I'm sort of in the same place as the OP right now. We want 4 kids, but had planned on waiting a while for the other 2. I just started going back to school, getting out a bit, feeling like someone other than a mom for once, and I'm 10 weeks pregnant!
I had finally figured out a timeline of plans (I'm anally organized), and liked that I got a little break for me time - not nursing around the clock, able to leave kiddos for a little while...etc...
Now it feels like all my plans are down the drain, and I'm not sure how to incorporate new plans - school, moving, building our home, doula stuff, etc. I know it just means I'm 2 years set back from where I am now, but in the meantime I'm lost, and terrified of 3 teeny tiny kiddos! Plus I don't want the 4th child to be years and years younger than the others, so there's that to think of too. I dwell easily.
I'm happy for the baby and all, excited. But this isn't what I planned, expected and the idea and adjustment for me is hard right now. I planned to have our new home built before more kids, and having my next babies in our jaccusi tub in our new house - not the fishy pool that s/he will be born in.
Getting 3 kiddos out of the car scares me cause I have back problems. Costs scare me. Getting zero sleep scares me. Doing 5 million loads of diapers if Austin won't potty learn, scares me. Keeping the house clean, laundry, dishes, food, my sanity - terrifying. Nevermind going out in public, or to kids programs. I feel overwhelmed.
Everyone I've talked to with 3 kids, says I'm worrying too much and that it's not that bad. Most say 1 to 2 kids was the harder transition. I think I'm a worry wart, and need to stop planning so much.
I've discovered that the way to keep me from worrying, is thinking about snuggling/nursing a teeny tiny newborn again.
I can just picture it and I feel better. I know it'll all work out, I just need to remember that when I get all paranoid.
Adjusting to the idea is hard, especially when you have 9 months to worry & wonder 'what if'. I grew up in a family of 3 and loved it. My DH was oldest of 6. I think 3 is a great number, I'm not even sure why I want 4 kids, DH wants 3.
It'll all be fine, it's just scary to think about until you're actually 'there'.
You'll be a great mama of 3. It really helps to just vent your worries to other moms who understand. I feel like if I talk like this to my family/inlaws - that they'll think less of me for being nervous. But here, I feel like my fears are acknowledged and that I'll be ok. Hopefully you feel better after all these great mamas gave you words of wisdom. I feel better reading it!