Did AP come naturally to you? - Page 2

[sparkprincess]

I chose the second option.

I WISH I could say it came totally naturally to me, but alas, it did not.

For me, my instincts told me to nurse, cuddle, hold, my baby, but I started out motherhood by stiffling those insticts.

Luckily, a good friend gave me a gentle nudge. I started researching and didn't stop! I "gave in" to my instincts and couldn't be happier!

I have often wondered if the more researchy, and the more likely a person is to think outside the box, and think for themselves (as opposed to being spoonfed bad info), if that is the kind of person that is more likely to be the AP kind of parent.

I have wondered this too! I'm a research type of person and am totally into learning and trying new things. I have friends who are the complete opposite and they are total sheeple. They think I'm a hippie or something!

[MeghansDad]

i was changin diapers and caring for the baby right away and i havent let up any since moment one. So yes, AP is for me

[famousmockngbrd]

Well, the *desire* to AP came easily, but actually doing it sometimes is hard. Like when you have been carrying your DC around for several hours, and your back and arms are sore. Or it's 4:30 AM and you are being simultaneously pummeled by several DC's knees and elbows. Or you have to NIP and people look at you funny.

I'd say AP comes naturally to me but parenting in general is kind of hard.

[moma justice]

i was pretty much APed as a baby by my momma, who was part of aback to the land/hippy tribe of other pretty AP mommas...my mom wore me much more than the other babies b/c i SCREAMED if she did not have me in her arms...
cd, bf, all that was part of it too
unfortunately my mom was convinced that co-sleeping would certainly KILL your baby, so we were all in the crib
*I* hated this as a baby and ended up with her either rocking me for hours all night in the rocking chair, my dad walking the floor with me all night, or me just CIO in my crib....they only did it when they felt sleep deprived...too bad they did not understand that EVERYONE can sleep if baby gets to sleep beside her moma...

so yes AP came very naturally for me....i still feel like an animal mother after 2 years of it.
but on a side note, my only other sister who has kids is not very AP
she does not really co-sleep, does not cloth diaper, does not baby wear (even though her babies were high needs and i offered her a sling...) does not really GD, DOES breast feed but weans around a year, infact her babies are in day care adn they watch a LOT of tv at home ( A LOT!!!!! always on)

she loves her kids and is not a BAD mom, but not really AP.
so how does that happen?

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by MeghansDad

i was changin diapers and caring for the baby right away and i havent let up any since moment one. So yes, AP is for me

Wow!
I never imagined a dad would respond on this thread!
Here's a story:
When we brought ds home from the hospital, I was still assuming we'd do all the mainstream stuff and eventually use CIO. On the second day of ds's born life, dh said "You know, the first time he cries himself to sleep, his spirit's broken. Let's not ever let that happen, ok?".
And it was like something inside of me fundamentally shifted.
I was dreading CIO while I was pregnant, and dh, who'd never read a word on parenting, just "got it".
Then, a few months ago, I was watching a National Geographic special on, I think it was, Brazilian pigmy natives, and I noticed that all the men carried the toddlers in slings!
I really think much of AP can come just as easily to dads as it can to moms...
Lol...now I'm inspired to do a spinoff poll about men.

[annakiss]

I voted definitely, but I was raised AP so maybe I'm not the group you're asking... I didn't know the term AP for quite awhile. One day I was watching TV and heard about it on A Baby Story of all places and turned to DH and said, "Hey! That's what we do! We attachment parent!" I was pretty excited about having a lable. I've gotten well over that excitement as the lable seems to scare the straights. Since coming to MDC I learned there was a whole lot more I could be doing (and lemme tell you, I did alot already).

[artgoddess]

I chose "For the Most Part" but I might have qualified for naturally. I did so many AP things on instinct before I realy knew what it was. I cried and fretted over vaccines more than anyone I knew, but I did go against my better judgement and let DS get the early ones at his baby well check ups. But then I learned more about on MDC and felt more confident and "natural" following my gut and have since stopped vaxing.
Same wht the sling vs. stroller. I hated the darned stroller, and the Bjourn was okay, but DS was plastered in one position in front of me, and I could never get the hange of nursing in the Bjourn. Once I found out more about slings I was so much more at ease and happier.

[meemee]

doing all the typical ap thing came naturally to me. BUT i needed help with GD. not to yell. to really understand thru books and classes i took that she was a baby and not a miniature adult. so i chose the second option.

[Sharlla]

I was raised by a mainstream family but my motherly insticts kicked in when I had my son. i never knew what AP was and was told by so many people to circ when I didn't want to (I didn't listen to them)

[USAmma]

Yes, during the early months with Abi it was easy to be AP. Then she hit toddler years with a bang and it was very hard sometimes to be patient, listen, and other AP things. I made a lot of mistakes with her. She was my first, very spirited, and I had the imprinted memories of my own very non-AP childhood to fall back on. It was hard to fight those demons. I found myself want to say and do what was done to me. The more I do it, the better I get at ignoring them, though.

[Destinye]

Originally Posted by USAmma

Yes, during the early months with Abi it was easy to be AP. Then she hit toddler years with a bang and it was very hard sometimes to be patient, listen, and other AP things. I made a lot of mistakes with her. She was my first, very spirited, and I had the imprinted memories of my own very non-AP childhood to fall back on. It was hard to fight those demons. I found myself want to say and do what was done to me. The more I do it, the better I get at ignoring them, though.

I am the same way, AP was totally natural with a new-born and infant even though she was high needs. With an extremely spirited toddler its hard! I hope it gets easier as I see the glimpses of how it is working in the sweet things she does when she is not throwing a fit because the wrong track of music is in the CD player, or I turned the faucet on in the bath to warm not freezing cold for her to play with, or she can't squish the cat or climb on the kitchen table, and that was just in the last hour!

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by Destinye

I am the same way, AP was totally natural with a new-born and infant even though she was high needs. With an extremely spirited toddler its hard! I hope it gets easier as I see the glimpses of how it is working in the sweet things she does when she is not throwing a fit because the wrong track of music is in the CD player, or I turned the faucet on in the bath to warm not freezing cold for her to play with, or she can't squish the cat or climb on the kitchen table, and that was just in the last hour!

Yeah...that's starting to happen to me, too.
(I have a thread over in GD about it, actually, asking for help).
My "sweet-mommy-auto-pilot" thingie isn't so strong anymore, and I find myself having to try *really* hard a lot of the time.

[edamommy]

I'm very happy to know that it came so naturally to so many of you! Lucky babies!! I WISH it did for me. I was raised in such a dysfunctional home. I had NO IDEA how to parent gently... only how to be selfish and demanding and I knew I didn't WANT to be that person. So, AP is work for me. I imagine that if I ever have another baby, it will feel more natural to me. But for now, it's not always easy.

[abac]

It comes naturally to me. We don't do all the "required" AP things, but to me AP is more about having respect for your child and following your instincts. When my baby cries, my instinct says to go pick him up and comfort him. I think all mothers have this instinct, some just choose to ignore it because they think that's what they're SUPPOSED to do.

Originally Posted by Mamakay

Why do you think AP comes easier to some people?

I agree with starlein26:

i personally think that any parent who practices ap is very introspective (or they were lucky enough to be raised ap). they have analyzed their upbringing, seeing the good and definitely the bad, in a way that the mainstream hasn't. i think that parents who choose more mainstream methods probably use denial as their coping mechanism.

My sister and I could not be more different when it comes to parenting. For example, she hits her children, yells at them constantly and expects immediate compliance at all times. The reason I don't do these things is because I REMEMBER what it felt like to be treated that way as a child. I remember all of the fear and frustration I felt. I remember knowing that I was not being treated in a fair and loving way.
I think people who raise their children in a non-AP way are not empathizing with their children. They are not truly considering how their children FEEL, they are not seeing things from their child's POV.

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by abac

It comes naturally to me. We don't do all the "required" AP things, but to me AP is more about having respect for your child and following your instincts. When my baby cries, my instinct says to go pick him up and comfort him. I think all mothers have this instinct, some just choose to ignore it because they think that's what they're SUPPOSED to do.I agree with starlein26:My sister and I could not be more different when it comes to parenting. For example, she hits her children, yells at them constantly and expects immediate compliance at all times. The reason I don't do these things is because I REMEMBER what it felt like to be treated that way as a child. I remember all of the fear and frustration I felt. I remember knowing that I was not being treated in a fair and loving way.
I think people who raise their children in a non-AP way are not empathizing with their children. They are not truly considering how their children FEEL, they are not seeing things from their child's POV.

I definitely agree that that's true for a lot of us especially as they get older.
Did any of you make promises to yourselves when you were little about how you were going to treat your kids when you were the parent?
I remember sitting in my room, crying, and making very, very serious promises to myself about how I was going to treat my kids.
Did some people never go through that, or did they just forget?

And I'm still wondering how I got lucky enough to have such overwhelmingly strong maternal instincts in those early days, that set the trend for the future.
It was honestly like an overpowering biological drive to quickly respond to ds's cries when he was little, and to hold him close, etc.

[Lucky]

Originally Posted by abac

I remember knowing that I was not being treated in a fair and loving way.
I think people who raise their children in a non-AP way are not empathizing with their children. They are not truly considering how their children FEEL, they are not seeing things from their child's POV.

I think this exact same thing nearly everyday.