Wet nurse connection website? - it exists!!!!!

[Theloose]

***UPDATE check it out! (see message #22 for details) ***

This is a spin-off of the wet nurse thread at (http://www.mothering.com/discussions....php?t=165075).

I love the idea of connecting people locally...

Suppose there were a wet nurse database, where you could sign up as a donor or a recipient, and provide your location so that this is done w/o shipping costs whenever possible. Signing up as a donor is a commitment to help out someone in need. You can take your name off the list at any time. People are connected internally, it's not just a list of people in your area for you to go and cold-call. With a computer connection, you can set how much milk you need/can provide, and the computer will find the best matches.

Recipients pay per ounce for the milk, but an amount that is LOWER than the cost of formula. Maybe they also pay a membership fee that covers pumping supplies and any medical/STD testing for the donors, to make sure the milk is as safe as possible. Or maybe all those costs are pulled out of the per-ounce cost. That way you're not penalized for only wanting to supplement with a small amount.

Donors are paid per ounce, and thus are compensated for their time and effort. But since they're paid less than the cost of formula, there is no reason to do it at the expense of their own children.

People needing a cheaper alternative to formula will have one that is healthier as well, and may even realize that they can make their own milk, for free!

It would not be that difficult to set up such a website, I could do it with dh, the computer scientist. The hardest part would be getting getting the word out, and the network started. And then there's figuring out how to get out of liability issues...

What do you think? What else does the site need? Should it work differently? Anyone want to steal/share the idea and run with it?

I'm busy for the next few weeks, but maybe dh and I can just slap something together when we have the time, and let you critique it from there?

[Sweetiemommy]

I want to be a wet nurse!! I need the $$ and I have the milk! :LOL

[Janice in Canada]

I think linking local moms to donate/supply milk to each other, is a fantastic idea. The more I learn about the commercialization of human milk, through the Prolacta for-profit milk bank, patenting of human milk components, genetic engineering of human milk (ie goats/cows produced GMO milk with human milk genes), I think that MOMS need to take over control of their milk, directly.

For liability reasons, I would stay away from all issues of payment.

I think it should just be a database, where mom who need milk list their location & needs, and moms who would be willing to supply, list their contact information. Let the two parties privately negotiate any price, screening, logistics for transporting the milk, volumes needed, etc.

You could offer some information or suggestions re: all of those items above. Ie you could give some examples of prices
"you could compare with cost of formula, or cost of milk from milk banks, or cost of supplies plus time to pump, etc when negotiating your price."
and
"milk banks do the following screening tests - you might want to ask for these" (and perhaps the mom who needs the milk, will have to pay the cost of these tests).
"you may want milk to be pastuerized (heated at home) this is what you do, and this is the possible effects on the milk"
Maybe you (the recipient mom, not the website) would ask donor moms for character references, to make sure she is trustworthy - especially since the recipient mom won't know this woman.

just some thoughts
Janice

[Theloose]

Thanks for the replies!

The reason I like the idea of setting some standards/rules/whatever is to make it kind of fool-proof to invite people who need milk to use the system. I know I personally would be a little intimidated by having a list of people to call out of the blue and be like "can I have your milk?" If I weren't so sure of the benefits of breastmilk, it would be sooo much easier to just walk into the grocery store and buy formula.

I like your ideas, though. Starting out as just being a connection website, and nothing more is probably the best/easiest way to get it off the ground. Once that's successful, the whole thing could turn into a non-profit or something that could better deal with liability, maybe. What do you think?

[Satori]

There are already networks in place online and they dont cost a dime I could never charge someone for my milk, its immoral imo.

[Theloose]

I don't know about the other sites. I really haven't even done much research on the topic : I was just reading the other thread, there seemed to be a need, and I had an idea. (I'm working on ttc #1, but reading ahead...)

One thing I was thinking about was maybe people could set their own prices, including free. I agree that if I had milk to spare, I would feel awful accepting money for it. However, there are people who really need the money and wouldn't think to be a donor without the financial incentive. I think that in order for there to be a network big enough to actually compete with formula, there'd have to be money involved. Some people might even have trouble accepting someone else's milk as "charity" and would much prefer to pay them for their efforts.

[Satori]

You will find that its those who are willing to use donor milk tend to be a different kind of people and I donated milk for over 2 years and never asked for payment nor was it offered. One couple took me out to dinner on occasion and that was fine but selling it has serious legal risks if the baby gets sick from it. That's why milk banks pasteurize the milk to kill off stuff and do extensive donor testing. As sad at it is, people are sue happy these days and you have no legal protections if you sell your milk to someone and there are actually laws in place to prevent that. Even giving away of milk is done quietly lest you want the health dept showing up at your door.

[Stinkerbell]

I would love to see this site come to fruition. I wet nursed my niece while her mom went through medical treatment and it was such a beneficial thing for everyone involved. it made me very curious what would hav happened, had I not offered. I do not live in an area where BFing is realyl supported, nevermind encouraged or advertised, KWIM?

I would accept payment, but not ask for it unless there was an expense involved for me. I can totally see liability being an issue, also. I have no advice or thoughts on that...I am SO not business minded!!

But I think this is a fabulous idea. Perhaps even jsut a simple connection site...people offer their contact info and what they are looking for or willing to offer. And then your hands are washed as of that point...? Let them figure out where to go from there...? Just a thought.

[Theloose]

I now have more time, and am looking for stuff to do...
Is anyone interested in working on this with me? Maybe even just to get a prototype site up without actually making it public yet? I can do all the html/programming side of it if someone wants to help with the layout/look/research part.

Any takers? Even if you don't want to make a continuing commitment, I work best when I'm working WITH other people, so I thrive on feedback and suggestions...

[MarcyC]

I would love to help with the layout and look. I don't know how much I can contribute towards research, though. I can also send you a picture of me nursing with the SNS if you want it for your site.

[Theloose]

cool!

I'll set up a page on my site, and we'll go from there. Do you have any ideas? Feel free to PM/email me!

[my2girlsmama]

Originally Posted by whoMe

I now have more time, and am looking for stuff to do...
Is anyone interested in working on this with me? Maybe even just to get a prototype site up without actually making it public yet? I can do all the html/programming side of it if someone wants to help with the layout/look/research part.

Any takers? Even if you don't want to make a continuing commitment, I work best when I'm working WITH other people, so I thrive on feedback and suggestions...

I'd like to hear more from you offline. I have a site, listed below...very active and used....I'd need to know more and I'd suggest it stay free, and I'd be willing to possibly link up with you at some point.
You can email me if you wish EMAIL

[Theloose]

emailed you!

anyone else? the more minds, the merrier!

[jenrothg]

Oh boy, I have SO much to say about this idea... but only 5 minutes to type! I am breastfeeding an adopted baby (have placed posts on this site to ask for donated breastmilk) and now feel like my second job (well, third, if you count parenting) is cold calling people to ask for milk, showing up to mom's meetings, and perusing discussion boards online for more sources... There is at least one site I know of that an adoptive mom has up to try and connect people - often not locally, because she doesn't get enough donations. She doesn't charge, the donating moms don't get any money, and the mom getting the donation has to pay shipping... so it's obviously not ideal, but a good start.

I wonder about the idea of making it cost money but less than formula. I would totally consider this (even as I kill myself trying to get donations in local areas to avoid more expenses), but I wonder if it's feasible. Also, I just want to point out that if you are using a Lact-Aid, like most adoptive moms do, you are already paying for the supplies (which is an ongoing cost), plus meds (like domperidone which you can't get insurance to pay for), herbs and other things to boost your supply, etc. So I'm already spending a lot on this - though I haven't compared it to the cost of formula. I wish I could do more for moms who donate to me, but for now (I'm just getting started with this), I buy milk bags to replace the ones they gave me, try to have them over for dinner or take them out to eat, etc.

Anyway, a site that got a lot of publicity and a lot of mom traffic would be great... I have had the hardest time finding places to even try to find moms. LC's often won't support what I'm doing because of hospital liability, LLL doesn't even support mom-to-mom donations... I figure there are probably lots of moms out there who have even a little extra milk in their freezer to donate, or milk about to expire, etc. but how do you find them? So a site that offered tips, links to pro-breastfeeding groups in the area, people to contact, etc. would be great!

more later-
jen

[uzra_hashmi@rediff]

Wet nurse connection website?

I stumbled into the following reference and website that is supportive of breastfeeding and shared / wet nursing in a balanced manner:
http://www.waba.org.my/gims/mstf/vol3no2/eng.doc.
Some of the members might like to visit it and read the literature. It is always better to know what is going on and how others view the issues that are of interest to us. Good luck.
Uzra

[Theloose]

I've actually got some stuff up on the site now. Come on over!

[my2girlsmama]

Originally Posted by whoMe

I've actually got some stuff up on the site now. Come on over!

Awesome job!

I've posted it to my email list from my site, and as it grows keep me posted and I can add it to my site.

[littlecityfarmer]

Great idea-- I sent you an email...

[Janice in Canada]

Hmmmm, I checked it out. Looks interesting.

I think these pages could be added:

A guide to screening of donors

A warning about donating to Prolacta, the for-profit milk processing company that is looking for donors.

Personally, I wonder if I would leave the $ figure question right off the form - for legal reasons. I would let people negotiate any fees themselves, privately, without me even knowing about it. That's what I'd do if it were my site. So you'd just match on the basis of geographic location? Except I would image, there would be moms willing to pay shipping - then geographic location doesn't really enter into it?

You could include a guide to pricing, however.

Will the site match people automatically, or will you have to do it manually?

Since I suggested the above, I'll think about what I could do to draft the above content - to at least get it started!

Janice

[Theloose]

Originally Posted by Janice in Canada

Since I suggested the above, I'll think about what I could do to draft the above content - to at least get it started!

Yay!
thanks

Originally Posted by beansmommy

Great idea-- I sent you an email...

I didn't get it try resending or PM?