Is this neglect? - Page 2

[octobermom]

Originally Posted by traceface

momof4peppers I'm just wondering what this means? Both little girls and little boys need prompt yet respectful diaper changes, I don't really see the distinction?

thanks for explaining!

Wondering myself..
Deanna

[JamesMama]

I hope her husband is able to accomplish something. I agree with the PP's though, it it were my child they were treating so poorly, I wouldn't return them...but I guess I don't know the situation they are in...

[lilyka]

Well it sounds liek things are going to be better but if these ladies have bad attitudes in general and expcialy towards a particular child and her diapers I just don't know that that is a good place for her. I doubt diapering is the end of thier attitude problem. it is probably just the tip of the ice berge. if they can't have better attitude with thier children they care fro and the other staff perhaps it is time to take this to the edlers of the church.

[phathui5]

If I were your friend, I would pull her out and find a new program. I agree with the poster who said that even though it'll get done now, it's by someone who doesn't want to be changing her. She's going to pick up on that, "my teacher thinks I'm yucky."

[mamakay]

Originally Posted by phathui5

If I were your friend, I would pull her out and find a new program. I agree with the poster who said that even though it'll get done now, it's by someone who doesn't want to be changing her. She's going to pick up on that, "my teacher thinks I'm yucky."

Yep. Plus, I'm not sure I'd be ok with my ds being watched by the kind of person who would say no to a child who'd pooped and asked to be changed.
That's just creepy.

[momof4peppers]

Thanks for the clarification Laralou. I have a son who HATES to be touched, so my first instinct is always to assume that the child didn't WANT someone other than mom/dad/familiar caregiver to change their diaper.

And sorry about the sexist comment. i've been lurking here too long and try to respect the number of women who have been abused by caregivers. It was uncalled for.

Elizabeth

[delicious]

yeah. i would take my kid out after the first day. no WAY would i leave dd in the care of people with that kind of crappy attitude.

[octobermom]

And sorry about the sexist comment. i've been lurking here too long and try to respect the number of women who have been abused by caregivers. It was uncalled for.

I didn't read it as a sexist comment I thought you might be concerned about something in the female form KWIM? Personally I consider diaper changes a must do I'd not leave my child someplace un PT if I eaither didn't feel comfortable with the person in charge changing my dd or if my DD was uncomfortable.. however sitting in a dirty diaper is unacceptable.

Deanna

[moma justice]

i agree, that i would have pulled my child out right away, if you can' trust them YOU CAN'T TRUST them....
and another thought, i don't think i would want my child to be the ONLY child in diapers in a class full of kids in underware,

kids know the difference, and they were all recently trained, adn MOSt parents tend to use terms like "don't be a baby, pee in the potty not your pants, etc" (not saying this is good, just saying this is hwo most young kids get trained)
and so i am sure your child would be the target of some kind of peer teasing or even just made uncomfortable...can you imagine being the only child not in underware adn up on the changing table with a bunch of poopy on your butt?

maybe the child would have come to you (op) or other people for a diaper change and would not have come to THIS teacher in THIS situation b/c she could sense that that would make her not fit in.
esp if added to all that peer stuff she could sense that the teacher was also judging her about it...kids can be very good at using their instincts, and maybe she did not make it known that she ahd the poopy butt for those reasons....
just some thoughts.

and i have been present in many different church nurseries where babies (and i mean babies) were not changed, even with the smell...
i finally started sniffing butts, IDing poop diapers, and taking said baby to workers and requesting they change their butts!

just another reason why i don't let my dd be cared for by strangers in group settings!

oh and OP, lara lou, your children are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the twins in the fairy wings with your son, i had to call my dh over to the computer just to get a look! so cute!

[lilyka]

Originally Posted by moma justice

kids know the difference, and they were all recently trained, adn MOSt parents tend to use terms like "don't be a baby, pee in the potty not your pants, etc" (not saying this is good, just saying this is hwo most young kids get trained)
and so i am sure your child would be the target of some kind of peer teasing or even just made uncomfortable...can you imagine being the only child not in underware adn up on the changing table with a bunch of poopy on your butt?

!

this is what I too was getting at. I have known 2-3 years who while having no intention of using a potty were still l embarrassed while pooping and wanted private or didn't want to be changed in front of others. I am not sure i there are legalities relating to this or not as far as reasonable expectation of privacy etc. . . I do know that while doing daycare once the kids hit 2 I make sure they are changed privately or at the very least semi privately.

and even more positively many parents say "wow what a great job of making it to the potty. you are such a big kid now. i mean even the pull up comercials exclaim "you're a big kid now" and "you're so smart! you're really getting it" kids pick up on that. I remember my d having a conversation with the little girl next door (who was near 4 when she potty trained) about "why do you still wear baby diapers?" her response was "because I like being a baby you silly" :LOL I think she was a higly intellegent girl and knowing the bribe would eventually get very good she held out and she did indeed score. She got a complete bitty baby set. Doll, cloths furniture, stroller, diaper bag, basket set. several hundred dollars worth of stuff. very smart kid :LOL but still would have been very embarassed to have her poopy butt wiped in front of her long potty trained younger friend.

[onlyzombiecat]

If I were the parent in this situation I would find somewhere else for my dd.
Whatever reason they weren't changing the child isn't good enough if it happened repeatedly.

[laralou]

Originally Posted by moma justice

oh and OP, lara lou, your children are beautiful!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the twins in the fairy wings with your son, i had to call my dh over to the computer just to get a look! so cute!

Thanks!!

[sweetangelbrynlie]

Man that is nasty, Id call DHS on them. Having any child sit in poop like that is abuse, let alone a little girl, little girls get UTIs all the time from poop like that.

[melissa17s]

I think she should try to talk to the school again. I found out something interesting about schools in my area and that is that they have different types of lisciensure that states whether or not they can change diapers. My ds went to a preschool before he was completely trained. They were totally willing to have him there, but they were very up front about not changing diapers. Even so, they did change him a couple of times when he had accidents, and they never pushed the potty training issue. It would be worth finding out how they are required to handle the situation from your state's/dhs perspective and if they are complying.