to tell or not? updated

[dshields]

We have yet to tell our families about the babe, which was difficult at first because we had a family funeral and a wedding both during week four...but it just seemed too early. We never see them so it's been easy to stay hush.

My first appointment is scheduled for Oct. 20th and we thought that we'd go home that weekend to share the news in person.

BUT...my mom called last night to tell me that she's coming out by us for a conference today and wants to meet up for dinner. What to do! I want to tell her be able and share this but I feel so scared that something will go wrong. I'm seven weeks tomorrow. She is a nurse and mom of three so I'd love to be able to to turn to her for advice. I know that she'll be thrilled, but will she be nervous too? I lost a prenancy at 3 1/2 weeks and told her after the fact because I saw her that night. I want her to be excited but I don't want her to feel like she has to hold back because of fear that it's early still.

OOOhhh this is a rant! Sorry, if anyone has any suggestions or advice I could use it.

Update
Thanks ladies for all of the advice...I told her! I picked up two bouquets-one pink, one blue. When I met her at the restaurant I pulled them out and asked if she wanted a boy or a girl. Oh she lost it! Crying and laughing...I've never seen her so happy. She's already shopping. First grandbaby on both sides. Good advice gals...I think that we've had a hard time accepting that this will work out and telling is making it real...I've told two other people in the past hour. It feels great!

[LBW]

I'd tell. I told my mom and sister last night, and I'm 6 1/2 weeks. This is my second. I waited until I was past 12 weeks to tell family the first time around, but this time I feel a little more comfortable telling them sooner. I also wanted them to be as excited as I am.

[Danesmama]

Usually I wait until 12 weeks to tell anyone (even my Mom), but in your case I think you should tell her. She sounds like she has wonderful experience and could give you great support. The only consideration is if you think it will be too hard on her to keep your secret (because I am assuming that you don't want her to tell anyone). I wouldn't worry about making her worried - that's a mother's job .

[NYCVeg]

Dh and I told our parents and sisters this weekend, at five weeks. Our logic is: anyone we would talk to if something went wrong is someone we can tell early. For right now, that means just immediate family. We will probably tell a couple of close friends a little later, but before the second trimester (8-10 weeks). For everyone else, we'll wait until the 12 week mark.

[~*max*~]

Go ahead & tell your mom. It sounds like she would be a nice support for you. I only tell the people I would feel comfortable talking to about it if something went wrong. Since you would tell her anyway after the fact, why not share now? What a nice lunch you'll have!

[Guinevere]

If you know she'll be happy for you and that she is a source of support for you, definitely tell her! It will make you feel great, and she'll feel honored to have been trusted with such a precious gift!

While I understand, on one level, the whole "waiting to tell" thing because of concern of m/c, I also think anyone you'd tell who you know would be happy for you would ALSO be a great source of comfort if anything bad were to happen, so I personally only ever wait to tell people who I think WON'T be happy for me.

Unfortunately, in my case, that means I can tell all my friends and acquaintances right away, but I wait to tell my family, b/c they have not been supportive in the past of our choice to have a large family. It's their loss, but I don't need anything to bring me down right now, so I'll wait a bit...

Enjoy your meal with your mom and sharing such wonderful news!

Guin

[Naughty Dingo]

I think you should tell her as long as you would be comfortable with how you think she would deal if things went wrong. Sharing is one of the best parts of finding out you are pregnant!

If you do tell, will you let us know how she reacts?

ND

[dshields]

funny...I just wanted to add how happy/relieved I feel now after telling my mom. It's so cool! Thanks again!

[eorr]

Congrats, dshields! I'm glad it worked out for you and you did it in such a cute way!

[~*max*~]

Yay! Good for you. I'm glad you are feeling happy about it, and what a fun way to tell her.

[Rowenta]

that is great!! I can never hold it in. And it sounds like your mom was exstatic!
It has been killing me to not tell my sister but if you read my signiture you might figure out why i am holding back with her , hehe