Help with MW Decision

[Gunter]

I have a MW and a MW apprentice. The MW apprentice has been seeing me as her primary, doing all my pre-natals, taught my birth class and water aerobics and came to my mother's blessing. She has attended 95 births and has 5 kids. She can be a bit absent-minded but is very empowering and compassionate. The MW has been at my pre-natals, except for one at my house. She has attended over 500 births and has 10 kids. She is profesional but not as "warm". They will both attend my birth.

Well, up till now they were both planning to attend my birth. We just found out that she (MW apprentice) will no longer be working with my MW. She will become certified some other way. We spoke for about an hour on the phone about this and I got a lfollow-up etter in the mail. I am 30 weeks along. I have another woman attending my birth as a friend who is a doula; she'll be at the birth regardless.

Want to help me make a decision? Hospital is not an option for me and not brave enough for unassisted, yet. Dh supports me in any choice. I have an appt. in a week/am 30 weeks along so need to decide soon.

Viable Options include:
1. Seeing my MW only.
2. Seeing the MW apprentice only.
3. Getting another HB MW (there is only one other in the area).
4. Going to the freestanding birthing center (heard good & bad but want a HB)
5. Asking MW apprentice to be my doula and seeing MW still. (could be ackward though?)

Help me weigh this decision?

[oetien]

If you're more comfortable with the apprentice, go with the second option! (the status shouldn't matter that much, right?)

[crsta33]

I think I might tell them both that I want both of them there like was planned from the beginning. Unless something bad happened between them, they should be able to both be there.

Good luck in whatever you decide.

Christa

[gratefulbambina]

I would go with what Christa said. You have an agreement with both of them. Also what about payment? Did you pay the original MW already? What would happen with that money?

[Gunter]

I think there has been a bit of a falling out between them...I am really not sure.

The payment stays the same if I go with the MW and she would try to get insurance to reimburse. If I go with the MW apprentice, we would set up a payment plan but she won't submit it to insurance. (Honestly, $$ is the least of my concern though.)

I just want to have confidence about the quality of care. We could pay the total out of pocket and be fine with it. We just really want a great HB. I don't want to feel nervous or not sure of what we are doing. I really want to make a good decision and soon!

I appreciate the things that you all are bringing up for me to consider!!!

[gonnabeamom]

Gunter,

. So sorry you are in this situation.

Some more things to mull:

Is this your first? How nervous are you feeling about birthing this baby?

Do you feel confident in the apprentices decisions?

How much emotional support do you need from your MW? Is that something your Doula can provide?

I think the suggestion of talking to one or both of them, possibly the apprentice first and saying "I was really counting on having both of you at the birth, please tell me why that's not possible" is entirely valid.

However if you really feel you need to make the choice, I would do something very calming, like take a long walk someplace beautiful or do a meditation, or take a really great bath, and then I would sit down and write or draw what I imagine my birth to be like with either of them there. I think this would help you get in touch with your intuition about the situation, and since how you feel with have a lot to do with how you birth, I think it's the best way to make a decision.

[spiritmomma]

Whatever is the least nervous...

Whether you choose to try and have them both there with you, IMO, should be based on whether you think having them both in the room will be a tension causing situation. ANY tension could slow your birthing process. I agree that you should try some meditation or intuitive practice to help you understand which option feels the most free of tension.

DO what makes you the MOST COMFORTABLE... It's YOUR birth experience!

So sorry you are having to think about this during your last weeks of pregnancy! You might also ask your baby what feels best... The answers may come in your dreams/ meditations, etc. That's how I got my baby's name! I asked the baby in my meditation and got answered in my dreams.

HTH

[flapjack]

I think, in your situation, I'd stick with the midwife. Again some of this is from a local perspective- my midwife is great, fantastic and I trust her with my life, unconditionally. BUT she's not going to be rubbing my back in labour, and it's not her job to empower me- that's for me, my family and my friends. For me, I'd feel uncomfortable with a midwife who wasn't able to detach enough to spot any problems as they happened.
Just my two-pennorth. Trust your gut instinct as well, but as you're probably never going to know the truth about why they parted company (both sides will probably tell different stories) I would stick to your original booking of the midwife that you hired.

[Gunter]

Thanks for all the advice, ladies.

Helen, what you wrote really spoke to me. It's not something that I had considered but it makes a lot of sense. Dh agrees. I am keeping my pre-natal appt. with her this Saturday. We need to talk with her, too as we have already talked with the apprentice. Then, we'll make a decision. I am keeping everyone in the loop...MW, apprentice and our doula friend who is attending regardless.

[Defenestrator]

Hi --

I am a midwife whose apprenticeship was cut short by the shut-down of the midwifery practice I was working with. I worked fairly independently within the practice for a while, doing prenatals and postnatals on my own and managing portions of births on my own. Instead of seeking another apprenticeship, I have asked some local midwives to be available to me for consults and to assist me at my births. I now take my own clients.

Perhaps you could ask the apprentice if she might be able to hire the other local midwife to be an assistant at your birth? In my area, some of the midwives are willing to help this way and I just pay them out of my fees. It costs more than a skilled apprentice would, but not so much that I don't feel well compensated for my time.

Good luck!

[Emilie]

Good luck to you!
We just moved to the area- and have seen our mw 3 times- and she has an apprentice with her- who I feel SO comfortable with! I am so bummed she is leaving next week and not going to be there!!! I hate it! I feel comfortable with mw- but it is nice to have Sarah around- she is my age- and I just think she rocks.
I hope you feel comfortable with whatever decision you come to!
Emilie