It's time for me to start thinking about school...

[Fi.]

which is terrifying .

I'm putting her into a preschool program (a local high school teaches childhood development via running a preschool and its free for parents) soon which has made me realize it's almost time for real school!

But I don't know what to do. Despite us not being Catholic I was just thinking of putting her into a Catholic school for the educational advantages over public.

But I want to do supplemental homelearning as well I think and I don't know how to go about that. I thought about homeschooling, but I don't know any other moms (most look down on me because of my age, several won't let their children play with mine) and I want her to socialize with other kids.

I could use tips/advice/etc on supplemental homelearning though

[Dar]

You'd probably have better luck posting on the Learning at School board, really (maybe it should be called Learning at School and Beyond )... I mean, most good parents do "supplemental learning activities" with their kids, whether they call them by that term or not. Reading to kids, going cool places, playing games, answering questions... it's all about learning. This board is for homeschoolers... although if you do want to homeschool, we could help you out with the socialization thing!

Dar

[Fi.]

Well that's kind of what I'm leaning towards. Like I said, I don't even know where to begin. If I could find outlets for my kids to get the socialisation I'd be all for homeschooling, as it is I have no idea where to do that.

At the very least I want to do real homeschool activities even if I end up not going that route.

I should have been more clear, I apologise.

[marilynmama]

How can your children NOT get socialization I guess is what my first question would be? Unless you stay at home all day and never leave they are going to meet people and kids.

I have two girls, ages 3 and 7 and I don't have to do anything special for them to meet other kids, they are not even involed with any sports, etc at this point (I just can't afford it). Kids are everywhere! My kids have tons of friends where we live, storytime at the library, parks, the zoo, etc They also spend a lot of time with adults.

Just wanted to let you know the socilization thing is really no big deal. But I think it is a fear a lot of people have.

[UlrikeDG]

Clubs, sports, classes (ballet, tae kwon do, etc), homeschool support groups, church groups, etc. And, don't forget volunteer opportunities at places like nursing homes and animal shelters, and just plain living life (grocery shopping, etc) for interacting with people in other age groups.

[**guest**]

socialisation with peers is overrated as it is -- a good book to read is Hold on to Your Kids by Gordon Neufeld. he actually talks about negative effects of peer orientation. another essential book to read is How Children Learn by John Holt. this would be a good starting point.

also, you might feel that the only way to make sure they get good education is to have a structured school at home and imitate what is done in the schools, only do it 'better' -- more academics, and what not. this is not necessarily the case, it is only one of the options.

homeschooled children normally get a wider range of people and ages to socialise with. this is what is really important do a developing individual.

as someone said -- 'yes, we make sure our homeschooled child is well socialised. once a week we corner her, take all her money away, beat her up, and call her names'. this is often the reality of school-based socialisation.

you still have lots of time to learn about homeschooling and all the different philosophies involved.

unless you have to go to work, and need the free preschool, i would be really weary of a free preschool that is there for learning purposes of highschooled kids.

you will get overzealous teachers who will likely patronise the parents, act superior, and try to find all kind of problems with the children and with your parenting. just my gut feeling, based on my experiences of free drop-in programs around here.

[RiverSky]

Originally Posted by Fi.

Despite us not being Catholic I was just thinking of putting her into a Catholic school for the educational advantages over public.

I might get flamed here, but my DH is what he calls "a recovering Catholic" due to being beaten by nuns in Catholic school.

I guess I'm not sold on whether Catholic school would give a better education than PS...well, truth be told I'm positive that neither do that great a job, but heck, I'm biased.

If you are looking for socialization for your child, regardless of your age, perhaps you should check out a MOMS Club or some such thing... http://www.momsclub.org . If you have any free parenting magazines in your area, then you should find some listings for similar clubs in your area as well.

Good luck!

[Lillian J]

Originally Posted by Fi.

If I could find outlets for my kids to get the socialisation I'd be all for homeschooling, as it is I have no idea where to do that.

There might be lots of homeschoolers in your area, which, of course, is only one source for social interraction. You can look for them in these web pages:

http://www.homeedmag.com/wlcm_groups.html

http://www.nhen.org/support/groups/browse.asp

http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/...ks/support.htm

http://www.midnightbeach.com/hs/listlist.html

And you can go to the Yahoogroups.com website and look for Pennsylvania homeschooling email groups. You might be surprised. And they can find friends of all ages in community sports, among the neighbors, clubs and organizations, and many other places.

The word "socialization," by the way, can have some negative connotations among homeschoolers - because it can imply putting children into a mold. Lillian

[Lillian J]

I forgot to add that for kids in school there's not so much need for supplemental academic learning as there is for supplemental PLAY. They need their spare time to play, daydream, hang out with family, be read to, etc... If they live in a rich learning environment with parents who display a curiosity and love of learning, they'll be just fine with a school "education," but not, in my own opinion, as enthusiastic about life long learning as homeschoolers who have more time and freedom away from school structure. Lillian

[Openskyheart]

I'm sorry people look down on you for being a young mom, Fi. That sucks. But it shouldn't hold you back from doing what you really want to do. If you are a homeschooler at heart, school will feel alien to you. That's been my experience, anyway.

There's another young mom on this board - UnschoolnMa is her username. If you open a new topic with her name in it, and ask her about her experiences, and any advice she might have, I have a good feeling she'd be a wealth of information, and of help to you.

(Hope you don't mind me volunteering your services, UnschoolnMa! ).

Laura

[Fi.]

I guess I'm not sold on whether Catholic school would give a better education than PS

Well from my expirience in both, I actually learned a lot more at the Catholic school. They aren't like they were 20 years ago either -- all lay teachers who don't get paid much. If they're teaching there it's cause they care about the students not the money, whereas the public school teachers were making 45-55K a year and didn't care about any of us. So if I choose 'traditional' schooling, it would definitely be the ones I went to as a child. In 11th grade at public school we were doing the work I did in 7th at Catholic.

Unless you stay at home all day and never leave they are going to meet people and kids.

We are at home quite a bit actually. My daughter has no child friends. She goes to a kids gym (Tumbletown) twice a week for 2 hours but that's about it. When we go to the park, other parents just happen to be taking their children and leaving. There aren't any children her age that are allowed to play with her in our area. We had neighbours with children but they saw me nursing once and were incredibly cold until we moved. They kept their children as far away from ours as they could, most families do that.

That's why I'm worried. I would really like to explore all my options before making a choice so I figured I'd start now (she'll be 4 in January). Homeschooling is definitely on the table and is something I'd like to look more into. But I really don't feel like, in our current situation, she can make any kind of friends. We don't live in the most openminded area. It's mostly middle class and upper middle class "nuclear families" and college students. They don't like us, to put it mildly. Heard someone gossiping once about how we probably used our welfare checks to buy our furniture (we have this couch and chair set) and it's really horrible. Moving isn't really an option right now, the place itself is great -- my children never hear these people thankfully, because they're nice as pie when the kids are around. My partners never heard it either, I guess because he looks a bit more intimidating than I do (if only they knew I played American football in highschool ).

I've tried meeting up with other moms online for playgroups and whatnot and then they find out my age and magically the emails back and forth stop. Fancy that!

As for the preschool, I know someone voiced concern about it -- I did a similar program in high school and it was wonderful for the kids simply because the only students participating were ones that wanted to work with children. They were some of the nicest people I've ever met. And they allow observation so you bet I'll be watching to make sure all is okay. For now, until I can meet some more open minded moms or get into some groups, this is the only way she's going to be in an enviroment with other children where the parents won't take them away as soon as they realize I'm not the babysitter -- and that really sucks, I know but I'm at a loss as for what to do about it. I take suggestions

[OTMomma]

Fi I'm sorry your situation is so hard. I wish we lived close- I'd let my 3 year old have play dates with your dc. It sounds like you are a really caring mom who is looking for the best decisions you can make for your child. Just keep reading and looking for ideas.
Maybe you can post in your tribal area here to meet a nice mom?

Peace,
Laura