UNdiapering for the 21st century!

[flowmom]

Before ds was born, I always wondered how tribal women cared for their babies without diapers. Then I found out about Elimination Communication/Infant Potty Training/Natural Infant Hygiene. These are just fancy names for learning when your baby has to pee or poop, and helping them to "go" in a potty or other place rather than in the diaper. It doesn't really involve training of the parents or the baby - it's more like breastfeeding where there is two-way communication and you learn your baby's signals and respond to them promptly.

We found it to be a wonderful way of bonding with our baby, and understanding what was going on with him better. Babies often fuss when they have to go, and we were able to figure out why he was having episodes of fussiness even when he was fed, rested, and in a clean diaper. We were pretty relaxed about it, and used cloth diaper back-ups for quite a while so that "misses" wouldn't land on us while we were babywearing. And of course it was great to completely ditch the diapers at 18 mo.

It's great that some Expecting in May mamas are planning to try this! I want all mothers-to-be to know about this so that they can decide for themselves if it would work for their family. I've noticed that some articles make it sound like you can't use diapers at all when practicing Elimination Communication - but actually most families doing EC use diapers or training pants at least part of the time. Lots of mamas are able to practice EC even with older children running around too. The cool thing about EC is that it still provides a lot of benefits even if you don't do it "perfectly".

Here are some sites that have lots of EC info:
Frequently Asked Questions about EC
Infant Potty Training
Getting Started with EC
Frequently Asked Questions about Natural Infant Hygiene

And if you decide to try this, a support group is a must:
Mothering's EC bulletin board
Natural Infant Hygiene for Newbies Yahoogroup
Elimination Communication Yahoogroup - I'm a mod there...super group but high volume
DiaperFreeBaby

I am excited about ECing our second baby! Just thought I'd share. Happy Pottying!

[eorr]

Thanks for posting this! I've read a bunch about ec & hope to meet with my local Diaper-free group sometime in the next few months. I'd love to do it (& show up all those who've told me it's a pipe-dream!) I'm sure I'll be coming to you with questions over the years. . . :LOL

[ksmommy]

thank you for posting this. I come from a country where the moms where still making diapers out of cotton sheets and boil them in chlorine until about 10 years ago. I was on the potty at 6 months. I am truley enjoying having diapers with my children, it's a luxury my mother never had, so for that I say GO DIAPERS!!!!
I am sure it works for others, but it's not worth it for me to have my infants potty trained unless they are ready!
Thanx for the info, though!

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by eorr

I'd love to do it (& show up all those who've told me it's a pipe-dream!)

Well, I decided to be a home-birthing, breastfeeding, babywearing, cosleeping, ECing freak before my baby was born and it has all worked out fabulously for us. Most mainstream parents simply close their minds to other ways of caring for babies, but raising a couple of kids certainly doesn't make them experts! You are the mama and you get to decide how to look after your baby. Have fun with it!

Originally Posted by ksmommy

I am truley enjoying having diapers with my children, it's a luxury my mother never had, so for that I say GO DIAPERS!!!!

I hear ya Cristina, it is a luxury to be able to choose, isn't it? And I love to have the option of using diapers as well, in conjunction with EC.

Originally Posted by ksmommy

I am sure it works for others, but it's not worth it for me to have my infants potty trained unless they are ready!

Ah yes, the readiness issue - I'd like to explore that a bit. Conventional wisdom has it that children are not "ready" to start potty training until they are two or three. This concept has been heavily promoted by medical leaders such as Dr. Berry Brazelton, consultant to Pampers, who contends that your toddler may not be ready to master toilet training until as late as the end of her fourth year. Of course, there are huge commercial interests in the promotion of diapering. EC experts, on the other hand, believe that babies do not need to be trained, they actually expect us to respond to their elimination signals from birth and gradually learn to take a more active role in their pottying as they develop. From an ECing perspective, conventional toilet training happens relatively late because babies become "diaper trained" and can take a while to regain the awareness of their own bodies that they have lost. Some psychologists are starting to warn that the later potty training begins, the harder it is on you and your child, after seeing an increase in retained bowel syndrome among children who are potty trained later.

Anyway, I'm not trying to be controversial, I just want to pass on that info for moms who may not know about EC...

[miziki]

...the real question is: are YOU ready?

Originally Posted by ksmommy

I am sure it works for others, but it's not worth it for me to have my infants potty trained unless they are ready!

Whoa, ksmommy! "Trained unless they are ready" --> that's all a matter of perspective. Because whether or not you want to admit it, your infant *is* signalling to you - your infant *is* ready - it's just a matter of "are YOU ready?"

Just as your infant *is* ready/does tell you that she's hungry (rooting for breast, sucking hands, and when really hungry, crying!), she's also ready/ *does* signal to you that she has to go to the bathroom. From BIRTH - babies are born with these instincts to tell us about their hunger, their elimination, their needs. That's what AP is all about, right? Listening to your baby. And aren't babies freakin' AMAZING? Especially if we give them credit for ALL of the things they can communicate to us if we are ready to hear them?

Like you, I didn't believe my baby was ready - and finally, at 8 mos old, I thought "what the heck, I'll just try it - sounds crazy, but I'll try it." I was ready to try. So I really listened. I felt clumsy. But you know what? EC has been such a wonderful blessing for our family. We've been an amazing pottying team ever since. We've *never* looked back. I just feel bad for not being ready sooner! (Needless to say, w/ #2 due in Jan, we're ready and so excited to EC from birth, choosing to use diapers as backups as needed.)

So... I guess the "readiness" question is more of this: when are you, as a parent, ready to learn their elimination signals and respond accordingly?

-M

[ksmommy]

to me it sounds a little too much to get my infant to potty that early. I might not be ready for them to do it and that's fine. I just don't think is something I want to put my energy in when the diapers worked jsut fine for me. Why kill a good thing? :LOL :LOL Good luck to all who are doing EC.

[Taedareth]

Visiting from December...

We are tenatively excited about doing EC, and we've decided to use cloth diapers for backups (in the car, at night in our bed, when the baby sits in grandpa's lap... :LOL ). But having already dealt with the barrage of questions from mainstream friends and family about our "bizarre" plans to home birth, co-sleep, not have a crib and nursery, sling-carry instead of using a stroller etc., we've decided to keep EC a secret! I know it's cowardly but since I've never talked to anyone in RL who has tried and succeeded with EC and I have no experience with it myself, I'm a little nervous about whether I'll be able to do it. (Not worried about the baby's ability to signal, just about my ability to notice and get him/her to the sink in time!)

So for those of you who have enjoyed success with EC, how on earth did you explain it to your families? Did it make believers out of them?

[alexisyael]

I'm one of the May mommies interested in EC I'm fairly sure we'll be using cloth as a backup, and I'll give myself a lot of slack in the beginning if it doesn't start off easy from the beginning, but I really LOVE the philosophy of EC. Since I first started reading about it, I've noticed that I can tell when *other people's babies* need to poo. (This is easily verified by smell.)

I'm also keeping fairly mum about my desire to EC... I keep fairly quiet about the fact that I use cloth toliet "paper," too. It just doesn't come up that much in real life conversation! :LOL

That said, I'm a happy hippie-ish freak, so it's not like I won't tell people if they show the slightest bit of interest... but yeah, normally I just keep it to myself

Also, I'm starting to get a little cloth diaper-happy, cause my gosh, some of those dipes are cute, aren't they? (Haven't bought any yet -- don't want to jinx myself.) This seems odd for someone who'd rather EC, but I guess it'll keep the dipes cuter longer, maybe

[LBW]

I used disposable dipes with DS and am so excited about using cloth for this baby. Maybe next time I'll consider EC (but I really, really want some cute cloth!). Thanks for posting the information -- it's really interesting.

[Naughty Dingo]

Ksenia, that's cool. I make a zine and for one of the issues we had an essay by a Mama that did elimination communication. Really cool. It must be going more mainstream because even my mom who is clueless about most things :LOL told me this weekend about this "New thing". It was EC!

Right on Mama

ND

[trmpetplaya]

I'm from the November 2005 due date club and there are several of us who are looking forward to doing EC as well!!!

My step-MIL really wanted to get us a diaper service so we'll be using cloth prefolds as backup and I talked her down to only three months as opposed to a whole year like she wanted to give us. She'd be willing to extend it if we want her to also so this will give us some flexibility

Way to spread the word

love and peace.

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by Taedareth

We are tenatively excited about doing EC, and we've decided to use cloth diapers for backups

No harm in that - the important thing is to communicate with your baby and maintain awareness about his/her elimination and keep him/her clean and dry at all times!

Originally Posted by Taedareth

we've decided to keep EC a secret!

I don't blame you. It's a practice that really challenges people's assumptions about babies and it's easier to stand up for yourself once you have some experience under your belt. Really, it's no one's business how you care for your baby (except the papa's) - you are the mama!

Originally Posted by Taedareth

So for those of you who have enjoyed success with EC, how on earth did you explain it to your families? Did it make believers out of them?

Sometimes I just said things like, "oh, I'm going to see if he'll pee so I can save a diaper" - that's something that people can relate to. But really, I don't see it as my job to make other people comfortable with my parenting choices. Coming to terms with my parenting choices is really other people's problem - if they want information I will happily share it with them of course . Everyone though that EC was a great idea once ds was out of diapers at 18 mo and not obviously scarred for life .

Originally Posted by alexisyael

Since I first started reading about it, I've noticed that I can tell when *other people's babies* need to poo.

Neat! It's all about awareness and a bit of intuition.

Originally Posted by alexisyael

I keep fairly quiet about the fact that I use cloth toliet "paper," too.

Good for you!

Originally Posted by alexisyael

This seems odd for someone who'd rather EC, but I guess it'll keep the dipes cuter longer, maybe

Yes, that's true. Actually, there are lots of CD addicts in the EC community, but ECers often have different preferences for diapers/training pants. There are very cute diapers and training pants made just for EC, for example the ones at the EC Store.

Originally Posted by Naughty Dingo

It must be going more mainstream because even my mom who is clueless about most things :LOL told me this weekend about this "New thing". It was EC!

It's incredible how much mainstream press coverage about EC is happening these days. Yet Mothering magazine still hasn't featured it... :

Originally Posted by trmpetplaya

My step-MIL really wanted to get us a diaper service so we'll be using cloth prefolds as backup and I talked her down to only three months as opposed to a whole year like she wanted to give us.

That's perfect because you may want to be using more specialized diapers or training pants later. But prefolds are great in the early days because ECers often use more diapers at first because they change after every wet. Some mamas love using fleece prefold belts with prefolds to keep the prefold up without having to use a diaper cover so that you can easily tell when the baby is wet. They are super easy to make obviously!

Way to go ECing mamas to be !

[alexisyael]

Ksenia, have you thought about writing an article and submitting it for Mothering? I think you'd do a GREAT job!

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by alexisyael

Ksenia, have you thought about writing an article and submitting it for Mothering? I think you'd do a GREAT job!

Thanks alexisyael, but I think that Mothering has made an editorial decision to not feature EC...from what I understand several excellent articles have been submitted, but not published. Readers of Mothering are more likely to learn about EC from their local newspaper than from the mag...

[eorr]

So, I think that this is an interesting point to consider regarding EC or not. . .

I work at a VA hospital, and have just finished required certifications in many topics - one of which is Patient Abuse. One form of abuse listed was "allowing the patient to remain sitting in their urine/feces. . ."

I think it's interesting that within our society we consider that practice totally fine for 0-3 yr olds, but "abuse" for adults. I'm sure it has something to do with the individual's problem with it (most children don't cite mental or emotional abuse from being left in a dirty diaper for a period of time, while adults are much more sensitive to that situation for themselves), but I think it's worthwhile to ponder. Besides, if children could verbalize it, my guess is that most (not all!) would prefer a clean bum! (at least until they got used to the feel of the dirty one. . .)

Anyway, I'm enjoying the conversation. . . thanks Ksenia!

[susannella]

I considered ec'ing with Ella, and we got the potty, and occassionally put her on it. I'll tell you that it takes a bit more committment than that!

I was green with envy the other day when hanging out with a mom of a girl Ella's age who has not changed a poopy diaper in four months! And she was a 'late' starter at 6 months or so!

We'll certainly give it a bit more effort this time around. I like that it doesn't have to be an all-or-nothing thing.

[trmpetplaya]

How I talk about it:

Telling the family... We haven't told my in-laws' but I have definitely told my Mother. She said that she wishes she'd known about it when she had babies

I tell everyone also (except my in-laws ) and so far have converted every woman in my office, a couple gals who work at the local grocery store - who want children someday, and anyone else who has bothered to listen once the initial shock wears off

I've found that the best way to start talking about it is to be honest. I say something like, "this sounds absolutely crazy and I thought it was the nuttiest thing I'd ever heard till I researched it, but it really makes sense!" I don't even mention the no-diapers or early potty training bit (since both are a tiny bit misleading given the cultural context...) until after I prepare people for the shock of their lives :LOL The fact that I once thought it was crazy (cultural conditioning, what can I say?) and the fact that it was so crazy I had to research it quite a bit helps others to accept that, WOW, it might actually work!

One of my co-workers thinks EC is less crazy than CDing She was appalled when (before I knew of EC) I told her I was going to use cloth dipes. Now she thinks I'm a bit on the fringe, but is no longer appalled!

People are receptive to hearing about EC as long as they are prepared I haven't had one failure yet though I'm really not comfortable telling my in-laws and dh agrees with me about that... they live close by so they'll find out eventually, but not before they do!

love and peace.

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by susannella

I considered ec'ing with Ella, and we got the potty, and occassionally put her on it. I'll tell you that it takes a bit more committment than that!

I hear ya Susanne. I found that being part of an online support group really helped me to keep my motivation up. But I was really pretty relaxed about it, not neurotically hovering to catch the next pee or anything .

Originally Posted by susannella

I was green with envy the other day when hanging out with a mom of a girl Ella's age who has not changed a poopy diaper in four months!

It's quite typical that poops are easier to "catch" than pees with EC. And of course it's different for all babies - at 1 yo ds was in a "potty pause" so we weren't catching many and relying on the diapers most of the time. But the communication was great and I learned so much through the process that it was still worth it to me.

: to Ella by the way! Did you know that you could still start EC with her? There are lots of late starters on the Elimination Communication Yahoogroup, and there is also a late starters support group. Some parents get really good results even starting at one year or later! There's an excellent article that explains how to start with late starters.

[KellyandKatie]

Love Ec

We love EC! So glad to see this here! We love our cloth diapers too, I wish I had learned about EC sooner with DD, we started late, but since we did cloth, and she was 10 months, we did great, and she has had independance for months now. I have to hold back my huge grin when people ask me when I might start potty training and try not to scream yeah right. We are lucky to have EC meetings here on the island that I invite everyone to!
I was telling DH I had ordered a new wool diaper for our baby, and he said " what about EC?" I was shocked becuase while he is so proud of DD, he really gripped a lot in the begining, so I guess he is right behind us for this one. So much so, that now that we are househunting he is trying to pick an EC freindly house. yeah!

[flowmom]

Originally Posted by KellyandKatie

I was telling DH I had ordered a new wool diaper for our baby, and he said " what about EC?" I was shocked becuase while he is so proud of DD, he really gripped a lot in the begining, so I guess he is right behind us for this one.

Yeah, papas are often pretty sceptical about EC - usually because they don't do any research about it themselves. But once they see - they usually believe! I have never heard of a dh being down on the idea of ECing the second time around! My dh is always babbling about EC to anyone who will listen .