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My FIL died today.  

post #1 of 8
9/23/05 at 4:33pm
Thread Starter 
My FIL died today and I don't know how to support my dh. One of the police officers dh works with came to our door this afternoon to notify us that dh's father died of a gunshot wound at a shooting range today. He didn't have any more details than that. He took dh to break the news to his mother

I have been extremely fortunate to have never lost anyone very close to me. I have no idea how to support dh or what to say to my 2 1/2 yr old ds who barely knew his grandfather. I so desperately want to take my dh's pain away! I can't imagine the devestation of losing your father and having to be the one to tell your mother.

I know dh needs to grieve. I don't want to say the wrong things. What can I do?
post #2 of 8
9/23/05 at 9:36pm
Sending you & yours love & strength Mama. I am so sorry for your Families loss.

post #3 of 8
9/24/05 at 12:08am
I am so sorry to hear of this terrible loss your family has suffered. Support your husband the same way you would hope he would support you in such a situation. Listen, give space but remain on call for close shoulder crying, and be supportive.

My condolences, mama.

post #4 of 8
9/24/05 at 1:11am
I'm so sorry for your loss.
post #5 of 8
9/26/05 at 3:42pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you. It is so painful but we are finding our way through this.
post #6 of 8
9/26/05 at 3:54pm
I am sorry for you loss!
post #7 of 8
9/26/05 at 5:09pm


how awful! it's simply so horrible and shocking when an officer comes knocking on your door. at least it was someone he works with that could break the news to him and not a starnger.

I am so sorry. I don't know what to suggest other than just being there for your DH (obviously you already are)

don't be afraid at all of saying the "wrong" things at all. there's nothing worse than someone avoiding talking about someone (or the situation that led to their death) because they died. he may have died physically but he is still around your family in spirit/energy. the only way you can keep him alive in spirit is to continue to honor him by talking about him, if that makes any sort of sense?

take care..
post #8 of 8
9/27/05 at 9:01pm

I'm sorry....
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Mothering › Forums › Natural Family Living › Grief and Loss › My FIL died today.