Oh my gosh. We had a total scare today but everything is okay.
We went in for our prenatal and the midwife (Lisa Miles) could not find the heartbeat with the Doppler. As she was searching she asked us if we had picked out any names yet. I said, "I really want to wait until you find the heartbeat to answer your question." Then she said, "I think we should do an ultrasound, they could not find the heartbeat for me either when I was 10 weeks. I am sure you are fine. I have to go see another patient right now. Please wait here." So I sent Jerry and Charlie to the play area while I waited for 15 minutes.
She came back and we got Jerry and Charlie and went into the ultrasound room. She looked and said I am not finding what I am looking for, let's try a vaginal. She looked a few minutes and said, "I am not sure either way, there is no doctor in right now so I would like to send you next door to the hospital for an ultrasound." She then asked how far along I was when I miscarried and I said I really don't want to talk about that right now. How do I get next door?
After I got dressed she met me in the waiting area and said, they cannot get you in until 5:15 p.m. Of course I was a wreck, crying and all and Charlie was beginning to melt down also. I told her I could not wait that long. She said, "It is lunch time and there are no doctors here right now. But you can go over to ER but you should call your insurance first to make sure it will be covered. I looked at her and said, "What do you think is going on? She said, "Kathy I really do not think this pregnancy is viable." Jerry called my sister and I felt devastated.
We went over to ER (same room I went to when we had our miscarriage in 2000) It took about an hour to register, get stats etc. My blood pressure was way up. I waited and thought, How do I post this, how do I tell people? I was such a fool to be optimistic. And then they said, "we cannot get you an ultrasound until 5:15 but we can do a Doppler test." I said again, "I can't wait that long, this is too hard on me." While I was talking to them, the phone rang and they told me it was Lisa who wanted to talk to me. She said, "Kathy Dr. Harkness is here and will do an ultrasound now if you will come back over." When I got over there I was told Dr. Sari was going to do it now, (think I felt thrown around?)
Anyway I asked Jerry to play with Charlie while I went in. The doctor did the vaginal ultrasound and Lisa stayed in the room with us. The doctor tried for about 5 minutes and then said, "I am not finding the gestational sac or any sign of pregnancy." I said, "How can the sac just disappear? I have not bled or anything." And she said, "here is a flash of something but this is not what I am looking for. I need to just finish up the exam. I am sorry." All of a sudden she said, "Has anyone ever told you that you have an extremely tipped uterus? I said, "no." And she said, "well here is baby with a heart beating away." I started sobbing and she said, "Kathy you need to quit crying or I am going to hurt you with the wand." Needless to say, I could not quit crying so she took it out a few minutes while I let out some emotion. I think I was not a normal patient. Oh well. Anyway baby is okay. What a day. I am tired, relieved, completely drained and so grateful.
Thanks and love to you all.
By the way Jerry was a doll today, but gotta share a man's perspective, We were driving home and Jerry said, "We learned a lesson here. Let's not schedule appointments over the lunch hour anymore."
Follow Mothering