Ds shy at preschool, will he ever socialize with the other kids?

[squeakermansmom]

My ds is 3 and a half and started preschool (2 days a week) for the first time 2 weeks ago. He really seems to love his teacher. And the three hours he spends there is filled with crafts, music and reading. He really seems to be enjoying it and i'm thrilled. i thought the transition would be harder....but surprisingly he is willing to say 'bye dad' each morning. with a little encouragment, of course. here's my big concern....when we went last week for his 'open house' we had a chance to watch ds on the playground (they go outside each day for 30 min). he was sitting right by the teacher, he didn't play the whole time we we're there, he just sat on the chair next to the teacher. it was so sad. my ds is a very sweet boy, but is a bit shy. he had a close friend that he played well with, but he moved away last year. the main reason i put him in preschool was so that he could play with other kids. he doesn't have any siblings and no cousins or other kids that he sees regularly. we used to go to playgroup every week but he would always just stay by my side. which is why i thought preschool would be a good idea. without mommy there, he would have to play with the other kids. now i'm thinking, maybe not. it's only been 2 weeks but it was so sad to see him all by himself. anyone else experience this with their dc???? did it get better????

[2GR8KIDS]

It sounds like it was really hard for you to watch your son at the open house. I wouldn't be too discouraged, though. It sounds like he enjoys preschool. Most kids at your son's age are only beginning to transition from parallel playing (where they are each doing their own thing) to playing together. If your son hasn't been around kids a lot before and has a somewhat shy personality, it may take him a bit longer. Also, it may look to you like he is just sitting there, but he may be studying how the other kids interact so he can learn how to do it. He may be a "slow to warm" child who likes to really understand the dynamic before he gets involved.

My almost-6-year-old ds is now super-social, has lots of friends, and loves being around other kids. But when he was just starting in preschool, he pretty much did his own thing and didn't play "with" other kids until he was closer to 4 years old. I have to remind myself of this because my 2-year-old dd is also reluctant to engage with other kids and seems to like to observe things for a long time (like many months!) before joining in.

So, your son might "grow out of it" and become a social butterfly with lots of friends, Or maybe he will be perfectly content to spend time alone and will have a few close friends down the road. Either way, if he's happy, that's what's important.

You could always talk to the teacher and see what she has to say.

[Itlbokay]

My youngest DS, when he was four, was in a preschool class filled with children he had know very well for several years. He preferred to stick around the teachers and didn't really want to "socialize" with the other kids too much. By the end of the year he finally started to but, I seriously think that was due to the fact that he knew the year was almost over, the relief of which opened him up a bit. Like your child, he also never put up a fuss when saying goodbye. He would bravely hug me goodbye (sometimes a little teary) and then enter his classroom.

It does get better. Although my youngest may never be a gregarious, overly outgoing kid and may always "dip his toes in the water" before jumping in (so to speak) that's alright. He is a well adjusted, well liked child who knows what he can handle when, and acts in a way that is comfortable for him.