If you feel your teen is being sneaky, you have the right to voice that feeling and not be attacked. After all, you are commisserating with other mamas who may very well have felt the same way on occasion.
It is nobodys business why you need your medicatoins locked. It is not a bad idea altogether.
Joline

I agree. I assumed that there was an underlying reason that the OP locked the medication and it didn't matter to me why. I can understand the trust and open door policy thing but it just doesn't work for some special needs teens. When our niece lived with us, we kept her meds in a safe. I have never seen a locking medicine cabinet so it might be easier to find a small combo lock safe.

[Satori]

Originally Posted by KateMary

I agree. I assumed that there was an underlying reason that the OP locked the medication and it didn't matter to me why. I can understand the trust and open door policy thing but it just doesn't work for some special needs teens. When our niece lived with us, we kept her meds in a safe. I have never seen a locking medicine cabinet so it might be easier to find a small combo lock safe.

There very easy to find, I found a ton just by going to google http://www.google.com/search?sourcei...dicine+cabinet

[irinam]

Originally Posted by johub

If you feel your teen is being sneaky, you have the right to voice that feeling and not be attacked.

Yes, everybody has a right to voice their feelings. Just like everybody has a right to feel differently about the way it was voiced.

I would not want my husband posting "this sneaky wife of mine" - that would feel derogatory to me, but of course he has a right to do it.

[johub]

If I am venting to friends about my child or my husband, (and the same if a friend was venting to me) I would hope that they would listen rather than judge my anger.
When my dh is behaving like a scruffy lookign nerfherder (insert choice derogatory name here) I will say dh is being a scruffy looking nerfherder today. Do you really say to your friends "it is really inappropriate and unfair to your dh to call him a scruffylooking nerfherder".
No , you listen and react to the core issue, and not critique the choice of words made out of frustration.
This does not mean I really hate my dh or we have a bad relationship or I think that being a scruffylooking nerfherder is really part of his core character.
I give the same consideratoin to friends I meet online who are talking about their frustrations.
joline

[MrsRoss]

Originally Posted by johub

No , you listen and react to the core issue, and not critique the choice of words made out of frustration.
This does not mean I really hate my dh or we have a bad relationship or I think that being a scruffylooking nerfherder is really part of his core character.

I second this. I love my dh, but there are sometimes that I just need to call him names when I'm venting about him.

I'm sorry that you got blasted, Curious. Being a parent to a teen can be really hard. I know because I was a very difficult teenager!

And, hey, who're you calling scruffy-looking?

[kelly_belly]

Originally Posted by irinam

Well, maybe I am not an expert since my teen is not "little" and not "nosey".

But if for some reason I would not want him to get to the medicine cabinet, I would talk to him about that reason.

I guess I am not fully understanding your predicament...

No, you judged curious before even trying to understand her predicament.
Curious, I know very little about bi-polar children, but what I do know is that you have your hands full. Maybe if more parents would admit their children aren't perfect and keep a closer watch on them, things like juvenile delinquency, drug use, and pregnancy wouldn't be such a shock to the parents when it happens. You always hear the parent say " I didn't see it coming." What teen isn't nosey and sneaky? They are just curious. Lady if you think your teen isn't sneaky or nosey, you better wake up.