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PLease tell me why 3 kids is "better" than 2... - Page 2

post #21 of 32
I was soooo apprehensive about #3 when I found out (keep in mind, only a week before I had come "out" to my husband, and asked for a divorce!) I just can't even imaging life with out her. It is hectic. Logically 2 make sense- two hands, two parents, two this, two that...but just believe- you won't ever be sorry.
post #22 of 32
Quote:
3 IS better than 2, way way better. I always say "have 1 or three or more." never 2!!
I totally agree.


Quote:
a 3rd child dillutes tension between the first 2. It dillutes competition. It will stop parents/ grandparents/ relative/ friends from constantly comparing the 2. "So and so is the quiet one, so and so is the noisy one." Nonsense like that.
Again, totally agree.

Quote:
You can have a party without inviting anyone.
So true!
post #23 of 32
Thread Starter 
You Moms of 3 (and more) are GREAT!!!
I'm getting more and more excited about this whole new little surprise!

I haven't updated my signature line yet, but I feel like I'm really starting to embrace this pregnancy!

Keep it coming if you've got anymore comments, thoughts, stories,... Maybe 3 was my "perfect" number all along and I didn't even know it!
post #24 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparklemom
I totally agree.




Again, totally agree.



So true!
Oh, I have to agree too! Not really thinking party, and my third isn't old enough to really interact and play with my other two, but if I don't want to go out that day or do playdates, etc, all my kids can play with eachother and it is like a little playgroup in itself! I really would like to live a little more rural and having three really kind of gives me the push I need. I am not too worried about them being too isolated because they will have eachother.
post #25 of 32
...also as a third child there are so many more people to love you!

When dd starts listing all the people she loves there are 4 of us before she even starts on Nanny and Grandad and all her friends.

She is learning so much from the boys, when she was smaller she hardly needed toys because they provided a 24/7 live show for her! I'm sure she will never know 'bored'.
post #26 of 32
I don't really have any advice or anything new to add since I just have two and hopefully it will stay that way. But I just want to say congratulations and that everything happens for a reason and things always have a way or working out. You were just meant to have three!
post #27 of 32
Just wanted to thank you for starting this thread.
post #28 of 32
I'm sort of in the same place as the OP right now. We want 4 kids, but had planned on waiting a while for the other 2. I just started going back to school, getting out a bit, feeling like someone other than a mom for once, and I'm 10 weeks pregnant!

I had finally figured out a timeline of plans (I'm anally organized), and liked that I got a little break for me time - not nursing around the clock, able to leave kiddos for a little while...etc...

Now it feels like all my plans are down the drain, and I'm not sure how to incorporate new plans - school, moving, building our home, doula stuff, etc. I know it just means I'm 2 years set back from where I am now, but in the meantime I'm lost, and terrified of 3 teeny tiny kiddos! Plus I don't want the 4th child to be years and years younger than the others, so there's that to think of too. I dwell easily.

I'm happy for the baby and all, excited. But this isn't what I planned, expected and the idea and adjustment for me is hard right now. I planned to have our new home built before more kids, and having my next babies in our jaccusi tub in our new house - not the fishy pool that s/he will be born in.

Getting 3 kiddos out of the car scares me cause I have back problems. Costs scare me. Getting zero sleep scares me. Doing 5 million loads of diapers if Austin won't potty learn, scares me. Keeping the house clean, laundry, dishes, food, my sanity - terrifying. Nevermind going out in public, or to kids programs. I feel overwhelmed.

Everyone I've talked to with 3 kids, says I'm worrying too much and that it's not that bad. Most say 1 to 2 kids was the harder transition. I think I'm a worry wart, and need to stop planning so much.

I've discovered that the way to keep me from worrying, is thinking about snuggling/nursing a teeny tiny newborn again. I can just picture it and I feel better. I know it'll all work out, I just need to remember that when I get all paranoid.

Adjusting to the idea is hard, especially when you have 9 months to worry & wonder 'what if'. I grew up in a family of 3 and loved it. My DH was oldest of 6. I think 3 is a great number, I'm not even sure why I want 4 kids, DH wants 3. It'll all be fine, it's just scary to think about until you're actually 'there'.

You'll be a great mama of 3. It really helps to just vent your worries to other moms who understand. I feel like if I talk like this to my family/inlaws - that they'll think less of me for being nervous. But here, I feel like my fears are acknowledged and that I'll be ok. Hopefully you feel better after all these great mamas gave you words of wisdom. I feel better reading it!

s
post #29 of 32
BurnsideMommy, it will be OK. Honest. I think the fact that your other two kids are so young will actually work out better in the long run.

I love my kids and honestly thought that two at were 15 months apart were a lot of work, but I am finding the age difference between ds and dd's to be hard to balance. The girls are just getting into "big girl" stuff like sports and school. Their emotional needs are changing and they need dh and I in a different way than ds needs us. I'm used to the needs of a baby, but the need of growing girls are somewhat challenging. I didn't expect it to be so hard to raise a 6 and 7 yo, and a 1 yo. It's hard to juggle the emotional needs of these kids. I was not prepared for that at all.

Yes, it's a lot of work. Yes, you have to put your wants and desires on the back burner. Yes, it's another few years before you get some time to yourself. In the grand plan all that really matters is that your family is happy and healthy. Do you think you would have gone for the third if you had a taste of your own independance? I often ask myself that question. That was our dilema. We were just getting our lives back. I don't think I could have lived with the "what if we hadn't waited" question that would have been going through my mind had we not had our third. It would haunt me. I would have missed out on my son. My dd's would have missed out on knowing a younger sibbling. It was different for us because we planned to concieve ds, but it was a hard decision to make.

I don't think I would have gone back to being a mom of a small child had I accomplished career goals for myself before having him. I think I would have stuck with my two lovely girls and always questioned what our son would have been like had we taken that route. I'm really glad we had our third now.

I have a friend who wants four kids. She just gave birth to her first last week. She said she wants the first two close and then a couple of years between the last two. I honestly think that if she waits to have her third that she will stop at two.
post #30 of 32
I grew up at family with three and two step-brothers children. I have a lot of friends who is the one in the family. I think it's awuful. I should say that all the numbers are good!!! Anyway it;s your choise and the only request please not one.
post #31 of 32
I have 2 now and an "accident" is highly unlikely but I can so relate to the OP. My heart wants 3 kids, but my mind says 2. It's nice to know if we ever do go for 3 it will be ok.
post #32 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Eman'smom
I have 2 now and an "accident" is highly unlikely but I can so relate to the OP. My heart wants 3 kids, but my mind says 2. It's nice to know if we ever do go for 3 it will be ok.
What a good way to say this. You've really summarized my feelings lately about wanting a third child. Thank you.
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